Chapter 12
CHAPTER 12
CARTER
T ired curses fly from my lips when the sun streams through my bedroom window. I should have gotten those black out curtains like I’ve been telling myself for years. Large windows are great for looking at the night sky when I need to think, but it’s shit when I’m as exhausted as I am, and the sun wakes me by stabbing its rays into my eyes.
As the doctor told me, I’ve been waking Kai up every few hours to make sure he knows who I am, who he is and what year it is. He grumbled every time I woke him, but I didn’t give a fuck. We stayed up for about an hour where I asked him random shit about his life and the world before I let him go back to sleep. Even though he wasn’t getting much sleep, he still woke up repeatedly, swinging into the air. Every time, he’d hit me and startle me awake. The last time he woke so violently, I grabbed his arms, holding him in a bear hug. He settled down immediately, sinking back into sleep. Since that seemed to work, I kept a hold of him and drifted back off. He didn’t wake up anymore throughout the night.
But I’m still fucking tired. Playing nursemaid fucking sucks.
I slap my hand on my phone when the alarm goes off, cursing and grumbling that I’m up only two hours after closing my eyes. They feel like sandpaper as I peel them open. A full night’s sleep would be great. I have to work, but I’ll bring my laptop to bed so I can watch over Kai while he’s resting.
Yawning widely, I throw my legs over the side of my bed and stretch my arms above my head. Then I turn to Kai, who’s dead to the world, one arm thrown over his chest and the other by his side.
I study him in his slumber. I’ve always thought Kai was handsome, though I never wanted to admit it. Even with the bruises on his face and his split lip, he’s still good looking. A fire stokes in my belly; seeing those injuries on him making me irrationally angry. If anyone puts bruises on him, it’ll be me, not some jerk off that wanted his wallet.
Another yawn tears from my throat as I lean over and shake Kai. “Wake up, Kai. You know the drill.”
Kai doesn’t move. I stare at him, waiting for him to open his eyes, but nothing happens.
“Kai.” I shake him again, this time a little harder. “Wake up.” He still doesn’t stir. “Don’t fuck around, Kaison. I’m not in the mood.”
I turn fully to look at him, thinking he’s gonna stop fucking with me, but he doesn’t. He just lies there, looking pale, his lips a thin slash across his face.
Grabbing his face, I turn him to me and his eyes don’t so much as flutter.
I raise my hand to slap him, but that would probably make his concussion worse. “Kai. Wake up. Wake up now!” I shake him again, but he doesn’t respond.
Not knowing what else to do, I bend down and kiss him. Well, not really kiss. More like a hard press of my lips to his to get him to respond to me.
My heart hammers against my chest when nothing happens. What the fuck? Did he slip into a coma in the night? I just talked to him. How could something change so fast? What if?—
A hand tangles in my hair and Kai opens his mouth, stroking his tongue against my lips. I sigh in relief, giving Kai the opportunity to thrust his tongue inside. I’m so relieved that I return the kiss, allowing him to hold my head to keep me in place.
Then I snap out of it and pull away. Kai whimpers, tightening his hand in my hair, trying to get at my mouth.
I pry his hand from my hair and sit back. “None of that. You got me out of your system, remember?” It’s childish to throw that in his face, but I don’t know what to think right now. The relief that flooded me when he kissed me back is so uncharacteristic that I don’t know how to respond.
Kai’s face turns to stone, and he nods gingerly. “Move. I gotta pee.” He shoves against me, practically pushing me off the bed.
I move back to allow him some space to get up. But once he takes a step, his knees buckle under him. Quickly, I stand and grab him around the waist and throw his arm around my shoulder. He tries to push me off and I slap him hard on the ass, making him yelp. “Don’t be proud,” I threaten. “Let me fucking help you.”
“I really fucking hate you,” he mutters.
“Liar.”
When we’re standing in front of the toilet, I shuffle around to lift the lid and stand beside him. Kai sways as he reaches into his pants to pull out his cock. Then his knees buckle again, and he starts to go down.
“Jesus, Kai,” I exclaim, catching him before he hits the ground. “Here, lock your knees.” I stand him up and he does what I say. He won’t be able to do this for long or he’ll pass out, so hopefully he finishes his piss soon.
Kai releases a shaky breath and fumbles with his pants. I probably shouldn’t have tied them up, but they were a little loose on his hips. I didn’t want them to slip down in the night.
Sounding like he hates to admit it, Kai sighs and says, “I can’t get the string undone. I need help.”
He doesn’t like being helpless. Since he has my head all fucked up from his kiss and how grateful I felt when he woke up, I decide to fuck with him. “You want me to help with the string or hold your dick while you piss too?”
“Both,” he taunts, looking at me over his shoulder. He’s fucking with me too.
I lock an arm around his chest to hold him in place and I reach around and undo the drawstring of his pants with a quick tug. I reach inside his underwear and pull out his soft shaft. Kai’s back goes ramrod straight, as if he didn’t expect me to actually grab his cock.
“If you’re gonna go,” I whisper into the skin of his neck, “you better do it soon.” To further fuck with him, I stroke his dick once.
“Fucking stop,” Kai says in a whisper right before he starts to urinate.
When he’s done, I shake his dick and grab a piece of toilet paper to wipe his cockhead. Then I reach around him and flush the toilet.
“Feel better?” I ask, stroking him once more for good measure.
Growling, Kai wraps his hand over mine, using me to stroke him off. “If you’re going to jerk me off, don’t fuck around. Do it right.”
It’s my turn to stiffen. I’m not supposed to have Kai like this again. He told me just once. Just one time to get me out of his system and that’s it. But I did start this game, so I’ll fucking finish it.
I drag my hand from his chest to his throat, clamping down just as I stroke him from base to tip.
Kai leans his head back against my shoulder, moaning lightly. He thrusts his hips forward and grips my thigh with his free hand. “Jesus. Carter.” His lips part, loud, panting breaths filling the air. I feel his cock grow in my hand, precum leaking from his tip.
I dip my head, nuzzling against his shoulder. “Look at you,” I murmur, darting my tongue out so I can taste his skin. “You’re a fucking slut for it, aren’t you?” I tip his head back so I can really look at him. His steel gray eyes bore into me, lust brimming in their depths as he groans with each tug of his cock.
I swipe my index finger over his lower lip, needing to feel the plump flesh. Kai’s eyes flutter as he fucks the circle of my fist.
“Look at me,” I growl, lowering my hand back to his throat and squeezing. Kai’s eyes snap open, boring into me with barely contained ecstasy. “You’re fucking perfect, baby. So fucking perfect.” Kai whimpers, staring at me as if he’s hanging on to my every word. “So good for me, you know that? Look how fucking good you’re doing for me.” Kai moans, pushing faster into my hand. “You want to come? Want to blow your load?”
“Yes,” he whispers around another groan that tears from his chest when I squeeze his cockhead. “Please.”
“Love when you beg,” I say before I close my lips around his, moving my hand faster on his dick. I dip my tongue into his mouth, tasting him. Kai moans into the kiss and I swallow the noise. Then I jerk him faster still so I can taste more of his sweet sounds.
Something inside me always reacts to Kai’s closeness. I can’t help the praise that bursts forth when I touch him. Kai may not realize it, but he gives me control easily. He might hate it when he’s in his right mind, but when I have him like this, he lets me do with his body as I please.
Kai breaks the kiss and gasps, staring at me with lust drunk eyes. “Carter,” he whimpers, his body shuddering.
“Come for me, Kaison,” I whisper against his lips, nipping at him before I dip my tongue inside for another taste. “Be good for me and come.”
A strangled sound leaves his lips, and Kai floods my hand with his cum. I continue to jerk him, pulling every wave of release from him. His legs start to buckle again, but I hold him up, milking him for all he has.
“Too much,” he murmurs, using the hand around mine to stop me from tugging on him again. “Fuck, that’s too much.”
I laugh against his neck, kissing him there once more. “I bet it is. Come on, let me clean you up.”
Making sure I have a grip on him, I reach other and pull down some toilet paper and clean my hand, then his dick. I’ll clean the toilet later. When my hand is clean, I walk Kai over to the counter, lean him against it and grab a cloth. I make quick work of cleaning his cock, watching how his half-lidded eyes track my movements.
“How’s your head?” I ask. The doctor didn’t say anything about sexual activity, but I’m sure the force of his release probably didn’t help.
He scoffs. “Don’t pretend like you care about me,” he says in a low voice.
I stop what I’m doing and look at him. “Why would you say that?”
“You know why.” That same look of hurt reflects in his eyes as it did when he was at the casino. His guard is down, so he’s showing me everything. He’s showing me all of him.
Fuck, I didn’t want to have this conversation right now, especially when he’s injured, but it’s doing things to me that he looks at me like this.
Sighing, I put the cloth on the counter and pull Kai’s pants up. I can’t talk to him while his dick is out. “I figured out you were missing because I couldn’t find you when I came to apologize. I fucked up.” I meet his gaze, wanting him to know I mean what I say. “I shouldn’t have said what I said. It’s not my business. But,” I push my hand through my hair. “But Charlie is a fucking dick, and I didn’t like how he talked about you and your company.”
Kai pulls his lips in and nods slowly. “I know what my father is. And you were right. I’ve been seeking his approval for longer than I can remember. It’s a lost cause, since I won’t pretend to be a straight man and get married to a woman and have three kids and a fucking mini poodle. But it’s so deeply ingrained that I almost can’t help it.”
I hide my surprise at his admission. Kai is like me in that regard, holding on to emotions and not letting anyone see.
But I do see him. Right now, all I see is the little boy that didn’t feel loved by his dad. I can’t fathom that. All I’ve felt from Dad was affection, respect and maybe a little exasperation, but definitely love. Growing up in this life, people say love will get you killed. Dad found a way to make sure we felt loved and also prepared for the world we grew up in.
Slowly, I put my hands on his cheeks. Kai lets out a long breath, closing his eyes at my touch. “I told Charlie he no longer gets to talk to you or ask about your company. I told him he doesn’t get to have access to you. You know why?”
He opens his eyes and shakes his head. “Why?”
“Because you’re mine, Kaison. I told you when I fucked you over my desk that I own you.”
A sardonic smile crosses his face. “I thought that was just about the sex.”
I chuckle and press my forehead to his. “Me too. But you got under my skin, Kaison St. Clair-Whitlock.” I pull back and look him in the eye. “Now tell me, how are you feeling?”
“Need to brush my teeth.”
Turning him around, I hold him up while he brushes his teeth with the toothbrush I set out for him. When he rinses his mouth, I wipe his mouth with a clean cloth. “Better?”
“Can I go lie down? My head really hurts.”
“Hold on,” I tell him, not wanting to surprise him. He nods and I scoop him up, holding him close to my chest as I walk him back to bed. Fucker is heavier than he looks, but I manage to get him to bed without much effort. He sighs when I set him on the bed and adjust his pillows.
“Come lie down with me. You’re warm.”
Chuckling, I do what he asks. “You’re needy.”
He pauses for a second. “Did you mean it?”
“Mean what?”
“That I’m yours. That you own me.”
I sit up and look down at him. “I never lie about my possessions.” Kai rolls his eyes, but a smile plays at his lips. “What do you want, Kai? Do you want to see how shit goes if we actually try to stop hating each other?”
He bites his lip, looking away for a moment. “I want to. But…” He looks at me, that vulnerability shining through again. “I’ve never…had a relationship. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
I shrug. “Neither do I. We can keep doing what we’re doing, fighting and fucking and that could be our relationship. It’s whatever we want to do. If you just want to fuck, that’s cool too. But I think our lives would be easier if we work together.” I don’t tell him how fucked up I was knowing I hurt him. I still can’t explain why I felt that way about someone I’ve hated for most of my life. Everything about this entire situation is doing my head in, but what am I going to do about it? I’m stuck with Kai until one of us dies. My life would be much easier when I go out in the world every day if I didn’t have to hate Kai as well as worry about him catching a bullet.
“I guess we can play it by ear. I still don’t like you that much. Not really.”
Laughing in a hard burst, I lie down beside him, looking at the ceiling. “Well, I like you Kaison. It’s tripping me the fuck out, but I’ll admit it.”
He looks over at me, so I do the same. “You went to my company. Looked through my books. Why?”
I shrug. “I’m an accountant. I wanted to know what the fuck Charlie was talking about, then I planned to help you get your business back in the black. But you’re way in the black.”
“Yeah, I could have told you that. Pop has been angling for my company for the past two years. Initially, I was going to sign it over, hoping he could pull me out of debt, but my accountants showed me my projected growth over five years. So, I held on.”
I turn over to my side so I can really look at him. “I wanted to talk to you about something else too.”
“What?”
“Someone is stealing from you.”
“What?” he repeats, this time with anger coloring his tone. He sits up quickly, then winces as he brings a hand to the back of his head. He lies back down, tucking his knees close to his chest as he breathes through the pain.
Sitting up, I reach out to touch him, then pull my hand back. God, why am I so fucking terrible at this? I’ve fucked him and jerked his dick—I should be able to touch him. “Relax. I shouldn’t have told you until you got better, but I wanted you to know.”
After a few more minutes, he raises his tired eyes to mine. “How do you know?”
I tell him about the discrepancies I found in his monthly income reports, as well as exactly how much was missing when I did the calculations. “With how much business you’re doing,” I say, lying back on the bed when he pulls himself out of the ball he was in, “I knew you should have at least fifty grand more than you had.”
“There are three accountants that work for me. One or more are stealing from me when I pay them well for their loyalty. When I get out of this fucking bed, I’ll take whoever is stealing from me to The fucking Fox Club.”
“What’s that?” I know the lounge that his family owns is called The Fox Club, but I can’t imagine why he’d want to have a drink with someone that’s stealing from him.
He closes his eyes and sighs tiredly. “It’s where we take anyone that fucks with us. The Fox Club has a soundproofed basement equipped with a drain in the middle of the floor. Easy clean up.”
A smile spreads across my face. “Interesting. Maybe we should get one.”
He cracks an eye open and looks at me. “We’re married now. You can use that room.” He pauses. “Want to come with me while I take care of my traitor?”
“Fuck yeah, I do.” I know I sound eager as fuck, but I’ve heard about how brutal Kai is when it comes to his victims. I’d love to see him in action. “What do you do? Torture?”
He nods. “I like knives. Slicing someone…that gets my blood singing in my veins.”
“I want to watch. I don’t usually slice people.”
“What do you do?”
Another smile lights up my face as I think about my past kills that I could take my time with. “Different things. Mainly torture them to death. I like to hear their screams.”
Kai chuckles sleepily. “Maybe this will work out after all.”
We’re silent a few beats, my mind racing a mile a minute. It almost feels…normal talking to him. Like talking to Gavin, except with real feelings somewhere in there. Kai is still a pain in my ass—he’ll probably continue to be a pain in my ass for a while yet—but this conversation with him is easy. It’ll take a minute for me to have effortless discussions with him without consciously telling myself to not lose my shit on him, but I can work at it.
From the way he’s speaking freely with me, it’s like he doesn’t have many people to talk to. I have Gavin, Dad, Declan, and a few other guys I grew up with. Who does Kai have? Nico? I never see him with any of the guys he used to hang out with when we were kids. Maybe he’s eager to have someone else.
“Kai?” he hums, adjusting himself more comfortably against my side, though we’re not cuddling. “Why were you at The Devil’s Den?”
He tenses beside me, but lets his body relax almost immediately. “I like to let off some steam sometimes when I don’t have a hookup lined up.” It’s my turn to tense.
It’s stupid and I know it, to be irritated that he’s a member of The Devil’s Den. Especially because I am too. But I don’t like the thought of him being there, playing with someone else.
“You’re gay?” Kai asks and pulls my mind from my heart thundering at his mention of a hookup. There’s no reason for me to be jealous of someone I don’t know.
“Bi,” I say. “Only a few people know.”
“Glad to be in on the secret,” Kai says dryly. I scoff.
“What about you?” he asks tiredly. “Why were you there? You got a secret kinky side I don’t know about?”
Chuckling, I glance over at him from the corner of my eye. “Maybe.”
“What’s your kink?”
Rolling over, I look at him, studying his features. His straight nose, downturned mouth, and high cheeks. “Bondage. Sensory play. Impact play. Yours?”
“Exhibitionism.” His lips lift in a smirk. “Though that’s probably out now, you cave man. I own you. You belong to me. ” I’m sure the high-pitched voice he used is supposed to be me, though I sound nothing like that. I laugh softly, not wanting to startle him so he hurts his head. “It’s nice to have an audience.”
I store that information away for later. Don’t know when I’ll need it.