30. Announce It
ANNOUNCE IT
Ivy
I sat cross-legged on my couch, my mind turning over and over what exactly I was going to say.
“Todd, we’re done,” I muttered to myself, the speech continuing internally as I typed up a new review post and then started on graphics for my next post. My top five reads so far this year.
Anything to keep my mind positive. “We don’t make sense.
You’re not happy, I’m not happy. We aren’t happy. So what are we doing?”
Sighing, I plopped my head back, staring at the ceiling, only to pull up my girl squad group chat.
Okay. I’m going to do it. Seriously.
Ember
Fuck the cowboy?
Payton
Ember…….
Payton
Stop. Please
Ember
Well she hasn’t said no, so it could very well be she’s ready to save a horse.
Payton
Ember
Don’t worry babe. I’ll find you someone too. I have the perfect person in mind. Tall. Dark. Handsome. Makes a stellar mixed drink.
Payton
ANYWAY.
Payton
Ivy, you were saying?
Aspen
She’s going to break things off with Toad.
Ember
TOAD? Oh my god that’s great. If I had his number, I’d immediately change his name on my phone.
Ember
Lucky for us all, I do not.
I let out another slow breath. I shouldn’t even be shocked that Lucas had mentioned the nickname outside of work. It was my fault for not realizing he would pass that shit around.
Correct. Ignoring the name though.
The group chat began soaring with celebratory gifs and memes. Shaking my head and unable to hide my smile, I swiped back over to Instagram to finish posting my book review and scheduling the next one, when a message request popped up.
Normally I tried my best to get through messages at the end of every day, whether that be requests or people I’d talked to already, but I wasn’t the best at it the more the requests increased.
I tapped the message, looking at her photo, and a sinking feeling hit my stomach before I could even start to read her message.
Pushing away the anxiety, I accepted her request and started reading, eager to reply while she was online. No need to drag this on—whatever it was.
Becca
Hey Ivy. I want to start this message off by apologizing.
When things first began I didn’t know you two were still together.
He told me you were still living together because of the lease, but you were saving up money to move out.
It wasn’t until that night I saw you with Tessa that I realized he wasn’t being honest with me.
I tried to break things off afterwards, but I don’t know Ivy.
It isn’t an excuse, but he’s just…convincing.
Tears began gathering in my eyes as I tried deep breaths.
I wasn’t even sure why I was upset. I knew this was coming.
I knew they were involved. Just because I hadn’t confronted him, didn’t change the fact that I had eyes.
I was planning on ending things in moments.
He’d be home any minute and I could kick his ass out of the apartment.
I was making enough money to cover the rent on my own now between all three jobs.
I shook my head and typed out a message back to her.
Hey Becca. I’m sorry he lied to you. I understand completely. We both deserve better. Hopefully we find it.
Before I could even close the app, she started typing, and I waited patiently while the messages started piling through.
Becca
Does that mean you’re ending it with him?
Becca
I know it’s none of my business Ivy. You’re an adult and all. I just wasn’t sure if he’d told you or not.
Told me what, Becca? About you?
Becca
No. I mean yes, but no.
A few moments passed while she typed and stopped, typed and stopped, but the message finally came through.
Becca
Ivy, I’m pregnant.
I stared, the words repeating over and over in my mind as I read and reread, only for a sonogram photo with Becca’s name in the top corner to come through. I felt ill, the photo and words merging together as tears gathered once more in my eyes and my stomach churned.
With Todd?
Becca
Yeah. He’s known for two weeks now. I just…
Becca
I wanted to announce it and I know your sister isn’t stupid. I didn’t want you to be blindsided by this if he hadn’t told you.
Yeah. Thank you Becca.
I closed out the app and locked my phone before I could stare at the photo any longer than I already had. My mind spun in a million different directions, only interrupted when the front door unlocked and revealed the man of the hour.
He threw his keys on the side table and kicked his boots off at the door.
“When were you going to tell me?” I didn’t even give him a chance to respond before the words I hadn’t planned tumbled from my mouth. “At the birth? First day of school? First award ceremony? Maybe Christmas? Thanksgiving? Or when you just showed up with a child in our apartment?”
Wide-eyed, he stared at me, unmoving. Maybe I’d finally stunned him. Left him speechless for the first time in our relationship. His mouth opened, only to close again like a fish out of water.
“You talked to Becca.” It wasn’t a question, but I nodded anyway.
Just in case he needed confirmation that I had indeed talked to Becca.
“I was going to tell you, Ivy. It wasn’t anything serious.
Just blowing off some steam after work and I figured she was on birth control.
This doesn’t have to change shit for us, though. ”
I laughed—a loud, obnoxious chuckle that I couldn’t stop.
My mom would say it was an unladylike laugh, but I didn’t hold back.
“It changes everything, Todd. Not only have you been cheating on me, but you got another woman pregnant. A woman who is announcing said pregnancy to the world as we speak. You’re going to be a father, Todd. ”
“And? What does that have to do with us?”
Standing, I began walking to the bedroom, pulling my duffel bag from the closet and shoving things into it. I wasn’t even looking at the items I was grabbing. It would work, or I’d buy new shit. I didn’t even care right now.
“What are you doing?” he asked from the doorway, his palms on either side of the frame as he leaned in the room.
“I’m leaving. Which, honestly, was my plan anyway. This just made it easier. Less of a conversation needed to be had.” My voice sounded dead. Absolutely no emotion whatsoever.
“What if I don’t want to be a dad? Will you stay? You wanted a baby, maybe we could?—”
My gaze snapped to his, my eyes wide. “Do. Not. Finish that sentence, Todd. I am not some woman you get to pity and guilt into staying, or whatever shit was about to leave your mouth. Go fuck yourself.”
He opened his mouth once more, and I threw the shoe in my hand at him. He flinched, catching it before it smacked him in the face.
“You’re serious,” he finally said after a brief moment of silence.
“Deadly.”
He tossed my shoe back on the bed and shook his head. “Whatever. You’ll be back in no time. You’re mine, Ivy. Nothing Becca says matters when it comes to you and I.”
He disappeared down the hallway, and I swallowed down the emotions that sat at the base of my throat. He was wrong, though. It mattered a great deal to me.
I’d always wanted that possessive, all-encompassing love. The guy who’d fight through Hell itself if needed. Anything to keep me. To show me how much he loved me and cared.
I thought of my best friend. Of the lengths Rowan had gone to show Aspen he was all in and that she could trust him. I wanted that.
When Todd used to tell me I was his no matter what, it used to leave me giggling and pleased. Thinking I was living the dream. Now, it left me empty.
I felt nothing as I tossed chargers and deodorant in my bag.
I felt nothing as I zipped up the bag and tossed on my hoodie and shoes.
Nothing as I walked out of my apartment.
Nothing as I started driving—only one thought on my mind as I drove.
It was close to nine at night when I knocked on his front door.
I wasn’t even sure how I’d gotten here or why here was where I chose to drive, but I refused to regret it now. The door swung open as he flicked the outside light on. Dark eyes peered down at me while his brows pulled together in confusion.
Shirtless and barefoot. Dark blue sweatpants sat on his hips. A smattering of hair spread across his chest that V-ed down into a thin line over his belly button and into those sweats. Sweats that left little to the imagination.
I’d cried the entire way here, but now, those tears were dried up and gone. A different sort of fire burned deep within me as my eyes finally met his.
“Um, hey, Oliver,” I whispered.