Chapter 39 #2
“Save him,” I quietly demanded of no one in particular while standing feebly on weakened legs, my arms wrapped around my stomach, trying to hold everything together as my world crumbled and shattered into painful shards around me.
I wasn’t sure how long I was standing alone there—waiting.
People and staff came and went through those doors over and over again, walking around me as I stared at the seam of the doors waiting for someone who would tell me what was going on.
Eventually, a kindly woman in scrubs stepped out from them, and with a small sympathetic sigh wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me into a small area with chairs and vending machines.
I sat, and she took the seat next to mine, her voice a murmur as she asked questions and offered reassurances that went unanswered.
I trembled so violently, my teeth made an awful clicking sound, and the tears continued to fall.
I knew it was helping nothing, achieving nothing, but the fear of losing Drew, the very thought of not seeing him scowling at me when I did something stupid or seeing that smile he gave me when no one else was looking, or the touch of his strong hands when I needed him the most… it all crushed me.
I had shared so many firsts with Drew in our short time together.
I’d discovered so much about who I was when I was loved by the right person.
But I hadn’t learned every one of his emotions yet.
I hadn’t taught myself what every line on his handsome face meant.
I hadn’t explored every scar and muscle on his body.
I hadn’t had enough time to worship him the way he deserved to be worshipped.
I wasn’t ready for everything that we’d shared to be the last of anything.
Our last kiss.
Our last I love you.
Our last smile.
I hadn’t had him long enough.
He was my forever, and the thought of saying goodbye crushed me under the weight of it.
I was barely aware that the nurse stayed with me until some familiar faces began crowding the room around me. I wasn’t even sure who the faces belonged to.
I was numb and cold, unable to see anything but the door that Drew had disappeared through, my heart barely held together by the last string of hope that I would see him again as people moved around me.
I think The Hounds came in first. The faces I saw were bruised and covered in blood, each one heartbroken and cautious as they studied me like I was a bomb that was about to go off.
The Babylon Police Department showed up in force looking pained, unsure how to approach me or what to do as they set themselves up as a barrier between The Hounds and the ATF.
The ATF agents who had showed up behind them were standing around the information desk, looking concerned and bored at the same time.
The Babylonians who showed up wanted news.
Family, friends, and neighbors alike were all worried about Drew, but I couldn’t tell any of them apart because my eyes were still on those fucking swinging doors.
Waiting.
My eyes were still crowded with tears.
Waiting.
My heart still full of hopelessness.
Waiting.
All I could do was wait.
I was waiting for anything.
News.
Information.
Pain.
Torture.
The end of the world as I knew it.
I wouldn’t let anyone touch me.
I couldn’t.
I couldn’t have comfort because I knew it would only allow me to fall apart, and I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to put myself back together if I let go of that tentative hold I had right now.
The only beacon of hope I had was focusing on those doors, and any news about Drew that would eventually come through them. I’d almost lost myself to the pain when Tate and Rubin finally sat on either side of me, each picking up a hand and holding the same silent vigil I was holding.
I breathed through the pulsing, painful emotions enough to find my breath encouraged by the strength they loaned me, but almost lost my shit all over again when Autumn took the seat behind me and stroked my hair in that loving maternal way of hers that promised comfort I didn’t deserve.
There were so many people offering me love and support, and I only wanted the arms of one person.
Drew.
My Drew.
The man who always got up.
The man who had all the answers.
The only man I had ever really loved in my life.
The man that every single person in this room with me loved as fervently as I did. Did he even know how much love existed in this world for him?
As if I knew what was about to happen, I looked up a second before the doctor stepped through the doors that Drew had disappeared through.
The whole waiting room shifted in that direction, the clatter of chairs and a rolling murmur moved through every last one of the people occupying the space.
It had to have been hours since we’d arrived, and not a soul outside of those of us waiting for news on Drew was in that room. The mood was too volatile.
“Mrs. Tucker?” the doctor asked, stopping about four feet away, trying his best not to stare at the crowd that had gathered behind me.
I rose to my feet and felt Tate’s hand steady me as I rocked on my heels and tried my best to find the strength in my legs. I nodded, not even attempting to correct him.
“I’m Doctor Atwood,” he said, pausing again and glancing behind me.
He motioned me forward, and I stepped to him.
Lowering his voice, he continued quietly.
“We had to take Drew into emergency surgery to stop the bleeding. He’s still in critical condition, and he may need more surgeries before the night is over, but his father, who was also admitted, suggested that your husband would do better with you in the recovery room with him. ”
Doctor Atwood swung a hand out to the doors in an invitation for me to walk with him, and selfishly, I didn’t so much as glance back at the men behind me as I started walking.
My only need at that moment was to get to Drew.
He was alive.
I took my first real breath in hours and caught up with him.
I listened to the doctor talk as we walked through the hospital with quick steps, his words not really sinking in as he threw around medical terms I couldn’t understand.
I caught a few important things. Drew had swelling around his brain, which could be a concussion.
The knife that had gone through his side would have punctured his lung had it not been for his rib, which now had a fracture from the blade.
He had four broken ribs, an orbital fracture, in which they had immediately realigned at the sphenozygomatic suture line, and they were watching his blood work to make sure there was no internal bleeding.
Aside from that mouthful of medical terms, I did pick up some extra key points that I’d needed to hear.
Drew was in critical condition.
He’d won a single battle for now but was still amidst the war of recovery.
Lastly, I needed to be prepared for what I was about to be faced with.
I was very glad about that last warning.
Walking into the hospital room and seeing all of the wires and tubes connected to Drew’s body almost broke me.
He looked frail, lost amidst a sea of gray and white plastic, while small lights flashed on monitors and machines beeped, not allowing for silence.
I stumbled inside with my hand on my mouth—my tears filling my eyes again as I sank down into the chair next to his bed and just stared at him.
“I’ll send in a nurse with some scrubs for you to change into, and something to eat. Your father-in-law also said you were pregnant.”
I nodded. Not really paying that much attention to what he was saying now. Being this close to Drew, seeing his breath forcing his chest to rise and fall helped, I could finally see with my own two eyes he really was alive.
“Doctor?” I asked suddenly, my voice hoarse and broken.
“Yes, Mrs. Tucker?”
“Can I…” I stopped and took a deep breath as my voice cracked. “Can I touch him?”
Doctor Atwood paused at the door, a kind but sad smile passing over his lips. “You can eventually, but first I’ll send in a nurse with a change of clothes for you, and some toiletries. You’re still covered in his blood, and your husband is in a delicate state. He can’t afford an infection.”
I looked down at my hands and studied the long-dried dark blood that coated my fingertips and forearms. I nodded in agreement. When I looked up again, the doctor was gone, and I was finally alone with Drew and a room full of machines that were keeping him alive.
A shower was a good idea before I touched him, I decided.
Leaning in closer, I whispered to him, hoping to God that he could hear me.
“You better come back to me, Drew Tucker.”