Chapter 44
Chapter Forty-Four
DREW
Since waking, the men had been drip fed into my room over a period of days.
I was broken and receiving sympathy that didn’t sit well with me.
Sympathy should be saved for those who hadn’t walked into the lion’s den the way I had so willingly.
My protests went ignored. They were giving their sympathies to me whether I approved of them or not.
Ayda barely left my side—her smile forever fixed in place every time she looked over and saw my eyes open. Every now and again, she would stand by my bed and press her fingertips to my heart, and her eyes would mist over with gratitude.
My body had been in pain for days, but Ayda’s heart had suffered just as much.
After some emotional reunions with Slater, Jedd, Deeks, Kenny, Tate, and the others, it was finally time for me to see my father and the kid brother I never knew I had.
Brother.
The thought of what we could have been to one another, had we known, haunted me every time I thought about it, but I shut those thoughts down most of the time with a reminder to myself that, while Rubin hadn’t had it easy with Mayor Walsh, he’d also never had to put himself too close to the blade to survive the way I had.
There was a small grain of gratitude toward my father and Carolyn Walsh for that.
Ayda had been making small talk to keep my foggy mind busy while we waited for them both to arrive, and I was grateful for her efforts, though they still didn’t stop my heart beating faster when Eric gently tapped his knuckles on my hospital room door before he opened it up slowly, his eyes instantly connecting with mine.
There isn’t a son in the world who doesn’t long to see pride shining from their father’s eyes, but even I had to admit that the sight of it took me by surprise when he walked in with a tired-looking Rubin following behind.
Ayda’s hand slipped into mine and squeezed gently. “Hey, guys.”
Dad tipped his head at Ayda, with Rubin offering a feeble wave and a soft, “Hi,” before he took me in for the first time, and his face fell.
“Shit,” he whispered.
“I know I look bad, kid, but is it really that bad?”
Rubin stood there, his expression blank.
“We need to work on his game face,” Eric said roughly.
“No kidding.” I smirked, leaning back on my pillow and releasing a tired sigh. “It’s nice to see you, too, Rubin.”
“Sorry, Drew. I just couldn’t imagine it being true, that’s all.”
“What?” I arched a brow, eyeing him as he shuffled and tugged the sleeves of his hoodie down over his bunched up hands.
“That you could ever get beaten that way.”
I felt Ayda’s hand tense in mine for only a second before it relaxed again.
“This is what happens when a sadistic fuck is given too much power,” she said quietly.
“She doesn’t mean me,” I whispered back at Rubin, tipping my head her way while offering him a paralyzed wink.
A quiet snort fell from Ayda. “They know that. I have better names for you.”
“I can imagine,” I mumbled to myself, looking up at Dad who was standing at the end of my bed, his good hand now tucked deep inside the pocket of his jeans.
He was wearing his signature flannel shirt, the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, open at the chest with a dark gray T-shirt underneath.
The man wore his clothing like a uniform—a signature look he somehow managed to carry off like he invented it.
“Missed me, Eric?” I asked playfully, my throat scratchy and sore still.
“Yeah, actually.”
“No sarcastic comeback. Wow.” I glanced at Rubin. “Don’t tell me y’all have gotten boring since I got knocked out.”
Rubin looked up at Eric, his eyes wide before he let them drop back to me, and I wondered if he saw it the way I could see it so clearly now—the way I should have seen it all those days and weeks before.
He didn’t look the same as Eric and me, but Rubin held the same respect for those he saw as above him, and he carried himself in a similar manner.
Honesty shone from his face, whether he meant to hide it or not, and he always found a way to read the room he was standing in.
“What’s wrong, Rubin?” I asked quietly, knowing he had lots of things to say and many questions to ask.
“Nothing.”
“You’re a really bad liar.”
Rubin looked at Eric yet again, as though seeking permission for something I clearly wasn’t aware of.
When Eric side-eyed him, he gave a subtle nod of approval, and I watched as Rubin’s shoulders fell with relief.
He moved across the room carefully, coming to stand on the opposite side of the bed from Ayda.
There was a look in Rubin’s eyes I’d never seen before—a peace, almost, and a young boy who was transitioning into the man he’d always wanted to become.
“I spoke to my dad the other day,” Rubin began.
“Yeah?” I croaked, clearing my throat and looking at Eric who was giving nothing away before I looked back up at Rubin.
“Yeah.” Rubin nodded. “I got to sit down opposite him for the first time properly. We were like two adults having this conversation I couldn’t keep up with at first. He was throwing all these words at me I didn’t understand, saying he was sorry, asking for my forgiveness and begging me to give him a chance. ”
“How did that make you feel?”
“Weird.” Rubin sighed. “He said he’s made a lot of mistakes in his life, done things he shouldn’t have done. Said things he shouldn’t have said. Hurt people he shouldn’t have hurt. He told me he always managed to sleep okay at night because, deep down, he thought his intentions were good.”
Good? I wanted to cry out. Walsh didn’t have a good intention in his bone marrow, and he wasn’t the kind of man to beg for forgiveness.
All my nerves were tingling, waking up from their slumber, telling me to say something that would wake Rubin up from this dangerous path he was about to go down, but then he spoke again, and everything I wanted to say got swept away with the words he breathed in front of me.
“Do you believe him, Drew? Do you believe our dad? Do you think his intentions have always been good?”
He knew.
The kid fucking knew.
My lips parted in shock, and I turned back to Eric, eyes wide and heart beating in that hectic rhythm it had gotten so used to recently.
I stared at Eric Tucker like it was the first time I was seeing him, and there he stood, proud and unashamed, an innocence shining through as a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
“Well, Drew?” Eric asked, bunching his shoulders together. “Answer your brother. Do you think your father’s intentions have always been good?”
“I can’t believe you found the balls to tell him,” I whispered back, my lips barely moving.
“Where do you think you got your balls from, son?”
“You could have given me a head’s up.”
“I asked him not to,” Rubin said, bringing my attention back to him. He was now smiling too. A glint of excitement shining from his eyes. “Brother…” he added.
“Holy shit, the kid’s got balls, too.”
“Not really. I’m not brave like you—more relieved to know that the man I shot isn’t my real dad. Relieved to be away from him. Relieved that I don’t need to feel guilty about not feeling guilty that he’s going to spend a long time in prison... some of his sentence thanks to me.”
“That’s a lot of relief.” I sighed.
“Maybe you can teach me to be brave one day.”
“As long as he teaches you to be brave and not stupid,” Eric interrupted. I didn’t need to look at him to flip him the bird, my own weak smile trying to break free when I heard his responding laughter.
“How do you feel about it, kid?” I dared myself to ask.
“Honestly? I don’t really know yet. I guess it makes sense why The Hut always felt like home, and why defending The Hounds always came so easily to me. It was like some kind of…”
“... connection,” I finished for him.
“Yeah. An indescribable bond that didn’t make sense to me when written on paper, but made sense to the way it made me happy to be around Tate and you guys.”
“You’ve always been a part of my family, Rubix cube,” Ayda teased. “But once Drew makes an honest woman of me, it’ll be official.”
“And once Ayda stops calling you Rubix Cube. That’s way too cute for a Hound.”
“Still better than some of the names I have for you.”
I squeezed her hand back as firmly as I could, which, given my current state of being weaker than piss, wasn’t very firm at all. “Ah, my sweet, loving future wife.” I smiled up at Rubin. “Don’t you just love her and her smart mouth?”