27. Theo
Iwasn’t easily concerned, but after Audrey let me know she was discussing her contract with Ava at three-o-clock today, and that she’d meet me by four, when she still hadn’t arrived by six, I was starting to worry. I’d sent her a text, asking if everything was going okay, but she still hadn’t replied. While someone else might think there’d been an accident, I knew Audrey’s attachment style, and I could tell she was trying to gather the courage to talk to me about the outcome of the meeting. She had to make a decision: me or France. And after only telling me she loved me three days ago, this decision wouldn’t have been an easy one.
Even then, my mind pretended we had another three years to sort things out. More time for those big decisions that I talked about with Dad after packing up the venue. Today, she must’ve been begging Ava for some flexibility—that the contract wasn’t three years or nothing, and that we would eventually be able to figure things out together. That would be the best outcome, so that Audrey didn’t feel like she was giving everything up entirely. If anything, it would give me more time to figure out how to make things work on my end, too. I didn’t like that she had the burden on her shoulders entirely, but what could I do about it? If anything, Ava was the only one with any real power here, but she was still following directions herself, from her own managers. The corporate machine never rested, and I was starting to realise that despite being a person of privilege, I was still facing the backlash of corporate’s clutches. Even if my life had been smooth-sailing when it came to work, money, and ambition, reality would show itself when I least expected it.
And when the clock struck seven, I heard my apartment door buzz. I debated with myself, wondering what the outcome would be if I pretended no one was behind that door at all. It was like Pandora’s box; so long as I kept it shut, nothing would hurt me. I shuffled on my feet for a short moment, really leaning into the idea of blissful ignorance, but being with Audrey… it wasn’t just about me anymore. As soon as the thought ran through my head, I rushed to let her in, and when I saw tears running down her face, I knew my nightmare had come true. “Audrey, come here,” I said, holding my arms around her. A sinking feeling in my gut emerged, as if I’d swallowed a brick. We were done for.
“I really tried, Theo,” she blubbered, hot tears sinking through my shirt. “I thought after the event I might be able to convince Ava to change the terms, but she said it made her realise she needed me to stick around even more.”
I gulped, my throat feeling thick and dry. The rest of my pleas were hopeless, but I had to let them out, or I’d never forgive myself. “Is that so bad, love?” I ushered her to the lounge where she nestled into the beige, cable-knit throw draped over it. “We can make it work, and we can visit Paris as much as you want while you’re here.”
She looked at me, guilt washing over her features, and I knew my luck was running out. “I’ve put it on hold for so long, Theo. It’s the one thing I’ve always wanted… if I keep delaying it, I know it’s never going to end up happening.”
“But—” I started, then stopped. She was right. I was happy here, because I’d been here my whole life. Just because I was comfortable, I failed to realise how she must have felt when her life was turned upside down by her placement in London, when she was promised it would only be short term. We may have met and found love again because fate willed it, but it wasn’t fair that she had to keep shifting her plans for me.
“I would’ve done it, all those years ago…” Audrey sighed. “But now I’m running out of time. If I have to build a whole new life in Paris, I need to do it while I’m still young.”
Now that she knew why I’d left, she didn’t blame me for it… but her point still stood. If she was my forever—and after all these years, I knew in my gut that she was—I had to meet her halfway. “It’s going to be okay, Audrey.” She looked up, confused that we weren’t calling it quits in that moment, and some part of me was as well. Long distance never worked; it was only for hopeless people who wanted to live in a fantasy, one that would turn them miserable when they eventually found out their other half was leaving them. Still, even if it made me a fool as well, somehow, I had confidence that we’d be different. “I want to make this work. For you, and for us.”
“How?” She wept.
“We can try long distance,” I suggested, though the look in her eyes seemed uncertain. Of course she would be—the last time I flew to another country when we were dating, I ghosted her for five years. She had absolutely no reason to trust me, but I wanted to find a way to keep us going. “I’ve always been one to trust fate, and if us meeting again means anything, it’s that we’ll be able to work through this for now, and find a solution down the line.”
“You know my solution would have to be in France though, right?” she asked, checking if I was prepared to drop everything for this. For her.
But that didn’t faze me one bit. And if I tried to convince her that France wasn’t that far to visit if she was to stay in London, then I should come to the reality that London isn’t that far to visit if I was with her in France. “I understand.”
She stayed still for a while, and it made me wonder whether her tears had turned her to stone entirely. Audrey was ready to make the biggest decision of her life, and I needed to help ease her worries, even just for today. “Want to get some take out and watch The Parent Trap?”
“TheParent Trap?” she asked, a chuckle forming in her voice by how out of the blue the suggestion felt. “Where on Earth did that come from?”
“My mum,” I said, catching her interest. It was like Audrey loved hearing about her—like it made her feel closer to me. “Whenever she had a bad day, it wasn’t long before she found her way to a TV, kicking off her shoes as she curled up on the couch, and played The Parent Trap from start to finish.”
“Really?” she asked, rolling over and looking up to me. Her eyes were puffy and red, though she seemed like she’d finally started to calm down.
“Truly,” I said. “And honestly, I still do it from time to time, when I need a nostalgic distraction. I think it’ll do us both well.”
Audrey traced her hand over my collarbone, or what parts of it had peeked through my white button up, before a real smile finally formed on her face. “I’d love to.”
“And let’s order Thai food,” I suggested. “A curry might be nice to cry over right now.”
“Perfect. I can’t think of a better way to wallow.”
It didn’t take long for Audrey to drift away, her head resting gently on my lap while she clutched a spoon in her hand from the ice cream we finished off. I tried to pry it from her fingers, hoping it’d relax her just a little bit more, but she only tightened her death grip further. Charming, I thought to myself. Maybe I’d even be delighted to see a bit of drool in the process, not that I’d ever tell her. But now that she was asleep, I finally had a chance to act, since there was no way in hell I’d give up on us so easily.
I held her neck up and somehow manoeuvred a pillow underneath it, giving me the chance to break free unnoticed. With one final look behind me, making sure to shift her blanket to cover her shoulders after it had curled up in our movements, I took my phone and stepped into a faraway room. I dialled the number of the only person I knew who had enough power to figure this out for me, and I was grateful he was also the only professional eager to pick up my calls after hours. “Dad?”
“What’s going on?” he asked, his voice hoarse. “If this is a work thing, don’t stress about it until we’re back in the office.”
“It’s not a work thing,” I said, then backtracked. “Well, I guess it is. You’ve been wanting to expand the business, right? And sink our teeth further into Europe?”
The line shuffled, showing he was moving. Likely to somewhere more comfortable to take a call longer than expected. “That is the goal, yes.”
“Why don’t we expand to France?” I asked. Though with the frail tone of my voice, I’m sure it came across as a beg.
“Well, that’s a splendid idea,” I heard Dad say. “I’m sure we can arrange that.” But before I got my hopes up, I realised he was thinking well into the future, not knowing my urgency.
“I mean soon, Dad. I’ve shown that I can handle the responsibility, so I’m happy to spearhead this—I just need you to extend the olive branch.”
“I can’t really change things up like that on a whim, Theo. Negotiations with our existing French investors could take months, years even.” His voice became strained. “This is about Audrey, isn’t it?”
I hadn’t told Dad much about Audrey, but I knew he”d taken note. From the soft glances he caught in the office, to the obvious footage of us in the archive room that we agreed to forget about. Besides, we all knew Audrey was fighting hard against Ava’s request to keep her around. In fact, it was one of the early things Dad learnt about her; that there was a fantastic new staff member at the agency, and we were trying our hardest to keep her in England. “Yeah.” I hung my head low. “It’s about Audrey.”
“I’m sorry, Theo.” Dad cleared his throat. “I really wish I could fix this for you, and you’re right that we planned to expand one day, but… you know how it can be. Still, I’ll see what I can do.”
“I get it, Dad. Thanks for being honest with me.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, a sinking feeling in my gut knowing that I’d exhausted my last chance. Dad pulled through every time I was stuck somewhere. It was the entire point of nepotism, knowing you had something to fall back on if things turned sour. Yet, for the first time, it ended here, and my only option was to try and see how long we could handle a long-distance relationship before it broke us in half.