Chapter 14
CHAPTER 14
KAI
“ K ai, please,” James cries as I drag the blade down his side, splitting the flesh. He thrashes hard trying to get away from my blade, but it’s no use. He’s tied up tight, mine to slice as I please. “I’m sorry. I’ll pay you back. All of it. Just…stop. It hurts.”
His screams light me up inside and I grin as I take stock of his new wound. The muscle under is visible for only a moment before blood begins to pour out of him like a fountain. I press my fingers into the wound, relishing how James howls and thrashes about.
After a few days of digging into my financials, Carter recognized a pattern in the theft. Every time James input information into the electronic records, there was a discrepancy from what he wrote manually. From the research I did after hacking into his banking app, I saw that he would then transfer that money to his personal account, spending it on bullshit. In total, James stole three hundred grand from me over two years. He probably would have continued to get away with it if he didn’t get greedy last month and this month.
He releases harsh breaths when I remove my fingers, his eyes rolling in the back of his head and his face pale from pain. I tsk at him and toss the paring knife back on the table and grab the boning knife. I can get into smaller spots with this blade, and I’m not done playing yet.
In a voice that’s almost soothing, I say, “James, you stole from me. Not once. Not twice, but over fifty times. You pocketed money that didn’t belong to you even after I paid you handsomely. You don’t think you should pay for that?” James lowers his head, thick tears leaking down his cheeks.
He twists and turns on the hook hanging from the ceiling in The Fox Club, trying to get away from me, but Manuel socks him in the mouth, making him go limp. “Thanks Manuel. His moving was starting to irritate me.”
Manuel laughs. “I know. I got you, boss.” He steps back and stands beside Carter, who watches me with heated eyes.
I’m surprised Manuel and Carter hit it off so quickly. When I introduced them, they shook hands, then starting talking about what we do down here. It was…a little disorienting, but it’s better than my husband going head-to-head with everyone I work with. I’d have to kill them all for their disrespect.
I never thought the day would come where I would put Carter over anyone. But over the past few weeks, something has shifted between us. I’m trying hard to meet him halfway in whatever this is. He has no issues pushing past whatever issues we’ve had in the past. He keeps telling me he owns me and I’m starting to believe him.
Fighting to keep the flush off my cheeks, I palm the knife and step back up to James. “Wanna tell me why you were skimming money, James? I pay you better than any accountant in the state. Well above average for any accountant anywhere, and I add in other incentives. What were you missing?”
“Nothing,” he answers with a pained groan. “I just...I wanted more.”
I jam the knife between his ribs on the left side, smiling at his shout of pain, followed by wheezing. I’m sure I punctured his lung with that. I only have a little more time to toy with him before he dies on me.
“Fuck,” Carter whispers, and I grin, even though I don’t turn around to look at him.
“He’s good at this,” Manuel tells my husband. “Slices em up just right. I’ve learned a lot.”
“You’re right about that.”
His compliments and how they talk about me shouldn’t mean so much. But fuck if it doesn’t make my chest swell.
I flick the knife around, looking for somewhere else to stick James. Just a bit more blood and I’ll feel sated. Stepping closer to him, I slowly drag the blade across the soft part of his belly, tearing open the flesh. James can barely muster a sound of anguish as he struggles to breathe.
“You made the mistake of your life when you stole from me,” I tell him in a low growl. “After all I’ve given you, you fucked me over.”
“You’re a monster,” James says, his head drooping as blood flows from every conceivable part of his body.
Grinning, I bring the knife to his neck and stab him in the jugular. His eyes widen as he jerks and thrashes, trying to tilt his neck to stem the blood. I grab him by the hair and pull his head to the side, letting the blood flow freely.
“You shouldn’t have crossed this monster then.” James looks at me with pleading eyes, gives one more gurgle, then lets out a long, harsh breath.
I turn to Manuel and Carter. “Cut him down,” I say to Manuel. He nods and grabs a butchers knife from my collection and cuts the ropes. He lets James drop to the floor without care, the body crumpling at our feet.
I walk over to the table and pick up the cleaver that is sharpened to a point. I twirl it around and hold it out to Carter. “Want to cut his hands off?”
Carter smiles and pushes off the wall. He takes the cleaver from my hand, then turns me around, pulling my back to his front. Bending down to my ear, he murmurs, “Watching you work made my dick hard.” To emphasize his point, he rolls his hips, his cock brushing against my back.
My cheeks heat, but I push him away and motion towards James’s dead body. “Keep it in your pants, Whitlock, or you’ll get DNA all over the body.” He shoots me that crooked grin I’m getting so used to. “His hands.”
Manuel and another one of my men grab James and slams his body on the table where my knives just were. Carter arranges him until he gets him in a good position to lop off his hands at the wrist. He looks at me before he brings the cleaver down. “You want to come to my dad’s house with me tonight? We have dinner every week where we talk about business and shit.” He brings the cleaver down, making a clean cut on James’s wrist.
I noticed Carter leaving around six in the evening once a week but never asked why. The only time he didn’t leave is when I was laid up in bed with a concussion.
“Dinner. With your family.”
“Yeah.” He moves to the other side of the table and chops off the other hand. “It’s just family. No one but our right-hand men. So you can bring Nico.”
I stare at him as he tosses the hand he just chopped off to Manuel so he can deliver the package to his wife. When we encounter thieves, we leave their hands for their next of kin so they know why they died. And so they can have something to bury since we torch the corpses.
We’ve been married for close to three months at this point. Why invite me to dinner now? What is their angle? Did Dominic put Carter up to this? Maybe he wants to get close to his enemy’s son.
I’m not sure what Dominic would expect to pull out of me about Pop. Even if Pop isn’t a good father, I’m loyal to my family.
I want to know what their angle is, so I nod. “Yeah, we’ll join you. I’m sure Nico won’t mind tagging along.” I drag my eyes up and down his body, taking in his dark jeans tight shirt and those heavy boots. He looks good. But a suit on him makes him fucking edible. “Wear a suit tonight for me, yeah?”
He bends down and plants his lips on mine, stealing a kiss. “Okay.”
“I feel like the sky is falling, seeing you in a suit twice in one week,” Dominic says to Carter as we step inside. “Looks like your husband is rubbing off on you.” He winks at me, then brings Carter in for a hug. “You look nice.”
“They make me itch, Dad,” Carter grumbles like a petulant child and it makes me laugh against my better judgment.
Dominic looks me over, taking in the faint bruising still on my face. “Kaison. How are you feeling, son?”
The word slips out of his mouth so effortlessly, but it makes my chest constrict. This man, from a family that’s supposed to loathe mine, has no problem claiming me as his son. Not for the first time, I wonder what my life would be like if I’d had a father like Dominic. Carter and Declan are still hard asses, not taking any shit and will shoot someone at the slightest sign of disrespect. And they grew up in a house where love was freely given.
Clearing the lump in my throat, I hold my hand out to shake his. “I’m good. Better now.”
“That’s good.” Dominic holds his hand out to Nico. “Nice to see you again, boss. Come on in. Let’s get some grub and talk.”
We all follow Dominic to a large dining room. Declan and his right-hand man are already seated. When he sees Nico, Declan’s face sets in a hard mask. He’s probably still pissed at his snarky remark on the way back from the hospital.
His eyes flick over to me, and he huffs. “Really wish you had let him die like I suggested,” Declan says to Carter.
Carter beats me to a reply. “Declan. Let me say this one time and one time only. I will fuck you up if you suggest you want my husband dead again. You got me?”
My heart flutters in my chest. Holy fuck. Carter is taking up for me against Declan? He and Declan are close, usually on the same wavelength about everything. Something about his easy defense of me has everything coming into focus. Carter really is all in.
What’s holding me back? Fear? Holding on to our rivalry, a rivalry that doesn’t matter anymore?
Declan opens his mouth as if to test him, but he thinks better of it and closes it, shaking his head with a scoff. “Whatever. Where’s dinner?”
“Why don’t you go check,” Dominic says with a glare, “instead of pissing everybody off before we even sit down? Christ, Declan. Me and ya Ma raised you with more manners than that.” Dominic face flashes with pain and Carter lays his hand on his shoulder and squeezes gently.
I heard about Carter’s mother being killed when they were kids. That’s when the streets were filled with bodies and the FBI came to our little slice of Jersey, trying to get to the bottom of why so many bodies were piled in the morgue. Dominic killed everyone that was involved with his assassination attempt and his wife’s death himself. No one was allowed to pull the trigger. From that time period alone, Dominic was responsible for eighteen bodies.
It’s hard for me to wrap my head around loving someone that much. That kind of love is unfathomable. Would I ever lose my mind and kill a fucking baseball team of people for someone? I glance over at Carter. I don’t think so, but my feelings for him are blurring. So, I’m not so sure. I’m not sure I want a love that deep either.
Declan doesn’t say anything, just leaves the dining room with a huff. His right-hand man, Hendrix I think his name is, follows behind him, a smirk on his face. He must be used to this behavior.
Carter sits down and motions for me to take the seat beside him. “Declan won’t start more shit. He’s pissy because he’s not getting attention anymore.”
“Your brother has been a pain in my ass for years. I’m sure it’s not going to stop now,” I say to Carter. He grunts.
Shortly after, Declan and Hendrix come back out carrying a few platters, followed by the staff of the house. They set everything down and Dominic declares, “Dig in everyone.”
Having dinner at the Whitlock house is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. There’s conversation, jokes, fucking laughter . When I had dinner with Pop, we’d sit in silence until he told me what I needed to do and how I was making the family look bad. This dinner is nothing like those awful experiences.
About thirty minutes later, the table is cleared, and dessert is set out in front of us. Cheesecake and ice cream.
Dominic picks up his spoon and eats a bite of cake. “So, Kai,” he says before he swallows his food. “How’s married life treating you?”
“You’re son is an overbearing pain in my ass,” I answer honestly, though I can’t help the smile on my face.
Dominic barks a laugh. “Yeah, his Ma said the same about me. He gets that from his old man.” His chest puffs out with pride as he looks at Carter. Then his smile drops. “Look, I know this situation ain’t ideal and this is the last place you wanna be. But we’re family now. You’ll always be family. No matter what.”
There’s that damn lump in my throat again. I don’t think I can clear it without drawing attention to the fact that I’m choked up, so I just nod and shove some ice cream in my mouth.
For as long as I can remember, our families haven’t gotten along. Dominic and Pop traded shots literally and figuratively. They’d buy businesses out from under each other, steal each other’s customers, kill each other’s men. But now, I’m sitting at the table with him, breaking bread and he says I’m family. I might be a fool, but I don’t think he’s bullshitting me. I think when I tied myself to Carter, no matter if it’s for survival or not, he started to see me as his son.
It feels good but it also hurts. I had to do nothing but take Carter’s last name for Dominic to see me as a son. My own father thinks I’m an inconvenience, only serving the purpose of taking on the family name when he retires or dies. To Pop, I’m nothing.
We finish up dinner, which was actually a lot of fun. Besides Dominic choking me up, I got to know Dominic and Declan more. Declan grudgingly spoke to me, glowering at me most of the time, but everyone joined in the conversation. I’m sure Pop would never extend an invitation to Carter or anyone in the Whitlock family.
While Carter is saying goodbye to his family, Nico and I wait by the front door. “Dominic is different than I thought he’d be,” Nico comments.
I agree. While it’s obvious he’s a hard assed man and will kill anyone for any reason he deemed worthy, he also has this whole other side to him that’s funny and kind of loving. It’s not what I expected from the stories I’ve heard about him, but I think that makes him a better man.
Declan and Hendrix brush past us, with Declan giving Nico a scathing look. Nico’s face is impassive, following Declan with his eyes. Before Declan turns away, Nico winks at him. My brother-in-law’s face turns tomato red, and he scowls before he storms out. Hendrix looks back with a raised eyebrow and Nico shrugs. So much in that exchange without words.
“Leave him alone, Nico,” I chide.
“I did nothing.” But knowing Nico and how he knows he’s getting under Declan’s skin, he’ll continue to taunt him. I’m not sure if that will result in a bullet to his brain or an explosive night. Either way, he needs to be careful with Declan.
Carter and Dominic follow behind them a few seconds later. Instead of shaking my hand, Dominic brings me in for a quick one-armed hug. “Come back next week, son. I’d love to have you both.”
Again with the son.
“I’ll be here. Thanks Dominic,” I say, sounding halfway normal.
He bids us goodnight and we head home.
Nico breaks off from us when we get back to the house and heads upstairs, bidding us good night as he goes to his room.
When we step inside our space, I grab Carter’s hand and pull him close to me. He wraps his arms around my waist without hesitation and I sigh against him when I hold him tight.
Tonight showed me that I might be worth it. Maybe not to Pop or even most of the St. Clair family, but to Carter, to Dominic, I am.
Carter tucks his head into my shoulder and breathes me in. “You smell like me. You smell like mine. ”
I shudder in his arms as he kisses all over my neck and sucks marks into me. I should tell him to stop. I shouldn’t want his ownership branded into my skin, but it feels so fucking good and I’m so fucking raw right now. I need Carter to put me back together; to make everything feel better so I don’t walk around with this weight sitting on my chest. The weight of knowing that someone thinks I’m worth it, that someone wants me.
He pulls back, looking down at me as he cups my cheek. “You okay?”
Going for honesty, I shake my head. “But you can make me better right?” I push his jacket from his shoulders, and it pools to the floor.
Carter takes my lips in a hard kiss, shoving his tongue into my mouth to lick at me. I moan into him, my chest feeling lighter now that his mouth is on mine. He maneuvers me to the bed, not removing his mouth for even a second.
After we tumble onto the bed, Carter snatches his mouth from mine. “Get undressed,” he pants, bending down to kiss me once more. “I’ve been dreaming about this ass for weeks.”
I kick off my shoes and scramble out of my clothes. Carter watches me with a faint grin on his face while taking his time getting naked.
“Look at you,” he says, kneeling on the bed in front of me, dragging his hand down my chest. “I’d love to see my name tattooed. Right here.” He places his hand over my heart, and I’m sure he feels how hard it starts thumping at his suggestion.
That would be the ultimate sign of ownership. It would show me, him, and the world that he claims me, that he wants me.
It would show them that I’m his.
“Okay,” I whisper, licking my lips nervously. “Okay.”
His eyes flare. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Fuck, you don’t know how fucking hot that is.” He grabs my hand and puts it on his chest. “Yours will be here. Because you own me too.”
My breath stutters in my chest and my eyes well with tears. Fuck, how does he know what to say? How does he know what I want to hear? Carter is so sure of what we have, so confident that he wants to be with me. I’ve never really had anything of my own before. Material things sure, but nothing like Carter. Nothing like my husband.
Fuck it. I’m jumping off the cliff with him. I’m not going to keep questioning things. What’s the point? Carter won’t let me go.
And I don’t want him to.
“Okay,” I whisper again.
Carter kisses me again, then climbs off the bed and goes to his nightstand rummaging around until he pulls out the lube.
He makes quick work of stretching me out, fucking me with his fingers. He watches my every move, cataloging my every exhalation, every moan, every twitch.
“You sound like a fucking dream, baby,” Carter croons as he removes his fingers. “But now I want you to scream for me. I’m going to fuck you hard enough to make you hoarse. I want you fucking wrecked when I’m done with you.”
I’m wrecked now just listening to him.
He flips me over and pulls my hips off the bed, then pushes my face down onto the mattress. “You look good like this.” Carter slaps my ass, both cheeks stinging from his swats.
“Fuck,” I moan, pushing back for more.
“Oh, I see what you like, baby. Don’t worry. We’ll play one day. For now, I need in you. I’ll take my time later.”
With that, Carter slams into me to the hilt. My mouth opens in a strangled scream, my breath caught in my chest. So good. Feels so fucking good. My ass clenches around him, sucking him in as far as he’ll go.
“Damn, Kai.” He rolls his hips, thrusting into me. “This ass belongs to me.” He grips my waist tight, fucking me hard.
“Yes,” I groan, bouncing my ass back on his cock. “Tell me…how good…I am.”
It’s ridiculous to want him to praise me, but his words always wake up some part of me that makes me feel warm. It makes my entire body come alive. I fucking bloom for him when he tells me I’m good for him.
Carter pulls me up until my back is to his chest, holding me close as he fucks me deep. “You’re so good for me, Kai. Always so good. You’re good at taking my cock. Good at making me come. So fucking good.” He punctuates all his sentences with a deep stroke that knocks against my prostate deliciously.
“Yes, Carter. Yes. Please.”
He reaches down and grasps my dick, jerking me hard and fast. “I love it when you say my name. Love when my pretty baby begs for me.”
“Oh fuck. Oh god. Carter, fuck!” Pleasure licks down my spine and settles into my balls. One more tug on my dick and I’m coming all over the bed, my cock spraying rope after rope of my release in front of me.
Carter bites into my shoulder, groaning as he fucks me harder. The sound of skin slapping fills the room, amplifying my pleasure. My sensitivity doesn’t even matter as I absorb his strokes, his big cock stretching my walls to their limits.
His teeth sink harder into my shoulder as he growls. The sound burrows into my ears, sending another, harder orgasm buzzing through me. I curse and whine as more cum shoots out of me, coating Carter’s fist.
“Your ass is squeezing my dick, baby. Fuck, I’m coming.” He grunts loudly and comes on a shudder. His cum coats my ass, warming me from the inside. His teeth clamping back around my shoulder as he thrusts lazily into me.
I moan tiredly, my throat fucked from my moaning. “Thank you,” I whisper. I’m not only thanking him for fucking me senseless and for giving me the praise I crave, but also for making it okay to move through our past and be something…more. Something else. Something new.
I’m not sure what’s going to happen between us in the future. There’s someone trying to exterminate both of our families, intent to see us in the dirt. But right now, in this room with Carter, none of that matters. All that matters is us. Me and him. Our union, our pairing, our marriage. Everything else is background noise.
Carter sighs, his warm breath drifting over my shoulder, where his teeth marks are embedded in my skin. “Anything for you, Kaison.”
He rests his head between my shoulder blades and breathes in deeply. It’s not the first time he’s done something like that, and I like it more than I should say.
“You smell so good, Kai. You smell like me.”
“You’re obsessed with me,” I say with a lazy chuckle.
“I am.”
I’m at a loss on what to say, but Carter doesn’t seem to mind. He kisses the back of my neck lightly, then pulls out of me. I groan at the feeling of emptiness, wanting him back inside me.
A hiss flows from my lips as he pushes three fingers inside my hole, fucking them in and out of me slowly. “Love seeing my cum leaking out of this pretty hole. I want to fill you every day.” He gets down on his knees, still fingering my sensitive pucker. “Fuck, you’re gaping, baby.”
One minute, he’s pegging my prostate with his thick fingers. The next, his tongue takes their place, licking inside me slowly.
“Carter. Oh fuck,” I groan, pushing back against his face. “Yes. Christ!”
His warm, wet tongue tunnels through me, licking along my swollen and sore entrance. He licks from my balls to my crack, collecting his release, then spitting it back against my hole just to repeat the motion. I’m fucking dizzy with pleasure.
Warm hands spread me open as he devours me. I gyrate my hips, ecstasy rocketing through me. I don’t think I can come again, but the feel of his thick tongue pressing into me and lapping me up is too good to tell him to stop.
When he’s had his fill, Carter flips me onto my back and blankets me with his body. I land in the wet spot, but I couldn’t give a fuck. Feeling Carter’s leaner body arched over me has me forgetting everything but him.
He brings his mouth down to mine and opens, his cum dribbling from his mouth into mine. I lap it up, then pull him down to me, trading his taste and my flavor back and forth until I swallow.
A long moan leaves my lips as I drink him down when his cock burrows back into me.
“Fuck, Kaison. I can’t get enough of you,” he groans as he pushes his dick as far into me as he can. “So fucking slick. So warm. Because of me. You’re soaked with my cum, pretty baby.” A shiver rolls through me at being called pretty. And he knows it.
Carter smiles down at me as he pounds me into the mattress. That smile twists into one of pleasurable pain, the muscles in his neck standing out in sharp relief. “Christ, I’m going to come. Dammit, Kai. I can’t… fuck! ” He stills over me, biting his lower lip.
When his balls are empty, he collapses on me. I chuckle, wrapping my legs around him more snugly. Carter turns his head and takes my mouth in a lazy kiss.
“You take my dick really well. I don’t think I’ve ever fucked anyone that hard before.”
“Probably because you haven’t hated anyone you’ve fucked before.”
His grin is soft as he looks down at me, pushing strands of my hair from my face. “I don’t hate you anymore, Kai. I told you, I like you.”
“Why?” I ask. I really need to know the answer so I can figure out what the fuck I’m feeling. I want to know if it makes sense to him that he made a complete one eighty when it comes to me.
Carter tilts his head as he looks down at me. “You’re my husband. Better to let go of the hate for you so I don’t live miserably in my own home.”
“That’s it?”
I know he’s going to say something completely unserious when his mouth tips up in that crooked smile I like so much. “And because you’re pretty.”
Scoffing—even though my limbs tingle from the compliment—I push against his chest. “Get off. I have cum on my back.”
He chuckles and pulls out of me. I immediately feel his seed leaking from my hole. It feels good. “Let’s shower. We can change the sheets when we get back to bed.”
We don’t waste time in the shower. I’m exhausted and we both have to work in the morning. Carter washes my back to clean off my cum and kisses the back of my neck, but that’s about it. Before we get out, I make sure my hole is pretty much clean of his spunk so I’m not leaking in the middle of the night.
Once out of the shower, we get dressed and change the sheets on the bed. Carter has a small smirk on his face as he looks at the sheets, seemingly proud of his work. I roll my eyes at him.
Bed made, we lie down on our backs, looking at the ceiling. I’m tired, wanting to get to sleep, but I can’t stop thinking about Dominic and the look on his face when he mentioned Carter’s mom.
“Carter?” He hums in the dark. “What happened to your mom?” He tenses beside me, but I don’t take the question back. I’m sure it may have come up in the future, but I want to know right now.
He’s quiet for a while. I know he hasn’t fallen asleep, judging from the calming breaths he’s taking. I’m not sure where he went in his head, but I’m not going to break the silence to ask. If he doesn’t want to answer, he doesn’t have to. But the question is out there.
Finally, he says, “Dad was having issues with some guys from Virginia. We had the same heroin connect and they’d run into each other every now and then. I guess they wanted to expand and instead of trying to work with Dad, they figured a hostile takeover was the best option.”
I remember that time, though vaguely. Pop was telling our men to steer clear of the trouble with the guys from Virginia. They came to Jersey to buy up any real estate they could but never got further than a few commercial buildings before everything came to a head.
Clearing his throat, he continues. “They sent my dad his brother’s hand when they caught Uncle Anton alone with his mistress in a hotel room. Then they sent him pieces. Dad decided then to go to war. He wanted to keep the streets clean to avoid collateral damage. But when my uncle was killed, he said fuck it and marshaled all of our people to squash the family both here and in Virginia. Before he could, they caught us leaving the house.”
He swallows audibly, probably thinking back to a time when he thought he was safe. When he thought everything would be okay. But that was shattered by bullets in the night.
“We were run off the road,” he says in a voice so low, I have to strain to hear him. “Our driver died on impact, from bullets or the accident itself we could never tell. The men with us tried to stop the shooters, but there were too many. My mom, she shielded me and Declan, making sure no bullets hit us. When she saw Dad still passed out from the impact, she brought him over to us, covering him as well. Bullets…tore through her back. She didn’t have a chance.”
“Fuck,” I whisper into the dark. I knew she was killed, but I never knew how close he was to meeting the same fate with her.
He continues as if I didn’t say anything. “Right after the last bullet embedded itself in her body, Dad regained consciousness. I guess the knowledge that the love of his life was shot and killed was enough to give him some kind of super strength. He was able to kill every single man that was shooting at our car. All except one.” He swallows again, but I can hear the smile in his voice. The sheer pride makes me smile too. “One was mine. The first man I killed was in revenge of my mother.”
“How old were you?”
“Ten.”
My eyes widen as I look over at him. “Ten? Jesus. I didn’t get my first body until I was thirteen.”
“Well, I am better than you, Kaison,” he says and looks at me and shoots me a wink. His smile drops as he finishes. “I didn’t have a choice. When Dad got out of the car to return fire, one of the guys was creeping up behind him. I couldn’t let them kill my dad too. So, I found the gun on my dad’s bodyguard and I shot him.
“After that,” he says, “Dad went kind of out of his mind for a bit. He killed every man and woman that came from Virginia, then went to their home base and killed them all too. There is no one left from that family. No one who can seek revenge on Dad. The family will be forgotten and it’s no more than they deserve.”
Dominic is a fucking bad ass. To kill for the person you love like that is…kind of unhinged, but the ultimate sign of love.
“Do you miss her?” I whisper, not looking at him because I don’t think I can stand the pain that will more than likely be etched on his face.
The long exhale he releases makes my heart clench. “Everyday. She was a good mother. Tough as fuck and she knew what this business was about. She’s the one that taught me how to fire a weapon.”
“No shit?”
“No shit,” he says with a chuckle. “She was perfect for Dad. They were perfect together.” The bed shifts as he turns to me. I turn on my side to look at him as well. “What about your mom? I’ve never seen your dad with anyone.”
I shrug. “I don’t know who she is. All Pop told me is she burdened him with me before I turned one.”
Carter winces. “That’s fucked up. Are you sure you’re Charlie’s? You two are nothing alike.”
“I’m sure. He got a DNA test done as soon as she dropped me off. And he’d agree that I’m nothing like him. Especially because I like dick.”
He rolls his eyes. “So do I. Do you want to find your mom?”
“Nah. No need. I’m twenty-five years old. She had twenty-four years to find me. Not like she doesn’t know where I am. I’m not missing out on anything by her not being around.”
That’s the truth. It’s shitty that she left me with someone like Pop, but she didn’t want me. I don’t wish she was around like I wish Pop was.
The words that come out of my mouth aren’t supposed to. They’re supposed to stay put, my secret from the world. But Carter has my guard down. He shared so much with me about his mother; turnabout is fair play, I suppose. “I’m not sure why what Pop thinks about me is so important. I know being gay doesn’t make me less than and I get respect from everyone because I don’t take shit and will kill without a second thought. But over the years, hearing him repeatedly tell me I’m an embarrassment to the family name makes me want to show him I can carry the St. Clair family and do a damn good job at it.”
Carter’s warm hand lands on my cheek and I close my eyes at his touch. My heart that was just hammering in my chest slows to a steady thump.
“Look at me, Kaison.” I flick my eyes open and meet his gaze. “Fuck Charlie. Fuck him and all his bullshit. You don’t need him. You’re a Whitlock now. What you do is for our family. You understand?”
A smile tugs up my lips at his word. Carter and I are family. The St. Clair-Whitlocks. It’s us, me and him. “I think I like you too, Carter.”
The deep rumble of his laughter makes me smile wider. “I know you do. I’m fucking irresistible.”