Chapter 31
THIRTY-ONE
LITTLE MAN
B riar
The smile on my face has been there since midnight, when we welcomed our little man into the world.
He was born on April 25 th . Holden’s dad’s birthday. If that was a sign of the man he would become, it was a good one.
Hours have passed, and because he was born in the middle of the night, we’ve had the luxury of it being just the three of us. I’ve napped for 20 minutes here and there and tried to get him to latch on but mostly, I’ve been taking millions of photos. I’m soaking up this quiet time in this tiny room in our little bubble before our friends and family arrive to meet our little boy.
God, I’m exhausted but I’d rather sit here and stare at this perfect little angel. Our son. I’ve heard people say that everything changes the moment you see your baby for the first time, that the world tilts on its axis, that love takes on an entirely new meaning. I never doubted it, but I never really understood it either—until now.
Now, as I watch his tiny chest rise and fall, as I memorize the way his fingers curl instinctively when I brush his palm, I know. This love isn’t like anything else. It’s just bigger—it’s deeper, more consuming, more terrifyingly wonderful than anything I’ve ever felt.
A tear slips down my cheek before I realize it, and I let out a breathy, overwhelmed laugh.
“You okay?” Holden’s voice is gentle, warm.
I nod, shifting slightly so my son nestles closer against my chest. “Yeah. I just…” I swallow, trying to find the right words. “I get it now.”
Holden’s gaze lifts to mine, his expression softer than I’ve ever seen it. There’s something in his eyes—a quiet awe, maybe, or just the same overwhelming love that’s currently flooding every inch of my body.
“Yeah,” he murmurs, voice rough with emotion. “Me too.”
Holden is squished into the hospital bed next to me gazing down at Slugger nestled in my arms. He’s wrapped in a swaddle with little baseballs all over it, a tiny hat with a knot on the top covering his light brown hair. All 5 pounds of him. He already looks so much like Holden, it makes my heart burst. The slope of his tiny nose, the pucker of his full lips. He even has a little frown that reminds me of Holden’s expression when he’s in a deep sleep. He’s the sweetest little thing in the world.
Thankfully, he’s healthy. After being in my arms for only a minute, he was whisked away by the nurse for evaluation. She explained that she needed to check his heart rate, temperature, and breathing in case he needed additional oxygen support. Twenty minutes later he was back in my arms.
“What should we name him?” I ask, staring down at him with teary eyes .
“I thought we agreed on Slugger, but if you’ve changed your mind, now’s the time to tell me.” Holden brushes a finger over our son’s bottom lip.
“He will always be our little Slugger, but I was thinking about Hayes Holden Banks. He would have the same initials as his daddy.”
Holden wipes at his eyes like he has been all night.
“I love it.” He catches my gaze before leaning into my mouth. He kisses me soft and long, sending a shiver up my spine.
“Really, you do?” I ask when we break the kiss.
“I do. He looks like a Hayes.”
“He looks like you.” I run my fingertip over his tiny nose.
Hayes is asleep, his perfect face tranquil. Barely eight hours old and he’s already got me wrapped around his finger.
“You should sleep, baby. You know today is going to be non-stop visitors, you’re going to need to get some rest while you can.”
I know he is right. Holden had texted everyone we know about Hayes’ birth 20 minutes after he had arrived. I should close my eyes. Holden would take good care of him. He always will.
It doesn’t matter, though, because just as my eyes are fluttering closed, there is a knock on the door and Daisy and Tucker peek their heads in.
Family.
Hayes’ family.
This little boy is going to be so loved.
Holden’s family shows up soon after, his mom’s eyes full of unshed tears for her first grand baby as she peers over Hayes sleeping in his Daddy’s arms.
We’re all a mess of smiles and happy tears.
My life is beautiful.
And it’s only just begun.