Chapter 9
Blake
Apiercing wail rips me from sleep, making my ears ring as I jolt upright. My eyes dart to my laughing housemate and the fucking air horn in his hand.
I slam my hands over my ears as he blows it again.
“What the fuck?” I curse, glaring at Everett, Zac, and our ex-teammate, Alex Ritter, who are crowded in my room.
“Time to get up, arsehole,” Everett says with a grin, kicking my bed. “We’re staging an intervention.”
“Fuck off.” I drop back onto my pillows and rest my forearm over my eyes. “I don’t need a goddamn intervention.”
Someone kicks my bed again, and then my sheets are ripped off me. Thankfully, I’m wearing boxers, otherwise they would have copped more than they bargained for.
“Let’s go, sunshine,” Ritter says, dropping onto my mattress next to me. “I’ve come all the way from Sydney for this. I thought we were mates.”
“What have these arseholes told you?” I ask, running a hand over my face.
“That you’re a grumpy bastard who’s a nightmare to live with,” my housemate deadpans. “Wanna tell him I’m lying?”
I wish I could.
It’s been three weeks since I slept with my masked pixie and fucked up my head even more.
I don’t know why I thought sleeping with her would get her out of my system.
The addictive personality I inherited from my dad is why I gave up drugs, I don’t smoke, and I’m careful with how much alcohol I consume.
I learnt that lesson the hard way—detoxing is the worst, and it nearly killed me the first time around.
Having one more hit of her to forget was messed-up logic, but no one ever accused me of being smart.
I’m miserable.
If I thought it was bad after I kissed her, spending time with her and having her body wrapped around mine has made things a hundred times worse. Watching her drive away after our night together damn near brought me to my knees.
When I haven’t been at school, training, or games, I’ve been working myself into the ground at the gym until I’m too tired to think about her.
Has it worked?
Fuck, no.
I can’t help looking for her on the streets of Beckford, wondering what she’s doing, where she is, who she’s with. My obsession has pretty much consumed my every waking moment.
How did I let this happen?
I’ve spent the last eleven years keeping people at a distance, not letting them inside these walls I’ve built.
If I don’t let anyone in, I can’t hurt them.
Seeing the fear mixed with disappointment in my sister’s eyes, and knowing I put it there, made me realise I’m defective. I refuse to turn into my father.
Two nights with this woman, and every resolution and every plan I had for my life has gone up in smoke. She doesn’t even know she’s taken a sledgehammer to every brick I’ve placed around my dead heart—a heart that died with my mother.
I don’t even know who she is, and I’ve got nothing to fucking go on to find her. No name. No way of contacting her, and I know there’s no way she’ll set foot in Euphoria again. It’s not her scene. I got lucky once; it won’t happen again.
This has to be a punishment for my past. Tease me with something good, then rip it right out from underneath me. I don’t deserve to have someone like her in my life.
Fuck, I’m pathetic.
No wonder my housemate, teammates, and friends are sick of my shit.
“What’s the plan other than dragging me out of bed this early on a Saturday?” I groan.
“I’m here for the weekend, and you’ve got a game tomorrow, so we’re gonna make the most of today,” Ritter chirps. “Go shower, dude. You stink.”
“Why are we friends again?” I ask, flipping him off.
“Because we’re the only ones who put up with your grumpy arse.”
“Oh, and here I thought it was because I carried you all to a championship last year,” I shoot back.
Everett snorts. “Someone thinks highly of himself.”
I smirk at him. “The stats don’t lie.”
Zac, the pragmatic one of our group, shakes his head at our banter. “I’ll admit, whatever’s going on with you has been good for your game, but there’s more to life than soccer.”
“I’m sure your boyfriend would love hearing that.” My words fall flat because right now I’d give up soccer if it meant I could have another shot with her. Whoever she is.
Shoving Ritter off my bed, I get up and head for my ensuite bathroom. “You fuckers better be out of here when I get out of the shower, or you’ll be copping an eyeful.”
“You’ve got ten minutes,” Everett warns, checking his watch. “Then all bets are off.”
I flip him off as the guys trail out of my room.
It’s seven in the goddamn morning. What the hell have they got planned that has them dragging my arse out of bed this early?
We have a game against our rivals tomorrow.
We need to be on our A-game to beat BHU.
With the way my head is at the moment, spending time with people is going to mentally drain me.
I hadn’t planned on leaving my room except to go to the gym for a light workout before lunch.
But Everett loves to be a pain in my arse. Knowing he won’t hesitate to drag me out of the house butt naked, I rush through my shower, brush my teeth, and throw on a pair of jeans and my Beckford U hoodie before hightailing it downstairs to find them in the kitchen.
Ritter hands me a cup of coffee, which I accept gratefully.
“Are we really doing this?” I ask, taking a sip.
Everett grins. “Oh, we’re really doing this. Get your arse in the car, Logan.”
I hold up my coffee. “Can I finish this first?”
“Bring it with you,” he says, shoving me towards the front door. Zac and Ritter follow.
My stomach rumbles. “What about breakfast?”
“We’ll get something there.”
“Where are we going?” I snap. “You’ve woken me up at an ungodly hour, and now you’re kidnapping me without fucking feeding me.”
“See what I mean?” he says to the guys.
I clench my fist to stop myself from doing something stupid, like punching him in the face.
Fuck, I really am losing it.
I force myself to take deep breaths as I walk to Everett’s car and climb into the front passenger seat.
Thankfully, the guys let me stew in my self-pity for the forty-minute drive, with Ritter filling them in on his life in Sydney and his job at some big architecture firm. Funny enough, he lives in the next suburb over from Tori. Small fucking world. I don’t bother mentioning that, though.
She tries to call me, but I let it go to voicemail. I’ll call her back later. Maybe. It depends on what kind of mood I’m in after hanging out with the guys all day. If I’m still in a funk, I don’t want my sister to worry about me. I’m not her problem anymore.
When we reach the next town over from Beckford, Everett pulls up in the car park of what looks like a converted warehouse.
From the outside, I can see a large café, a boutique clothing store, a pharmacy, and a fruit and vegetable shop.
The only thing open is the café. I’ve never been here before, and I’m wondering why we had to drive forty minutes for breakfast when there are plenty of good places to eat in Beckford.
Hell, I’m not a bad cook; I could have made us something.
I keep my thoughts to myself as I follow them inside the café. It’s early, and the place is packed, but we find a booth towards the back and slide in. I study the menu, trying to ignore the three sets of eyes on me.
“What?”
The three of them exchange a look.
“We’re your closest mates in Beckford, right?” Ritter asks.
“Technically, you live in Sydney now,” I mutter, my knee bouncing under the table. I’m hungry and on edge, not a good combination. He arches a brow, and I shrug. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Yet we don’t really know anything about you,” Zac says. “All we know is you’re from Sydney, and you have a sister.”
The walls close in on me. I force my hands to stay folded on the table in front of me and not tug on the collar of my shirt. “What else is there to know?” I hedge, not liking the direction this conversation is taking.
He rubs the back of his neck. “I don’t know. Why did you leave Sydney? You could have studied paramedicine there.”
“I needed a change of scenery.”
Ritter laughs. “I get that. It’s pretty hectic.”
A waitress arrives to take our orders, and I use that time to get my shit together. I need to be careful about what I say. They’re my friends, but even my sister has trouble looking at me. I don’t want to see that same look in their eyes.
I keep people at a distance so I don’t disappoint anyone.
My past is the ghost that keeps on haunting me. I’ll never escape it, and I need to remember that.
I don’t get to have good things in my life because I always fuck it up.
“Look,” I say after we’ve placed our orders, “I’m a private person, and I’m not used to talking about myself. It’s not a big deal. I applied to Beckford because I was sick of living in the city. End of story. Can we drop it?”
“We can if you tell us what’s eating at you, man,” Everett says.
“I don’t care if you don’t want to tell us your entire backstory.
My family is all levels of fucked up. I’d do anything to get away from all the bullshit if it weren’t for Tinsley.
But something has been bugging you, Blake.
I don’t mean to be a dick, but you haven’t been the most pleasant person to live with. ”
I swallow, running a hand through my hair. “I can find another place to live.”
“Are you serious?” Everett stares at me like I’ve grown two heads. “I don’t want you to move out. We just want to help you with whatever’s going on. Are you in trouble?”
“No.”
“So, what is it?” Ritter asks. “Let us help.”
My chest tightens. He drove eight hours overnight to check on me. Would I do that for him?
I glance at Zac and Everett. They organised this because they’re worried about me, because I’ve worked myself crazy over a stranger in a mask. Someone I can never be with, no matter how much I want her, because I’ll poison it like I’ve poisoned everything in my life.