Chapter 40
40
As we walk into the dining room, to have another family dinner, Beau catches my arm, gently pulling me to one side.
‘Lana, are you and Ethan getting married?’ he asks. His expression is serious, his eyes full of concern. There might even be a little hint of jealousy in there – or maybe I’m reaching.
His question catches me off guard. I don’t know what to say. Actually, yes, I do.
‘No, no,’ I insist with a bat of my hand. ‘Ethan is just… he’s trying really hard, to get back together, but we’re long over. He’s just having a difficult time accepting it.’
All I really need to do is think about Steve and then swap out his name for Ethan’s.
‘Is that so?’ Beau replies.
‘Absolutely,’ I tell him. ‘We’ve had this trip planned for some time so I thought it might be nice to bring him along, give him one last good holiday, something nice to remember me by, before we’re over for good. He knows this.’
‘Well, that is incredibly kind of you,’ he tells me. ‘Listen, we’d better catch the others up, but I was wondering if you might like to come to my room tonight, to spend a little more time together, just the two of us?’
Another question to catch me off guard.
‘Oh, yeah – yes, okay, sure,’ I reply, my accent a bit like a boomerang, going in a different direction, then coming right back.
He nods towards the dining room, as if to tell me to hurry, before the others notice we’ve hung back.
Okay, I’m not misreading this one, am I? Is this actually something? Does he really want me?
It’s all I can think about, as I take my seat at the table, and as the conversation flows I find my mind wandering off, going to Beau’s room, thinking about what I might find there.
‘So, is this a celebration?’ Tiggy asks. ‘Are you two really getting hitched?’
‘I told him I would think about it,’ I reply.
Beau makes eyes at me. He gives me a knowing smirk, now that he thinks he’s in on our little secret.
‘Never keep a man waiting too long,’ Bea says. ‘You’re not getting any younger – the offer won’t be on the table forever.’
‘It will,’ Ethan says with a smile. ‘I’ll wait for her to see that we’re meant to be – as long as it takes.’
‘That’s rather sweet,’ Tiggy says. ‘If you’re into that sort of thing. I would be looking for a parachute, if someone said that to me – I don’t know why I’m in a jet in this scenario.’
I do. Because she’s Tiggy.
‘Well, Lana has a great idea for an app for that,’ Ethan tells her.
‘Ah, yes, I’ve heard about this app,’ Beau chimes in.
‘Oh, go on?’ Tiggy says. ‘I love an app.’
‘Basically, if you’re in a situation you need to get out of, you can get a fake call or a fake text, with a fake emergency, saying you need to leave ASAP,’ Ethan tells her.
‘Er, what?’ Seph says.
‘That’s hilarious,’ Chester adds. ‘Surely no serious human would need that.’
I can see from most of the expressions on the table that they think my idea is completely dumb.
‘It’s supposed to be for safety,’ I say, defending it. ‘If you’re on a date and you’re worried, or you just want to leave and you don’t think the guy will take it well.’
‘Well, if you will only date psychopaths,’ Bea adds.
‘None taken,’ Ethan jokes.
Bea just ignores him.
‘Is this the business we talked about me potentially investing in?’ Beau can’t help but ask.
‘Run a mile, chap,’ Chester warns him. ‘She’s going to bleed you dry with that one.’
‘Yes,’ I reply, ignoring Chester. ‘It’s a safety thing.’
‘That does sound a little silly,’ Beau says as tactfully as he can. ‘I can’t imagine much of a market for it.’
‘It’s not silly, it’s all part of something bigger, to keep women safe,’ I insist. ‘That’s not the whole idea – there would be a button that will message your friend, giving them your real-time location, in case something happens, and a panic button in case something really bad happens. Maybe even something that links to a rape alarm, in your bag, so that if you’re in trouble you can just hit something on your phone – it’s not always easy to rummage around in your bag. The phone – or even a smartwatch – is more subtle.’
‘Where on earth do you spend your time, Lana?’ Bea asks me, genuinely horrified. ‘Because it sounds like you’re trying to make a safe way to fraternise with murderers and sex offenders.’
‘The world is full of murderers and sex offenders,’ I remind her. ‘And they don’t always look like they belong on Crimewatch , most of the time they look like you and me. I almost had my drink spiked recently and, honestly, I still think about it, even though I got off lightly…’
‘Can we not talk about sex offenders over dinner,’ Dad insists.
Yes, because that’s the takeaway from that sentence.
‘Sorry,’ I say flatly.
‘Well, I think it’s a great idea,’ Ethan says firmly.
‘To be fair, EPJ, you want to marry her, so you would,’ Chester teases him.
The dinner conversation moves on from sex offenders, unsurprisingly, but all I can think about is the reaction from everyone. What planet do they live on, where they think that women don’t need to keep themselves safe? And Beau especially – I’m surprised at him. One minute he’s all about helping me follow my dreams but then he’s telling me my dreams are silly?
When dinner is over, I can’t wait to leave the table.
‘Lana, I was thinking, we could watch a movie,’ Ethan suggests. ‘Go to the kitchen, grab us some snacks, and I’ll go upstairs and get something ready.’
He’s too excited to wait for a response. He dashes off upstairs, just as Beau walks off in the other direction.
For a second, I wonder which one to follow. I’ve been trying to get Beau to like me and he seems like he might, so you would think I would want to go to his room, but then I think about how dismissive he was of my app, and how small he made me feel. Ethan, on the other hand, is like my cheerleader, and we might even be together now, if we weren’t such a car crash when we were together.
I take a deep breath as I make my decision – the only real choice – and head up to the room that I’m sharing with Ethan. He gets me, and he thinks I’m great as I am, and that’s the kind of person I should be spending time with.
Yes, Beau is an earl but, really, I’m not sure what else he has to offer apart from empty charm.
Ethan is the one for me. Tonight, I mean. Although, now that I think about it, he really does seem perfect for me. Apart from the car crash thing, of course. It’s a shame that might always get in our way.