3. Brody
Ihung up my duty belt before dropping onto the seat behind my desk in the Douglas County Sheriff’s Office.
“What the hell climbed up your ass?” My partner and friend Holden sauntered over to the coffee station and poured himself a cup, then held the pot up to me with his eyebrows raised in question.
I shook my head, and he put it down, then turned to face me. He leaned against the desk and took a sip from his favorite chipped mug. “So?”
I ran my hand through my hair and breathed out heavily. “Caught up with Skye and Ivy last night.”
A smirk flitted across his lips. “How did that go? Did you swallow your jealousy so you could be her wingman and send the woman you love home with some other asshole again?”
I glared at him, but he just grinned, his chocolate-brown eyes sparkling.
“First of all, I’m not in love with her.”
Holden’s dark brows almost disappeared into his hairline.
“I’m not in love with her,” I clarified. “I love her, obviously. She’s been my best friend since I was eleven. Did I used to think about exploring something more than friendship with her? Yes. But that was a long time ago.”
“Mm-hmm.” Holden was clearly unconvinced. “So, if it wasn’t about your deeply seated pain at having to see Skye go home with a man who wasn’t you, then what about last night has you so uncharacteristically pensive?”
I opened my mouth to respond, then realized I’d talked myself into a corner. Attempting nonchalance, I cleared my throat. “She was talking about trying out a serious relationship.”
Holden choked on his coffee. He wiped the back of his hand over his mouth. “With you?”
“What? No. With someone else.” Did I growl those last few words? I hid a frown as I crossed my arms over my chest.
“Who? Anyone you know?” Holden asked.
“She hasn’t met him yet. She was just saying maybe it’s time now that she’s almost twenty-five.”
“And how does that make you feel?”
I wadded up a piece of paper and chucked it at him. “What are you, a fucking psychologist?”
He grinned and sat in his chair, facing me. “Fine. But you can’t tell me you don’t have any thoughts on that. Even if you’re not interested in her that way anymore—and I’m reserving judgment on the truth of that statement—her being in a committed relationship is going to change things for you two.”
He was right. And as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I hated the thought of Skye spending all her time with another man. I may have given up on anything between us years ago, but I wasn’t exactly comfortable with the prospect of some other guy monopolizing her every spare moment.
“Just let that idea percolate for a while.” Holden’s smile was a little too smug for my liking. But I wouldn’t bother calling him out on it. He knew me too damn well.
We finished the rest of our shift at our desks, and thankfully, Holden didn’t bring up Skye again. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t still thinking about her. Thoughts of that day nine years ago swirled in my mind, when I’d been so sure of how things would go between us, only for my hopes to be shot down. I’d waited for her to change her mind about dating again. But she’d remained adamant. I’d debated telling her how I felt anyway, but never worked up the nerve. Too worried that if she was truly serious about her no commitment plan and rejected me, it would ruin our friendship. I wasn’t prepared to risk that.
Occasionally, over the years, I’d gotten the urge to try again with her. But something always derailed my plans. And after her mom passed away when she was twenty, leaving her with no family at all, she’d relied even more on my friendship.
That was when I’d let the idea go for good. She needed me as a friend, nothing else. At least, that’s what I’d told myself. But had I really let it go? Because I’d followed her lead and never gotten seriously involved with anyone. I’d made up a lame excuseabout my job to justify taking my hookups to towns outside of Tahoe. When really, it had been because I didn’t want to bump into any of the women I slept with afterward. And I didn’t want anyone trying to pursue something more with me. Letting them know in advance that I wasn’t local usually did the trick. It might make me an asshole, but I didn’t want my physical needs to interfere with the relationships that meant something to me.
Mainly the one I had with Skye.
And then there was the drunken memory I had of making a wish at The Silver Lining during last year’s New Year’s Eve celebration. Skye had split her time between the dance floor and drinking with me and Ivy that night. But at midnight, just as the countdown ended, some guy she’d danced with a few times claimed her very first kiss of the new year.
And for some reason that I hadn’t let myself think too hard about at the time, I’d slipped a dollar bill from my wallet and asked one of the bartenders for a pen. I only had a vague recollection now of what I’d written, but I think it was something along the lines of wanting Skye to be mine. The next morning, I’d convinced myself it was the result of too much alcohol and pushed it from my mind.
But what she’d said last night about wanting to have a relationship had sent my pulse racing. I’d immediately been transported back to being seventeen again, wanting and wondering—almost fucking breathless with thoughts of what might be.
So yeah, if I was going to be completely honest with myself, I’d never let go of my feelings for Skye.
The question was, what was I going to do about it?