Chapter Thirty
Katherine paced her apartment, trying not to think about how she’d ruined everything.
But she had, hadn’t she?
She’d done a couple healing spells to take care of the worst of her injuries, but she’d run out of the rune before she could fully heal herself, and she couldn’t face going to Sunspot to replenish it.
Her knuckles were still raw from slamming into Byron’s face.
Her throat scratchy from screaming at him.
Her whole body throbbing from the hits she’d taken—hits she’d given right back.
And he hadn’t even killed Lily.
It didn’t matter that he’d admitted to making altum. That didn’t make her feel any better about the dead girl in a bathroom, the girl who had snapped without any of the magical drug in her veins.
Katherine slammed her fist against the wall, the pain splintering through her aching hand.
She wondered when the consequences would come.
It’d be Fiona, or Henry, or god, even Sylvia, knocking on her door to say they were taking away her job, since Byron’s complaint would result in an immediate suspension, even with his confession about the altum.
There were procedures for a reason. Rules Katherine was expected to follow.
They’d call a special meeting for it. There would be no letting her out on bail, no waiting until the next scheduled meeting to bring her to trial. She wondered how far her sentence would go. She’d lose her title forever. Maybe her magic too.
It meant nothing to her, anyway. All that mattered was Aestas—her family. And she had no chance of keeping that.
There was a knock at the door.
Katherine ran her hands through the tangled knots of her hair. There was nothing for it—she was going into her final moments as Aestas’ Executrix looking like a drowned rat.
She marched to the door, determined not to cry. Tears could come later, when it was all done.
But when she pulled it open, it wasn’t Sylvia or a squad of witches with pitchforks waiting for her.
It was Silas.
“Hi,” he said, his tall frame filling her doorway as he leaned against it. The breath whooshed out of her, relief popping like a bubble in her chest.
“Hi.”
Silas didn’t wait for her permission to enter.
He simply did, as he simply did everything.
There was something off about his usual polished appearance, though.
He was still covered in a thin layer of dust and soot from the fire, and she wondered what he’d been doing that hadn’t allowed him time to shower.
She searched him for injuries, for something to explain the pain that radiated off him like a beacon, but all she could find was a faint patch of red on his cheek.
He paced, trailing the same path Katherine had just been following, rubbing his thumbs along the palms of his hands over and over again.
Like he’d just used those hands to do something he regretted.
“Silas—” Katherine started, but he whirled, and the sudden force of his whole focus stunned her into silence.
He stared at her, as if he was only now taking her in.
The developing bruise on her jaw. The pair of cuts on her cheek.
The tilt of her stand, her body’s failing attempt to alleviate some of the pain in her aching ribs. His growl was almost feral.
“Those aren’t from the fire.”
Katherine shook her head.
“Who, then?”
Katherine bristled. He’d burst into her apartment with this macho attitude to—what? Tell her she couldn’t do her job?
“None of your business.”
Silas stood still. His brown eyes swept from Katherine’s feet to the top of her head, as if cataloging that she was all there. Present and accounted for, Katherine thought. And even if she wasn’t … well, would anyone care, at this point?
“Who am I kidding?” Silas muttered, almost as if he was talking to himself. “You don’t need anyone to protect you. Especially not me.”
Especially not me lingered, ringing in her ears. Another bit of wrongness. She wanted to reach for him. Pick up the pieces and put them back in order, until he was Silas again. She didn’t know why. She didn’t even like Silas.
Didn’t she?
Cheez-It chose that auspicious moment to emerge from the bedroom, his loud meow splitting the tension in the room in half.
He walked to Silas immediately, doing figure eights between his legs until Silas bent down to pet his orange fluff.
He found Cheezy’s favorite spot, right behind the ears, and he continued to scratch as his eyes searched the ground, like it might have an answer to a question he couldn’t manage to ask.
He looked so lost.
We could be lost together.
The thought popped into Katherine’s mind unbidden, a temptation from another life. One where she could have sat down and been honest with him, unburdened her guilt about Lily and Byron and every damn thing she’d done wrong in her wretched existence.
But this was not that life, and she was not that girl.
She cleared her throat. “Silas. Can you tell me why you’re here?”
Silas looked up at her, his eyes shuttered.
Like he’d forgotten she was there. “I…” he started, then paused, standing up and starting to pace again.
Cheez-It followed him back and forth across the room, reaching his paw out for Silas’ leg, angling for more pets and not getting them.
Eventually, he gave up, flouncing to the windowsill.
“Those things you said about me outside the hotel—”
“Silas, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“Yes, you did.” Silas stopped pacing directly in front of her, his eyes boring into her. “You did, because they’re true. I have no idea who I am.”
“Join the club.”
Silas shook his head emphatically, a lock of black hair shaking away from the rest and falling into his face. “You know exactly who you are.” Katherine opened her mouth to contradict him, but he plowed on. “You’re someone who fights for what you care about. Your coven. Sylvia. Fiona. Lily.”
Katherine’s heart slammed so hard into her rib cage she thought it might crack.
“Everything you do is for them. Everything. You’re trying to change the world for the better. I’m just a cog in a corporate takeover.”
There was a flash of anger at the official confirmation of why Silas was really in Los Angeles, but it didn’t last. She’d known from the beginning what he was doing. She was far too tired to be angry at him for finally being honest.
Instead, she huffed a laugh. “Ever heard of free will?” she said. “You could stop anytime, Silas.”
“I was trying to,” he said, the frustration clear as he turned away and started pacing around the room. “God, was I trying to. I was trying to find a way to maintain the small shred of integrity I have left, and I failed.”
She sighed. They were the same—both coming at things with good intentions that were crushed to nothing by the relentlessness of the world. “Well, we can flunk out of school together, I guess.”
Silas stopped, pinning her still with a searing gaze.
“Katherine, you couldn’t fail to save your life.”
Katherine’s heart stopped as Silas’ face changed, his eyes running over her now in a different way, leaving pinpricks of heat in their wake.
“Why are you here?” Katherine repeated.
“I don’t know.” Silas took a step closer, his hand lifting to her face and running featherlight over the bruise on her jaw. This close, he towered over her. She craned her head back to meet his steady gaze.
“Why aren’t you telling me to leave?” he asked.
“I don’t know.”
His hand moved, cupping the back of her neck.
Their first kiss was light. Just a brushing of mouths. Katherine wasn’t sure who initiated it—they simply followed the pull between them until their lips met in the middle. An inevitable conclusion.
Their second kiss was not light. Their second kiss was his tongue sweeping into her mouth, her nails digging into his hair, his teeth biting her lip.
Their third kiss blended into their fourth, fifth, sixth, until Katherine’s body was a ball of want so tight she thought she might burst.
“Silas.” His name was a plea, his mouth doing something to her neck and collarbone that made Katherine willing to break down and beg.
His hands slid under her tank top, then yanked it over her head.
She attacked the buttons on his shirt, then ran her hands over the hard panes of his chest. Their tryst in the alleyway had been too frenzied for her to get the full feel of him.
Now, she luxuriated in the hardness of his muscles, the way his abs moved beneath her fingers with his ragged breaths as he took her in.
He lifted her and carried her to the small table by her front door. She reached behind her, sweeping her keys onto the floor with a loud clatter as he sat her down.
He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth as his hands slipped into her sweats.
She angled her hips up, letting him pull them down.
As soon as that barrier was gone, he pushed her knees apart, then stepped in to fill the space.
Katherine moaned as he thrust up against her, the evidence of his need clear through his pants.
Silas ran his fingers up her leg, toying with the band of her underwear. “Can I—”
“Yes. Please, god, yes.”
Silas’ eyes lowered, both of their gazes following as he pulled her underwear off and snaked his fingers between her legs.
His thumb ghosted over her clit, a barely there brush that made her shiver with anticipation.
She angled her hips up, chasing his touch.
Chasing the way her anxieties disappeared when his hands were on her.
Except he took his hands away. Katherine actually whimpered—until he knelt down in front of her and put his tongue between her legs.