15. Theo
We shuffled through the neighbourhood under the murky, dim light of lamp posts. Will’s street always made me think I transported back to an olden English era, when these were first put up. The cottage-style pavement made me feel like I should ask Audrey to hold my arm, and imagine we were walking in a scene from Emma, or with our circumstances, we’d probably be more suited to Pride and Prejudice. I thought back and remembered when Mum used to have the Austen films taped from a day of BBC reruns, and we’d watch them all in a row, only pausing for the occasional snack break. As I looked over to Audrey, pacing onwards with her lips starting to turn a shade of blue, I was honestly surprised she was still here with me.
“Sorry again for ambushing you tonight,” I said, now that we were out of Will and Lucy’s company. “I really didn’t know Lucy was his personal chef, or that you’d be the plus one tagging along.”
She turned to me with an almost forgiving smile placed subtly on her face, as if she wished I didn’t notice. “It’s fine, it’s all a bit of a weird coincidence from both ends.”
I could see the fairy lights from the bar coming up, meaning we were getting closer. A relief, since my hands were shaking in my pockets. “It looks like Will has taken a bit of a liking to Lucy, don’t you think?”
Her head snapped to face me. I got the feeling she didn’t want to bring it up until I did, out of loyalty to her friend… or even more possibly, she worried it was a misunderstanding. But with Will acting the way he was, that certainly was no misunderstanding. “I was wondering what’s going on there. At first, I was suspicious of how nice she looked tonight… but after all of that dancing, it’s hard to not think they invited us as a distraction so that they didn’t have to make their intentions so clear.”
“And what intentions are you referring to?” I smirked. Even the word ‘intentions’ felt like it came from an old English classic.
“The naughty kind that you don’t want to make so obvious to your daughters.” She nudged me with her elbow. “I can’t say Lucy would take well to the kids asking, ‘are you my new mother?’”
I laughed. “When did you get so crude?”
She shrugged. “You”d honestly be surprised. Besides, is it really that crude to admit the truth? I feel like I know Lucy’s head more than I know my own sometimes.”
“Huh, so you think she’d be opposed to the kid side of things?” I asked. If so, maybe I should worry about Will and Lucy getting cosier? He wouldn’t want to jump into something so close to home unless it was serious, with the girls involved.
“No, not at all.” Audrey shook her head. “But I can’t imagine the girls are in the forefront of her mind when she wants to stick her tongue down his throat.”
“Oh, no doubt. I feel like if we took it to a judge, we’d be offered some kind of compensation for inadvertent babysitting tonight, after they ignored us.” I joked, surprised to see her smile along with it. “I can’t say I minded though, all things considered.”
“Personally, I would’ve liked to fit in a bit more.” Audrey turned to my pleated trousers and dress shirt. “It seems I’m the only one who missed the memo of what kind of dress code the dinner would have.”
“You look lovely.” I grinned, and I meant it. Ever since I first met her, I always thought she was breath-taking, even if she seemed out of place. Tonight was another one of those circumstances.
“Stop it,” she warned. “I’m not here to be schmoozed, especially not by you.”
We’d reached the bar—a nice setting with glass windows and a solid oak door, likely used to barricade the drunkards out when it hit closing time. “That’s actually why I brought you here,” I admitted. “We need to get this out of our system, don’t you think?”
I opened the door and waited for her to follow me, before I closed it softly behind her. I didn’t recognise the bar staff tonight, but it was a woman with red hair and a few piercings, looking utterly odd in the posh village we’re in. “Take a seat, loves. It’s table service,” the woman spoke, a sweet Welsh accent coming from her gruff appearance.
“Thank you.” Audrey nodded politely, before returning a sour face to me as we sat in a refurbished, brown leather booth. “By ‘get this out of our system’, what exactly are you suggesting?”
I smirked, aware of the connotation I might’ve purposely dropped. “Where’s your mind going to, Audrey?” When she didn’t dignify me with an answer, I surrendered an explanation. “I mean we talk it out. Sure, we made a half-hearted truce earlier, but we might need to talk through our past if we’re to tolerate each other in the future.”
“Are you saying you don’t tolerate me?”
I gave her a knowing look. “I think it’s clear that you’re the one with the issue here.”
Audrey seemed to admire the cocktail menu, just enough to get her head out of this conversation for a few spare moments, but I could tell she was contemplating my offer. She’d agreed to follow me here, after all, when she could’ve given Lucy and Will space by heading home instead. “I just want to know one thing, Theo.”
Finally, some momentum. I sat forward eagerly, showing her how motivated I was for taking things a step further—towards the right direction. “Fire away.”
“Why?” Her eyes turned vulnerable, and I could tell the wine had gotten her over the line. I wasn’t so stupid to not know what she was referring to, either. Why did I go? And honestly, the biggest surprise to me since finding her again was learning that she still cared, after all these years. But maybe my surprise was laced with wishful thinking, hoping she cared for another reason, not just to get over a grudge and put our feud to bed. “Every time I look back, I can’t find a reason for it. Not just why you left, but why you thought it was better for me to stay there, all alone at that restaurant, hoping you’d come through the door.”
My chest constricted, but I tried to ignore it. I didn’t know she’d done that—and how could I have known? I didn’t keep in contact, and that was on me. Still, it opened up a fresh wound, just like I knew it did for Audrey, too. “That day, I was a jerk. I’m aware of it,” I started, and was surprised she held the patience for me to continue. “But I was a bit of a mess myself.”
“And how so?” she cooed, like I was childishly deflecting responsibility.
I breathed in and out, ready to relive the memory I’d tried to bury down all these years, even if I could never fully get over it. “For the first time since I’d arrived in Australia, my dad called me—it happened the same day as our date. He told me Mum was in a crash, and things weren’t looking good. Dad organised a private charter back to England and said that it was the only chance I”d have to say my goodbyes. I had to put my phone on flight mode for the trip and when I finally landed, I received your messages far too late.” Her challenging expression dropped, as if she was splashed in cold water, and she’d just sobered up. She didn’t say anything, though, still giving me the chance to finish the story. “I didn’t handle things in the best way, because all I could think about was Mum… and by the time I’d arrived back home, she was gone. I was too late.”
“Shit, Theo.” Her hand found its way to my shoulder, soothingly rubbing it with her fingers. But after I swept past those initial jitters, I didn’t need the comfort. It’d been years, and I’d come to terms with what happened, though it looked like Audrey still needed to know the truth.
“I couldn’t really bring myself to tell you about it. It was too raw, at least for those first few months. And then when I finally could gather the strength to reach out properly, I saw a photo of you cosying up to someone in one of Henry’s articles.” I laughed, thinking how stupid I must’ve been to let that hold me back. And the fact that I’d just admitted to keeping up with her through a local news forum halfway across the world, where Henry posted spam most of the time. I was that desperate.
She bit her lips, as if taking in the new information, and reassessing what this meant for us. “That must’ve been Louis,” she finally said. “I tried to get over you, all things considered. It barely lasted a month.”
“Why does that make me feel relieved?” I flirted, and while she still rolled her eyes, it wasn’t filled with hate or contempt like I was used to feeling from her. It was like two old friends, joking about things they used to be so caught up over, unsure of why it ever bothered them that much.
“Hey, now.” She let out a heavenly chuckle. “Just because you’ve turned my reason to hate you upside down, it doesn’t mean we can suddenly be all up in each other’s faces again.”
“Are you so sure about that?” I tried, and while her face reddened, she gave me a chance to take it back. I didn’t want to. I wanted to use what little time we had together on the project to build as much momentum as I could with her, no matter where that would take us. To do that, I wanted to put all my cards out on the table in front of me, along with my intentions, but that would only scare her off.“Anyway,” I changed the subject. “I know you’ve made it clear about leaving at the end of the project, but what’s this about having a chance to get your contract extended?”
“Did Ava tell you?” She hmphed, noticing Will and Lucy left out that particular detail at dinner. The bartender came just in time for her to really think the question over. Audrey ordered an espresso martini, ‘to wake her up’, and I muttered the name of a German beer. “Why can’t the women in my life keep their mouths shut to handsome men?”
“You still think I’m handsome?” I taunted, and she put up a hand to stop me in my tracks.
“The thing with Ava’s contract is, if I extend it, it’s not just for a little while. It’s three years or nothing,” she explained.
“She must really be trying to get you to stick around.”
“Here you go!” the bartender returned, and Audrey’s cocktail looked splendid. Dark roasted coffee on top, with a nice egg-white foam...my grumbling beer paled in comparison.
“Thank you,” we both said as the woman left, before I added my piece. “Three years is pretty good stability, and it’s clear Lucy must be keen on the prospect, too.”
She took a slurp from the top, foam sticking to her mouth before she licked it off again. “Think of it this way; if I keep putting off France, it’s never going to happen.”
I smiled. I loved the way she dreamed of France, even back then. “So, after the gala’s over, then you’re out?” I clarified.
“Just like I texted you from day one.”
“In that case, let me put forward an ultimatum.” I straightened my posture, as if I was trying to score an actual business deal. “You showed me around your town, let me return the favour. I want you to missLondon by the time you leave.”
Her head tilted, almost seeming impressed by the proposition. “You’d free up your schedule this next month, just to help me make the most of it?”
“Without a doubt.” I grinned, hoping it would work in my favour.
“I’ll think on it,” she said, taking another swig of the cocktail before it was empty. We’d been talking so much, I didn’t even notice my drink was still nearly full. “Happy to take care of things here?” She stretched out as she stood, intending that I’d get the bill.
“Fine.” I shook my head, realising I’d been played. “I do want an answer though, you hear me?”
“We’ll see.” She laughed, and as she left, a woosh of cold air found its way through the oak door, filling the bar with a sense of loneliness.