Chapter 45
Chapter Forty-Five
THEO
Icouldn’t believe what Rue had said. I heard scurrying nearby but would not let it distract me.
‘You mean if I wasn’t the Witchfinder’s son.’ It was the truth. ‘Regardless of everything I’ve done to prove you can trust me?’
I would never trust another woman after what Rue had put me through. If this is how being in love with a woman felt, then I wanted none of it. It wasn’t worth the pain and emotional turmoil I had experienced.
Clouds passed in front of the moon so that the moonlight fell on her face in shards. I was surprised to see that unshed tears glistened in the soft pearl light. Was she only saying these things because she felt it was the right thing to do? Did I dare hope that was the case?
I softened my gaze to hide the depth of my pain, the depth of my longing. It was one thing not wanting her to fear me, but for the woman I loved to be kept from me because of our way of life was almost unbearable.
Mistaking my reaction for confusion, she shrugged. ‘Well, yes. Wouldn’t you be the same if you were me and the one fighting to save her life?’
‘Things aren’t that bad,’ I argued, though we both knew how my father’s obsessions could ruin people’s lives. ‘I would have listened if you had come to me and confided in me about being a witch.’
She studied my face, looking as though she wanted to believe me but didn’t dare to. ‘Are you certain about that, Theo? Regardless of what you might wish to happen, we both know you have your loyalties, as I do to my own family.’
It was true, but I wasn’t going to accept her insinuating that those loyalties would force me to stand back while an injustice was carried out.
‘Even if that is so,’ I said, keeping my voice low, ‘we have each stood up to our parents, regardless of our love and connection to them.’ She didn’t seem to grasp what I meant. ‘Look at your father’s visit.’
There was more rustling nearby. I tensed, raising my finger to my lips. It happened again. I pulled Rue into my arms and held her against me as I shifted back against the tree, shielding her body with my own so she could not be seen.
Hearing Garnier’s voice, I cringed. Damn the man. I peered round the tree to see him looking in my direction.
‘Were you speaking to someone?’ he asked looking past me.
I let go of Rue, moving her gently to the side of the tree furthest from his vantage point, and stepped out of the shadows to address him.
‘Only myself.’ I laughed. ‘And a fieldmouse that ran over my boot a moment ago.’
He raised his eyebrows. ‘I didn’t take you to be someone frightened of mice.’
‘Yes, well, it caught me by surprise.’ I wished the man would leave and give me a chance to bid farewell to Rue.
‘We’re returning to the town now,’ he continued. ‘Will you be joining us, or do you want to keep searching?’
I rubbed my face to make him think I was weary from looking, then groaned.
‘I’ll just have one last look around here then I’ll follow you back.
I think I know where you left Warrior.’ The truth was I had little idea, but Warrior was a well-trained horse and knew how to find me when I whistled for him.
‘I shall leave you then. I want to follow your father and the others to the jail. My cousin, if you recall…’
Remembering his mortification at discovering his cousin was one of the witches, I gave a sympathetic nod. ‘I understand,’ I said, relieved that he didn’t want to wait for me. ‘I’ll see you later.’
As soon as I could no longer hear his footsteps or the vegetation moving as he passed through it, I stepped back behind the tree to Rue. I couldn’t see her straight away, but then her fingers curled around my hand. My heart lurched at her touch.
‘I know I need to go,’ she whispered. ‘I’ve been thinking about my father, and how you went out of your way to bring him to me.’
It felt good not hearing anger in her voice.
‘I understand how difficult it must have been for you after all those years, but at least now you each have a clearer understanding of what the other has gone through.’ I thought of her father’s shock at learning that the money he had sent to Ophelia and Rue had not reached them.
Rue now knew he had not simply left them to fend for themselves.
He cared. It was the one thing all children needed from their parents.
Her eyes welled up. I wanted to pull her into my arms, but hesitated.
She saw I was battling with myself. ‘Don’t.’
‘What?’
‘I think you should let me go now.’
I was confused by her reaction. ‘Rue, surely you know I would never hurt you.’
She stared at me, her eyes filled with sadness. ‘I want to believe more than anything else that you would never deliberately do anything to hurt me, Theo.’ She looked away from me then into my eyes again.
‘Then what’s wrong?’ What had I done to cause this reaction?
She sighed. ‘I’m frightened in case I trust you and you let me down.’
Her words were like a dagger to my heart.
How could she be frightened of me? I stared at her.
Unable to find the words, I pulled her into my arms and held her against me.
She tensed and I was about to let go when she relaxed, slid her arms around my back and lay her head upon my chest. It felt so right, our bodies pressed against each other.
I kissed the top of her head and closed my eyes, happy that she didn’t fear me.
Could there be anything worse than the woman you loved above all others being frightened of you?
I thought of her father disappearing when she needed him most and felt an urge to reassure her. ‘I’m not your father. I will always be here for you, even if we can’t be together romantically,’ I murmured into her rosemary-scented hair.
‘I know that really, Theo,’ she said quietly, the heat of her breath warming my chest through the shirt under my open jacket. ‘I’m sorry I lied about being a witch.’
I held her a little tighter hoping to reassure her of my protection.
‘It’s not that you kept your true self from me, Rue,’ I said.
I realised that now the shock of her being a witch had begun to subside, I meant what I was saying.
‘Even with all the obstacles we both face, the thing that upsets me most is you being afraid of me.’
Her arms tightened around me and she kissed my shirt. A rush of heat raced through me. My breath hitched in my throat. I closed my eyes. I was desperate to kiss her lips but daren’t.
I sensed her watching me and looked down directly into her beautiful eyes. Was it far-fetched to hope she wanted the same thing from me?
Unable to help myself, I asked her. ‘Would you mind very much if I kissed you?’
Instead of being shocked, she gave me a ravishing smile. ‘I would like that. Very much.’
Happy to have her trust once more and impatient to feel her lips against mine, I lowered my head until our mouths met in the most exquisite kiss I had ever experienced.
Her lips, although initially unsure, soon responded to mine.
I wondered if I was the first man Rue had kissed.
Even if I wasn’t, this moment was everything to me.
I lost myself in her, oblivious to time passing.
It was only when I heard my father’s voice nearby that I forced myself to pull away, leaving her slightly breathless and more beautiful in the moonlight than ever before.
‘Is something wrong?’ she asked, her voice timid.
Terrified he might hear her, I covered Rue’s perfect mouth with my hand, the heat from her lips sending intense sensations through me once again. Hadn’t she heard his voice?
‘My father is coming this way.’ I lowered my hand.
‘Wait for me to distract him,’ I whispered, unable to repress the smile that seemed determined to appear on my face despite the danger we were in.
‘Then go, as quickly as you can.’ I kissed the tip of her nose lightly.
‘I don’t think he’ll take kindly to finding us in each other’s arms.’
She took my hand in hers, raised it to her mouth and kissed my palm, then, after smoothing down her skirt and running her fingers through her hair, she touched her lips with the tips of her fingers and smiled up at me through her lashes. ‘That was nice,’ she said coyly.
There was a softness to her I hadn’t expected.
The Rue I had known up to this point was tough, determined to do everything for herself, a fighter.
The woman looking at me now was gentle and more beautiful than anyone I had ever seen before.
I wished my father would disappear and Rue and I would be left alone together.
I wanted to stay with her, to kiss her again, but I knew there was no time.
I nodded. ‘It was perfect.’
She gave me a quick smile then turned and ran into the dense woodland.
I watched her until I could no longer see her. Then, having listened for her footsteps and heard nothing, I felt confident enough to go and find my father.
‘Theo, are you there?’
‘Yes, Father. I’m coming.’
Rue and I were back to being the witch and the Witchfinder’s assistant, but we could be so much more than that to each other, if only I could find a way to make a match between us work. My heart ached at the loss of the intimacy we had just shared.
I thought of her running away – this time happily and still feeling the pressure of my lips upon hers – and knew I had done the only thing possible if I wanted to keep the woman I loved alive.
Even if she is a witch, I thought, desperate to find a way to navigate our differences so we could be together once and for all.