1. Pop Princess Tunes #2
The curse of having a best friend who knew me and gave a shit.
Aspen and I had been friends for just over a year now, hitting it off the moment we met.
She’d walked in looking for a job, and I’d basically stuck to her like glue, and she’d let me stay stuck.
She’d never liked Todd, though. Not for a single moment.
She tolerated him at best, I knew that, and I loved her for it.
She worried, which was understandable given her past, but Todd wasn’t like her ex.
He didn’t hit me or anything. Todd just had these moods.
Moods that made sense when you knew why.
With the last of the tables wiped down, I clocked out and sullenly walked to my car.
The chilled wind whipped around my bundled body.
My energy zapped, and in the dark it felt safe to let the bubbly facade fall away.
Sliding in behind the wheel, I tried not to screech as my passenger door flew open and she slid in beside me.
Her eyes were staring out the windshield, and she let out a breath I knew she’d been holding in all evening.
Before she could speak, I started my car and turned the heat all the way up, refusing to dish out my feelings and freeze to death at the same time.
After another few quiet moments passed, the sound of the heater filling my small car, she spoke.
“Okay, spill. You’ve been mopey and in a funk all night. Tell me what’s on your mind. Please.” Her eyes glanced over towards me for a moment, the pleading clear in them.
She let out another breath, before turning the entirety of her tall frame towards me.
Her long, dark hair was in a single braid over her shoulder tonight, and a light bit of eyeliner lined her bright blue eyes—something that was a new habit she’d picked up after I’d told her nine hundred times how insanely hot she looked with the extra bit to make them pop.
“I know you don’t want to talk. I know you think I’ll just lecture you or tell you he sucks or whatever.
In my head, I probably will. But out loud, I just want you to know you aren’t alone or crazy or any of the other shit I know he makes you feel like.
” Breathlessly, she stared at me, and I felt my eyes tear up as I tried my hardest to swallow down the emotions permeating through me right now.
I was the good-time friend. The bubbly, outgoing girl who loved to dance and sing. Who took shots and wore fun dresses. Who helped doll her besties up because they deserved to feel as beautiful as they were.
In the same breath, I felt everything so intensely that my big feelings tended to drive people away when they finally captured a glimpse of them. I may have been the good-time friend, but I wasn’t the long-time friend. I wasn’t the friend you called up just to chat or hang out or watch movies.
Never Aspen, though. She’d seen it all in a short amount of time compared to others, highs and lows, and she never backed away.
Neither of us did.
“He came home early today, and he was just in a bad mood. Told me I needed to get a real job and pull my weight. Which I know is crazy, because I do! I pay half the rent, and I buy my own food. We take turns on utilities, and how many times have I paid extra because he’s been short?
” Wiping my cheek again, I glanced over at my best friend.
Her face was devoid of any emotions. She was good at that, hiding her feelings when she wanted to. Wish she’d give me some lessons.
“He was just in a bad mood, and I guess I just don’t want him to be right,” I whispered.
“Be right about what?”
I thought about all of our friends when compared to myself.
“That I need a real job. I don’t know what I’m doing, Aspen.
I’m floating. You’re back in school, on your way to being the world’s best teacher.
You have your art and Rowan, and of course, Ember is the hardest worker we know with the bakery.
Payton has her nursing job at the hospital.
Wyatt is crushing it, Theo does whatever Theo does—but it makes money.
Todd has this new job, and me? I’ve been at The Roadhouse for almost five years.
I’ve been a waitress and that’s it. I have no idea what I’m doing or where I’m going, I’m just here. Floating.”
All of our friends had things, and I’d never felt inadequate until recently.
Aspen shook her head, a smile threatening to upturn at the corner of her lips. It made me want to flick her in the forehead.
“Ivy, you’re perfect the way you are. Art just fell into my lap through trauma.
The same with the bakery and Ember. The Carragan family doesn’t count, because they were just born different,” she said with a soft giggle.
Her fiancé, two of his brothers, and baby sister were all in our little friend group, and she was right.
Abby Carragan raised those kids to be something new and perfect.
Rowan and Wyatt were certified workaholics, along with their older brother Oliver.
Theo was the wild child who lived to make us all laugh, but he still worked doing whatever it was that made him money, and then their sister Payton was a nurse at the local hospital.
The Carragan family was built different.
“Plus, you have your book stuff! You love that, and you make some side money with it. So you aren’t a lost cause; you’re just finding your way, and I love that about you.
You’ve never been one to try to fit the mold, you just vibe and go with the flow of life.
” She was right, of course. My little book page on social media had grown to be something quite amazing.
I had over twenty thousand followers now, and I was invited to book conventions with authors.
It was amazing, and it did earn me some side money when I did promotional work for authors I loved, but it wasn’t a full-time income by any means.
“The world is your oyster and all that shit,” she added as she reached over and took my hand into hers.
Nodding, I forced a smile. She was right, but everything still just felt really damn heavy. And as I drove home that evening and found the apartment empty until two minutes before I should’ve been home, I told myself it would all work itself out. I just had to believe I could make it happen.