Chapter 39
The plate filled with grilled chicken breast, two sausage links, potato salad, barbecue beans, corn on the cob, and a mammoth roll weighed at least five pounds.
At least it felt that way in Jocelyn’s hand.
Its aroma no longer made her mouth water.
Her elbows ached.
So did her shoulders. She should’ve left the serving to the younger women, but the task allowed her to see and chat with the many visitors who’d come long distances for Sophia’s wedding. That was half the fun of a social gathering.
The Hershbergers and friends had decorated the tables with white paper cloths.
Every table featured a Mason jar filled with purple asters and golden mums.
The place settings were white china on blue place mats with blue-and-white-checked napkins.
A gorgeous three-layer cake with white frosting and red roses made from spun sugar occupied the spot of honor on the wedding table.
It was one of four cakes of various flavors.
So pretty.
So festive.
Yet simple.
It would be fun to do something similar for Bonnie.
God willing. Someday.
Or even ...No, she would not go there.
Theo was gone. He might not come back. Probably wouldn’t come back. If it were Jocelyn and she had to choose, she would choose Bonnie. It had to be. She respected Theo as a family man and a father. He had his priorities straight.
So get over it.
Jocelyn leaned in to place the overburdened plate on the table in front of a man who’d hung his black hat on the back of his chair.
His silver hair was thick and unruly.
And familiar.
He scooted his empty salad plate so it joined a bowl of fruit.
Desserts would come later.
His hands were big, fingers calloused.
Familiar.
No, it couldn’t be. He was in Berlin. “Here you go. Enjoy. If you need more tea or water, wave down—”
“Danki.”
Theo swiveled and smiled up at her.
He leaned closer.
“I was hoping you’d be our server.”
“He actually scoped it out.”
The young man sitting next to Theo leaned back in his chair.
Jocelyn got a glimpse of his face.
Spitting image of Theo.
It had to be Noah.
“I think more than one of the women serving were offended when he decided not to sit at her table.”
The cascade of emotions made hard it to think, let alone speak.
The tray in her other arm, filled with plates, teetered.
Jocelyn steadied it.
“I’m surprised.”
“I can see that.”
Theo’s baritone with its usual hint of amusement was just loud enough to be heard over the steady hum of conversation among the other men seated at the table.
That included Uri and his sons.
All of whom were waiting for their food.
Theo cocked his head toward his companion.
“This is my suh, Noah.”
“I figured as much.”
Jocelyn hurried to set a plate in front of Noah.
“It’s nice to meet you.
I’m glad you came.
I have to serve this food before it gets cold.”
“Later.”
Only one word, but Theo’s gaze promised so much more.
“That looks gut.”
Uri took his plate from her hands before she could set it down.
“It’s about time.
What was Theo saying? I couldn’t hear over the ruckus in this place.”
“Nothing.
Just introducing me to his suh.”
“Uh-huh.
I reckon you’re glad to see them.”
Jocelyn placed a plate in front of her nephew.
“I’m glad to see all the visitors.
I reckon you’re glad he’s back because he does more work than two of most men.”
“Be that way.”
Uri scooped up a mound of potato salad and stuffed it in his mouth.
Good.
She didn’t have time for his idle talk.
Jocelyn served nephew number two and headed back to the kitchen.
She laid the tray on the counter.
Breathe, just breathe.
“What’s going on out there?”
Elizabeth loaded more full plates onto the tray.
“Your face is redder than Charlie’s when he’s been in the sun too long.”
“Nothing.
It’s all gut.”
“I saw Theo Beiler is back.”
How that grapevine grew so fast was a mystery. “Jah.”
“And his suh.
How old is he?”
“Twenty-two, I think.”
“Ah, hmm. Name?”
The wheels were turning so fast that they whirred in Jocelyn’s ears. “Noah.”
“If he looks anything like his dat, he’ll catch a lot of attention from the girls.
It’s a shame my Josie is too young.
She’s only sixteen.
But your niece Rose is eighteen, isn’t she?”
Suddenly this matchmaking game turned Jocelyn’s stomach.
God’s planning.
God’s timing.
He didn’t need meddlesome mothers sticking their noses in His plans.
“Rose is helping the new teacher out at the school. She’s not in any hurry to court.”
“Ahh.
You’re not thinking about nudging him toward Bonnie, are you?”
Elizabeth scowled as she slid another plate onto the tray.
A sausage link rolled off.
She plunked it back in its place with her gloved hand.
“Oh no you don’t.
The sausage, I mean, not you. But surely you know how much Elijah cares for your dochder. He came back to town before the road trip ended last month, which was his way of telling his dat he was done with auctioneering.”
“I heard something about that.”
Jocelyn was done picking apart the personal, private lives of the young people in her life.
She had her own p’s and q’s to mind.
“I better get this tray out there before the food gets cold and people go hungry.”
“Jah, go, go.”
Elizabeth’s scowl softened.
“Make sure Theo Beiler gets an extra big piece of cake.
I’ve heard the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
Elizabeth heard and saw way too much.
By the time everyone in the shift had been served, Jocelyn’s feet, knees, elbows, and shoulders were on fire.
She’d be the last to admit it, but serving at an event of this size should be left to the youngies.
A new round of servers flooded the kitchen to take over the second shift.
Danki, Gott.
“I’m not that old,”
she muttered to herself as she hobbled out the door to the back porch.
“Just a lot of mileage.”
She stopped and raised her face to the afternoon breeze.
The air was humid but not as warm as in the kitchen.
The sun had retired behind a bank of clouds, lowering the temperature a few degrees.
She rolled her shoulders, stretched first one arm and then the other.
A pine rocker called her name. If she sat down now, she’d fall asleep.
“Psst, psst.”
Jocelyn craned her head.
She surveyed the porch and yard.
Saw nothing.
“Psst, over here.”
Theo stuck his head out from the house’s corner to her right.
“Come here.”
Jocelyn checked the vicinity.
Most of the guests were around front.
The grills and the wedding wagon were set up directly in front of the porch, but farther out so they wouldn’t block the road and the smoke wouldn’t drift into the open kitchen windows.
Elijah and his brothers were all gathered around the grills.
So were the Hershberger men, but they were so intent on talking and grilling, they wouldn’t notice.
This was ridiculous.
She was way too old. “Coming.”
She whipped down the steps, trotted around the corner, and walked into Theo’s outstretched arms.
He hugged her hard.
Jocelyn hugged back.
“What are you doing back here?”
“Waiting for you.
I heard some of the other servers talking about being glad the first shift was over.
They were tuckered out.
I figured you’d be done too.”
“And you were sure I’d come out the back?”
“Nee.
Just hoping.
If you hadn’t, I would’ve found another way.
Or come to the house tonight.
But then I thought you might be too tired and go to bed early.”
He was talking fast.
Like he was nervous or happy or both.
“Why hoping?”
“I didn’t want to wait until tonight to talk to you.”
His hands ran up and down her arms.
He touched her cheek.
His gaze didn’t waver from hers.
Jocelyn’s blood rushed in her ears.
A chair. She might need a chair in case her legs gave out. “Where’s Noah? What do you want to talk about?”
“I introduced him to Uri’s seh.
They’re playing cornhole and volleyball and introducing him to some of the other folks his age.
He’s fine.”
“So what did you want to talk about?”
“Come for a ride with me.”
Escape from the wedding of one of Bonnie’s best friends to go riding with a man.
Teenagers did stuff like that.
Not a middle-aged woman and widow.
Yet the idea sent a sweet tremor of delight through Jocelyn.
Nee, be a grown-up. “It’s a wedding.”
She smoothed her damp, stained apron with shaking hands.
She was sweaty.
Not the best condition for a ride with Theo.
Besides, ditching a social event, as her daughter would call it, was wrong.
“So many guests, so many visitors.”
“So many that you won’t be missed for a short ride.
We’ll be back in time for the singing and games.”
A ride with Theo versus making small talk with people she saw a few times a year.
“I smell like barbecue.”
“I like barbecue.”
Theo grabbed her hand and tugged her toward the old, rutted dirt road that led deeper into the Hershbergers’ property.
His buggy sat next to a barbed-wire fence that separated the road from a field of alfalfa.
An ancient live oak shaded his horse, who was busy snacking on thick grass that hugged the road.
The horse tossed his head and whinnied.
“I know.
I’m here.”
Theo helped Jocelyn into the buggy as if she hadn’t climbed into one a thousand times in her life.
The strange feeling of being cared for washed over her.
Two minutes later, they were on the road.
The buggy’s wheels creaked and groaned with the hollows and ridges in the road.
The clouds sank lower in the sky. The breeze had died. As if everyone and everything paused, breath held, waiting for what came next. Still, Theo didn’t say a word. He kept his gaze trained on the road in front of them.
“Theo?”
“Hmm?”
“What are we doing? Are we running away? Did you have a stopping place in mind?”
Abruptly he pulled on the reins.
The buggy halted.
“I’m too old for this.”
“Me too.
Whatever this is.”
“I wanted to do it right.”
Theo tied up the reins.
He swiveled in his seat.
“Only I couldn’t figure out what that meant exactly.
I feel ridiculous.
Like I’m back in my twenty-year-old body.”
“I know what you mean.”
Jocelyn gripped her hands in her lap.
Her heart fluttered.
Her breathing sounded loud in her ears.
“At least I think I do.
What are we talking about exactly?”
“You and me.”
The flutter increased in velocity until Jocelyn’s heart hurt.
“Is Noah here to stay or just visiting?”
“He’s on the hunt for a job here.
He’s got a room at the B and B in town for now.”
“And the girl he was courting?”
“She’ll come along when he gets settled.
She’s only eighteen.
There’s no rush.”
Unless she felt about Noah the way Jocelyn felt about his father.
Waiting might then seem impossible.
Unadvisable.
Almost painful.
“Funny how we say that to our kinner, like we’ve forgotten how hard it is to wait when the heart is involved.”
“Isn’t that the truth?”
Theo took off his hat.
Squinting against the sun, he spun the hat round and round in his hands.
“It’s different for us.
We’ve seen too much to pussyfoot around.
You’d think we’d want to step carefully, not wanting to go through all that upheaval again.”
“Instead we’re chomping at the bit because we know how fleeting life can be.”
Jocelyn touched the hat.
The spinning ceased.
“We know we’re not in charge.
We know everything could change from one awful, heartbreaking moment to the next.”
“Or it could go on and on in blessed contentment.”
“Either way, it seems that spending that time together is so much better.”
“As old, once-married people, we know these things.”
“How did you convince Noah to move here?”
“It turns out it wasn’t that hard.”
Theo heaved a sigh heavy with a mixture of relief and disbelief.
He laid the hat aside.
“He was waiting for me to make the first move.
He missed having me close.
Like I missed him. He was just too stiff-necked to admit it.”
“Sort of like his father.”
“I sought him out.”
“Finally.”
“Deciding to move was hard.
He had a decent job there with gut people.
But not his people.
We talked and talked and talked until finally I told him it was up to him.
That I would stay in Berlin and find a job there.”
“He didn’t want you to do that?”
Theo glanced toward Jocelyn, then away.
“He knew how much it would cost me.”
“Cost you?”
“I told him about you.
About everything.
He got up from his chair and left the restaurant.”
Theo’s voice turned ragged.
His gaze traveled to the open field.
“I thought he was angry that I had another woman on my heart.
I went after him.
He said he was going back home to pack.”
“I’m so glad.”
Swallowing against sudden tears, Jocelyn gripped her hands together.
“For you and for him.
A suh needs his daed.”
“He’s like your Bonnie.
He doesn’t want me to be alone.
Especially since he’s hoping to marry soon too.”
“Too?”
“Like me.”
The flutters turned into cartwheels.
Jocelyn laid her hand on her chest.
Stay put, stay put.
She heaved a breath.
Easy, easy. “What are you trying to say?”
“I’m saying I love you.
I can’t get you out of my mind.
I don’t want to.
I want to be around you all the time.”
His gaze fixed on her face, Theo took Jocelyn’s hands in his.
“Will you marry me, sei so gut?”
Every jagged, broken piece of Jocelyn’s heart found its new place in her chest until it was whole and complete again.
A familiar rhythm, like an old friend, resumed.
She slipped her hands from Theo’s, placed them on either side of his face, and kissed his lips. “Jah.”
“Jah? Jah.”
Theo covered her hands with his.
He heaved a breath.
“You said jah.”
“You sound surprised.”
“I wasn’t sure you would.
We haven’t known each other very long.”
“Not one muscle or bone in my body is saying stop, don’t do it.
My heart and my head are in agreement.
There’s only one other time I’ve . . .”
Jocelyn stopped.
Her heart squeezed.
Tears threatened.
Gulping air, she tried to tug her hands free.
“There’s only one other time I’ve been this certain about anything.”
“Me too.”
Theo didn’t let go.
He kissed her gently.
“The first time I proposed.”
Jocelyn rested her forehead on Theo’s.
“The first time I was asked.”
“I guess that means Ellie and Marlin approve.”
Theo’s soft laugh held wonder.
“Do you think Bonnie will?”
“I know she will.”
“So you didn’t sell the farm after all?”
“Nee.
I told you I would wait and I did.”
Holding out for a second chance at love.
“I’ll call Mr.
Steadman tomorrow to let him know I’ve made a decision.
He and his wife will have to look for another place for their new start.”
Theo heaved a breath and smiled.
“Whew.
I was afraid Uri and Bart would decide it was better to sell than to wait around for me to make up my mind.
A bird in the hand, as it were.
They would’ve been right.”
“They both saw the wisdom in waiting if it meant keeping a Plain farm Plain rather than selling it to an English couple, however nice they might be.”
If they hadn’t, Jocelyn had been prepared to dig in her heels and stand her ground.
“Even Uri can admit he’s wrong about something—once in a while.”
“Uri only wants what is best for his schweschdre.
His meddling is his way of showing his love.”
Theo dropped a kiss on Jocelyn’s forehead.
“How will Bonnie feel about me moving into the house you shared with her daed?”
“It’ll be an adjustment.”
Jocelyn contemplated the sun sneaking between the clouds.
“We may have to give her—and us—time to get used to the idea.”
Time to paint and rearrange.
To change some things to make the home more Theo’s and hers.
Time to let Bonnie find room in their house and in her heart for Theo.
“I like the sound of that.”
Theo put his arm around her.
“We’ll wait to talk to Bart.
Today’s Sophia and Matthew’s day.”
“We’ll have our day.”
Jocelyn leaned into him.
His arm tightened.
“As many days as Gott wills.”