Chapter Twenty
T entatively opening her eyes, Tilly listened. There it was again, a quiet knock on her bedroom door.
‘Tilly, love. Are you awake?’ Elsie called quietly through the door.
Tilly carefully pushed herself to sitting, bracing herself in case the migraine was still there.
Nope. The pain had abated. She turned and looked gingerly towards the window and the sunlight flooding in around the edges of the curtains - the ultimate test. That was fine too.
She let out a relieved sigh. ‘I’m awake. ’
‘Can I come in, love?’
‘Yes.’ Scraping her hair from her face, Tilly rubbed at her eyes. She’d been crying most of the night before finally falling asleep, she didn’t dare look in the mirror as she knew her eyes would be red and puffy.
‘Oh, Tilly, love. Are you okay?’ Elsie passed her a mug before perching on the edge of the bed.
‘Thanks.’ Wrapping her hands around the mug, Tilly took a sip of the hot coffee, grateful for the spoonful of sugar Elsie had added in. ‘Not really. There’s something I left out when I told you the reason I’d come to Penworth Bay.’
‘It was because of your aunt, wasn’t it? She’d always loved this place, is that right?’ Elsie smiled kindly.
‘Yes, she had, but there’s another reason too.
I might have some family here. I think.’ Tilly looked down at the liquid in her mug.
She wasn’t sure she could cope with recounting the whole sorry mess of her search for her dad’s family.
It was too raw, and she could still feel the heaviness of tears threatening to spill. She needed to keep it together.
‘Oh, that’s exciting!’ Elsie’s eyes lit up. ‘Have you been to see them yet?’
Shaking her head, Tilly held her breath as the coffee lurched against the edges of the mug. ‘No, I don’t even know who they are. I know that sounds... odd, but my aunt didn’t really give me much information.’
‘I see.’ Crossing her arms, Elsie tilted her head, thinking. ‘I’m sure we’ll be able to locate them. The bay is pretty small, considering. What clues do you have to go on?’
‘Just a photo.’ Tilly shifted position, carefully holding the mug away from her so as not to spill the coffee inside. ‘But I don’t want to find them. Not at the moment.’
‘You don’t?’
Closing her eyes, Tilly willed herself not to cry as all the feelings from yesterday rushed through her.
When she looked at Elsie again and spoke, her voice cracked with emotion.
‘I can’t. I can’t carry on serving people, walking through the bay and wondering if they’re my family.
Worrying about what they might think of me if or when they find out. I can’t do it.’
Reaching towards her, Elsie rubbed Tilly’s forearm. ‘That’s all right, love. Ian can take over your work behind the counter, and you can come out the back and help me bake, if you like?’
‘I don’t think I can.’ Tilly felt the warmth on her cheeks as her tears began to fall. ‘I can’t.’
‘Oh, that’s okay too.’ Elsie pulled a folded white handkerchief from her cardigan pocket and passed it to Tilly. ‘Take all the time you need.’
‘Thanks.’ Taking the handkerchief, Tilly wiped her cheeks before scrunching it in her fist, the soft fabric a comfort against her skin. ‘I think I need to get away.’
Elsie slowly nodded. ‘Where will you go?’
Tilly took a long sip of her coffee, stalling for an answer.
She had no idea. Absolutely no idea. The only thing she did know was that she needed to be out of Penworth Bay, and she needed to get out quickly.
She was suffocating here, not knowing who she might or might not be related to.
Bringing the mug down, she balanced its base on her knee.
At this moment in time, she didn’t know what was worse, being completely oblivious to the fact that she might still have living relatives in the bay or knowing for sure she was on her own in this world. ‘I’ll figure something out.’
Elsie tutted softly before taking Tilly’s mug and placing it on the bedside table.
With the hot coffee out of the way, Elsie inched up the edge of the bed and drew Tilly in for a hug.
Placing her hand on Tilly’s head, she gently rocked her as she cried.
‘I know a lovely little inn up in the Cotswolds, Pennycress Inn, me and Ian visit from time to time. I’ll ring ahead and get you booked in for a while. ’
‘No, I...’
‘Shush, I won’t take no for an answer. The owners are lovely, and you’ll be doing me a favour by going there as I won’t need to worry.
You can take as long as you need and reassess.
If you feel up to coming back here, then we’ll be thrilled to have you back, and maybe me and Ian can help you look for your family. ’
Tilly knew she should refuse. She didn’t want to take charity from Elsie and Ian, but she didn’t have the energy to try to work out her next steps. She didn’t have the energy or the money. She was out of options. She took a deep, shuddering breath in and straightened her back. ‘Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome, love. As I always say, as soon as you step through our doors, you’re one of us, you’re one of my bakery family, and you always will be.
’ Standing up, Elsie turned back and looked at the hurriedly packed bin bags lying on the floor at the end of the bed before looking back at Tilly.
‘When you’re ready, come on down to the kitchen and I’ll make you some brekkie before you leave.
It’s quite a journey, and you’ll need some fuel for your body. ’
‘Thank you.’ Tilly whispered as Elsie left the room. Throwing herself back on the puffy pillows, Tilly covered her eyes with her hands. She could do this. She could leave and then decide what to do next, once she had a little breathing space.
Fresh tears began to fall as she thought about Isaac.
She needed to speak to him. She just hoped he’d understand.
She also hoped this wouldn’t be the end of what was happening between them.
Over the last few days, her feelings for him had steadily grown.
She was falling for him, and fast. Pushing herself once again to a sitting position, Tilly grabbed her mobile from its place next to her coffee.
Scrolling through, she found Isaac’s name and hit the Call button. Please understand, Isaac. Please understand.
As the trill of the rings continued to fill her ear, Tilly held her breath.
Finally, when the voicemail clicked in, she waited until the beep before forcing herself to speak.
‘Isaac, it’s me, Tilly. I... I didn’t want to say this as a message, but I need to tell you something.
I’m going away for a bit. I just can’t be here in the bay for a moment longer. ’
She paused as the words caught in her throat.
Was she doing the right thing by leaving a message?
It was cruel and unkind to say such a thing over the phone, let alone to leave it as a message.
But what other choice did she have? ‘I don’t want this to be the end of what we have together.
I’m falling for you and can’t imagine you not being in my life. ’
A gurgling sob escaped her lips. Did he even feel the same way? ‘Please.’
Ending the call, she lay back on the bed and sobbed.