Chapter Thirty-Two
Drew
It wasn’t the stomach roll, the pounding head, or the fact that my mouth felt like carpet that made my eyes scrunch tighter together when I turned onto my back.
It wasn’t even the low groan of weariness that escaped my dry, welded together lips.
It wasn’t even the fact that my hands were curled up into weak fists that ached to be stretched out,as the pins and needles ran all the way through them, leaving them as crippled and as useless as I felt.
It wasn’t the pain in my chest or the fact that I needed to take a piss so bad, I thought my bladder was going to burst there and then.
It was the way the person next to me moved and stretched, so fucking selfishly that I had no choice but to wake up from my peaceful state.
For the first time in months, I slept solidly and the moment I moved my tongue in a wave like motion up on the roof of my mouth, I had a pretty good idea that a lot of that had to do with the bucket full of alcohol I consumed after our little visit from The Emperors.
Lifting my balled up hands to my head, I pressed them to my temple and tried to regain some kind of control over the heavy metal rock band that was currently playing an encore behind my eyelids.
It felt like the drummer was doing an epic solo on all parts of my brain, while I waited for him to stop.
Only he didn’t stop and I couldn’t move.
Not until I felt that person beside me shift around again, then heard their delicate little moan of sleep filled pleasure as they rolled onto their side, making the mattress bounce.
The frown on my face smoothed itself out. My desert-like mouth found enough strength to finally open up and allow me to take in some air, and my eyes flickered open as I tried to remember where the fuck I was and who the hell I was with.
It was only when they moved again that I got a whiff of whatever perfume it was she wore and I felt my stomach drop into my ass even more.
Ayda.
With my hands still pressed to my head, I glanced under my arm to see if what I thought was happening was actually happening.
When I saw her there, I couldn’t move. Both of her hands were tucked under her cheek as her head rested on the edge of one of my pillows, and her lips were parted so delicately, she looked perfect in her slumber.
Her body was scrunched up with her knees raised up to her chest, and even though I so badly wanted to jump off this bed, scramble to the other end of the room and back up against a wall, I knew I couldn’t for several different reasons.
The main one being that I had to get away without waking her up.
The other being that I couldn’t seem to tear my eyes away, no matter how much I tried to convince myself that I wanted to.
Fortunately for me, the demands of my bladder left me with very little choice.
It was either get out quick or I would need nursing for other reasons, which wouldn’t do Drew Tucker’s reputation any good whatsoever.
Sucking in a giant breath, I held it in and ignored the groans of my body as I began to roll off the bed as slowly as I could.
There was feeling rough and then there was this.
This felt as close to me being on my way out of this world as you could get without taking a bullet to the head.
When my feet landed on the floor, I didn’t pause or wait around to make use of my legs.
As my toes skimmed across the carpet, my shoulders fell forward and my chin was determined as shit to glue itself to my chest. It seemed that thing was suddenly as afraid of heights as I was. Gravity was winning.
I didn’t glance back at Ayda before I slipped into the bathroom.
I couldn’t. I had too many questions and only one person who could answer them.
If I was to keep on looking at her laid out on my bed that way, I knew it wouldn’t be long before I was waking her and forcing her to look me in the eye and confess what shit I’d told her the night before.
Every move I made was as quiet as possible.
The faucets were turned on just enough that I could cup my hands beneath them and splash my face.
I brushed my teeth, even though it felt like I was pressing razor blades against my gums. I even managed to throw my clothes to the floor and wash from the sink water alone, before heading through to my office and pulling out some clean jeans and a T-shirt I kept in one of the drawers.
I was dressed head to toe in black and somehow it seemed to fit. I felt like going into mourning.
I needed painkillers and I needed them fast, but no matter how many cupboards or drawers I looked through in there, I couldn’t find a single pill.
Not one. That’s when the hazy memory of her bringing some to my bedside hit me again and I knew I’d be forced to go back in there if I stood any chance of diluting this agony behind my eyes.
“Fuck,” I cursed under my breath, bringing both hands to rest on my hips, looking back at the bathroom door, then over to the one that led to the corridor and eventually, the bar.
Pain meds or hair of the dog? Just the thought of putting more of that crap into my body had my stomach turning again and my eyes bleeding with imaginary pain, which left only one option open to me.
Rolling my eyes up to the ceiling, I started to make my way back through to the bedroom. I was creeping around like I was some kind of cat burglar.
Before I pushed the door open, my hand stayed there holding on to the handle as though it was asking me if this was really what I wanted to do. Every part of me knew that if I went in there and she woke up, she’d be greeted with a side of me that neither one of us liked.
When I eventually walked through, her sleeping body was still curled up on her side.
My chest expanded as I took a deep breath before I started to make my way across to the side she lay on.
There was a small chant going off in my head.
Don’t look at her, don’t look at her, pretend she doesn’t even exist…
but as my hand reached for the bottle of pills, everything was drowned out by the sound of her sleepy voice calling to me.
“Good morning,” she said, on the tail end of a yawn as she rolled onto her back. She arched from the mattress, her arms reaching above her while her legs kicked out, her ankles rotating slowly. Collapsing back against the sheets, she looked up at me and smiled. “How are you feeling?”
Shit. Half turning my face to watch her, my eyes trailed up and down her body as it stretched out in front of me.
My jaw set tight as I struggled to keep it together, the muscles twitching in double time before I lifted up the bottle of pills and let my gaze fall back on her face. “Great,” I answered sharply.
She rolled her eyes, almost as though she had expected my mood, and curled back up in a ball, her hands tucked between her thighs as her eyes flickered to the clock on the nightstand. “Oh, shit.”
My attention fell back to the bottle of heaven in my hands as I flicked the cap off. “What?”
“Work. I’m late.” She kicked out her legs and lifted her ass from the bed, digging in her pockets for what I assumed was her phone. “I can’t afford to miss another shift.”
Pouring a handful of pills into my palm, I let some filter back into the bottle before throwing a few down the hole—probably more than I should have, but at that stage, I didn’t give a fuck as long as her shrieking stopped and my head calmed down.
“What?” I snapped again, my face scrunching tight as I looked over at her and tried to swallow them without water.
“Work. Late,” she enunciated, twisting her phone in her grip and tucking strands of her hair behind her ear.
“Right. Work.”
Growling at the cell in her hands, she sat up and bounced to the edge of the bed, looking down at her jeans and barely-there tank top in frustration.
She was on her feet and shoving her phone back in her pocket before I could blink.
Her quick movements were not helping the state of my head.
“Damn. Phone’s dead. I need to find one that works. ”
My eyes closed as my brows rose high and I cringed. “Could you go find one a little more quietly?”
She shot me an amused look before pulling her shoes on and surreptitiously sniffing her shirt. My pain seemed to amuse her. “Absolutely, then I’ll put some coffee on.”
“You don’t have time.” I turned away as swiftly as I could without making my head feel like it was doing an exorcist spin. “You should probably just go. Deeks will take you wherever you need to be.” I tossed the pill bottle back down on the side and let out a long, tired, irritated sigh.
“I’m already late as it is,” she whispered. “I still have to go home and change. I can’t drag Deeks around. I’ll just take my car.”
“Yeah, just take your car. Don’t forget to keep looking over your shoulder for that bullet that could be flying through the air towards your head at any moment.
” I shook my head slowly, growling as I looked down at the floor, then back up at her.
“Just go with fucking Deeks, Ayda. I got spare clothes in my closet.”
She was already moving back towards the bed with her hands pulling her hair back to include the escaped pieces. For a moment, she wobbled before dropping her ass to the mattress and bouncing there. “Don’t be flippant about that, Drew, and you know I can’t wear your clothes.”
“Because that would be too easy, right?”
“No, because that would be some crazy possessive claim over you to those women out there.” She dropped her hands to her legs and looked up at me as though daring me to contradict her.
I stared at her in complete confusion. “A claim? Over me?”
“Drew, it didn’t take me a week to see the politics around here.
These girls, they strut around after the fact wearing yours, and…
” she flung her arms up, “any of the pack’s clothes like a trophy.
They’re saying to the other girls, ‘Look who I just fucked. Stay away until I’m through with him,’ and to the men, it’s a challenge to be next in line. There’s an order to it.”
My body turned fully and my hands fell to my waist as I ran my teeth over my bottom lip repeatedly. When I looked up at her, I saw the flash of nerves flicker across her face, even if she did try to hide it.
“You listen to me and listen good. I don’t get claimed by anyone or anything.
Take the goddamn clothes or leave them, I really don’t care.
All that high school crap that you think you see out there is all in your head.
This place is about one thing: raw, brutal honesty.
We want something? We go get it. The girls want to fuck?
They don’t hide it. They don’t even wait.
It’s basic animal instincts out there. No one cares about what hoodie is on your back, Ayda.
We’ve got bigger problems to deal with.”
I knew that I was being that asshole she had me pegged as, but with everything in my head feeling like it was being stomped on, I couldn’t find it in me to care about anything other than getting away from her.
My eyes dropped down to her mouth then back up again. “I don’t get claimed,” I repeated in a rough whisper.
She nodded in understanding and looked back down at her hands in defeat. “Understood.”
“And stop being so fucking reasonable all the time. It’s really starting to piss me off!” I didn’t give her a chance to reply before I turned and started to walk away, shouting over my shoulder as I went. “Get your things and go. I’m paying you for last night and you’re riding with Deeks today.”
“Wait! What? Excuse me?” she shouted, pushing up to her feet. “The fuck you are paying me. I’m not a fucking whore, Drew. Jesus Christ!”
I paused by the door and looked over my shoulder, glaring at her through narrowed eyes. “Maybe if you were, I wouldn’t be so eager to have you gone.”
“Go fuck yourself, and shove your protection up your ass. I’ll take the fucking threat over this bullshit.
This fight has nothing to do with me. I’m going back to my life.
Find someone else to pick up after you. I’m not some dog you can kick around.
” With that, she stormed out of the bedroom door, slamming it as hard as she could behind her.
I took a step forward to chase after her, but when reality hit that seeing her again was the last thing I could face, I stayed exactly where I was and collected myself.
I didn’t know what the hell had just happened.
I didn’t know much of anything through all the fog in my brain.
The only thing I knew with absolute certainty was this:
No one spoke to Drew Tucker like that and got away with it.
Especially not Ayda Hanagan.
Stepping back into the room, I went over to the closet in the corner, pulling out three or four hoodies before slamming the door shut and marching myself back out into the corridor.
I knew my face was set like I had a thundercloud hanging over me.
It was pretty obvious by the way the sea of people parted out in the bar area the second they glanced in my direction.
When my eyes landed on the first group of women I could find, I smirked, cleared my throat and rolled my shoulders back.
Then I made my way over and whispered quietly in the first brunette’s ear.
“Hand these around to your friends and keep them on all day. Apparently it means the four of you are mine, which also means tonight, we get to party. No matter who the fuck wants to bitch about it.”