Chapter 50
50
ASHER
I approached Susan Warner’s body, only this time, her head turned toward me as I drew near. Her sightless eyes fixed on me and her mouth formed words I couldn’t understand.
I jerked away from her, only to find myself face-to-face with Lionel Lowry. His mangled leg hung uselessly, and he was supporting himself with a cane. Blood dripped from his wounds as he limped forward.
I stumbled.
“This is your fault, Asher,” he growled.
“Asher.”
“Asher!”
“Ash, wake up. You’re having a nightmare.”
I jerked upright and my eyes snapped open, but my vision was blurry. I blinked gritty eyes.
Damn, I felt like I hadn’t slept at all. I’d struggled to shut my mind off last night, and I hadn’t been sure I’d sleep at all, but I must have dozed off at some point.
“Ash?” Summer sounded concerned.
I drew in a deep breath and tried to calm my racing heart. Sodden sheets covered my legs. I must have been sweating heavily.
“I’m okay,” I said, forcing myself to focus on her gorgeous face. Her hair fell in a mess around her shoulders, but no trace of sleepiness lingered in her expression. “Bad dream.”
She frowned. “About the fire?”
“No, actually.” Although that would make more sense. I leaned against the headboard. “First I was at the site of that fatal accident on the mountain, and then, for some reason, Lionel Lowry was there, but he hadn’t healed yet.”
She bit her lip. “I’m sorry. That must have been awful.”
“Yeah.” I dragged my hands down my face. Guilt still sat heavy in my gut, like an undigested meal.
“You know that you can’t blame yourself for what happened to them, right?” she asked. “They were in accidents that had nothing to do with you.”
I flopped my head back against the headboard, wincing at the slight thud. “That doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty. Like, if I’d tried harder, I could have saved them.”
Summer hesitated. “I might be overstepping, but have you considered seeing a therapist?”
I stiffened and swung my legs off the edge of the bed, turning away from her. What was with the women in my life thinking I needed help?
“I’m fine. I just need a good, hard cycle. I’m sorry about your bed. We’ll need to wash the sheets.”
“That’s fine. I have a dryer.” She didn’t call me out about changing the subject. “Why don’t you shower while I get started on the laundry?”
I nodded, grateful for the direction. I always felt lost after work-related nightmares, and having a task helped ground me in the present.
I showered and dressed in clothes from the bag my parents had packed for me.
Thankfully, one of my paramedic uniforms was at the station, so I’d be able to get changed once I was there.
Summer was already in the kitchen when I entered. She opened the pantry door. “There’s bread if you want a sandwich or toast. I’ve got cereal too, or yogurt and fruit.”
I grabbed the loaf of bread and toasted a couple of slices, then slathered them with peanut butter. There was no instant coffee, so I drank chai along with Summer, and we sat beside each other at the table.
“Are you going to take today off?” she asked, scooping yogurt and banana into her mouth.
“Nah, I need the distraction.” If I moped around her place all day, I’d go out of my mind.Summer didn’t push back on this, but the narrowing of her eyes suggested she didn’t approve. “Call me if you need anything. Promise?”
“I will.”
We finished breakfast and she drove me to the fire station. Snow was no longer falling, but a crisp blanket of white covered the township and extended into the horizon. No doubt the vacationing skiers would be ecstatic. Meanwhile, we’d be fielding more ice-related calls.
Summer pulled up outside the station and I leaned over to kiss her cheek before getting out of the car. I walked inside, strangely anxious to see Liam. Usually, if anything went wrong in my life, he was my go-to guy to talk it over with, but I wasn’t sure if I still had that privilege.
“No,” Parks said as he stepped out of his office. “Go home. I’ve already got someone in to work your shift today.”
Frustration simmered in my stomach. “But I didn’t call in sick.”
Parks scowled. “Your house was on fire yesterday. No one expects you to be here.”
I jutted my chin out. “Maybe not, but I need to keep my mind off everything.”
He glanced toward the staff room door and grimaced. “Fine, but you’re not going out on calls. You can take cooking duty.”
I nodded. I’d accept what I could get. “Thanks, sir.”
He just grunted. “Get to it. Oh, and Heaton?”
“Yes, sir?”
“I never want to see you behave as recklessly as you did yesterday when we’re on a job. Got it?”
I ducked my head. I’d been expecting the rebuke. I’d known he wouldn’t want me to take Cookie’s safety into my own hands, but I had anyway. “I won’t.”
“Make sure you don’t.” A slight smile curved his thin mouth. “How’s your cat?”
“She’s fine.” We’d left her at Summer’s place, locked inside with a couple of toys, a bowl of biscuits, and her litter box.
“Glad to hear it.” He tipped his head toward me and preceded me into the staff room.
As soon as I entered, the conversation abruptly halted. To my surprise, Liam broke away from a group of men clustered around the kitchen counter and hauled me into a hug.
“How are you doing?” he asked gruffly.
“Still getting my mind around it,” I admitted, clapping him on the back and drawing away.We had a lot to talk about, but at least he obviously still gave a shit about me.
“We’re so sorry about your house,” Zane said, dragging me into another embrace.
“Do you have insurance?” Igor asked, keeping his distance even though his eyes shone with sympathy. He wasn’t much of a hugger. To be fair, nor was I.
“I do,” I replied. “I suppose I’d better call them today.”
I’d intended to make the call yesterday, but I’d been overwhelmed and sought refuge with Summer instead.
My other colleagues gathered around, each one taking the time to offer help if I needed it. My heart warmed. This group meant so much to me.
“Any idea who’s behind it?” Maia asked, passing me a coffee.
I sipped the drink. It was delicious, which meant that either Liam or Igor must have made it. “I don’t know. I haven’t heard anything from Nate or Parks, so I assume they haven’t figured it out either.”
I liked to think they’d tell me if they knew.
“No leads yet,” Parks confirmed from the doorway. “We’ll get an arson investigator in though. We’re taking this very seriously.”
As they should. I couldn’t even remember the last case of arson in Destiny Falls, besides a few kids setting bonfires that got out of control, and one woman who’d tried to dramatically burn her ex’s belongings only to have her whole garden go up in flames.
Darcy nudged my elbow. When I glanced down at him, he gestured for me to go with him. Frowning, I followed him to the side of the room, far enough away from the others that I doubted they’d be able to hear us.
“I just found out about you and Summer,” Darcy said, obviously uncomfortable. “I’m sorry if I stepped on any toes the other day. I didn’t realize you guys have something going.”
“It’s fine.” I knew I’d been an ass about the situation. He couldn’t have known how I’d felt about Summer because I hadn’t said a word. “Just don’t hit on her again.”
He laughed nervously. “I definitely won’t.”
“Then we’re all good.” I offered him my hand, and he pumped it.
The alarm sounded, and I immediately lurched into action, but stopped myself before I bolted out the door. I wasn’t on duty today. I just had to stay here and make sure my coworkers would have something to eat and drink when they got back.
I headed to the kitchen and got to work. The station was slammed with one callout after another.
When the team left within a couple of minutes of returning in the afternoon, I decided they deserved a treat. I grabbed my wallet, let Parks know where I was going, and wandered down to Taste of Destiny on foot.
As soon as I stepped inside, I came face-to-face with Ashley and immediately regretted my decision to leave the station. I tensed, uncertain what to expect from her considering how we’d left things between us when Summer and I had told her we were together.
But Ashley didn’t look upset. Nor did she have the glint in her eye that meant trouble.
“I’m so sorry about your house,” she said.
A tiny bit of my tension released, but I was still wary of her. “Thanks. I called the insurance company at lunch, and they’ve said that as soon as we’re allowed back in, they’ll send someone to see what we’re dealing with.”
“That’s really good.” She cleared her throat, and glanced down at the table, then back at me. “I want to apologize.”
“For what?”
Someone entered behind me, and I shuffled out of the way.
She grimaced. “For making you uncomfortable. It’s obvious that Summer has won you over, and I shouldn’t have pushed as hard as I did. I just wanted someone decent, and I knew you fit the bill.” Her lips twisted slyly. “She better hold onto you tightly.”
I stared at her, uncertain how to respond. With her words, she was telling me she’d given up on the idea of us, but her tone suggested she might be clinging onto a shred of hope.
I crossed my fingers I was imagining that.