Chapter 21 Jamie
JAMIE
Iwas still reeling from everything that happened. All I could do was lie in his arms and relive every precious moment.
I closed my eyes and snuggled in closer to him.
So this was what all the fuss was about.
I got it now.
I always thought people made too big a deal out of sex, but now… I ran my hand up to Reign’s chest, holding it there, and focused on his heartbeat, letting the small rhythmic pounding ground me.
I snuggled in closer to him.
“We have to get ready for our day soon,” he said, his voice soft.
“Five more minutes,” I said, not wanting to get up just yet. I knew there were still things I needed to do—like deciding what to do about Caine. I needed to confront my brother. I needed him to tell me why he had decided to betray Dad.
I always knew they weren’t close, but I thought at least Caine was loyal… wasn’t he?
And if he wasn’t… was it justified?
I closed my eyes and snuggled in closer to Reign. His arms wrapped tightly around me, and I felt him press a kiss on my forehead.
It took a while before we finally managed to pull ourselves apart. I winced when I sat up, something that Reign didn’t miss.
His eyes were laser sharp as they focused on me before moving down my naked body. At this point, the sun was fully out, bathing the room in a morning light that made it impossible for me to hide.
He tensed when he got to my legs, and I looked down to see a smear of crimson there.
He frowned, and I watched his face as he put everything together.
I was blushing something fierce when he finally turned that unnerving gaze back on me.
“Virgin?”
I licked my suddenly dry lips and shook my head. “I’m not anymore.”
He closed his eyes briefly before opening them back up and looking at me with a pained expression.
“Baby, why didn’t you tell me?”
I shrugged and peered down at the bedsheets, but that wasn’t any better, considering I had gotten blood on them. I moved my eyes back to him. The sunlight made him appear almost ethereal.
“I wasn’t really thinking about it. And it’s not really important.”
“Not important?” he asked, his voice sharp. He ran his fingers through his blond hair, messing it up a little. I was convinced then that the man didn’t have a bad look. I licked my lips and tried to focus on the conversation at hand.
He was… frustrated.
“I could have hurt you…” A terrified expression took over. “I did hurt you. Fuck, how could I have not? I was rough.”
He made a move to climb off the bed. I reacted without thinking and wrapped my arms and legs around him from behind. “Hey, I’m okay.”
He didn’t say anything, his back tense against me. I moved my hand over to his chest and rubbed it until I felt him relax a little before reaching my hand up and cupping his cheek.
I pressed a kiss between his shoulders, a small part of me feeling happy over his reaction. Because if he was this upset over the possibility of hurting me and not knowing it…
I didn’t think I would ever have to be scared of him.
“You should have told me,” he said.
I nodded. I should have, but I wasn’t thinking. “I thought it would have been obvious.”
“How so?”
“I don’t really like to be touched.”
“I noticed that,” he commented.
I nodded. “Your touch is the only one I seem to be able to tolerate.”
“Just tolerate?”
I smiled. “Tolerate… crave… same thing.”
He shook his head. I could almost imagine him smiling. “Do you know why that is?”
I shook my head. “I don’t remember a time when it hasn’t been like that.”
Perhaps my mom might have something to do with it. I wasn’t sure. But I wasn’t going to get into that with him now. Besides, there was a more pressing matter.
“We didn’t use protection. And I’m not on birth control,” I said.
“Shit, I’m sorry, baby. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Yeah, me neither.”
“I promise I’m clean. My last physical was about a month before we met, and I haven’t touched anyone since. I’ll show you the report, okay?”
I nodded. I believed him, but I felt more at ease that he was so willing to give me the report.
“I don’t think we’re at risk of getting pregnant,” I said. At least, I wouldn’t be based on my cycle. “But we should probably use protection from now on.”
The last thing I needed was to bring a baby into this world now.
He didn’t say anything to that.
Instead, he turned me around and scooped me up in his arms.
I let out a small, surprised squeak when he stood.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“To take a shower. I just need to take care of you now and hold you close, okay?” he said, his blue eyes light with some unnamed emotion I couldn’t figure out. Still, it made my heart race in the best way possible.
“Okay,” I answered.
I didn’t say anything as I looked out the window.
I was in Reign’s apartment alone. He went to my place to pack my things for me. I knew I should have gone with him, but just the thought of setting foot back there…
I shivered.
I hated Tito for making me feel that way about my apartment. Hated him for making me feel scared and insecure right now.
Hated him for thinking he had every right to do this to me, when it had been his actions, his choices that got him hunted down by Caine.
I—
A knock came at the door, startling me out of my thoughts.
I gasped and looked at it, my heart racing with fear.
If someone were here to hurt me, they wouldn’t have knocked, would they?
I shook my head, so unsure of what I should do.
The knock came again.
It sounded urgent.
Maybe I should…
Slowly, I made my way over to the door and looked out the peephole. I stepped back in surprise, my hand reaching for the doorknob.
Should I open the door?
I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to face him just yet, but not knowing…
Slowly, I opened the door and came face-to-face with Caine.
He stared at me with that same expressionless face, and while I had always found comfort in my brother’s calmness, there was just something about him that made me feel uneasy.
I shifted a little on my feet.
“Can I come in?” he asked.
I blinked, unsure of how to answer him.
“Or we can just talk right here.”
Yeah, that didn’t sound like a better option either. I moved to the side to let him pass and closed the door behind him, suddenly feeling nervous that we were alone in this space together. I stayed there for a moment, trying to gather my bearings.
It felt like we were strangers more than anything.
I dragged my feet over to the couch where he was already sitting down.
Caine looked around the apartment as if it were this strange, foreign thing he was seeing for the first time.
“Do you want something to drink?” I asked him.
His brown eyes turned to me, flashing with something harsh and unforgiving. “Are you living here now, then? To offer me hospitality like that?”
“I’m just staying here because Tito kidnapped me from my apartment, and I am sure he also killed a man there,” I snapped, feeling all the weight I had been carrying crash down on me with his attitude.
His lips pressed together in a thin line, and he didn’t respond to me.
I let out a small, tired sigh and went over to the adjacent recliner from where he was sitting and sat down, my gaze fixed on the carpet.
While we weren’t normally talkative with each other, I had never felt like my brother was a stranger I couldn’t trust.
I felt that way now, but it was because he was working with Kingston and Reign.
I didn’t know Kingston, and a part of me—a huge part of me—hated the man as much as I feared him, but Reign… I trusted Reign, didn’t I?
And Caine was working with him, so I should trust him, right?
I didn’t fucking know anymore.
“When did you start working with the Mahankovs?” I asked.
“About six months ago.”
I hadn’t expected him to answer me at all, so his response surprised me. I looked up and saw his eyes once more. “Why? Have you thought this through? Are you really going to betray the Caparelli Famiglia? Betray Dad?”
“When have I ever done anything without thinking it through?” he asked.
I shrugged. I hadn’t thought he was the kind of man to do reckless things without thinking of every possible outcome so he could plan accordingly.
But then again, I never thought he would betray Dad either, so perhaps I didn’t really know him all that well.
“And you’re one to talk. A Caparelli in the same bed with the Mahankov spare.”
I hadn’t really thought of Reign as that, but I supposed it was true. Should something happen to Kingston, Reign would be the one to inherit the position of pakhan from his father.
“It’s different. I’m not a made man,” I said.
“But you are the daughter of a capo dei capi.”
I looked off to the side, not saying anything about that.
“Are you going to run off to Dad, then?” he asked.
I let out a dry, humorless laugh. “Tell him you’re working with Kingston so you can tell him I’m sleeping with Reign?”
Something in his expression shifted when he said, “I wouldn’t do that to you.”
And there was just something about the tone of his voice that convinced me he was telling the truth.
I brought my thumb up to my mouth and gnawed on the hangnail there, not saying anything.
He sighed and reached over, pulling my hand away from my mouth. “Tell me he’s treating you right.”
I frowned. “What would you do if he isn’t?”
“I’d kill the bastard.”
I gasped, unable to hide my response. “He’s treating me well. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“You can always come home with me,” he said.
“I don’t even know if I know you anymore,” I whispered, and for the first time, I thought I saw a small crack in his always-cold expression.
Did I hurt him?
The thought was too ridiculous to contemplate. How could I have hurt someone as strong as my brother?
“You know me,” he said tonelessly. Did I, though? We were never close. I didn’t think I had ever known the kind of person my brother was. I didn’t think there was anyone in this world who did.
I blinked and looked away from him. “You still haven’t told me why you are betraying the Caparelli Famiglia.”
“I’m not,” he said. “The Caparelli Famiglia belongs to me. And one of these days, I’ll take over.”
And the only way for that to happen was if our dad was no longer in the picture. My heart hurt, torn between my brother and my father, not knowing which side was the right side.
What could Dad have possibly done to make Caine hate him so much?
It didn’t escape me that Caine still hadn’t answered the question. He was avoiding answering me.
Was it really that bad?
“I’m fine right here,” I said. I needed to think… to figure out what the hell was going on. I also needed to find a way I could stay with Reign that wouldn’t end in bloodshed on either side, which was sure to happen if any of the men—from both Reign’s side or my side—found out about us.
“Are you sure?” he asked. A shadow passed over his face, as if he was debating how traumatizing it would be if he were to kidnap me from here.
I leaned away from him unconsciously, a move that I knew he didn’t miss.
“She’s sure,” a voice said behind us. I turned around to see Reign standing there with a bag slung over his shoulder. His eyes were hard as he stared down at Caine. “And I think you’ve spent enough time here. It’s time for you to go.”
Caine didn’t say anything for a moment, just stared back at Reign. I shifted in my seat as the energy in the room seemed to grow tense and suffocating.
Then he stood up. I stood too. He cupped my shoulder and bent down so we were at eye level and said, “My offer still stands. You can call me anytime, and I will come over to pick you up.”
I blinked at him, unsure of what to say.
My eyes shifted to Reign, who was frowning.
“Thanks,” I said. “But like I said, I think I’m okay here.”
He nodded once and straightened. I felt him squeeze my shoulder lightly before he walked out of the apartment. The door closed behind him, leaving just Reign and me here.
The bag Reign was holding fell to the floor with a thud before he made his way over to me.
“There wasn’t really a reason to kick my brother out,” I said when he got close.
“Not a reason?” he asked, sounding incredulous. “He was trying to take you away from me.”
He sat on the couch and pulled me onto his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck. “You sound so possessive when you say things like that.”
A strange look passed over his face. Then he said, “You think this is me being possessive? Oh, baby, you haven’t seen anything yet.”
I let out a small laugh, so sure he was joking. His face remained serious, and my laugh awkwardly died off.
I frowned at him. He couldn’t be serious, could he?
I shook my head.
He wasn’t. No one said things like that and meant it. I cupped his cheek, letting my palm run over the hard stubble on his jaw. “Do you know why my brother is working with you guys?”
He shrugged. “Don’t know. He might have told Kingston because that’s who he approached with this, but I wasn’t privy to the information, nor did I care.”
I leaned back and took in his face fully. “You don’t care because you don’t trust Caine.”
He didn’t admit or deny it, but he didn’t have to. I could see the answer in his eyes.
I looked down at his chest, unsure of how I was supposed to feel about this.
“Does Kingston trust Caine, then?” I asked quietly.
“He trusts Caine about as much as he can trust anyone. Which isn’t much to begin with.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. Caine was literally stuck in the middle of two enemy lines.
And no matter how much I thought about it, I just couldn’t figure out what was important enough for Caine to make such a drastic move.
Was Dad really the bad guy in this scenario, or my brother? And to some extent, Reign?