4. Emotional Support Orgasm
Emotional Support Orgasm
I tap my fingers on the edge of the nightstand, eyes are glued to my laptop screen—specifically, to TOP’s homepage.
I don’t know why I’m back here. Hell, I even had to add money to my account because I used the gift card already. And it’s not like seeing some stranger’s naked body will help in any way at all—maybe at the moment, but it’ll wear down quickly.
So why am I here?
I should just clean up the mess of clothes piling up in the corner next to the big wardrobe, but after straining my ear to make sure there’s no noise coming from Sadie’s bedroom, I adjust the laptop on my lap and type her username in the search bar.
Cherry .
She’s the first result that shows up, that shot of her in a pink bra and thong bringing back the familiar pang of want.
I peruse her profile, my brows shooting up my forehead when I see she has dozens of thousands of followers—not that I’m surprised. The world is full of losers like myself, and she’s more beautiful than beauty.
Under her username there’s a list of the things she’s comfortable doing—though by the length of it, I suspect it’d be easier to list what she doesn’t consent to. And besides, another field reads “On a call.”
Of course.
What did I expect?
There must be a line to get some one-on-one time with her.
Slumping back against the wicker headboard, I keep scrolling through her profile. Photos of her nearly naked and bent in every sort of position litter my screen, and I can distinctly feel my mouth watering. My erection stiffening.
There’s content I could pay for—explicit, it says, as if the rest is PG-13—and though I can’t deny how badly I want to see those tits again, I don’t click on it.
It wouldn’t be the same, would it?
I scroll back up, briefly considering checking out other profiles, then realizing I’ve got no drive to. I’m hovering over the X to close the page when her status changes from orange to green. From “On a call” to “Taking calls.”
Nausea grips me and before I can make a fully conscious decision, I’m pressing on the call button.
“Fucking hell,” I breathe out as the call screen appears and the rings accumulate.
Maybe she’s not going to answer. There must be a lot of people calling her, right? Shit, maybe I don’t want her to answer.
The screen buffers, the ringing subsides, and my heart leaps in my throat as she appears, as beautiful as ever.
“Cole,” she says, and I detect surprise in her voice. “I didn’t think you’d come back.”
She remembers me. I mean—it’s only been twenty-four hours, but she must talk to loads of men in that timeframe, and she remembers me .
I really am a loser, because the awareness warms me up instantly.
Ugh. Now I sound like Kyle.
“H-hey.”
“Let me guess.” She leans forward and the black minidress she’s wearing inches up her thigh. “Another feline setup?”
I adjust the volume to make sure I won’t wake Sadie up, then remind myself that I’ve locked the door so she won’t accidentally stumble into whatever is about to happen.
“Actually, I’ve abandoned the cat at the closest dumpster.”
Cherry’s smile falls.
“Just—just a joke. The cat’s fine. Sleeping, at least until I go to sleep. Then she’ll start playing whack-a-mole with my face.”
She giggles. “I’m happy you called back.”
“Yeah?” I ask. She likely tells that to everyone, but I don’t care. My almost-ex-wife doesn’t want to talk to me—or her daughter. Sadie is hurting and there’s nothing I can do about it. But for the next ten minutes, I can pretend this woman was waiting for my call. I can pretend someone was.
“Absolutely. You left in such a rush yesterday. I didn’t even get to hear your voice do all those fun things we talked about.”
I breathe out, her words sinking deep into my stomach and taking hold of my common sense. “So how...how does this work?”
“It works however you want it to.” She rises to her knees, then takes a box and drags it to the center of the bed.
“You want me to play with toys? I’ll even let you choose the size.
You want me to deny myself orgasms? I’ll wither for you.
I’ll dance for you, or talk you through the best handjob of your life.
I’ll tell you every single thing I’d let you do to me if you were here. ”
I shift on the white sheets, my erection straining against my jeans. Most of that seems...too complicated. Too rehearsed, even, when all I truly want right now is for this to feel real.
When all I want is to feel like someone out there wants me to give them pleasure.
“Could we just . . .”
She tilts her head. “Yes, baby?”
“Could you . . . come? For me?”
She blinks and for a second seems taken aback. Maybe it’s a weird thing to ask, but before I can take it back, she plasters the usual flirty smile on her face. “How would you like me to do that?”
I open my mouth, then close it. It’s my personal experience that a woman knows exactly what’s going to make her come. “Any way that actually makes you come.”
Her bottom lip disappears under the top one. “That’s it? You just want me to orgasm?”
“Yeah.”
“No show?”
“No show.”
She laughs for a brief moment. “I gotta tell you, Cole. It’s not going to be all that interesting.”
Seeing a woman as beautiful as Cherry bring herself to climax? Agree to disagree.
“But, hey, it’s your money.” She pulls at the sides of her dress and drops it beside her. She’s not wearing a bra, only see-through black underwear. “Can I take these off?” she continues as she fits a thumb under the side of her panties.
“Y-yes. Of course.”
Underwear out of the way, she spreads her legs and looks straight at the camera. I don’t know what to focus on first. Her eyes, green and staring straight into mine, or her tightly pebbled nipples. Maybe her pussy. Shaven, pink, freckled.
Perfect.
I might be flatlining, flashes of my cock sinking into her chased by her sexy voice calling my name, her red nails scraping my back.
Fuck, I’m lightheaded.
“Your turn now, Cole.”
“Wh-what?”
“Unbutton your pants, baby.”
My fingers move to my zipper, and the second I pull it down, I exhale in relief.
“Hmm.” Her fingers swipe through her pussy as she licks her lips. “Better, isn’t it? Take it out now.”
What am I doing? Am I cheating on my wife? I mean—we’ve been in the process of divorcing for two years, but the whole thing is still not finalized.
“Stop spiraling, Cole.” She parts her lips with her fingers, showing me her hole, her clit—everything wet and ready. “I’m horny, and I need you.”
That effectively snaps me out of my guilt trip and, equally motivated by anger and need, I pull my boxers down. “I’m...I’ve done it.”
“Are you hard for me?”
“ So hard.”
“Yeah?” She teases her clit, head tilting back as she looks up at the ceiling. “Is it wet at the tip?”
Fuck . It is now .
“Spread it all over for me, then spit in your hand and grip that hard cock in your fist.”
Shivers run down my spine as I tease the head with my fingers. Then I spit and wrap my fingers around it. “Oh fuck,” I drawl as I give it a stroke.
Forget about one-pump chump. I won’t even get there—not with this orgasm threatening to explode.
“Want me to let you in on a little secret?”
“Yes,” I breathe.
Her fingers circle her swollen clit as she opens her eyes again and looks straight at the camera. “The only way a man has ever made me come is by eating me.”
“Oh?”
She nods, sliding two fingers inside, and in response, I give my cock a tug. “And not just...a half-hearted attempt. You’d have to eat it like a man starved.”
“I would,” I say in a shaky, raspy voice. No hesitation because it’s the simple truth, and I’m too fucking turned on to try to hold it back.
“Hmm. I know you would, baby.” She reaches into the box by her side and takes out a small blue toy. “This—this is the closest thing there is to having your pussy eaten. There isn’t all that fun stuff like tongue-fucking and desperate lapping, but...”
Fuck, the way she speaks. Like none of this fazes her in the slightest. Like she’s completely comfortable.
“It gets the job done. At the right setting, it feels like a very talented tongue flicking my clit, and...” She rolls her head back dramatically before looking back at me. “It’s the only way I’ve been able to squirt. Just once, but it was...unforgettable.”
I force myself to speak, though there’s nothing but noise inside my brain right now. “Can I watch you use it?”
She turns it on then clicks the button three times, the buzzing increasing. “You can do whatever you want with me, Cole.”
She brings the toy to her clit, and immediately, her body jerks, her muscles tensing up. Her eyes roll to the back of her head as she whimpers, and I swear I see her clench again and again.
The noise of her pleasure is addicting. Her voice is much softer than when she speaks, but I can hear it perfectly over the wet buzzing.
“I’m thinking about you, Cole,” she says, her eyes finding the camera again. They’re half-lidded now, the green nearly swallowed by the black of her pupils. “About your tongue exploring every inch of my cunt.”
“ Yes ,” I grit out. I stroke myself increasingly faster, my breaths coming out in frantic, hot puffs. Fuck, what I wouldn’t give to lick it clean. To watch her squirm, to fuck her hard and raw while I hold that blue vibrator on her clit until she squirts all over my lap.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I sputter, letting go of my cock when tension starts forming at the base of my spine.
“Not yet, baby,” she says back. Her legs clench around the toy, and with a deeper, louder whine, she turns around on all fours, ass in the air and facing the camera.
She finds her clit again and her back arches, her legs shaking. I watch, unable to look away, as moisture runs down her thighs, making her skin slick.
I’m not going to last another second, but I also can’t wait any longer, so I continue fucking my hand, picturing it’s her hot pussy instead. Warm, tight, spasming around me and sucking an orgasm straight out of my balls.
“I knew I’d love your moans,” she says.
I hadn’t even realized I was moaning, but I can’t help it as she rolls her hips, chasing her orgasm.
I think she’s close because her legs tremble hard, and so does the one arm holding her up. Though the view is spectacular, I want to watch this orgasm play out on her face.
“Turn around,” I bark, devoid of any self-control. My first instinct is to apologize, but she flips on her back, watching the camera with a predatory glint in her eyes.
She likes it.
And I definitely can’t regret it now that I’m looking at her messy hair, the red hue over her cheeks.
Her chest rises and drops sharply, and when she moans, her lips twist, like she’s stuck between agony and ecstasy.
I get it, because I’m right there with her.
“Cole... Cole —oh my god.” She throws her head back, then forces herself to lock eyes with the camera again. “Say my name. Moan it.”
“ Cherry ,” I groan. “Cherry, Cherry, Ch?—”
She gasps, then her whole body is shaking. She’s mumbling unintelligible words, whimpers cascading out of her lips like the sweetest symphony.
Before I know it, an orgasm is rushing up my spine and spilling into my hand, again and again, until I’ve made a mess of my pants and stomach.
“Ah, fuck ...” I grunt, stroking myself and getting every drop out. She’s riding the wave of her orgasm too, her body rising and falling against the mattress as she struggles to keep her head up.
When my hand abandons my cock, my whole body is tingling. I think this orgasm just extended my lifespan. It was the most intense pleasure I’ve felt in...shit, maybe ever.
She turns the vibrator off then drops against the mattress with an exuberant laugh, knees bending to one side. “Holy shit, Cole. I knew I liked you, but this? This was good . Really, really good.” She grins up at me, then licks her lips. “You sound so pretty when you come.”
Pride swells in my chest, but it lasts only a moment. Then, it all comes rushing back. The stress, the anxiety, the terror. Sadie, and Josie, the teacher at school, tonight’s phone call.
It’s all so heavy, it feels like the walls are closing in around me.
“Cole? Are you still there?”
“I—yes. Sorry, I . . .”
“You have to go?” she suggests, throwing an amused glance at the camera. “You don’t need to apologize, baby. That’s how it works—you can hang up now.”
“No, I know.” I watch her grab a folded cloth from beside her and use it to wipe up her thighs and pussy. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to hang up, but I think I’m supposed to.
Now clean, she fits back into her dress. Then, probably weirded out by my silence, she asks, “Are you okay?”
Am I okay?
No.
I’m not even remotely okay.
I shake my head, knowing she can’t see me, and before I can hope to control it, a sob bursts past my lips, then another, and another.
Within a second I’m crying uncontrollably, and fuck me, I doubt she’s ever witnessed something more disgustingly pathetic, doubt that anyone’s ever made her more uncomfortable.
Being the weirdest guy on a platform like TOP? Not a great fucking feeling.
“I’m—I’m sorry.” Fuck, I can’t control myself. I can barely keep my eyes open with how desperately I’m sobbing, and the more I try to stop, the more I replay that conversation with Josie. The more I replay what Sadie’s teacher said today.
My baby—my six-year-old princess—needs a shrink. We fucked her up that bad, and Josie has no intention to help me remedy any of it.
It’s all on me, and I want to fix it more than anything else, but I don’t know what to do.
“That’s okay, Cole,” Cherry whispers. She doesn’t look shocked or annoyed. There’s a little pout on her face, her eyes squinted as she patiently waits for my hysterics to subside. “I asked you what you needed.”
I nod, hiding my face in my hand.
“Maybe you just need someone to sit with you and let you cry.”