Chapter Eighteen
Drew
Considering the amount of whiskey I drank the night before, even I was surprised by the good mood I'd woken up in. But as with everything when Ayda was around, nothing ever stayed the same for long.
When Pete stared back at me from that picture behind the bar, I knew I had to get out of there.
It was either that or stick around and risk exploding on her tiny little ass.
And that just wasn't an option, given I'd made a deal with myself to try and make it through the day without getting lost inside my own head.
It was already way too early for me to be pacing, yet there I was, and there was only one person to blame for that yet again.
Her.
It always seemed to be her. Maybe that was because in the few days since my release, she was the only non-MC related person I'd allowed myself to talk with, and the truth was, anyone outside of this club just didn't have a clue how I worked or the shit I'd been through.
I wasn't about to let her piss me off before the sun had even had a chance to warm the concrete.
Not today. I just wanted to be able to breathe without seeing ghosts and regret splashed across every wall.
That left me with only one option for the remainder of the day while she was around.
I had to get out.
Snatching the keys from my office, I threw a hoodie over my white T-shirt before gliding past the cut hung up on the back of the door as though I hadn’t even seen it.
I wasn’t denying who I was. I wasn’t about to walk away from the one thing I had left in this world that meant anything to me, but for now, I needed to ride alone.
And riding alone with my club patch strewn across my back could only lead to one of two things: cops or enemies. Today, I just wanted to be free.
My feet pounded back through the bar area, and I didn’t take a second to glance around and see who was still in there. My eyes were fully focused on the door as I started to move closer towards it.
“Where you going?” Slater shouted in his low, deep voice from somewhere behind me.
“Out,” I answered flatly.
“Alone?”
“Looks that way.”
“You want company? Harry said you shouldn’t be left alo—”
“Fuck Harry. I don’t answer to him.”
“But—”
“I don’t answer to you, either, Slater.”
“Okay, man. I was just asking.”
“Keep the girl busy,” I called back out over my shoulder, stepping out through the doorway and into the bright sunshine of the morning.
The warmth of it wrapped itself around my face and instantly made my shoulders relax.
If I hadn’t wanted to get away so quickly, I know I’d have remained standing there for a while longer.
But the sound of Jedd’s voice calling out for me at the far end of the bar had me bouncing away quickly and walking like fuck over to my Harley.
Grabbing my helmet from the back, I swung my leg over my seat and began to fasten the strap under my chin.
Pulling my shades out from the pocket in my hoodie, I slid them on and literally tuned the whole fucking world out, unlocking the deadlock before backing my neglected baby out of its parking bay with my feet.
Before I had time to start her up, I saw Jedd’s tall frame move to stand in the doorway as he watched me.
I didn’t mean to do it, but as he started to take a step forward, then another and then another, I threw my head back with laughter and started her up.
As soon as I felt the vibrations beneath me and heard the roar of my bike come to life, filling the air with the most beautiful sound on Earth, the tension in my spine started to roll off of me even more.
If I could do this and keep a good lifestyle around me, riding was the only thing I would do from the moment I opened my eyes until the moment my head fell against the pillow again at night.
I was born to be a biker. I was born into this world and it was in me.
No one was going to stop me from doing what was in my blood and in my heart.
Curling both hands around the handles, I let my head fall down and flashed Jedd a sarcastic smile before I raised my arm and gave him the middle finger I knew he didn’t really deserve.
Then I rode away.
I rode for hours on end, not knowing where the hell I was going or caring who thought it was a bad idea.
On the open road, the ghosts couldn’t keep up.
On the open road, I always moved faster than they did.
Every thought in my mind drifted away to nothing until all that I was left with was a clear head and the world off my shoulders.
It didn’t matter that it was a temporary reprieve.
It didn’t matter that I knew it would have to end at some point and that those demons would eventually come swarming around me, pushing down on my body until I was cowering in a corner and gripping the sides of my skull in anger and panic.
None of it mattered because the only thing that existed in those moments, when the wind was blowing my clothes into me and the sunlight was burning against the stubble on my jaw and the bridge of my nose, was me.
I was allowed to be free out here.
I was allowed to be the Drew Tucker that nobody else knew about.
And if I was honest, that was the Drew Tucker I didn’t really know myself.
I could only hope that the more I escaped and allowed myself to do this, the sooner the two of us would meet again and get to know one another better than we already did.
Time lost all meaning. It was only when I rode down the street the yard sat on, and saw a group of teenage, bad boy wannabes trying to sneak in through the gate, that I seemed to snap out of my tunnel vision and re-enter reality, once again.
Even from my far off approach, I could see the four of them trying to creep under the security cameras and slide through the opened gates of the yard.
The sun was dwindling and it was no longer light enough for me to justify wearing my shades, so I pulled them off, tucked them back into my pocket and started to roll slowly towards the boys.
That was the one bad thing about these motors. There was no way to approach quietly.
The tallest one snapped his head back around to look at me, his eyes popping wide open before he yelled out to his brothers and told them all to get the fuck out of there fast. At most, they were fifteen.
The youngest didn’t even look twelve. Snotty nosed little bastards.
I couldn’t help but smirk as I watched them run like lightning to get away from me.
It wasn’t unusual for us to get this kind of attention.
To some kids, we were what they wanted to be when they grew up.
We were outlaws. We didn’t conform. We were feared and we were idolized.
In a society where survival of the fittest was the only way to live, these boys wanted to be on top, like we were.
It was only when I began to turn into the yard and slide through the gates that my eyes fell to a gray car parked out on the street. The car I knew belonged to Ayda. The car that now had two freshly slashed tires resting on the curb side of the road.
“Shit.” I laughed as I shook my head and guided my ride back into place.
My body was alive with a pulsating feeling that I had never been able to explain to anyone.
Every finger ached from being wrapped around the handles for so long and not being used to it.
My thighs burned and my heart was pounding in a way that was more welcome than a Maisey Sutton blowy.
If I never got laid again, I wouldn’t care so long as I had this.
When I took my helmet off again and rolled my shoulders inside my hoodie, I looked back up at the club and ran a hand through my flat hair.
The demons were circling above my head again as soon as I saw the patch of my brothers sitting proudly above the door, but I knew this was where I belonged, no matter how much shit I had to wrap my head around to get used to it again.
“Had a good ride?” I heard from behind me.
Half turning my body, I looked over my shoulder to the other side of the yard and saw Harry locking up the office connected to the pawn shop.
He’d obviously spent all day in there doing the books, because even the fading sunlight had him squinting and reaching up to rub his eyes as he locked the place up.
“It was long overdue,” I answered slowly, watching as he began to make his way over to me with that unbalanced wobble swagger of his. “Is this the part where you give me shit for going out alone?”
“Despite what you think, I only want what’s best for you, son.”
Son. There it was. Harry never called me son.
Not unless he was worried and trying to make up for the loss of the father figure in my life.
It was also his way of showing me that he was on my side and warning me to drop the snark before I even started with it.
He wasn’t about that today, and I had to admit, I was really fucking relieved.
“I know that,” I said quietly, turning back to The Hut and looking at the front door.
“Do you? Because I’ve kinda been getting the impression that we aren’t communicating on the same level at the minute.”
“We’re good.”
“I sure hope so,” he replied softly, his hand landing to slap my shoulder from behind before he let out a weighted sigh and started to move towards our home. “You coming in?”
“Is Ayda in there?” I asked quickly, my eyes flickering from the door to him then back again.
“Somewhere. She’s not stopped all day. The girl can work, that’s for sure.”
“She been any trouble?”
“Not that I know of, although, I’d keep Kenny at a distance if I were you.
Otherwise she’ll soon be fucking in the toilets rather than scrubbing.
Seems he’s been singing quite a few melodies about her around the place today.
” Harry hit the stairs, his body bending and struggling with his own height and weight imbalance as he huffed and puffed.
My face suddenly tensed with anger at what he’d just said and I hated it with all that I had. More than anything, I instantly hated that I hated it. “She’s here to work,” I snapped at him. “If I need to remind Kenny of that, it won’t be politely.”
Harry laughed, landing on the porch before walking farther towards the door and shaking his head. “Boys and their toys.”
“She ain’t his toy.”
Looking back over his shoulder, he raised a brow right at me and smirked. “She ain’t yours, either, son. Just remember that. She’s here to work.”
Before I could even answer him with the insult that was about to drop off the tip of my tongue, his body had disappeared inside the club and mine was soon following closely behind.
The first person I saw walking towards me when I passed over that threshold was Ayda.
Her blonde hair was scraped back into a tight ball on top of her head now, like she’d been sweating so much it was the only way she could keep it under control and out of her face.
Her eyes looked heavy and tired as she clung onto the bag over her shoulder and fished around for her keys inside it, not even looking up or noticing me at all.
Not until she slammed straight into my chest and her eyes rose up to meet mine.
All the anger Harry had injected into me was being poured down onto her as we stared at one another.
She was so close, there was barely any air between us.
Not until she took a shaky step back and started to fumble around in her head for even more apologies.
“Save it,” I said roughly. “We need to talk.”