Chapter 25
Ethan was sitting there, alone, with a bag lunch. Never in my life would I have pictured him eating a bag lunch. Especially at that bench, where I’d shed a thousand tears and had a million memories.
I didn’t like the idea of watching him without his knowledge, so I turned my back. But the image lingered, in a way that was both reminiscent and foreign. Poor Ethan was just innocently eating a sloppily made sandwich on an old park bench, not even aware that he’d sparked something inside me.
It felt wrong for him to be there, like he was an invasive species commandeering a place I called home. I sat up straight at my desk. It was home, that bench. Because it was mine and always had been. And I realized that I knew much more about what I didn’t want than I’d admitted to myself.
“Cecelia, can you send me to the bench?” There was a gust of wind swirling around me, and then I disappeared from my office and landed in front of Ethan. He about jumped out of his socks, fumbling with his sandwich. He bobbled it between both hands before managing to catch it with a smoosh.
“Hiya.” I gave him an awkward little wave, wincing at his crushed sammy.
“I wasn’t expecting you.” He rotated his lunch in his hands, looking for a way to save it.
“Why would you be? Sorry about that.” I played with my fingers. “Can I buy you lunch at Bridge House?”
“Don’t sweat it. I was almost done.” With a good-natured sigh, he tossed what was left of the crumpled bread into the water, where Norbert waited.
“Thanks,” Norbert said, snapping his jaws shut with a heavy chomp. “Hey, Simone.”
“What’s up, Norby?” I watched his tail cut a trail through the water as he meandered to his next resting spot. “We live in such a weird town.”
“What’s weird about a talking alligator patiently waiting for food scraps?” Ethan patted the space beside him with a wink. “Have a seat.”
“Not a thing.” I took the spot, lifting my face to the sun and closing my eyes. “I didn’t know you came out here.”
“I don’t often.” His breath came out in an uneven shake. “But today it seemed like a good place to be alone with my thoughts.”
“Aww, and I ruined that.” I turned to face him, wishing I hadn’t made such an impulsive decision. “I can leave if you’d like. I just saw you out here and thought Hey, there’s Ethan. We should talk.”
“No, it’s fine. Stay. See?” He gestured toward the ground. “No briefcase. No court. I’ve got time.”
“Good.” I relaxed again. “So that fight the other day was a doozie, huh?”
“Yeah.” Ethan rubbed his jaw, knuckling a scratch I hadn’t noticed before. “You could call it that.”
“Did you two … resolve anything?”
“We didn’t kill each other. That’s something.”
“I suppose it is.” He didn’t say more, and I didn’t want to probe. I’d said I wouldn’t be in between the two of them any longer, and I’d meant it.
Silence settled between us, comfortable and ordinary. Things were always comfortable with Ethan. Well, when we weren’t on a date. As nice as it was, though, I couldn’t neglect this opportunity for us to clear the air.
“You know, in high school, this was my go-to spot for a good think. Since I’ve come back, I’ve been here a handful of times. I told Gabe I was a witch out here, and I ended one of my trials here.” I let out a self-deprecating giggle. “It’s a good spot for a lot of things, apparently.”
The offhand comment caused a rush of heat in my chest, reminding me that Ray and I had our own special memories of this bench. Thankfully, Ethan was gentleman enough not to mention that.
“I came back here, you know. To find you.” The change in his voice drew my head around. Ethan always looked serious. It was his default. It was rare to see him somber, though. “After the big fight at the track. Ray ran off. Lauren ran off. I came here.”
I sat there dumbfounded, soaking in this new piece of information. I’d never questioned how Lauren knew about Ray or me. Or how she found him here while I was at the track with Ethan. I hadn’t really thought about it because I’d hexed myself that very day.
Before everyone found out about us, Ray and I had treated the island like our own private bubble. We thought no one knew about us. Apparently, we’d been wrong. “I guess Ray and I weren’t as stealthy as we thought.”
Ethan chuckled. “Lauren told me. I don’t know how she found out, but she always had her way when she wanted to know something.”
“Boy, did she.” I laughed along with him. I wasn’t going to ask Lauren about that day. She and I had long since made peace with it.
It was past time Ethan and I did the same.
“I am sorry, you know. That you got caught in the middle of Ray and me. That wasn’t fair to you.
” I took his hand and squeezed it. “I knew Ray was angry with you. And I knew how hurt you were about it. But I kept my friendship with you as much a secret as my relationship with him. I don’t know why. ”
“Probably because you had pain of your own to contend with. You were grasping at any straw of happiness you could find. I never blamed you.” A breeze swirled around us, picking up my hair and slapping me in the face with it.
Ethan tucked it behind my ears. It wasn’t a sexy gesture.
It was Ethan doing what he’d always done: trying to take care of me.
“Why did you come here?” I asked. “I mean back then. Why come to find me?”
Ethan started to rise, probably to pace. But he thought better of it and angled toward me instead, his lips lifting into a sad smile. “I have this image of you that morning on the track. It’s from the split second before Ray attacked me. Do you remember?”
“I do,” I said. “We’d just finished our run and were sitting on the bleachers laughing because I’d beat you. Again.”
“Cheater,” he whispered. “Using your magic.”
“Not on purpose.” I jabbed my finger at him and grinned. “I was getting up to stretch, and I saw Lauren walking up. With Ray.”
“That’s the moment,” Ethan said. “You knew, probably before I did, that everything was about to go down. You turned to me and apologized.” He sighed, rose, and stalked back and forth in front of me.
“I’d started to cry. The minute they came into view, I lost it. I couldn’t stop myself.”
“You looked devastated. At the time, I’d never seen anyone look like that. Like their world was shattered.”
“In my defense, it was.” I shook my head. “Well, as much as it can be at eighteen.”
“The worst part wasn’t the sadness. The worst part was how defeated you looked.
I didn’t want that to be the last image of you I held.
” Ethan sat down again, this time taking my hand.
“But it was. I carried it for thirty years. I want you to know that I thought about looking you up a hundred times.”
“I wish I’d thought about you. I mean, I wish you hadn’t been swept up in my stupid hex.
” It made me wonder, though I wouldn’t say it out loud, what would have happened if I’d run into him sooner.
Would I have broken the curse sooner? Or did it have to happen when I was at rock bottom?
I slumped a little, then immediately sat up as another, worse, realization hit me.
“Oh God, I just realized when you finally did look me up, I must have had the same damn look.”
“Oh, no. You looked way more terrible the second time.” Ethan dropped his head back and laughed, and despite my utter humiliation, I joined him.
But when his eyes landed on me again, they were filled with compassion.
“I really hated to see it, Simone. Thirty years ago and six months ago. I wanted to help you so badly. Because—”
“Because I was your little fox,” I said for him, understanding exactly where this was headed. A little piece of my heart broke off.
He nodded, that same sad smile resting on his face like it lived there.
“In high school, we were like siblings.” Ethan tucked another strand behind my ear, pressing his palm to my cheek. “That hasn’t changed, has it?”
I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his.
I closed my eyes, wishing like hell the spark I’d tried to create between us was there.
Wondering why, even now, part of me held back.
And it wasn’t that I didn’t find him attractive.
There’d been times I’d wanted to jump on him and ride him like a bull at a rodeo.
When we pulled apart, the answer was in the slant of his eyes and the quiver of his chin. We didn’t speak, and in the space of our silence, I understood that I’d been right. Those brief moments of impulse weren’t enough. For either of us.
“You’ve always been such a great friend,” I managed. “And you’re hot as hell.”
“Likewise,” Ethan replied with a laugh. “We mesh, you and I. It’s so easy.”
“Too easy. When I first arrived, my magic was, let’s say, volatile.
All my emotions confused me. But you were always there for me.
Steady as a rock, and we slipped right back into our kinship.
I think …” I dropped my head, gnawing on my lip.
This was bittersweet, but it had to be said aloud.
“I think, at the end of the day, I wanted to want you.”
He nodded. Even knowing we were on the same page, I couldn’t help but feel like I was losing something.
“I’ve been searching for my fated mate for so long, I look for her in every attractive woman I meet. It’s probably why I keep getting married.” He huffed out a breath. “I wanted to want you too, Simone.”
Ethan stood, drawing me up with him. We embraced for a long time, and he didn’t seem to mind that I left tears on the shoulder of his expensive shirt. He never seemed to mind. He was just that good of a friend.
When we separated, I wiped my eyes and smiled. Ethan’s briefcase had materialized by his feet. “I’ll see you at the next board meeting?”
“Let’s have coffee,” he said. “Next week?”
“I’ll bring the blueberry muffins.” Though I could have used my BMVTM to return to the Magnolia, I wanted the walk. I waved goodbye, then turned to leave. But an idea hit me, so I spun back around. “You know who could help you with that fated mate stuff?”
“Gumbo and I have already discussed it.” Ethan kicked at a pebble. “He doesn’t seem to have an answer for me.”
“That’s not who I meant, though. If you two could stop wolfing out for five minutes …” I didn’t have to finish my sentence. There was a rustle in the trees, and Ray emerged from the clearing.
I braced for another fight. But it didn’t come.
“I thought I heard you two out here.” He gave me an awkward nod, then took several cautious steps toward Ethan. “Mind if I sit down?”
“Not at all.” Ethan sat back down, gesturing for Ray in much the same way he had when I’d first arrived.
At the sight of Ray and Ethan, human and calm for the first time in years, something inside me shifted.
A sort of settling, as if a crack in my foundation had been filled.
I might have been saying goodbye to romance, at least with one of them, but at least we were all, finally, able to leave the past behind us.
I snuck into the woods, leaving them alone. Two old friends with too much to discuss, sitting down at a good spot for deep thinking and heavy conversation.