Chapter 8
We slept for four hours, a pretty good number, but I still felt hungover when I woke up.
My mouth was dry, my eyes were crusty, and I was barely hanging on to the edge of the bed.
Gumbo had the rest of it, where he was sprawled lengthwise, flat on his back with all four paws akimbo.
I gave his belly a quick scratch, then headed for the bathroom to clean up.
I took an extra-long shower, using the time to parse my new knowledge of Cupid.
He reminded me of Brianne’s brother-in-law, Ezekiel: all polish on the surface, but calculating underneath.
And, ultimately, driven by carnal urges rather than logic or consideration of others.
I hated to admit it, but I didn’t blame Psyche for leaving.
At least we’d found ways to put Ezekiel on a leash.
I’d just stepped out of the shower when I heard a knock on the front door.
Gumbo was gone. My pulse started racing with the ridiculous notion that I’d somehow accidentally lured the vamp to my doorstep.
I threw on a robe, rushing into the kitchen to swipe some garlic out of one of the veggie baskets.
Shoving it into my pocket, I flung open the door.
Ethan looked up when the door opened, fiddling with the edges of his probably-designer tie, his briefcase by his feet. “You’re wet.”
“I am.” We stood silent, staring at each other with our super fun new awkward demeanors. My hair trailed water down my back. More water pooled at my feet. “Um, did we have an appointment?”
“Huh? Oh, no. I had something I wanted to discuss with you. Can I …?” He gestured toward the inside of the house.
“Yeah, of course. Sorry.” I stood aside to let him in.
As he stepped past, his nostrils flared. He glanced at the garlic in my hand. “Were you cooking?”
“I thought you were a vampire.” Leaving that as the only explanation, I rushed to the kitchen to return the veggie, thinking I should get a doorbell camera or some similar magical apparatus to keep this from happening.
“I’m just gonna change,” I called out and scurried to my bedroom.
When I returned with actual clothes on, Ethan was sitting comfortably at my small dining table. The remnants of a blueberry muffin littered a napkin in front of him. A second one was on the opposite side, a reminder that I hadn’t eaten since the night before.
“So.” I sat in front of the muffin, breaking off a piece and crumbling it between my fingers. “What brings you to my doorstep on a Thursday afternoon?”
He stood up to pace, a habit I was now so familiar with that it simply amused me.
When Ethan was restless, thinking, or the least bit uncomfortable, the man could wear a hole in your floor.
My stomach growled at him. Okay, maybe not at him, but at me.
Ethan showed no signs of being ready to talk.
He was muttering something under his breath, glaring at the floor while he walked in a tight circle.
It seemed like we were going to be here for a while, so I dug into the muffin.
That was when he stopped and turned to face me.
“I came by to ask you on a date.”
I coughed and sputtered, food ejecting itself from my mouth as if trying to retreat from this embarrassing situation. Damn it, could I never be cool? He sat opposite me, waiting while I recovered. I blinked at him.
“Huh?” So much for recovering.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said all week, about your client.” He paused to look around, as if we would suddenly be in a room full of people who might overhear.
“Yes,” I managed. “The Cupid … dilemma. I’m working on it.”
“I’m sure you are.” There was a sweet sheen of pride in his eyes. “But it got me thinking. Do you remember a few months ago, when the weather was going haywire and my shifts were malfunctioning?”
“I do.” My cheeks began to burn. I knew exactly where this was headed. I’d called an emergency board meeting, not knowing at the time that it would force Ethan to leave work and attend. He attended, all right. In the form of a wolf. “You would phase in but couldn’t phase out, right?”
“Right.” He slid his hand across the table to toy with my fingers. “Do you remember what you said that fixed it?”
“Oh, I said a lot of wild stuff back then.” I extricated my hand so I could brush crumbs off the table and scoop them onto a plate.
Then I wiped invisible stains with a napkin.
I was not prepared for this conversation, and I suddenly had even more sympathy for the position I’d put Ray in the night before.
“Simone.” His voice was soft but firm. The no-nonsense, lawyerly Ethan who wouldn’t tolerate bullshit.
And he was right. We were past that. If I was truly ready to date, and the only thing holding me back was a supernatural sex wall, then I should be brave enough to be honest. With Ethan and myself.
“I said that I thought I was developing feelings for you. But I wasn’t ready at the time to face that.” I held his gaze. “If you’re wondering, I’m ready now.”
A hint of a smile lifted the corners of his mouth. Just a slight twitch, as if he were only a little happy to hear that.
“I’d been thinking about you too,” he finally said, and I let loose the breath I’d been holding. Could he hear it? The way my heart was pounding? “After the hurricane—”
“Boobicane,” I broke in. That time, his mouth lifted into a full smile.
“After the boobicane, I thought about you a lot. We’re so different from who we were back then.” He grabbed my hand again, his deep brown eyes full of admiration. “We didn’t have chemistry in high school, did we?”
“Nope.” A small chuckle escaped me. “We were great friends, Ethan, but I never saw you that way.”
“Same.” His shoulders dropped a little, as if he’d been holding onto guilt for thirty years. “I was worried I’d missed some signs.”
“There were no signs,” I said. “And you’re right. We’ve both changed.”
“So it’s not based on the past?” He stood to pace again, and I suddenly understood the question he was afraid to ask. A small oh escaped my lips.
“Ethan, are you concerned that we have feelings for each other based on who we were thirty years ago? Like an unfulfilled high school fantasy?”
“Maybe. Yeah. Well, I was worried about that.” He stopped pacing, looked me up and down, then nodded his head. “Until I was suddenly not worried about you at all. It was like a wall went around me.”
“The Cupid effect.” I had to laugh.
“The Cupid effect,” he said. “I figured we should use it to our advantage. Let’s have a night out. Away from the Magnolia. To see if these … new feelings … have legs.”
I couldn’t help but clock the irony. Ethan was using the same logic to ask me out that had prompted me to ask out Ray. But I couldn’t date either of them without being honest with both of them. If I was being honest, I had to be all the way honest. No matter what it cost me.
“You know the part you said about worrying that our new feelings might be based on past versions of us?” At the shift in my tone, Ethan sat at the table again. “I have that same worry, Ethan. Not about you, though.”
He leaned back, so casually it looked rehearsed, and moved his hands in a “go on” gesture.
“Ever since I found out he was back home, I’ve had a residual attraction to Ray. Well, I’m not sure if it's residual Ray or today Ray that’s got my stomach flipped.” I gnawed on the inside of my mouth, watching his lips firm and his body tense. “That’s why I asked him out.”
“You’re going on a date with Ray.” It was a question, but he’d said it like a statement. A part of me deflated, and the air between us felt flat and raw.
“I’m actually not sure about the date part.
We’re having lunch on Sunday. In Illusion Square.
Even though you and Ray have both experienced this, let’s say, barricade around me, I haven’t had one toward either of you.
” It was my turn to lean back. I picked at my nails and dropped my head to stare at my lap.
“I’ve been drawn to both of you since the moment I returned. It’s kind of driving me crazy.”
Ethan didn’t say anything for a long time, and I was too nervous to look at him.
I resolved to make sure I explained this to Ray when we got together as well.
It was only fair not to play the two of them against each other, especially given their history.
But now that it was out in the open, I had an overwhelming urge to take it back.
What if I’d lost the chance to explore these dual feelings just by admitting to them?
“Then you should go on a date with me, too.” My head shot up to find Ethan’s eyes boring into me.
But his smile had returned, and the look he gave me rang with understanding.
This was the steady Ethan I knew and respected, the friend side I never wanted to lose.
“My offer still stands. Let’s have dinner tomorrow night. ”
“Aren’t you supposed to ask me no later than Wednesday for a Friday night date? I’m pretty sure that’s a rule.”
“Then consider me a rule breaker.” He leaned forward, propping his elbows on the table. “If you need to date us both, then date us both. But I want to go first.”
My heart was doing triple beats in my chest. Little stutters that made me feel like I was about to run a marathon. With a bear chasing me. On fire. I met his smile. “Okay, then.”
I walked him to the door, wondering after he left how I’d gone from a complete hiatus to having two dates in one weekend. And though nerves threatened to take over my body and make me fidget, I held myself steady. At least I had the supernatural sex wall to keep things in check.
No matter what, I respected both men. Quite a bit. And they were integral to the Magnolia. So I’d have to be careful and honest. But as I watched Ethan round the corner after offering me a final wave goodbye, a realization stopped me in my tracks.
Why had I considered this an opportunity to date Ray, but not Ethan?