8. Different Muscles
DIFFERENT MUSCLES
Oliver
“Motherfuckers,” I muttered under my breath. “I don’t have time for this shit today.”
Chucking the wrench off to the side, I laid on the ground, small bits of snow seeping through my jeans.
I hadn’t pushed enough of it out of the way to be sprawled out here like this.
Truly, I shouldn’t be lying on the damn ground to begin with, but the damn machinery in this place was all going to shit.
How many times could I dignify fixing something before I just said fuck it all and blew my savings on a new one? Tractors, the damn Can-Am, fucking power tools. It didn’t matter. It was all expensive as hell, and it never worked when you needed it to. No matter how fucking new it was.
“You comin’ out of there today, big bro?” Rowan’s voice sounded slightly concerned with a touch of humor mixed into it—a normal tone for him. Letting out a sigh, I climbed up off the ground, dusting the bits of snow and now-melted ice off my jeans. “Not working again?”
“Apparently. Fucking clutch seems to be slippin’,” I muttered. “It doesn’t even matter. I just need to get the horses fed and get Hudson to practice tonight. I don’t have the time or patience for this shit right now.”
Rowan nodded as he kicked his boot against the tire of the side-by-side giving me shit right now.
“Want me to call Aspen? She can take Hudson over to practice tonight so you and I can get shit taken care of before it gets pitch black out here.”
I pushed out a long breath through my nose, my eyes lifting towards the sky, fists clenching and unclenching a few times. It was times like this I missed Emily the most. It was rarely the couple shit I missed, but the having a partner to parent with.
I can accept help in any form it comes in.
Repeating the mantra to myself, I finally let my gaze fall back to my brother. “Yeah, that would be great. I’ll drop him off over there so he knows the plan and then come right back.”
Rowan nodded. “Perfect. I’ll get this stupid thing back up and going. Don’t worry so much.”
He pulled out his phone as I walked back towards the house. Jogging up the stairs of our wraparound porch, I opened the screen door, stomping the snow off my work boots, and pushed open the front door.
“Hudson!” I hollered in the entryway.
Moments later, he was at the top of the stairs, peering down at me, an eyebrow raised into his shaggy, dark hair. He needed a haircut, but now wasn’t the time to bring it up.
“Are you ready for practice?” He nodded in response. “Good. Grab your bag. The side-by-side crapped out again. I’m going to drop you with Aunt Aspen so Uncle Ro and I can get the horses fed and cleaned up for the night.”
Part of me worried he’d be upset. It wasn’t his first skating lesson, but it was the first I’d missed. He didn’t appear put out, though. He just nodded and went to his room to grab his bag. A cool cucumber, Emily would’ve said.
Minutes later, when we were in my pick-up truck, I glanced over at him.
“You’re not mad, are you?”
He glanced over at me, that damn brow raised again. “No, Dad. It’s fine. Honest. I’ll have Aunt Aspen take some videos on her phone for you to watch with dinner.”
Letting out another slow breath through my nose, I nodded, my eyes intent to stay on the road ahead of me and not staring at my son. Every single day, when the feeling of failing this kid reared its ugly head, I was reminded again that despite my failings, he was perfect.
“Sounds good, bud,” I said. “Sounds really good.”
We pulled up to Aspen and Rowan’s house.
A large two-story house with wood siding, stone accents, and windows that would make a skyscraper jealous.
Hopping out of the truck, Hudson all but ran to the front door.
But, before he could hit it with a knock, the door swung open, and my throat felt tight at the sight of her.
Dressed in white sweatpants and a pink hoodie, her hair in a loose braid over one shoulder, she was the picture of comfort and more that I couldn’t name.
“Ivy!” Hudson yelled, the excitement clear in his high-pitched tone as his gaze landed on the tiny blonde. Her face lit up the moment their eyes met, as if she was just as excited to see him.
“Hey Sunny!” she squealed, her arms outstretched as she wrapped him in a quick hug.
“I’m good, Dad. I’ll see you later!” Hudson hollered over his shoulder.
I bit back a smirk. This damn kid.
“Yeah, bud, thanks,” I muttered sarcastically.
Ivy’s teeth sank into her bottom lip, a clear sign she was holding back a laugh.
“Your aunt Aspen is inside getting her shoes on and packing us snacks. Why don’t you go see if there’s anything extra you want to sneak in?”
Hudson’s eyes lit up as he waved me off once again and bolted into his uncle’s house.
I watched him leave, only to realize that it left Ivy and I alone. It had been a few days since I’d seen her—that drunken night at The Raven still etched into my mind, the aftermath of what I’d done in the wake of her turmoil still clear as day in my sore muscles.
Apparently, taking a bat to someone’s car used different muscles than ranching—not that I was complaining one bit. He deserved worse.
“How are you feeling?” Words slipped from my lips to fill the silence I couldn’t stand between us.
She nodded, quickly and anxiously. “Oh, um, good.”
She cleared her throat, still chewing on her bottom lip.
“Well, um, I’m glad. Tell Aspen I said thank you again.
Really, and I’ll be back to grab him later, or she can drop him off if that’s easier, whatever,” I said, rambling as I rubbed the back of my neck.
I could feel my cheeks heating as I stared up the steps at her.
“Anyway, I should, um—” I pointed back towards my truck as I started to turn away.
“Oliver! Wait!” My name on her lips simply wasn’t fair, but it stopped me in my tracks anyway.
Slowly, and reluctantly, I turned back around, arching a brow at her.
“Um, fuck, I just wanted to say thank you…for the other night? I don’t remember a ton, but I know you helped my drunk ass get in the truck.
Plus I know I may have muttered some kinda inappropriate things to you and been a bit…
off. Yeah, so, I’m sorry. It was a rough night, and my boyfriend and I had gotten into it…
Anyway, I’m staying with Aspen for a bit, and I just didn’t want it to be awkward.
Us seeing each other and me being…me.” Her voice trailed off, and she wrung her hands together, slightly rocking back and forth on her heels.
I felt myself nodding, unsure of what else to say. Before I could stumble over words, though, Aspen and Hudson walked out.
“Ivy, babe, you need shoes. Meet us in the car,” Aspen said happily, a tote bag similar to the one Ivy always had thrown over her shoulder. “Oh, hey Oliver! I’ll drop him off on our way back home. Go back to work and get my man home, please.”
Her words snapped me out of the self-induced overthinking whirlwind I’d found myself in the midst of.
“Yeah, of course, Aspen. I’ll see you tonight, Hudson.” He nodded, smiling ear to ear as he climbed in the back of Aspen’s car with his bag in tow.
“Ivy…” My voice trailed off for a moment as she walked back out, a pair of white tennis shoes on her feet and a matching pink beanie on her head. “I’ll see you around.”
She stared at me, wide eyed, her teeth still sinking into that bottom lip of hers as she threw me a thumbs-up. The corner of my mouth tilted slightly, but I turned and walked back to my truck before I could say any more.
The last thing I needed was to give anyone any idea what was going through my head right now.