40. 40 Gigi
40
40 GIGI
NOBODY KNOWS
I didn’t know how I made it through the rest of the show. It was almost like I blinked and there I was, standing between Halle and Tommy, bowing before a roaring crowd. My bandmates were beaming. I think I was smiling, too? Honestly, I couldn’t tell.
I blinked again, and we were backstage. From a sea of smiling faces to the crashing waves of high fives and hugs and congrats from members of the other bands performing tonight. I bounced around like a tiny lifeboat in a storm, on the verge of capsizing, until Halle pulled me out.
Taking my hand, she led me to the outskirts of the group, then whirled me to face her. “You good?”
That snapped me out of it.
I grabbed her wrists, meeting her gaze with my own wild-eyed stare. “She was here. Did you see her?”
Halle frowned. “Who—”
“Parker.” I ducked out of her grasp and pushed through the crowd, heading for the hallway that led to the main floor. “She was right there. Then she wasn’t.”
“Wait, Parker’s here?” Halle followed me, nodding to the venue staff as we passed them.
“Great show,” the burly security guy said.
“You guys killed it,” someone else added.
Halle smiled her thanks. Maybe I managed a nod of acknowledgement? I’d feel bad about it later, but now…now, I had to find her. Before it was too late. Before—
“Gigi, slow down.” Halle stepped in front of me. “Did you know she was coming? Is that what her text said?”
I shook my head, peering around her to the door. “She told me to break a leg,” I said, “I didn’t know she was coming. She might not even be here anymore. She—”
“Okay.” With a glance over her shoulder, then back to me, Halle nodded. “Well, then we better find her.”
Together, we pushed through the door and into the packed club. Almost instantly, discouragement threatened to swallow me whole. There were too many people in here, too much chaos. No way were we gonna find her. If she was still here, anyway.
Fuck, she had to still be here.
Halle’s face showed none of the doubt I knew was written all over mine. Her eyes narrowed into determined slits. “Nope,” she said, loud enough to be heard over the beat of the filler music The Ledge was playing between bands. “This isn’t over.”
Her grip was tight on my wrist as she pulled me forward. “What was she wearing?”
“Cat dress,” I yelled. “Black and white.”
Halle smiled—maybe it was a laugh, but I couldn’t hear it—and nodded. “Got it.” Stopping on the outskirts of the crowd, she faced me. “We should split up. You take the left side, I’ll take the right. Meet up in the middle.”
I nodded, and something on my face must have indicated the panic in my mind, because Halle gave my shoulder a squeeze. “This isn’t the end,” she said. “Even if she’s not here, if we don’t find her, she showed up. That means something.” Her eyes skated over my face, fierce and determined. “And this right here? What you’re feeling? That means something, too.”
My lungs eased up a bit, letting me draw in a breath. She was right. This was not the end.
Not if I had anything to say about it.
“Okay,” I said. “I take left, you take right.”
We parted ways, and for the next twenty minutes, I frantically sifted through the crowd, looking for a glimpse of that dress, a flutter of the skirt or a flash of the buttons. For twenty minutes, I searched for my heart beating outside my body.
I came up empty.
Spotting Halle near the back of the crowd, I headed her way. She hadn’t found Parker, either.
“Sorry,” she said when I reached her. “No sign of kittens.”
My gut sank to the beer-sticky floor. Halle threw her arm over my shoulders and squeezed me tight. “Just means you have time to think up the perfect way to fix your fuckup.”
I ducked from under her arm and faced her. “What makes you think it was my fuckup?”
“Please,” a new voice said and we both turned to find Luke standing there. “Of course it was your fuck up, Georgia.”
I glared at him. He grinned. “Great show, by the way.”
“Thanks,” Halle said, returning his grin with a sunshine-y one of her own. “I’m Halle.”
Interest sparked in Luke’s eyes and his grin went from patronizing to charming. Before he could come in with some cringy pickup line, I stepped between them. “Gay,” I said. “Very gay.”
Behind me, Halle laughed. Luke sighed in exaggerated disappointment. I rolled my eyes. “Sorry about my friend here,” I said over my shoulder. “He’s a man.”
Halle nodded knowingly. “No further explanation needed.”
“Right?” I faced her. “But he looked so pitiful and all alone that I had to take him in, you know? Poor little guy had no one else.”
Luke folded his arms over his chest, waiting as Halle and I went back and forth for a couple more rounds. “Are you done?” he asked when we reached a lull in the jokes. “Because I’m sure in the time you spent comparing me to a stray dog, Parker has actually left the building.”
That got my attention. “Wait.” I grabbed his arm. “You saw Parker?”
“Yeah, she and her friend were with her sister.” He tilted his head upward. “On the balcony.”
“Shit, the balcony.” I looked at Halle. “We forgot about the balcony.”
Her eyes widened. Giving me a shake, she turned me toward the staircase and shoved. “Go, go, go!”
I took the stairs two at a time, lungs burning, heart racing, until I reached the top. Spotting Anya was easy enough. She was a beacon in the sea of people with her violet hair. I wove through the swaying bodies, smiling my thanks at anyone who recognized me from the show, until I broke through on the other side. Then, I slid to a stop, slamming heart sinking.
Anya and Vaughn saw me at the same time, and, judging by the looks on their faces, I was too late. Shoulders sagging, I closed the remaining space. “How long ago?” I asked when I was within hearing distance.
“Five minutes,” Anya said. “If that.”
“Shit.” I leaned over the balcony, watching the current band perform. They were an indie rock band from the Hope Falls area. In another moment, I’d have been entranced by their performance. I’d have been pulled in by the singer’s vocals, the catchy guitar riffs. Now, though? They were merely the soundtrack to my disappointment.
Anya joined me, elbows on the railing. Vaughn leaned in on my other side. They were both silent, Anya’s fingers tapping in time with the song, Vaughn’s head nodding, until the song transitioned into a new one. Then, Anya straightened.
“Walk with me,” she said, arm extended. “Talk with me.
I looked from her to Vaughn, who shrugged and went back to watching the show. Swallowing a lump of dread, I pushed away from the railing and took her arm. “Remember me fondly,” I said to Vaughn as his girlfriend led me away.
Anya pulled me through the mass of dancing bodies until we reached a quiet corner, the music a mere throb in the background. Then, she dropped my arm and cocked her hip, hand resting on it. Her green eyes pinned me in place like lasers. I swallowed and glanced around. Not a witness in sight.
“You should know,” I said, body tensing, “that I can scream really loud.”
She arched a sharp brow. “Did you do something that would warrant violence, Gigi?”
I blinked back the sudden bite of tears. Folding my arms over my chest, I nodded. “I fucked up.”
“Clearly.” Anya’s hand fell from her hip, threat neutralized. For the moment. “You hurt my kid sister, so I would be completely justified in kicking your ass right now.”
At the mention of Parker, all fight and flight left my body. Dropping my arms to my sides, I nodded. “You would be.”
“However.” She sighed, throwing her head back as if cursing some unknown entity. “Your brother asked me not to. Something about how violence isn’t the answer, and I needed to let you two sort your shit out on your own.” The tone of her voice let me know exactly what she thought of that. With a snarl, she continued. “So, instead of making you regret the day you ever laid eyes on Parker, I’m gonna communicate like a civilized human . Whatever that means.”
Despite myself, I snorted. Anya’s gaze sharpened. “Something funny about what’s going on here?”
“No.” I cleared my throat and shook my head. “Not at all.”
I meant it. The fact that Anya’s fist was being held back by the thin thread of Vaughn’s request meant that it would take next to nothing to snap. As much as I deserved it, I very much preferred to not get punched in the face by this scary Amazon woman.
She eyed me up and down and leaned her shoulder against the wall. “So, because I love your brother—and only because I love him—I’m willing to reserve judgment until we talk.”
“By judgment, you mean your fists, right?”
Her gaze flickered. I took an involuntary step back. “Now is not the time for snark, Gigi.”
“No, I know.” I put my hands up in surrender. “Just…clarifying.”
“Mm-hmm.” Somehow, she glared even harder. “Talk.”
I dragged a shaky breath into my lungs and leaned my back against the wall. Fixing my eyes on the flash of light against the opposite wall, I spoke. “The first thing you need to know is, it was never my intention to hurt her.” I glanced sideways. “I never wanted to hurt her. She’s…” I shook my head, searching for the right words. Only one came to mind. “Everything.”
My vision blurred. I blinked to clear it. Wringing my hands together, I stared at the glisten of light on my black polish. “I just…I thought it was a choice, you know? Her or the band. The band or the bar. I thought I had to choose.”
“You didn’t choose her?”
I looked at Anya as if she’d told me aliens had landed in the middle of Riverview Drive. “Of course I chose her. I would choose her over and over and over, if she’d let me.”
Realization dawned on her face. She rested her back against the wall and faced forward like me. “But she wouldn’t let you.”
“She wouldn’t let me.”
Almost in unison, we slid down the wall and sat on the floor. Silence fell over us, the muffled sound of someone covering “Everlong” providing a soundtrack to the moment. Idly, I thought about the missed opportunity of adding the song to our set. Ryan would kill it. Or maybe—
“You love her?”
I let my head drop to the side, looking at the other woman. Her eyes were already on me, scrutinizing. Assessing. I didn’t look away. Didn’t flinch as I replied: “I do.”
Anya nodded, as if she’d known the answer. “I think she loves you, too.”
My heart swelled painfully. I blinked back a fresh sting of tears, to no avail. They slid hot down my cheeks. I looked away, letting them fall. I think so, too, I thought, but didn’t dare say out loud. At least, I hope so.
We went quiet. Whether Anya was letting me get my shit together or plotting the best way to dispose of a body, I couldn’t be sure. “Everlong” morphed into a song I didn’t recognize, melancholy and dark. I closed my eyes and let the notes flow over me. As I listened, the melody took on a familiar shape. A laugh sputtered from me as the singer’s voice melted over the chorus of “I Fall to Pieces.”
I could feel Anya’s confusion as I dissolved into what could only be described as hysterics . Leaning forward, I pulled my knees up and rested my head on them, body shaking with laughter.
“I can’t tell if you’re laughing or crying,” she said, “but either way, I don’t think I’m equipped to handle this.”
Which only made me laugh harder. “Not crying,” I managed. “Just haunted.”
“Yeah, that didn’t clear anything up.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to get it together. Whether it was a sign or the universe was taunting me, I couldn’t tell. Either way, I was sure the ghosts of my cruise ship power couple were having a good laugh from the other side.
Resting my head against the wall, I let out a slow breath and wiped the tears—this time from laughter—from my eyes. “Sorry,” I said to Anya, who was still looking at me like I’d lost my mind. “Long story. I could explain if you—”
“No, no. I’m good.” She shook her head, eyes wide with horror. Her face said Please stop talking. I had to press my lips together to hold back another bout of giggles.
“I had time to think while you were having your little meltdown,” she went on when she decided the coast was clear. “And I’ve come to a conclusion.”
I straightened, all traces of laughter gone. She looked me over one last time, as if deciding if I was ready. Or worthy. Either way, I passed. “I think,” she said as she shoved away from the wall and stood. “That you’re both idiots.”
I frowned up at her. “Is that supposed to be helpful?”
She shrugged, then held out her hand to help me up. I hesitated for a moment before I took it. Once we were face to face again, she continued. “Since you’re both idiots, and it wasn’t only you fucking things up, I’m willing to help you out.”
My heart jumped, despite the fact that it had no idea where this was going. My brain reeled the excitement in. “Explain yourself.”
At this, Anya merely grinned and threw her arm over my shoulder. “Just trust me,” she said. “And thank me later.”