45. SEVEN YEARS AGO
FORTY-FIVE
SEVEN YEARS AGO
A FEW WEEKS AFTER GRADUATION
PAIGE
“You’re thinking too much,” Gram read from the script.
“You’re thinking too much,” I delivered my line back to her.
Her eyes squinted. “That’s the only line for half the damn page. The two of you going back and forth saying ‘you think too much.’”
I snorted, nodding. “Yeah, in the scene, my character is working with another girl on her Meisner technique.”
“Ahh, Meisner. Brother of Kaiser,” Gram said astutely, like a fact, and I cracked the hell up.
Buffy bless. “Wow. No.” Another laugh pushed past my lips and I told her, “It’s an acting technique.”
Gram laughed. “Technique, shmecknique.”
I shook my head. “You really are the world’s greatest undiscovered rap talent, Lemon Lady.”
She shrugged. “The world isn’t ready for me.” Her tea kettle whistled, and she stood carefully, walking over to it. “So, what time are you kids leaving tomorrow?”
“Early,” I groaned. “My call-time is way earlier than Linc’s—I have to be there by ten. I keep wondering if we should just leave tonight after Christine gets home.”
“Where did this worry-wart mentality come from?” she chuckled. “Wait till the morning—better to drive in the daylight. And it’s San Diego, not the moon.” I nodded, agreeing. Then Gram said, “Have you heard from Ellis?”
My shoulders slumped. “He has shitty service, but he called a couple nights ago when he landed.”
Ellis and his gap-year plans were going to make for a rough 358 days.
But who’s counting?
He’d given us plenty of warning. It had always been his plan to literally take off after graduation. Kerouac-ing his ass around the world—which started at some elephant reservation in Thailand a few days ago. And while Linc and I both missed him like crazy, we also knew this was important to him. An adventure.
And he promised to bring us presents.
“I miss him,” Gram said. “I’ll need to make notes for our monthly meetings so I don’t forget anything.”
My eyes scrunched. “Meetings?”
She poured some honey into her mug, and I tried to not scrutinize the amount. She stopped pouring to stir, and I cringed inwardly, hoping she didn’t notice.
“We get together once a month to talk about all of you,” she clarified. Her tone was teasing, and it loosened my shoulders as a noise—something between a sigh and a laugh pushed past my lips.
Things had mostly gone back to normal since her fall a couple of months ago—except my silent inventory of all her habits.
Everything she ate, every bout of tiredness.
Since her back had fully healed, so had her habit of fluttering around nonstop, but the doctor wanted us to try and regulate her blood pressure, which was still higher than he liked to see.
All in moderation, as he said.
The word didn’t exist in my head, apparently. But part of my incessant moderation came from the massive guilt I felt at the hospital.
The doctor had asked me about what she’d done that day—if she seemed “off,” or anything—and I couldn’t remember.
From what I could recall, she seemed fine. Maybe a little tired—she was napping in the hammock when I left for Queenie’s.
So, I think at least part of my obsessive watching was because I felt like I’d missed something, and I didn’t want to miss it again.
Plus, I was already anxious, knowing I was about to be out of town for a few days—without Ellis to tap in.
It would be fine, I reminded myself again, Gram could take care of herself. And it was only a few days. She was probably looking forward to getting a break from me, honestly.
My phone started buzzing from the table, and I smiled when I saw Linc’s picture pop up.
His messy dark hair. A smirk so sexy it made my knees shake.
I answered, “Hi, you’re on speaker with me and Gram.”
“No dirty talk!” she called out.
Linc chuckled awkwardly, as he should, and I squinted my eyes in her direction as he said, “Uhh—”
A few quiet seconds passed, and when he didn’t say anything else, I asked, “Everything okay?”
He cleared his throat. “Uhh—I mean, it’s nothing major. I mean, it is, but I have a temporary solution. I just don’t know how much you’re gonna like it.”
“You’ve sold it well. Go on,” I quipped, making Gram breathe a small laugh.
I could hear the flick of a lighter through the phone, and the muted sound of his inhale just before he said, “The engine on the truck finally blew.”
My eyes widened. “Holy shit. That’s like . . .”
“Just over five thousand dollars,” he said, and I caught the bitterness in his tone. “And that’s with me doing some of the labor. Benny said he’d work with me on it, but the car’s not even worth half of that.”
My lips pulled in, flattening my mouth. We knew our days were numbered with his truck, but damn.
Linc cleared his throat. “Anyway, it’s definitely not worth replacing it—but the bigger problem is, even if I did get it fixed, it won’t be ready by tomorrow. It won’t be ready by next week.”
Right. Shit. We had our first professional jobs —out of town— and they started tomorrow morning.
“Okay. So, you have a questionable plan . . .” I prodded, hearing Linc take another drag.
“I talked to Jeremy. He was gonna leave tonight, but he said he’d wait till tomorrow and we could catch a ride with him in the morning. I’ll just have to figure out the car when we get back.” He said it all with an inching inflection—kind of like it was a question.
I pinned my bottom lip with my teeth.
He was right. I didn’t love that plan.
He knew I was part Gremlin that early in the morning, but . . . there was something else buzzing my awareness, and I just couldn’t quite figure out why.
Mr. Harris had gone above and beyond to help out Linc, and he’d used some of his connections to get me multiple opportunities this year. So other than his weird-ass play back in February, I had zero grounds to feel any sort of way about him other than grateful.
It was probably just my anxiety about leaving Gram, mixing with the constant current of my nerves. I’d pretty much been a chaotic stream of unease since I was offered the role last month.
“You guys can take the station wagon. I can walk to the library for a few days,” Gram said.
“No,” I said quickly —too quickly— but I shook my head. “No, it’s okay. What time does he wanna leave, Linc?”
“I think five,” he said, already sounding exhausted. “My mom should be off around three. I’ll just ask her to drop me off, and Jeremy can pick us up at your house.”
I nodded. That meant a couple hours of cuddle time before the trip. That would help. “Sounds good.”
Linc took a breath, then said, “‘Kay, cool. Love you, I’ll see you then.”
I said it back before I hung up.
Gram sipped her tea from her spot in front of the sink, staring at me.
My eyes squinted. “What?”
She shrugged. “You seem nervous. Got some big plans for this little getaway?”
There was no hiding her insinuation and I felt a heat spread up my cheeks. “Gram!” I gaped. Damn her strange spicy intuition. Her and Ellis were like sportscasters for lust.
And of course, I was nervous about that too.
Linc and I were ready to fucking burst. I was nearly certain that the second we were alone, in a locked hotel room, we’d skip right over all the bases we hadn’t made it to yet, and pretty much . . . well, slide right home, I guess, to keep up with the baseball analogy.
But I wouldn’t be talking about it with Gram. I cleared my throat. “I’m nervous because it’s my first movie, and I wanna do well. And now I don’t have the car ride to word vomit all my anxiety onto Linc,” I whined the half-truth, then deadpanned. “He’ll be so disappointed.”
Gram’s smile softened with another laugh. “Oh, baby,” she sighed and walked over to me. I was still sitting at the table, and she cupped the back of my head, pulling me into her. “You always shine, Paigey May. And no one knows that better than the boy who will be helping behind the cameras. No matter what, you’ll have each other. You can’t underestimate the power of back-up out there in the big bad real world.” She was essentially hugging my head, and I giggled as I nestled my nose into the soft yarn of her sweater, catching a few sniffs of her Irish breakfast tea and the honey.
A little whiff of courage.
“Thanks, Gram.”
LINC
We slowly pulled up to the pale yellow cottage at the end of the cul-de-sac. 3:16 a.m.
Ugh. It was gonna be a long day. I’d only gotten to sleep for a couple of hours before my mom got home. And I had less than no chance of getting any sleep once I was next to Paige.
Mom yawned from the driver’s seat as she pulled into the driveway. Her brown hair was piled in a knot on top of her head, but she smiled over at me.
“Thanks for the ride. Sorry, I know you’ve had a long day.”
She rustled her fingers through my hair, giving them a playful shake as she shook off another yawn. “Oh, kid. It feels good to help you out every once in a while. You’re just . . .” Her eyes looked a little glassy. It was probably from her yawns, but I could see some kind of emotion peeking out of her exhaustion. “I’m just so proud of you. How’d you turn out so good?”
I snorted, but it was half-hearted. I knew she felt guilty for how much she had to work—how much she missed because she had to work. But I never resented her for it. All she was guilty of was surviving. She didn’t abandon ship like my asshole father did.
“All right,” she said. “Well, I know you’ll be busy, but make sure you check in, okay?” I nodded as she leaned over, giving me a hug, and kissing my cheek. “Love you, baby boy.”
“Love you too,” I mumbled, hugging her back.
Jeremy seemed to think this job would lead to more camera work for me. If I could get something consistent, maybe I could start pulling in enough money that my mom could cut back at the hospital.
She finally released me, but gave me a small clap on my shoulder before she said, “Oh, and uh—don’t forget to use protection, okay?”
It took me a second to realize what the hell she was talking about before my eyebrows flinched. Ugh.
Despite the fact that I’d used my key, pushing in through the mudroom in the middle of the night still felt sketchy as fuck.
I put my bag down and took off my shoes, then walked as quietly as I could through the kitchen, the living room, and up the stairs. But the floorboards under the steps were impossible to keep quiet.
I finally made it to Paige’s room, and she was lying in her bed, stirring, but holy fuck.
She was only wearing a tank top and panties, while her golden hair fell in messy waves over her shoulder.
“Who needs an alarm system when your house basically screams ‘someone’s stepping on me’?” she said, smiling, her eyes still closed.
I wanted to laugh, but I was stuck on her bare legs, my curious eyes already roaming.
Finally one of her eyes peeled open. “Are you getting in, or what?”
I quickly slid into bed, right next to her, and she curled herself into me.
My arms wrapped around her, pulling her as close as possible, feeling that her hair was damp. The citrus to her scent had a zesty flare—freshly showered—and I breathed in deep.
I nearly moaned on my exhale, muttering, “You’ve got a lot of nerve inviting me over for a slumber party, and then ambushing me with a pantless Pip.” My hands roamed every bit of her—her lower back, her belly, her shoulders.
“ Mmm ,” she made a soft noise, burrowing her face in my chest. “And here I thought I was being considerate. Usually I sleep naked.”
My heart picked up speed at the thought. If I had come in here and she had been naked my brain might have drained out of my ears.
Would she sleep naked at the hotel?
Her sleepy giggle cut off my stream of consciousness before she said, “They’re not even sexy underwear.”
I grunted, knowing just how un-fucking-true that was —but how could I call her bluff if I didn’t take a look? My eyes peeked down, seeing white cotton panties with little bees on them, and my mouth ticked up at the corner.
So fucking cute.
“You’re right. They’re hideous. You should take them off,” I said, pulling her into me and nibbling on her ear.
She giggled again, pressing a kiss to my jaw, then sighed deep.
After a few seconds, she said, “We really should get a little more sleep if we can. Need my beauty rest.”
I chuckled. She didn’t need a damn thing, but I knew she was nervous—and being tired would only make that worse.
Plus we’d already shared some dirty ideas of what our little getaway could entail. I fully intended on waking her up the way she told me I had in one of her dreams . . .
We had time. “Sleep well, baby. I’ll wake you up in about an hour.”
When I felt her breathing even, I looked down, seeing she had already fallen back asleep.
The first half of the ride passed by easily.
We had just stopped for gas, and I was having a cigarette over in the designated area while I waited for Paige to get out of the bathroom.
She pushed through the door a moment later, and her chin immediately turned over in my direction. Smiling, she started to walk over toward me.
My eyebrow cocked, catching two guys just behind her—checking her out—as they walked in the door she just came out of, and a smirk pinched my cheek.
Her steps slowed as she got closer, twisting her chin back behind her before she looked back at me again. A silent, “What?”
I shrugged as I took my last drag, then smashed it out, and tossed it in the dispenser. “Seems like I’m not the only one who likes watching you.”
She looked back at the door again, breathing a laugh and shaking her head as she glanced back at me.
The honey-colored strands of hair swept below her shoulders, over her black spaghetti-strapped tank top, and I pulled her into me, pressing a soft kiss to her lips as my hand slid into the back pocket of her jean shorts. “They can look all they want, but . . .”
“I’m yours,” she said, rubbing her nose with mine.
I stifled the grunt that tried to break free by kissing her again, and murmured against her lips, “Fuck me, I can’t wait till we wrap today.”
She giggled, as she anchored a hand through my hair. “We haven’t even started.”
Just as an impatient growl pushed past my lips, Jeremy suddenly said, “Hey, guys, sorry to interrupt, but we should get back on the road.”
Paige and I detached from each other. I didn’t even see where he came from, but I saw now that he was carrying a tray of coffees.
“I’ve stopped here before on my way to Riverside,” he explained. “The guys who run the coffee cart inside are from Cuba and the shit is delicious.”
“Oh, hell yeah,” Paige said, graciously taking one. “Thank you so much, Mr. Harris. You’re likely saving someone’s life by giving me caffeine.”
I laughed, taking one of the other cups. “And that person is likely me—so, thanks.” I lifted the cup appreciatively.
Jeremy chuckled, “Happy to help,” and we all headed back to the car.
Twenty minutes after we’d gotten back on the road, I turned back to look at Paige, smiling when I saw her staring out the window.
Despite finishing her coffee in about three gulps, she still looked like she could fall asleep at any minute. In her tiredness, her eyes had taken on a darker denim color, but her lips tilted up her cheek when she met my gaze.
I mouthed, “Love you,” and she did too before I turned forward again. My throat worked to swallow before I asked Jeremy, “How much longer till we get there?” But an abrupt bout of heaviness suddenly swayed my head.
What the fuck?
Whoa. I was hit with a sudden, intense bout of exhaustion. Fucking drowsy . Blinking, my eyebrows pinched.
Am I about to pass out?
I shifted my eyes to look at Jeremy, gripping the side of the door as I saw him glance at the sign we were passing. “We’re about forty-five minutes away . . .” he said something else, but it started to sound tunneled. “ . . . some sleep if you need to . . .”
I could barely nod my response before my head leaned back into the seat.
Still, my brows furrowed. We’d just had coffee. Why was I so tired if we just had . . .
I couldn’t finish the thought before I fell asleep.
.