Chapter 39
“You … lied?” I pulled my hand away from him, launching myself off the couch. “What the actual holy hell do you mean, you lied?”
“If I could finish the story—”
“Oh, no.” I put my finger to his mouth. “No more stories, Ray. The truth. Not in narrative, but outright. All of it, right now.”
I plopped back down. He inched closer, and I held up my hand, so he scooted back to the far end.
He was smiling, like my little outburst was adorable.
For the second time that day, I wanted to punch a wolf shifter.
“Do you have any idea how badly your rejection hurt me? What it took for me to come to you? And you kissed the snot out of me, then … lied?”
At that, his smile did fade. “I hope one day you’ll believe that it took every ounce of my strength to send you away. And I’ve hated myself every second of every day since.”
“Well, it was only like five days ago, so maybe hate yourself a little longer.” I closed my eyes. There was no venom to my words. The cushions dipped as he edged closer. His arm slid around me. Despite myself, I dropped my head on his shoulder. “I don’t understand why.”
“My wolf knew when we were six. I took a little longer. A lot longer, actually.” The tenor of his voice rumbled against my ear.
“We battled for years, until we met Catelyn, Sierra’s mother.
She was kind. A calming influence on us both.
For the sake of the pack, we worked together.
But when she died, it was like he gave up.
For years, I barely felt like I had a wolf. He was so lethargic and detached.
“Then you returned, he woke up, and he came back completely out of control, as if he’d been running feral all those years instead of lying dormant.
” He lifted my face, cupping it in his hands, cherishing me.
“Part of the work I’ve been doing with Lauren since then has been learning to reconnect with him.
We were making progress. Until Brianne’s birthday party. ”
“What happened at Brianne’s birthday party?” I took his hands, setting them on his lap. When he touched me that way, I couldn’t think straight. I needed to understand the whole story.
“You floated.” He said it so simply. Like I’d blown my nose or brushed my teeth.
“I never floated at Brianne’s party.” I had zero memory of floating, nor would I, during a public party. At least not on purpose. “Did I float at Brianne’s party?”
“You did. Bri and Nate were giving speeches. You were standing nearby, watching. You had such joy on your face. Then the wind picked up, and you”—he twirled his hand toward the ceiling—“floated.”
I knew the moment. When I’d realized Cecelia’s name, and thought about my mother, and felt so connected to her I’d leapt out of time and space, returning to the loft with full access to the codex. And, apparently, I’d floated.
Who knew?
“Okay, so, to me, I took a trip to the past. But to you, I floated.” I crinkled my nose. “Why did that change anything?”
“You were fully immersed in your power, Simone. It was like seeing the truest, purest form of you. I was speechless.” Ray’s hands were on mine again.
Like he couldn’t stop touching me. Like I was precious to him.
“In that moment, the faucet of affection I’d felt for you became a firehose.
The wolf and I synced. Both of us, completely and fully, in love with you. ”
I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t want to believe it. But part of me was ready to laugh and dance and kiss the incredibly sexy man in front of me. To explore this new world where we stood, healthy and happy, and create something both of us had longed for but never had.
But …
“But you rejected me.” It never came out easier. “I don’t understand, Ray.”
“I had to.” He pressed his lips to my hands, lingering over them. “For Ethan.”
“For Ethan.” And, finally, it dawned on me. “You thought I was Ethan’s mate, too, didn’t you?”
Ray didn’t speak. He merely nodded. “Is that even possible?”
“Two of my packmates shared a fated. It’s not unheard of.” He kissed my hands again and again. “But I’d never forgiven myself for screwing up our friendship thirty years ago. I’d hurt Ethan. And you. I couldn’t do that again.”
I leaned forward until our foreheads met. I felt his breath on my skin. Smelled the scent of the forest. Heard the steady beat of his heart.
“You stepped aside to give Ethan and me a chance.” He nodded against me. “But Ethan and I are not fated, hon.”
“I know that,” Ray whispered. “And my wolf does, too. Now.”
“Telling your wolf he couldn’t have his fated must have really pissed him off.”
“You have no idea,” Ray said, letting out a pained laugh. “He’s been volatile ever since.”
“Volatile?” I tilted my head to look at him. “Is that what we’re calling it?”
He laughed again. “The night you went on a date with him, we saw you on the steps. When he kissed you? I thought my wolf might kill him.”
“But he didn’t kiss me, Ray.”
He jerked back, eyes wide. “I saw him lean in. He had his arm around your waist.”
His voice was a growl that spoke right to my lady bits. “And did you see me dodge the kiss and slip inside?”
“No, I ran away before I lost control of him.” His mouth dropped open. “You two haven’t …?”
“Nope. Something always seemed to get in the way.” I smiled, looking at his lips. “Someone.”
He stroked my hair. “You said you were mine.”
I looked him straight in the eyes. “And I meant it.”
He drew me close. “I’m yours, too, Simone.”
And then his lips were on mine. His fingers were in my hair. I made a sound in the back of my throat, a plea for him to set me ablaze. He pulled my head back, feasting on my throat, whispering my name against my skin.
He shifted, lifting me like I weighed nothing, until I straddled him.
Our teeth clashed when he kissed me again, devouring me, drawing heat from my very core.
He lifted my shirt, skimming his nails over my skin in the process.
Then his mouth was on my breast, and I was lost in a sea of sensation.
A sea I would willingly drown myself in.
“Ray.” I said his name. Just to hear it. To beg him for more. “Ray,” I said again.
He’d lifted us up. I hadn’t even noticed, but I wrapped my legs around his hips. Somehow, we staggered down the hall to the bedroom. He pressed my back to the wall, holding me there with sheer strength while he fumbled for the doorknob.
“Simone, the door is missing.” He released me, gesturing to the smooth stretch of wall where the door should have been. I slowly lowered my legs to the ground, clutching him until I was sure they would support me.
I looked at the blank spot, trying to keep my brain from frying. “Cecelia? A door, please.”
No door appeared. But a sign did. I sighed.
Objects May Be Too Hot to Handle
Proceed With Caution
“Cecelia, don’t be creepy.” I rapped on the wall. “Door.”
No door appeared, but a new sign did.
They Say Past Is Prologue
I Say Future Is King
“I’m not following.” Ray looked at the ceiling, then back at the wall. “What is she saying?”
A floorboard groaned, Cecelia’s form of a sigh. The next sign was way less subtle.
Dude. Get to know her again. Buy her dinner first.
Isn’t there something about milk and cows you should consider???
“Ohhh-kay, Cecelia, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” Had I said I loved this house? I kind of wanted to throttle her. “Why don’t you take your signs and—”
Ray cut me off with a tender kiss.
“Be nice to Cecelia. She takes such good care of you.” He pressed his mouth to my ear, nibbling on the lobe and whispering, “If we’re nice, maybe she’ll open the door.”
“You know she can hear that, right?”
Ray chuckled until, realizing I wasn’t kidding, his face grew sober. “Does she hear everything?”
“Of course.” My fingers drifted to the hem of his shirt. After all, mine was off. It seemed only fair that his wind up on the floor, too. “She’s a part of me.”
Ray stayed my hands midway up his torso. Party pooper. “How big a part of you?”
“We’re bonded.” I said it as simply as Ray had told me I floated. “We all are.”
“All meaning …?” He lifted one eyebrow.
“The Magnolia.” It had become so second nature to me, I hadn’t considered that, to an outside party, this might feel strange. But I could see it now, from Ray’s perspective. “The coven.”
“Wait. I need to understand.” Ray backed up until he bumped into the wall opposite us. “Do they all know? Everything?”
“Cecelia does. But the rest only know what I tell them. It’s not like I can feel it when they …” I twisted my lips, thinking about it. “Actually, now that you mention it, I’m not sure what Gumbo picks up on. He’s an elusive kitty, that one.”
“I knew you’d all grown close.” Ray adjusted his pants, glancing around as if we suddenly had an audience. “I didn’t realize how close.”
“We’re bonded, Ray. A coven is only as strong as its bond.” I approached him, taking his hands. “I’m a Supreme, hon. You are, or were, an alpha, right? Isn’t it the same?”
“Yeah.” He sighed, nodding his head. “Yeah, I see your point. I hadn’t really thought it through.”
“Is that a problem?” A flicker of fear pressed behind my rib cage. I did not want the territorial, possessive Ray. I wanted the in-control, confident, caring Ray. I was not looking for another project.
“Of course not. We’re adults now, Simone. We can’t escape to an island and forget the world.” He dropped his forehead to mine. How could such a basic gesture become so intimate so fast?
“Well, we could for, like, a week,” I said. “A vacation doesn’t sound so horrible.”
“No, it doesn’t. But in the meantime, Cecelia’s right.” He wrapped his arms around me. “There’s a lot we don’t know about each other.”
I nestled in close, listening to his heartbeat, enjoying the warmth and safety of the moment. Then, with a sigh, I pulled away to head back down the hall.
“Where are you going?”
“To get my shirt.” I turned and smiled. “I’m not going to eat dinner naked.”