Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
BILLIE
“You don’t need to rush into making a decision, sweetheart. You could be back in college within a few months. Paying rent and caring for Blake while trying to study might prove to be too much.”
Mom eyes me over her mug, taking a sip while she awaits a response. We’ve been apartment-hunting all morning and stopped by a cute café in the local area for coffee and the best cakes in downtown Brooklyn.
I’ve been living with my parents for over a month, and I already need my own space.
Sure, living at home is cheaper and saves money, but Tucker’s financial contribution would help toward some of the rent on my own place, and Dad has offered to cash in shares to pay off my student finances and cover living costs until Blake is old enough and I’m ready to find a job.
Ordinarily, I’d turn down Dad’s offer and tell him to keep the investment, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and I need to start rebuilding my life—something I can’t do while I’m cooped up in my childhood bedroom.
Mom and I both know I’m not heading back to college anytime soon, regardless of whether I study in Austin or Brooklyn. It’s time to acknowledge my reality.
“Just because I won’t be living at home doesn’t mean I won’t come by all the time with Blake. You can still care for her whenever you want. I just …” I drop my eyes to the wooden table in front of me, breaking off a piece of brownie.
Mom studies me for a beat, exhaling a long breath. “It’s only been a matter of weeks, Billie. You’ve barely found your feet, and I’m concerned that you’ll be lonely, living by yourself in the center of town.”
Earlier today, we found the perfect one-bedroom apartment with exposed brickwork and beams. It’s not set in the fanciest part of Brooklyn, but it has character and charm, and it’s perfect for Blake.
The landlord explained that a single woman had lived in the apartment for over a year without any trouble or safety issues.
The rental was reasonable for the area, and it just felt like home when we walked in.
I want to go for it and move straight in.
Dad’s all for it; the only skeptic is sitting in front of me, staring down into her coffee mug.
I reach out and take Mom’s hand in mine, glancing briefly at Blake as she continues sleeping in her stroller. Her colic attacks have thankfully eased over the past week, making my decision to move out an easier one to reach.
“I’m not going back to college, Mom. At least not yet anyway.
My life has changed, and so have I.” I squeeze her hand tighter, silently asking her to look at me.
“And I think I’m okay with that. Blake has to come first, and right now, I can’t give her everything she needs because I spend too much of my time locked away in the house, too far from civilization and places like this.
” My eyes rove the cute café. “I know I have you and Dad, but I’m already lonely, confined to a small bedroom in the suburbs.
I need to get out and make new friends and then start searching for jobs as soon as I can. ”
Mom analyzes our joined hands. “I’m worried about you living in a strange place.”
I shrug. “If I don’t make a change, my mental health will go downhill. A chance to stand on my own two feet was one of the reasons why I chose Austin.”
She nods like she gets it.
Mom is an only child, like Dad, and both are fiercely independent. I think that’s why they accepted it when I chose not to travel home much when I was at college. Instead, they’d fly to visit me when they could afford it.
“What will you do for work?”
I twist my lips, no clue what the future holds. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll be a server in a place like this.” I smirk at her. “Or become a bank teller.”
She looks horrified. “No way. The hours suck, and the pay is even worse. You have the whole world at your feet, Billie. And you know Dad and I will help care for Blake whenever you need.”
Emotion stings my eyes, and I release Mom’s hand to take a bite of brownie, the salty-chocolate goodness helping to fix a smile on my face.
“I know, and thank you. When Blake is old enough, I’m going to research nurseries, and Tucker will have to contribute his share.
” I clench my jaw, determined to believe what I’m saying. “I’ll figure everything out.”
Mom still looks unsure before she finally asks, “When are you going to reach out to the landlord and pay the deposit on the apartment?”
“Right away,” I tell her. “Dad says the money is ready when I need it, and I don’t want to miss out.”
She shifts in her seat. “I’m mad at your father.”
Mom may be the kindest, sweetest woman I know, but she can also be the scariest.
I lift a brow. I know she’s already annoyed that he neglected to change the tires on his van, and the insurance is refusing to pay out on the accident which is only adding to their financial woes.
That said, a part of me feels indirectly responsible for what happened.
If Dad hadn’t been so distracted by the bullshit going on in my life, he might’ve paid more attention to servicing his van. “What’s he done now?”
She clears her throat and tears at the untouched croissant in front of her.
“I had no clue what he’d done with the shares or how many he actually owned, until he suddenly told me the value of what he’d cashed in.
Apparently, they’d shot up in value, and he saw it as the perfect opportunity to help you and Blake out.
He’d told me years ago that he stopped paying into the share scheme when he left his previous job.
” Her face contorts. “I would’ve preferred to have been kept in the loop and not had a bomb dropped on me while casually making dinner. ”
“A pretty nice bomb,” I reply, although I understand why she’d be irked at the secret. They’ve always had an open and honest marriage, so it was a shock for me too.
“He said that he wanted to surprise me with the additional shares he’d bought when we both eventually retired. His plan was to take me on the trip of a lifetime with some of the money.” Her eyes flick to mine. “I’m pleased we’re using the cash on something more important.”
More guilt swims through my veins, forcing me to look away for a moment. No one deserves all the things life has to offer more than my hardworking parents.
“I promise that I’ll make the most of your money,” I tell her.
When she retakes my hand, I know it’s a plea for my attention.
“So long as you’re happy, Billie, then that’s payment enough for us.
Anyway”—she chuckles—“when you’re a high-flying lawyer, dominating the world, you’ll be able to afford whatever you like.
Including a two-week break in Mauritius for us both. ”
The sudden chime of a bell ringing above the café door grips my gaze, but it’s not the sound that steals my attention. That award goes to the pink-haired beauty dressed in motorcycle leathers.
Tucking a black helmet underneath one arm, she casually strolls toward the counter, waving hi to who I assume is the owner. Every customer—male and female—in the place has their eyes on her as Mom swivels one-eighty in her chair.
“She’s … quite something,” she comments, turning back to look at me, eyes wide with awe. “Freaking stunning in fact.”
As the biker chick places her order at the counter, a sense of familiarity settles over me, almost like I’ve seen her somewhere before.
“She’s absolute goals,” I agree with Mom. “A true queen.”
Mom pushes her chair back, flicking her eyes to her granddaughter. “Well, while everyone’s busy staring at the runway model at the front, I’m heading to the bathroom.”
In my mom’s absence, I take another sip of coffee, pulling out my phone to check for messages.
Clara
I don’t know if you already found out, but I didn’t want you to hear this via anyone else.
Tucker is dating Rachael Fowler. They made it official last night on socials.
Like Blake can sense my distress, she releases a small whimper, and I set my phone on the table before lifting her, along with her pink cashmere blanket, out of the stroller and resting her against my chest.
After a couple of beats, she settles, and I pick up my phone, navigating back to the text thread with Clara.
Me
I hadn’t heard, and she’s welcome to him.
I hit Send and swipe underneath my left eye.
“He doesn’t deserve your tears.”
Taking a seat next to Mom’s empty chair, the pink-haired girl sets her helmet down on the table and proceeds to spread a thick cream on what I think is a scone before smearing strawberry jelly on top.
I remain transfixed until I finally croak out, “Excuse me?”
She lifts her deep brown eyes to mine, her winged black eyeliner applied to perfection.
“I said that he isn’t worth your tears. Crying over an asshole feeds his audacity. The only emotion a man is entitled to pull from a woman is joy.” She winks suggestively. “If you catch my drift.”
Despite myself, a bubble of laughter bursts from my chest, garnering a smile from her in turn.
“That’s better …” She pauses, waiting on me to supply a name.
“Billie,” I say and then point to Blake as my daughter peacefully stares up at me with inquisitive eyes. “And this is Blake.”
She sets her knife down and wipes her hands together, offering one out to me. “Collins.”
“That’s your first name?” I ask, liking that we both have uncommon names.
She just smiles. “It is.”
Supporting Blake with one arm, I pick up my coffee and take a sip.
“So, am I right?” she asks, getting straight to the point. “Are your tears being wasted on a douchebag?”
“Exactly right.” My confident response catches me off guard, almost like this girl’s directness is contagious.
Collins nods once, taking a first bite of scone and closing her eyes as she swallows. “Thought so.” She tips her head in the direction of the restrooms. “Is that your mom?”
Collins must’ve clocked who I was sitting with when she first entered the café.
I feel my cheeks heat before confirming, “Yeah.”
She tips her head to one side, eyes narrowing a fraction. “What’s wrong about being seen out with your parents?”
I set a kiss in the center of Blake’s head; her soft hair is always a soothing sensation.
“Nothing’s wrong with it,” I reply. “I’m just not supposed to be here.
” I motion with my chin toward Blake. “In Brooklyn, with a baby. I should be thinking about my senior year in college, basking in the Texas sun.”
For a second, I worry that my statement sounds ungrateful for what I have when, truthfully, I couldn’t be more thankful to have Blake in my life.
I set my eyes back on Collins, hoping she will understand what I’m trying to say.
Her knowing smile unravels the knot of tension forming between my shoulder blades.
“But isn’t that what’s great about life?” Her voice is full of wonder as she casts her eyes around the café, packed to the brim with customers. “I personally love it when life throws you lemons or a curveball.”
“Why is that?”
She leans forward, lowering her voice. “Because that’s when you find out who your real people are.
” When she sits back in her chair, a slow smile creeps across her face.
“When the going gets rough, those around you—old and new in your life—show themselves for who they really are. Including yourself. You discover the depths of your determination and strength.” She tips her chin at Blake.
“Her father is the one responsible for your tears, right?”
I roll my eyes at thoughts of Tucker and Rachael linking hands around campus. She was always after him, and she was one of the main girls who started up the cheating rumors. She was likely telling the truth and sleeping with him long before we broke up.
“How did you guess?”
Collins takes another bite of scone and waves her hand like she’s dismissing the mere thought of my ex-boyfriend.
I snort a laugh at her disdain.
“Call it female intuition.” She clicks her tongue. “My best advice? Focus on those around you who are showing up right now. They are the people who count.”
It doesn’t take much for images of Emmett to appear, along with a sensation of his rough palm against mine.
We’ve barely spoken since that day at Prospect Park, the whole trip coming to an awkward end when I made the biggest fool of myself—pretty much asking him if there had ever been something between us.
What the fuck was I thinking?
I grimace at the memory and look over at Collins as she stirs sweetener into her coffee. “I think I already screwed up my friendship with one of those good people.”
She lifts a single unaffected shoulder. “Well, if you have, then they likely weren’t your person in the first place.”
I quickly glance over at the restrooms to see Mom stepping out, on the phone, lifting her finger in the air at me.
With at least a couple more minutes of privacy, I decide to take advantage and divulge my fuckup to a complete stranger who, to be honest, I trust more than most people I’ve known for years.
“What if I told you that the person I screwed up with is fourteen years older than me, happens to be my dad’s best friend, and his ex-wife is tight with my mom?” I decide to leave out the part where he’s a famous NHL player.
Collins’s eyes grow to the size of the saucers set on the back wall of the café. “You slept with him?”
I shake my head quickly. “No. No, I didn’t sleep with him.” I cringe at her. “But I did ask him if there was something between us.” I cringe. Again. “And then things got a little awkward and I wanted to vanish into thin air right there and then.”
She just chuckles and sips her coffee. “So, he’s the hot older-uncle type, huh?”
My nod says it all.
She quirks an interested brow. “And you say his ex-wife is tight with your mom?”
I nod again.
She makes an excited sound, and I blow out a laugh.
“Girl, you have got to fuck him.”
My eyes drop to Blake, who is now thankfully sleeping.
Collins mouths an apology at me before continuing her ramble.
“Forbidden naughtiness is the best kind. If things got awkward between you both the other day, it’s probably because there’s truth in what you asked.
” She points to her stomach. “Gut feelings never lie, and I’m telling you that he’s one thousand percent digging that hot bod of yours.
” She winks, and I flush. “If he’s single and so are you, have some fun.
You can’t help who you find attractive.”
Her advice is either the best or worst I’ve ever received. There is no middle ground when it comes to what she’s said.
I roll my lips together, just as Mom ends her call and makes her way back to us.
My eyes connect with Collins, a rare shot of excitement pulsing through me. “I’ll give you one thing, Collins.”
Her smile turns devilish. “Oh, yeah? And what’s that?”
I respond with my own filthy grin. “You sure know how to play with fire.”