Chapter Forty-Three #2
“Not in this yard,” Slater spoke up from somewhere in front of me.
Then there was that silence again—the kind of silence where you never know which side of it you’re going to come out on. The tension in the air was so thick, my stomach rolled from it as I stood there like nothing more than a useless ornament.
“Well, as your associate, as your enemy, and as that lover you dream of but will never get within spitting distance of touching, I’m telling you I haven’t seen your man.
I’m sure he hates this place and us as much as you do, Cortez.
But if he stops by to deliver my newspaper, I’ll be the first one to call you up. ”
I shifted from one leg to the other. I couldn’t fucking help it.
I was close enough to Deeks that I was pretty sure no one in front of him saw it, but the intensity from behind me made me freeze the moment I felt it.
This was almost as bad as pulling teeth, and I swore to myself then that if I ever heard someone had rolled up again, I was going to stay in Drew’s bedroom and wait it out.
The combative nature between Drew and Chester was obvious, but even blind, I could feel the palpability of the hatred. It rolled from the two of them and put tension in every man on the porch.
“I’ll keep that in mind, Drew. Good looking out.” The way Chester said it once again made the hair on my arms stand on end. There was a threat buried deep in there, but no one else seemed to feel it. They all seemed frozen in place and locked down.
I wasn’t sure what happened with them at that point.
All I could hear was the crunching of ground beneath the soles of boots and the creaking of leather as some men folded their arms and others dropped theirs down by their sides.
I was too busy holding my breath and waiting for the sound of shots to fire in the air to really make sense of any of it.
It was only when Drew spoke up one last time that I knew he was still safe and more than anything, in charge.
“Cortez?” he shouted out calmly.
No response came from Chester, but I could imagine his face angled up to Drew’s and the look of arrogance that he was no doubt wearing as he waited for him to finish.
“If you ever come through my yard uninvited again, I’ll kill you. You got that?”
The laughter that came from Chester was cut off by the roar of his bike starting, the other two coming to life behind his.
I froze as the sound got louder before leaving and sending up a cloud of dust around us.
Looking around Deeks, I saw a couple of guys jump from the porch to lock the gates, and Slater hopped down to talk to Drew quietly.
“Deeks?” I whispered so he was the only person who could hear me in the fading of the engines as they hit the street. “Who’s Ramirez?”
Deeks half turned, his eyes moving between Drew and me before he lowered his voice and leaned in closer. “Ramirez is the one that killed Pete, but you’d do best forgetting that name and not bringing it up in front of Drew.”
I nodded in agreement. The last thing I wanted was to make matters worse, and I was already worried about the repercussions of what had just happened, even though it hadn’t really been my choice to be out there, and it sure as hell hadn’t been my plan to be prancing around outside his room in his cut.
The mumbles started only seconds before the bodies seemed to part, and I found myself face to face with Drew. I couldn’t read his expression, and I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, or if it was for my benefit or the pack’s.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, receiving a shake of his head in response as his arm curled around my neck and pulled me close. The other hand reached out to slap Slater on the chest, asking him to give him ten minutes.
No one said a word as he towed us both through the main room, but the stares we both got had me shrinking into the leather until I was close to tears by the time we entered his room again. The only thing that stopped me was shame.
“I’m so sorry, Drew.”
His jaw was tense when he turned my body in his arms and faced me.
I couldn’t get a read on him while I watched his nostrils flare.
I knew he was trying to calm himself. All I could hope was that his rage hadn’t been anything to do with me or the situation I’d put myself in.
When his hands met my shoulders to give them a gentle squeeze, his breath came out in one strong force.
“This was what I was talking about when I told you to go before it was too late. You’re making apologies when that should be on me. I’m the one who should be sorry. Not you.”
Lifting my arm, I cupped his cheek with my hand, sighing as he pressed his face against it and dropped his chin to his chest. I hated seeing him like this, but for better or worse, it gave me strength.
“Drew, I’m here because I want to be. I’m here because being with you like this makes me happy.
” I tugged the side of the leather vest back with my free hand and tilted my head to the side.
“I’m wearing this because I accept you for who you are.
All I’m apologizing for is not thinking when you were so obviously focused on other things. ”
His hands slid up to my neck again, his face moving closer to mine while he stared down on me intensely. “Ayda?”
“Yes?” I whispered, suddenly terrified he was going to ask me to leave.
“Shut up.”
Then his lips met mine. It wasn’t the same kind of kiss we’d shared before we’d been interrupted.
This one was more intense, the playfulness and neediness replaced with passion and affirmation.
I knew he was going to have to leave to sort out this mess sooner rather than later, but the yearning for him was almost painful.
I needed him pressed up against me and inside me.
I needed that look he gave me just before he took what he wanted from my body.
I wanted to be wanted. I needed to be needed, and he was the only one that could fulfill that anymore.
I was in it for the long haul. I’d made my decision and I’d chosen him.