Chapter 19 #2
“The weak link,” I mumbled under my breath, pressing my back against the wall so I could feel the gun pressing into my spine. I refused to think of myself that way now. I wasn’t going to be a tool used against Drew and the club, and this time I damn well meant it.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“Drew wants to hurt Jon, he wants him to suffer.” I paused and met Helen’s eyes. “He thought you were his weak link. He thought your death would be enough but...”
Helen smiled at me, a shrewd look in her eyes.
“Clever girl. Taking me away was never the way to get in Jon’s head and really fuck with him.
If you want to damage him irreparably, you guys really do need me alive.
” She rolled her body in the water, resting an arm over the edge of the tub, pressing her chin into the flesh as she grinned conspiratorially at me.
My mind started working, a slow ticking passing by the despicable thoughts. I could see the retribution in the glint of her eyes as she studied me.
“Help me wash this shit out of my hair, and I’ll tell you everything you need to know. I think I may know a few things The Hounds can’t possibly know about. Things that might help them win the war. But, naturally, I also have a few conditions.”
I gave her my best impression of one of Drew’s smirks. “How did I know that was coming?”
“I already told you, honey. You’re a smart girl.”
I’d left the safe house the moment I’d chained Helen to the bed again, although she was clean and in new clothes, resting on fresh sheets.
She looked much happier and satisfied, and she even seemed to enjoy the salad I’d brought for her.
I hadn’t made her any promises about what would happen, but I had offered to put the plan in front of Drew and let him make the call.
We’d spoken for a while longer, both of us laying down the ideas and conclusions we’d come to.
At the end of it all, we found that our thoughts weren’t too dissimilar.
She’d attributed that to being around hardened men, and though I disagreed with her, I didn’t dispel her of the notion.
She saw this as a connection between the two of us, a link of some kind, and I wanted to let her keep thinking that until I heard Drew’s thoughts on the matter.
I went over everything I’d discovered on the drive back to The Hut, words spilling over themselves in my head as I tried to get my thoughts in order enough to put into sentences.
Helen was more than happy to talk to me, and she wanted to hurt Jon as much as Drew did.
She was an anomaly that seemed willing to work with us on this, and after her story, I could see why.
Jon Taylor was a goddamn monster, and that ran deeper than even Drew could have possibly known.
I pulled up outside of The Hut and slid into my normal space, ignoring the surprised looks on some of the faces on the porch when I hopped out and pushed the door closed with too much force.
I spotted Eric’s confident lurch, stepping outside with a beer in his hand and his usual smirk fixed in place.
I hopped up the porch steps and ignored the tip of both his beer and his head in greeting.
I didn’t hate him quite so much after our confrontation, but I still didn’t like or trust him.
He hid too much. His unavailable answers bothered me.
I blinked the moment the darkness swallowed me when I stepped inside The Hut.
The darkened contrast to the bright sunshine outside was startling.
I heard the usual grumblings from the whores lounging around waiting for something to do, and I waved at the greetings that came from the bar as my eyes finally adapted.
I managed to make it through the open floor plan, only to come to a dead stop when I saw Libby rushing from the room she shared with Tate, her face scrunched tight and tears in her eyes.
“Lib?”
She only stopped long enough for her steps to falter and trip her momentarily. With wide, wet eyes she took me in and gazed back at the room Tate was in.
“I just need some time,” she said, moving from a walk to a run as she blew by me.
As much as I wanted to follow her, to make sure she was okay, I now had to make the club a priority more than I ever had before.
So I let her go, and with a quick glance at her retreating back, I made my way to Drew’s office.
The door was standing open when I approached and leaned inside. Drew was sitting behind his desk looking lost in thought, his handsome face smooth of the worried lines I’d acquainted myself with over the past couple of months.
“You busy?” I asked, slapping my palm against the doorframe to announce myself.
He looked up quickly, his smile slow and inviting.
“Yeah,” he answered smoothly. “Way too busy for you.” He grinned.
I made a face and stepped inside, pausing for only a second as I considered closing the door behind me. I left it open, figuring there was nothing to hide right now, and I crossed the room, slipping into Drew’s lap unapologetically.
“I think I may have something of interest for you,” I said. “I’ve just come back from the safe house.”
He wrapped his arms around my waist, leaned back in his chair comfortably, and looked up at me with a raised brow. “Did you take anyone with you?” I could see the subtle flash of panic in his eyes, even though he tried to fake it with a nonchalant approach. “Were you safe? Not followed?”
Running my thumb over his bottom lip, I smiled down at him.
“I followed your protocol to the letter. No one followed me. I made three wrong turns before I made the one to the safe house, and there were no cars close to me at any time. I was also very safe, and I had my gun with me. I listen to you.”
“Get naked right now.”
I moved my hands to the button of my pants and popped it open with no hesitance. “Do you want to know what I found out now, or after you’ve fucked me on your desk, oh mighty, powerful fiancé?”
Pressing a hand over mine, he stopped me in my tracks, his eyes soft but somehow commanding.
“As much as I’d love to bend you over and hurt you in ways that would make you beg for more, I know how this goes.
We screw, we lose track, we forget why you came in here, and then we happen to be one step closer to that football team I’m wanting.
So, for the sake of all our brothers… tell me what you know. ”
He was right about the distraction, I was already allowing my head to take me down the path he’d just opened up, and I wasn’t really sure this was something that could wait.
Helen had given me some food for thought, but I was also pretty sure she was holding shit back until she had the deal she wanted. Time was important.
“Did you know Jon Taylor beat his wife?”
“A man like him? It was a given.”
“He almost killed her. He beat her in front of her kids, controlled her every move. He was an animal, and she was stuck.” I looked down at him and offered a small smile.
“It also made her hate him. She wants to live, Drew, so she’s willing to make a deal with you.
I think she knows more than she told me just now.
I think she’s waiting for you to be willing to talk to her. ”
He was looking straight into my eyes, but I could tell his head was somewhere else. He was more capable than he realized that way. The man’s mind was a maze of thoughts, structure, strategies, plans, and motives none of us could ever navigate.
“You think we can trust her?” he asked quietly.
“Honestly?” I paused, not really needing a response.
“I think we can trust how much she loves her kids and hates Jon. She mentioned conditions to her cooperation, but the most she would give me was that she wanted to disappear with the girls. I believe she’s willing to stay dead in the way she’s dead now. ”
“A cover-up?” He frowned. “Helen wants the world to think she’s dead?”
“She’s scared. She wants to get as far away from Jon Taylor as she can get, and she wants her girls to be free, too. It could be worth at least talking to her.”
“If people think she’s dead, they’re going to look for her killer.
That shit’s going to lead straight back to us.
After Harry, The Hounds are under the spotlight.
The only way I can make Helen appear dead is to make sure she is.
” He pulled his chin back, inhaling through his nose before he released it slowly.
“The only person who thinks she’s dead so far is Jon Taylor himself.
We’ve been keeping our noses and ears to the ground.
Sutton hasn’t reported any missing persons, and…
wait.” He stopped, tilted his head to one side and narrowed his eyes.
“First Eric came in here talking to me about Helen. Now you. I’m repeating myself here.
Are you two working together to convince me—? ”
“Have you lost your damn mind?” I asked before he could finish the absurd line of thought.
“Eric and me working together on anything? Jesus, Drew. I don’t know what he’s up to, but I got some information from Helen.
I figured you’d want to know about that, and when she made the offer just now, I told her I would relay the information, but that was it.
I’m not up to anything. I just know you can’t keep her locked up forever.
” I placed my hand on his heart and inhaled a long breath.
“I feel bad for her, too. Jon Taylor was such a bastard. He broke her bones and almost killed her, and… Drew she thought that’s who you were, too.
She saw you as controlling, full of rage, violent.
I just saw how broken she was and figured that this could be her way out. ”
Drew placed his hand over mine and pressed it to his chest. “Ayda, I shot her in the fucking arm,” he whispered, face serious and eyes calm.
“She has every right to think I’m controlling, full of rage, and violent.
That’s exactly what I was and who I was that day.
It’s who she’s seen me be a few times at the safe house.
And I have no right to hate Jon even more for what he did to his wife and kids than for what he did to me, but I do.
I really do.” His jaw clenched again, his head shaking slowly as he looked at me.
“The double standards of the president of The Hounds of fucking Babylon, hey?” He sighed, moving his hand away from mine, reaching up to pinch my chin between his thumb and finger.
“I’ll talk with Helen. I’ll see what she has to offer.
But I’m going to need you there. I’m going to need you to be the reason while I’ll probably be the roar. ”
I leaned toward him, my forehead touching his. “Where else would I be?”
He smiled his smile, pushing forward to kiss me.
The kiss wasn’t passionate, but more reassuring.
When he pulled away, and we opened our eyes, he was nodding slowly, like he’d made some resolution in his thoughts while we’d been connected.
Like he was realizing a truth or something was clicking into place for him.
Raising a hand, Drew cupped my cheek, dusting his thumb along my skin with a tenderness reserved only for me.
“I know you don’t doubt me,” he began in a heated whisper.
“I know that when I push, you push back harder. I know you love me enough to be in denial most of the time about what a cruel bastard I can be. I know I’ve sheltered you from who I’ve been in the past and who I’ve been even while with you.
I know all these things and more. I know you’d still love me even if I told you I murdered fucking kittens because that’s just who you are.
Loyal. Committed… Mine. I know that you’re mine no matter what I do, but I need to say this anyway.
I need you to know… I’m capable of many, many coldhearted things, Ayda—and I’ll be honest, I don’t give a fuck what happens to Helen Taylor when I compare her to my family, my brothers, and you—but one thing I’m not capable of is hurting you that way.
I could never lay a hand on your skin in temper and be able to look myself in the mirror the next day.
I can assure you of that. And if I ever did…
I want you to be the first person to put a bullet in me and take me away from this life.
Because if there ever comes a day when I lose myself enough to hurt you that way, then I’m too far gone to ever bring back. ”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I knew he would never hurt me.
I’d told Helen the very same thing with conviction, but the sincerity and love in which he said this now left me with only one choice…
so I leaned in and kissed him, showing him that I would follow him into the depths of Hell if he needed me to.
Just him, me, and the fire.