Chapter 16
16
Bishop
I’ve punished myself for the last few days over how I treated Anais the last time we spoke, but I’ve let things get too far and they need to stop.
I’m making my way across campus in search of her to apologize and let her know that we can’t continue whatever this is anymore, knowing it’s her lunch time and it would be better to talk in person with a crowd around.
The weather is already starting to change and a slight breeze is in the air. It’s still hot and humid, but the temps are finally starting to tick down a bit. More students mill about as I walk from one end of campus to the other. I would normally drive but I decided to enjoy the day and take a stroll.
Laughter rings out from students but one stands out above the others. The sweet sound is like music to my ears and I instantly recognize it. I look to my right where I hear it coming from, and spot Anais and one of her friends standing with a group of guys.
My feet carry me closer and closer to where they stand until I’m towering over them, imposing with my size and the heat that pours off my body.
“Anais,” I growl, surprising myself when her name comes from my mouth.
Her head spins and her hair floats through the air.
“Oh. Coach Michaels. Hello,” she says, her voice sounding very displeased.
“May I speak with you for a moment? I need to ask you a question regarding the game.” I turn on my heel and head for the closest tree, assuming she is following.
I clench my jaw, trying to keep my emotions under control, and hear her come up behind me.
“Why would you need to talk to me about the game?” she asks as she steps closer.
“What are you doing?” My tone is harsh and the words bite.
“What am I doing?” Her arms cross over her chest and her face hardens. “I’m talking with my friends. Why do you care?”
“All of those guys are your friends? Guys like that aren’t ‘friends’ with girls like you.”
Her head flings back as if she’s been hit. “Girls like me? What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means you're nice and sweet and naive, and those guys are looking for one thing, Anais.”
“Oh I’m guilty of being naive alright, but only where you’re concerned. I was naive to think you actually liked me. I had no clue you were just getting your rocks off.”
My chest aches at the thought of her thinking I was using her.
“That’s not how it was, Anais, and you know that.”
“No. I don’t know that. What I do know is that one minute you’re coming all over your hand because of me, and the next you’re telling me to stay away from you. You said I play games, but you’re the biggest fucking player I know, Coach Michaels.” She spins, putting her back to me, and I grab her arm.
“Anais. I’m sorry–” I start to apologize .
“Please don’t touch me. I can’t handle you being nice to me. Not anymore.” Her eyes flood with unshed tears.
“Butterfly.” I drop my hand and soften my voice.
“Don’t Bishop. Just leave me alone.” She swipes at her eye and gives me a parting look before turning around and calling out, “Hey Dex. What are you doing on Saturday?”
A pain in my heart has me clutching at my chest as I watch her walk away, carefree and happy. But not because of me.
I stare out the large glass windows and down onto the field as the game draws closer to a win. A win that will send the Wranglers to the playoffs for the second year in a row. I’m happy for my best friend, but my mood is sour as I listen to Anais’ laughter every time that douchebag Dex opens his mouth.
What the fuck kind of name is Dex, anyhow? Sounds like the name of a privileged little prick, and I want to kick his ass just for being him.
“He seems like a nice kid,” Camille says, bumping my arm with her shoulder.
I look down at the woman that I call sister, and try to smile as she beams up at me.
“Hmpf,” I reply. “How’re you feeling little mama? My niece giving you a hard time?”
“We don’t know it’s a girl, Bish.” She rubs her hand over her small belly that you can barely see under the Wranglers jersey she wears.
“Eh. I have a feeling,” I say with a wink.
I hang my arm over her shoulders and turn my attention back to the game as the pitcher throws another strike, putting the Wranglers just one away from the win.
“You need to talk to him, Bishop.”
I look down at her, confused. “What are you talking about?”
Her eyes float over to where Anais stands and I follow her lead. “Anais. You need to talk to Phoenix about her. Clear the air and see where he stands.”
My jaw clicks when I grind my teeth together. “Why would I need to talk to Nix about her?”
She deadpans me with a look. “Stop acting daft.”
I swallow and nod my head. “There’s nothing to talk about. It was misplaced feelings. I think I was just feeling a little lonely because of the engagement and weddings and now babies. I thought I liked her, but it was silly. She’s a child.”
“You may be able to lie to yourself but you can’t bullshit me, Bishop Michaels.”
I squint my eyes and pretend to be annoyed. “Get out of my head, girl. And tell your husband to keep his big trap shut.”
“Vaughan didn’t have to tell me a whole lot. I already had a pretty good idea of things. It’s just something I picked up on. A feeling, you know? Maybe it was my mother’s intuition kicking in already.”
I pinch the tip of her nose and she bats my hand away. “I don’t know, Cami-girl. She’s just a kid and Nix is my best friend. He’d never forgive me.”
“Are you sure about that?” She asks and I nod emphatically. “Did you sleep with her?”
“No but…,” I look away, the guilt making me sick. “I kissed her. Twice. And other stuff. But not in person. You know, it was…” I can’t find the words to explain what we did.
“You had phone sex, didn’t you?”
“Jesus, Camille. Shush your mouth.” I look around the room full of people, nervous someone heard us and put two and two together.
“Oh my gosh. You guys are so prudish. If you could be a fly on the wall during girls brunch, y’all would probably drop dead. Especially listening to Viv. That girl could make a sailor blush. ”
I laugh knowing how true that is.
“It doesn’t matter. I told her we were asking for trouble and let her know it was best if she stayed away and quit calling me.”
“How many times have you almost called her?” I fold my lips between my teeth and look down. “Wow. That many, huh? Why are you punishing yourself? Talk to her. But talk to Phoenix first.”
“No. Not gonna happen. It’s done. I’m going to move on. And it’s obvious she is, too. Plus, she should be with a guy her age. Not some old man.”
“Will you shut up with the old man crap? I bet you could walk across campus and get more of those young co-eds to fall at your feet than those young boys could. You’re hot, Bish, and don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m pretty sure at some point, all us girls have had a crush on you.”
My face heats up, thinking about these ladies I consider sisters having thought of as anything other than a friend.
“Lie,” I tell her
“Not a lie. Truth. CeCe most of all.” She winks at me and I laugh, embarrassed. “But it wasn’t just your looks, Bish. It was you . You’re kind and intelligent and caring. You make people laugh and feel special without even trying. It’s no wonder that girl would fall for you. And she’s equally as amazing. Just look at how she is with Dagen.”
I look over to where Anais stands with her date along with Dagen, laughing and acting goofy with her.
“You two are like each other’s twin half. Together, you’re one.”
I think back to Vaughan when he called Cami his twin flame and without her, he’d die out.
“She’s too young, Cam. It would never work. Mainly because I’d be dead before it ever got started. Nix would run me down.”
“Stop it with the age thing. Luca is eleven years older than CeCe. You don’t see anyone making a big deal out of it.”
I counter, “I’m twelve years older, and she’s still a teenager. Big difference.”
Cami sighs, turning her attention to the game as it ends with cheers with a Wranglers win. I study her face, trying to figure out what’s going on in that head of hers. She’s a wealth of knowledge because she’s endured so much in her young life. From the breakup with Vaughan when they were so young, to losing her husband years later, and then finding out the truth behind what tore her and Vaughan apart thirteen years ago. She suffered so many heartbreaks only to come back stronger with each renewal. Now she and Vaughan are married, she and Dagen have formed a bond that no one can break, and soon their family of three will be four.
So when she speaks, I tend to listen a little bit closer than I would with others.
“I lost a lot of years with Vaughan by being so stubborn. Yes, I had an amazing life with Robbie and loved him so very much. I’m grateful for the time I had with him. But despite loving Robbie so much, there was always a part of me that remained with Vaughan. Don’t waste time being stubborn. Talk to Phoenix. Allow yourself the right to be happy. You deserve it, Bishop.”
Cami pops up on her toes and kisses my cheek, then walks over to where our friends are all celebrating. Joyous laughter and hugs are passed around. When I look over at Anais, she’s celebrating herself, hugging Dex and smiling. His arms are circled around her as he lifts her up and spins her around. When he places her back on her feet, he stares at her with stars in his eyes.
Seeing him touch her sends a wave of jealousy coursing through my veins. And while I want to stomp over there and rip her away from his arms, I know that letting her go is better than keeping her to myself.
You can’t trap a beautiful butterfly. A creature that awe inspiring must be allowed to roam free. I’d only suffocate her if I held on too tight.