Chapter 31
Ionly hit one.
He only hit one? Which one?
Actually, I knew which one.
Well. I was pretty sure I knew.
I think.
Probably?
It … made sense. In my head.
“It had to be Ethan.” Brianne was on the phone, Lydia and Lyra were in their divisions, and Lauren had a session. So I’d taken to pacing in the break room area and muttering to myself. “He told me his feelings had changed. It had to be Ethan.”
I stopped and flailed my arms, gawking at Brianne. “Right?”
Since she had no idea what I was talking about, she shrugged and returned to her phone call while I continued pacing, taking up the length of the lobby, which was blessedly empty.
“Then again, Ray has been super weird for months. And his wolf has been out of control. What if Ethan only thought he started feeling differently? What if we both just knew we were better off as friends and fizzled? What if I can’t trust how either of them feels?”
I stopped in front of Brianne’s desk again. “What if Cupid said it just to mess with me?”
Brianne hung up the phone and gestured to the seat beside her desk. “Want to sit down and tell me what on earth you’re talking about?”
“Maybe?” I started to sit, but I was far too restless and stood up to pace. “I don’t know if I can. Or should.”
“Come with me.” Brianne pressed a few buttons on the phone, then guided me to our lunch table. Cecelia had a Bayou Bliss waiting. I took a sip, but it was bitter on my tongue. “Do you want a bubble?”
“Huh?” I frowned at Brianne. “Why would I want to drink a bubble?”
“No, hon.” Brianne shook her head with a slight laugh. “Do you want to create a bubble so we can talk?”
“Oh.” Yeah, that seemed way more obvious. “Okay. We’re in a bubble.”
It formed around us, blocking out the world. Almost instantly, I felt better, as if creating that space for myself could solve my problems. It wouldn’t. Talking them out might. But I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk this out.
I was an external processor. All my best thinking happened out loud, often when I had no idea what I was going to say until I let myself say it. Back when Lauren was helping me learn how to heal my leg, I’d blurted out a ton of deep-rooted stuff I hadn’t expected.
What if I said something now that I was afraid to admit? There’d be no going back once it was in my consciousness, and not just dwelling in my subconscious where I could pretend it wasn’t there. Even if it was shouting so loud it kept me from sleeping.
Brianne waited, patient and steady. Until I remembered. I was no coward.
“The session with Cupid this morning was not ideal. But he left on a high note. Real damn high.” I tried to sip the Bliss again.
Still bitter. I walked to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water.
The bubble stretched with me, creating an iridescent glow that made Brianne giggle.
The stray thought passed through my mind that, if I wanted, I could bubble the whole house.
I set it aside. “Do you want anything while I’m up? ”
“I’m good, friend.” Brianne patted the chair I’d vacated. “Come back and talk to me.”
She was not-so-subtly telling me I was stalling. I plopped back down. “In our session this morning, Cupid mentioned, offhandedly like it was no big damn deal, that either Ray or Ethan had been shot by one of his arrows. But not both.”
“Oh.” Bri tapped her nail on her coffee mug, thinking through what I’d said. “Ohhhhh. Did he say which one?”
“Nope.” I popped that last p like it was a balloon. “And I don’t think he intends to.”
Bri was silent for a minute, thoughtful. “Do you have a theory?”
“My gut says it was Ethan.” And, because it had come out so quickly, I had even more reason to trust it. “He told me his feelings shifted around the same time. It’s one of the reasons he asked me out after our board meeting. You know, when he found out about Cupid.”
“That’s good sound logic,” Brianne said. “Except …”
“Except Ray has been acting like a lunatic for months,” I finished for her, sighing at her sad nod of agreement. “He’s lost control of his wolf, he’s stalking the Magnolia, his behavior is, well, erratic.”
Brianne reached across the table, squeezing my hand. “Wasn’t he erratic when you two were together last time?”
“I suppose so.” I stood up to pace again, feeling a bit like a nervous Ethan.
The bubble stretched and morphed, following my steps.
“But that was more of an adolescence thing. For his wolf, I mean. He was fighting the inevitable: becoming the alpha of his pack. He was mourning the loss of his dream. There were other things going on that had nothing to do with me.”
I stopped to look around the lobby. To let my thoughts settle in. “It wasn’t healthy, what we had when we were eighteen. We both know that. We’ve even discussed it since I returned.”
I sat back down and sighed. “He’s been back here for twenty years, Bri. So have you. Tell me honestly. Am I deliberately ignoring red flags?”
“Lauren would know better than me.” I lifted an eyebrow and tilted my head at her evasion. She smirked. “But no, he’s been a stable, mature, and responsible member of our community for twenty years. Even since you came back.”
“Until three months ago,” I added.
“Until three months ago,” Brianne said.
“So it makes sense that Ray was the one hit with an arrow.” It pressed against my chest so hard I couldn’t breathe. My heart skittered inside me. Something wasn’t right. “So why did Ethan suddenly stop being attracted to me?”
And something else Cupid had said in one of our sessions sprang to mind. Something I’d intentionally ignored because my priority had been Brianne. It really messed with your entanglements.
“I’m not meant to be with Ethan.” I wasn’t saying it to Brianne, not necessarily. I was saying it because it was a truth I couldn’t deny. If I was meant to be with anyone, it was …
The house began to shake. Our glasses rattled, and framed pictures slid off the wall. With a gasp, Brianne grabbed her cup before it shattered on the ground. I looked around, letting my own water fall and splatter across the floor.
This wasn’t an earthquake. It was almost as if Cecelia herself was shaking. But I felt it inside me. The tremors matched the rhythm of my heart, dancing in my rib cage, stirring up sediment that had long since settled.
“We’re okay,” I said to Brianne. “Cecelia’s trying to tell me something I’m obviously missing.”
Sure enough, as I walked around the lobby, the vibrations narrowed in focus. They were a few steps in front of me. If I turned the wrong direction, they shifted. She was guiding me somewhere. “Just tell me where to go, Cecelia.”
A line of wooden planks along the floor rumbled and broke apart. They reformed into a steep ramp. I followed it, the ramp building in front of me, until I understood where she wanted me. The Reading Room.
When I reached it, she’d redecorated again. It looked like it had before the Threadbinding, with space barely big enough for one and only the codex available. They were still enclosed by dragon bookends, though. And one of them awoke from its slumber to wink at me.
Then one of the books wiggled out of its place, floated into the air, and landed on the end table. It opened, pages flipping as if being read at top speed. When it grew still, so did everything around me. The Reading Room was the Reading Room again. Everything below was intact.
But the book awaited me. I waved down at Brianne, who was staring up at me with a mask of fear and confusion. “I’ll be up here if anyone needs me.”
With a shaky hand, she gave me a wave before slowly returning to her desk and going back to work.
“Okay, Cecelia, let’s see what I’m missing.” I sat in the chair, pulling the open volume of the codex onto my lap. I placed my palm on the page to hold my place, then closed the book so I could see which volume she’d given me.
Volume Six: Entangled Threads. Friendships and Romances in the Supernatural World
“I’ve read this volume. Most of it, anyway.” It flipped open again, to the spot where my hand had held my place. Wolf Shifters and Their Relationships. “I definitely read this. Didn’t I?”
My chair rumbled. I had a memory of reading about shifters and fated mates. I’d done some research on it …
But that rapid heartbeat was back. Maybe I hadn’t. Or maybe I’d skimmed it, pretending it was just for information, when in reality I’d not been ready to understand what it actually meant.
So I read the words. Out loud.
As I spoke, a truth long buried in my subconscious drifted to the surface. A truth I’d always known and managed to talk myself out of dozens of times. A truth that made everything crystal clear.
I shut the book and rushed downstairs, yelling to Brianne that I’d be out for the day.
I knew who’d been shot with an arrow.
I knew why both men were acting strangely.
I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, who I wanted.
And I was going to claim him.