Chapter 17
Leif
When I pull away, Noelle blinks, as if her line of thought has been shattered by my impulsive move.
“Was I right?” I ask, brushing hair from her temple.
“Yes,” she says, reaching for me.
But I catch her hands, pressing them against my chest. “Noelle, I don’t want to gloss over what it was you were thinking before. But I can’t help the feeling that it was going to be goodbye, and I couldn’t let you do that before telling you how I feel.”
Noelle’s face is tight with something—nerves? Concern? “Tell me, then.”
“I had a lot of time up there in space, in between reading instruments and taking measurements and doing all the things we needed to do to make the trip a successful mission. Everyone said I wouldn’t have a moment to think about anything at all, that it would be a blur.
But I did have a moment. A million little moments, and in each one of them, I thought of you.
Knowing you. Kissing you. Being with you… ”
“Leif,” she says softly, pressing her palms to my chest. Even through my sweater they sear me.
“I thought about the way you get excited when you talk about the things you love. The way you tease me about being a space nerd.”
She smiles, her eyes growing wet.
“I love how you care about an old ghost story, and how my family loved you before they even met you.” I cup her face again.
“I know you said once that it was too hard, that you just want to be friends. But Noelle, I can’t exist in this world with you and just be your friend.
I came back to earth needing to tell you that. ”
I swallow, lowering my hands to her hips; gently brushing the soft fabric of this sexy as hell sweater dress.
“And when I saw you…” I slide my hands up, grasping her ribs and running my thumbs just under the swell of her breasts.
“I can’t take dreaming about touching you.
Wanting you so badly my whole fucking body hurts. ”
She swallows, her lips parting.
She wants me too.
“Noelle—”
But this time she doesn’t let me finish. She rises up on her tiptoes, bunches my sweater in her hands, and plants her lips on mine.
Unlike mine, her kiss isn’t soft and questioning. It’s desperate and needy, and sets fire to what’s inside of me.
“I’m trying to tell you I love you, Noelle,” I rasp. “I’ve loved you for years.”
A tear runs down her cheek.
“You don’t have to say it back,” I say, brushing it away. Even if it fucking kills me, I won’t beg her to say it back. I won’t force her to be with me if it’s not what she wants. “I just needed you to know.”
“I know,” she whispers. She hooks her fingers in the loops of my jeans and pulls me against her.
I feel my hardness press up against her belly, and it’s all over then.
A better man might back up, give her space.
But right now I’m not that better man. I’m a man in love.
Desperate, primal, all-encompassing love.
I kiss her, hard and deep, my tongue probing the soft heat of her mouth, seeking hers. I lace my fingers through her hair, groaning with need as she presses her body up against mine.
“Tell me what you want, Noelle,” I manage to rasp. I need to give her an out at least.
“I want you to fuck me, Leif. I want to be as close to you as possible.”
I groan, my dick throbbing. “You sure, Noelle? Because once I feel you wrapped around my cock, there’ll be no going back.”
Her pupils flare at the words, but her hand drops down between us, grazing my length under my jeans. “I’m sure.”
I can barely see through my desire for her, but I panic as I realize there’s no room for us.
Even the floor is a cold, scuffed linoleum.
Then my eyes land on one of those old metal-framed chairs with a fake leather seat and back.
Not exactly roomy or comfortable, but I walk her back to it anyway. “It’s freezing in here,” I say.
I sit her down on it, then slide it fast toward me, making her squeal. Bracing my arms on either side of her thighs I lean forward and kiss her neck, inhaling her soft vanilla scent and dying a little inside.
“Noelle,” I say between kisses. “I wanted to take my time on you.”
She shakes her head. “Not now. I’ve thought about you taking me for five years.”
I grin, kissing her, then nipping at her jaw. “Are you saying making you wait any longer would be cruel?”
“Yes,” she breathes.
“You keep talking like that and I won’t make it at all.”
She laughs softly, running her hands through my hair. “You’re a resourceful guy, Leif. Find a way.”