25. 25 Gig
25
25 GIG
HEAD OVER FEET
“You’re chipper this evening.”
I jumped, looking up from my phone to find Dante watching me. He had an elbow rested against the bar, a glint in his eyes. A glint I did not trust. Not for one second. I stashed my phone beneath the bar and grabbed my apron.
“Take that back,” I growled as I tied it around my waist. “I haven’t been chipper a day in my life.”
Ignoring the chuckle from Dante, I grabbed my to-do list clipboard and clicked a pen open. Truth was, I probably was a little chipper. I’d spent the last two days wrapped up in Parker. We’d only left my room for necessities. Food and bathroom and, once, a phone call from Parker’s roommate demanding proof of life. We’d sent him a selfie, my lips against her cheek while she grinned, wide and unguarded.
I’d asked her to send me the pic, and she finally did, a few minutes ago. Right before Dante busted me cheesing at my phone like a goob.
Willing my face to resist another grin, I turned to Dante. “How you feeling about running the show up here tonight?”
“On a Saturday night?” He pushed away from the bar and folded his arms over his chest, dark brows furrowed. “You sure about that, boss?”
I looked him over. He’d taken to rolling the sleeves of his tee up to showcase his biceps. I couldn’t fault him. They were nice biceps, and were sure to draw attention from the right patrons. Tonight, we’d be packed with those patrons.
“Oh, yeah. All the wine moms tonight.” I scribbled a note on my list, then added, “You’re more their type than I am, and I make out pretty well on band nights. You’ll hit a gold mine.”
In the corner, Patti Mayonnaise was setting up for their show. Still the four of them. Other than the initial head-nod greeting as they filed in, I hadn’t spoken to them yet. Hadn’t spoken to Halle yet. Glancing their way now, my stomach did an elaborate gymnastics routine.
She kissed Parker.
She kissed Parker, and then Parker came straight to me.
She wasn’t you.
No, I thought, tearing my eyes away from the gorgeous drummer. No, she wasn’t. For some reason, Parker decided that was a dealbreaker. For some reason, Parker chose me.
A bolt of heat flared low in my abdomen as memories of the last two days flashed through my mind. Visions of smooth skin and dark hair, pink lips and blue eyes. Hands and mouths and touch. So much touch.
God, she was stunning. She was perfect.
She was…mine?
We hadn’t talked about what everything meant this morning before Parker left. We had done plenty else, but we didn’t talk. Now, with the object of everything Parker had previously desired breathing the same air as me, I had regrets about that.
“You good?”
I blinked and refocused on Dante. “Yeah, sorry, I’m good.” Drumming my pen on the clipboard, I exhaled a cleansing breath. Work now, I told myself. Parker later. “So. What do you say? You in?”
Dante studied me for a moment longer before nodding slowly. “If you got faith, I got faith.”
Grinning, I tucked my pen behind my ear. “I’ve got faith,” I said as I whirled around him. “Now, get to work.”
I left him at the bar to finish his opening tasks and ducked into the kitchen for a quick check-in. Kai and Artie were diligently prepping for the evening and looked to be right on track. Smiling to myself, I popped my head into the office where Vaughn was finishing up payroll before heading out for his night class.
“How’s it looking?” I asked, peering over his shoulder.
“Good.” He put his pencil down and spun the chair to face me. “Compared to this time last year, goddamn miraculous.” He grinned, brown eyes crinkling at the corners. Damn, did he look more like Dad every day.
A warm glow filled me. I leaned a shoulder on the doorway. A year ago, I was somewhere in the middle of the ocean, a hole in my chest where my heart used to be. A year ago, I was so wracked with guilt and shame that I’d convinced myself I could never come home.
Then, I broke.
I thanked whatever deity that resided in the sky every day for that breaking. Because it led me home.
Tucking those thoughts aside, I smiled at my brother. “I’m so glad,” I said, fighting off the sting behind my eyes.
Vaughn smiled back. “Me, too.”
We stayed there for a moment, letting everything that brought us here sit between us. Then I pushed away from the doorway and squeezed his shoulder. He rested his hand on mine, squeezing back. With one last smile, I left him to his work.
Out front, Patti Mayonnaise was finished setting up and had started sound check. Halle looked up and caught my eye. Smiling, she jogged across the bar.
Shit. I glanced around for something to do, some excuse to escape. I adored Halle, but recent circumstances made her the very last person I wanted to talk to right now. Recent circumstances being, you know, that we’d kissed the same girl on the same day.
I hadn’t checked in, re: Parker. I should have. A better friend would have. But I…wanted to be selfish. Just for a moment.
Or a few days.
God, I sucked.
“Hey.” Halle leaned her elbows on the bar top, dimple flashing. “How’s it going?”
“Good, good.” I retrieved my pen from where I’d tucked it behind my ear and clicked it, focusing my gaze on the to-do list in front of me and not on the pretty woman who also knew the soft of Parker’s lips. Something hot twisted in my gut. I gripped my pen tighter. “You?”
“Not great, I won’t lie.” She tucked her hair behind her ear, crinkling her nose. “Just Ryan on vocals tonight.”
“I saw that.” I rested my chin in my palm, doing an impression of casual. A bad one, at that. “No luck, huh?”
“Nope.” Halle rolled her eyes. “It’s been fucking impossible to find a replacement for Jas. We’ve got that big show at The Ledge in a few weeks. The time crunch is unreal.”
“Damn.” I glanced toward the stage, stomach fluttering. The big show at The Ledge was the kick-off event of the summer. I knew from previous conversations with the band that this was their first time being asked to perform. It was a big deal. Halle was underplaying it . “That’s too bad.”
“Truly.” She drummed her fingers on the bar, glancing over my shoulder to where Dante was busy prepping for open. I could see her thoughts shifting and swirling, but as I opened my mouth to discourage her next words, she tossed them between us. “You up for it?”
Yes.
A tremor of excitement followed the thought, and I had to clutch the clipboard so hard my fingers ached. I could almost feel the stage lights heating my skin. Nope, I thought. You have a job, and it doesn’t involve a mic in your hand . “I don’t know,” I started, the excitement wrapping itself around my refusal, intent on smothering it. “I have a lot—”
“I’m heading out,” Vaughn interrupted, popping his head in from back of house. “You all have a good night.”
I waved him off and Dante called goodbye over his shoulder, then turned back to his current task. Once Vaughn had disappeared, I faced Halle again. “Going on,” I finished, sending a silent Thank you to my brother for providing me with a moment to rescue my refusal from excitement’s clutches. “There’s a lot going on tonight.”
Her eyes were shrewd as she assessed the tableau behind me. Every position, every job, was being performed by someone who was not me. “I can see that,” she said dryly.
As if sensing I needed someone to sabotage me, Dante slid in beside me, tossing a grin at Halle. “Whatchu want, girl? Whatchu need?”
She grinned back, wiggling her brows in my direction. “I need your boss to get her juicy ass up on that stage with us tonight.”
“Is that all?” He threw his arm around my shoulder and squeezed. “I think we can spare her for ya.”
“No, Dante. I—”
“You said it yourself.” Spinning me to face him, he assessed me. “You got faith. So let that faith take your ass up on that stage.” He lifted his eyebrows as if daring me to argue, as if daring me to disagree. I opened and shut my mouth, looking from him to Halle, who was grinning even wider now.
My brain vacillated from thought to thought so fast I got dizzy. I could do it, and I knew I’d love it, being on that stage again. But wasn’t it a bad idea to dangle something so sweet right in front of me when I couldn’t have more? When it was only a teaser, a taste of what could never be mine?
Then there was the Parker of it all. I’d spent the last however long helping Parker gain confidence to woo the very woman in front of me. I’d been successful. So successful that their date ended in a kiss last night. How would Halle feel to know that Parker had ended that night in my bed?
“Halle,” I started as I tried to pin down one single thought too verbalize. “I don’t know if—”
“Is this about Parker?”
“I—” I looked from her to Dante, who let out a low whistle and backed slowly away, returning to his tasks. Facing Halle again, I shook my hair away from my face and squared my shoulders. “What about Parker?”
Her lips quirked at a corner. Climbing onto a barstool, she folded her arms in front of her. “We went out, you know.”
“Did you?” I nodded as my mind looped a conjured-up image of the two kissing. “How…how was it?”
“It was the most interesting thing,” Halle said. “We had a great time. Good food, good conversation. Then, after I kissed her goodnight, she looked me right in the eyes, and do you know what she said?”
I leaned forward, brain full of bees. And I hated myself for it. Parker already told me about their date. So why was I seeking out information from Halle? Did I hate myself that much?
Halle mirrored my body language, leaning in until we were a few inches apart. “She looked me in the eyes,” she repeated, her voice low and only for us. “And she said your name.”
The buzzing in my brain stopped. “She said what?” I whispered, heart somersaulting beneath my ribs.
“Your name.” Halle shrugged a shoulder and shook her head, bemused look on her face. “It was the funniest thing. As soon as she said it, her eyes got real big and she started apologizing like crazy.” She laughed. “I couldn’t even be insulted. She was so genuine. She—well, you know how she is—she just said sorry over and over, until I stopped her. Then, she—”
“Then, she what?” I leaned forward further, enraptured by the picture Halle was painting. Filling in the highlights and shadows that I hadn’t gotten from Parker’s word sketch of the same story.
Halle’s eyes ran over me, and she smiled. “I believe you know what happened next.” She pushed away from the bar and stood. “And don’t think for a second that I’m anything other than thrilled for the two of you. Now.” She tossed her long hair over her shoulder and cocked her hip. “You gonna get on that stage tonight, or what?”
My brain and body moved at a snail’s pace as they tried to catch up with the info dump Halle had just laid on me.
She said your name .
She said your name .
She said your name.
I grinned, heart blossoming wide open in my chest. “Okay,” I said as I untied my apron and tossed it to Dante. “I’m in.”
The grin stayed plastered to my face as Halle and I crossed the bar to join the rest of the band, as we went through sound check and reviewed the setlist. As I did my vocal warmups. And the grin was still there when we took the stage, Halle counting us in, as the opening notes of “Lovefool” surrounded me.
She said my name.