2. A Harry Kind of Accident
Chapter 2
A Harry Kind of Accident
‘ A my! There you are.’
Amy heard James before she saw him. There was no mistaking the moment when her ex-husband entered a room. He was tall, commanding and utterly self-confident, qualities which had drawn her to him when they first met and driven her away as their marriage disintegrated. He’d come straight from the office, smartly dressed in a suit and tie, and his fiancée Laurie followed him. She wore a pair of impossibly high heels and a short, tight skirt which was going to make sitting on one of the school chairs quite difficult. Poor Laurie; she tried very hard when it came to being there for Harry, but she struggled with the practicalities of being a stepmother.
‘Shift your coat. We’ll have those seats next to you,’ James said. Amy picked up her coat from the empty chair beside her, and James and Laurie shuffled past a whole row of already-seated parents to sit with her.
‘What are you doing tucked away in the corner like this?’ James asked as he offered Laurie a hand to sit down.
‘I like it here,’ she said.
He took his place next to Amy. A year ago this proximity would’ve been unthinkable. The first year of their divorce had been filled with bitterness and fighting over Harry, but since the summer when James and Laurie had got engaged things had been easier. James had less to prove, and Laurie was a steadying influence. Against all the odds, Amy even quite liked her successor. Laurie tried hard with Harry and she was good for James. With Amy and James opposites had attracted, whereas James and Laurie were drawn together by their similarities. He prided himself on the fact he’d mended the relationship between himself and Amy after a tumultuous summer of misunderstandings, but it was largely Laurie who had smoothed the way.
‘How are the wedding plans going?’ Amy asked Laurie, as James checked his messages and turned off his phone.
‘It’s all fine. A few things still to organise – a meeting with the florist on the day after Boxing Day, then picking up the suits next week. I can’t wait for you to see Harry in his suit. He looks like a miniature version of James, it’s adorable!’
‘You must be getting excited now.’
‘I am. What about you? How are things with you and Matt? Looking forward to the holidays?’
‘Ssh, not so loud.’ Although Matt and Diane were sitting at the other side of the hall, she didn’t want to risk being overheard. ‘That’s Oliver’s granny over there.’
‘I thought you’d met Matt’s mother and she knew all about the two of you?’ Laurie whispered back.
‘No, his mum knows, but this is his first wife’s mother who’s here today. She was meant to come yesterday, but she’s turned up today instead. That’s her with him there – the lady with the grey hair. She’s not got over Stella’s death yet and Matt doesn’t want to make things worse, so he doesn’t want to tell her about us. That’s why I’m over here, and he’s over there.’
‘I see.’ Laurie was perceptive and had an ability to see straight to the heart of any problem. Nine times out of ten, she would come up with a clever and inventive solution. Amy looked at her, hopefully.
‘It must be really difficult for you,’ said Laurie, with a shrug. If Laurie had a solution there was no time for it now.
A crash of cymbals announced the beginning of the play, and an air of hushed anticipation descended.
‘Here we go.’ James put his phone in his pocket, folded his arms and leant back in his chair with an air of pride suggesting he was personally responsible for the performance.
The hall had been transformed. A hand-painted Christmas tree hung over the old PE apparatus and a landscape of paper snow formed the backdrop. The younger children had spent a large part of this half term manufacturing snowflakes in shades of pale blue and silver, all lavishly decorated with glitter, which hung above the stage and sparkled in the spotlights. A large signpost which read “To the North Pole” stood centre stage, and all the Key Stage One children, dressed as penguins, now waddled towards it and sang a song about how snow and ice are very, very nice.
‘When’s Harry’s bit?’ James checked the time on his phone as if he was keen to be away.
‘Not until later,’ Amy said.
Their song finished, it was taking rather a long time for all the little penguins to settle back into their places on the benches in front of the stage with the help of several rather frazzled teaching assistants in Christmas jumpers.
‘What’s Harry going to be this time?’ James asked .
‘He told you. He’s an egg,’ Amy whispered back.
‘Oh yes. I remember now. An egg. Why is he an egg in a Christmas play? I thought he had a bigger part this time.’
‘There was an accident , as Ms Lewandowska put it,’ Amy whispered. ‘You know about that. I told you the whole story last month.’
James shook his head blankly. ‘What kind of an accident?’ he asked.
‘A Harry kind,’ Amy said, though she knew what Harry’s sense of humour was like, and poo-gate had almost certainly not been accidental. ‘He was supposed to say, I have to work so very hard, there’s such a lot to do, I have to go back home again to work and mend this shoe , but he claims he forgot his lines, and that wasn’t what he said.’
‘So, what did he actually say?’ James asked, their conversation masked by a loud song about gingerbread.
‘ I have to work so very hard, there’s such a lot to do, I’m going to the toilet for a great big smelly – You can guess the rest. Ms Lewandowska had him off the stage before he had a chance to get the word out, and now he’s an egg and all he has to say is Yes. Even Harry can’t mess that up.’
Well, probably not.
‘So, we’ve taken the afternoon off work and come all the way into Saddleton just to hear Harry say one word?’ James asked.
‘That’s right. Although you can never quite predict what Harry’s going to do.’
‘You don’t need to tell me.’ James rolled his eyes theatrically and sighed loudly as the Christmas music fanfare ended and a hush descended.
Suddenly there was much tittering amongst the parents as a fight broke out between two of the penguins. Beak elastic twanged, and there was a wail of despair as one penguin’s beak scuttered across the floor and into the audience, from which it had to be retrieved by a classroom assistant before the play could start again.
‘Finally,’ said James, as Harry’s class made their entrance, led by Oliver, dressed as Billy the Elf. He frowned nervously as he led the grand procession of elves, accompanied by walking, talking, Christmas presents, who marched through the hall towards the Santa family. They all sang a song about wanting A Hippopotamus for Christmas . Right at the back came Harry who stomped along in his oversized Wellington boots wearing a large cardboard egg with an arm sticking out at either side. The ensemble was topped incongruously with a yellow elf-hat, and Harry shook his head from side to side, making the jingle-bell on the end hit the elf next to him. When he saw Amy, James and Laurie, he grinned and waved before he returned to his headshaking.
In an everlasting scene each elf introduced their gift, each gift announced which child they were destined for, and Billy the Elf added a label. This went on for fully five minutes, until they got to the final elf and the final gift – Harry, of course.
‘Here we go,’ Amy whispered to Laurie. ‘Harry’s big moment.’
‘I’ve brought an egg in a box,’ announced the elf, and Oliver, as Billy-the-Elf-Who-Saved-Christmas, stopped and consulted his list.
‘But aren’t you an Easter egg?’ he asked. All Harry had to say was Yes . They’d practised the timing every night for the last fortnight, so he wouldn’t make a mistake.
One word, just one word.
Harry’s face lit up with a beaming grin as he relished his moment in the spotlight and Amy braced herself. She knew that look; Harry was thinking about saying something silly. She crossed her fingers and scrunched up her cold toes inside her wet boots, as if it would make a difference, and willed him not to do it. He opened his mouth and she tensed.
‘Yes,’ said Harry, and she let her breath out with a whoosh.
‘You silly elf.’ Oliver continued with his lines. ‘It wasn’t an egg in a box – it should have been an X-box.’ He paused, waiting for the audience to laugh. ‘We don’t need an Easter Egg now; we’ll see you in April.’
Harry shuffled off the stage, grinning and waving as he went. The choir burst into a rendition of I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus and Amy smiled with relief.
By the end of the play the penguins at the front of the stage bounced with excitement, wings and beaks flapping as they danced. Even the bigger kids weren’t trying to hide their enthusiasm, eyes sparkling like the tinsel which adorned their heads as they sang along. All around the stage fairy lights twinkled, and the percussion group gave it hell with the jingle bells. Amy spotted Laurie wiping away a sentimental tear. Of course, this was her first Christmas Spectacular. By the time she’d seen a few more of them, she’d be as glad as everyone else when it was all over.
‘That was adorable,’ Laurie said, as the audience began to rise to their feet in search of their offspring. ‘Those sweet little penguins!’
Amy glanced over to the other side of the hall where Matt and Diane were deep in conversation with Ms Lewandowska. She tried to catch his eye while Diane wasn’t looking, but he moved and turned his back to her. She sighed.
‘Let’s go and get Harry from his classroom,’ she said to James and Laurie.