Chapter 7 #2
I narrowed my eyes at the back of her head. “And you somehow think that makes it better?” I whispered in disbelief.
“No,” she cried, spinning on her heel to face me again.
“I can’t take any of this back, Drew. I know that.
You know that. Would I do things differently if I could?
Hell yes, I would, but I can’t. I can’t change any of this.
All I can do is tell you that I regret not telling you the truth when I should have.
I’m sorry I didn’t tell you after Sutton found out. I’m sorry I haven’t told you since.”
“You know what hurts the most?” I began, speaking quietly.
“Knowing you were so scared that you went out and bought a gun. Knowing that, while I’ve been wrapped around you night and day, trying to make you feel safe, none of it has been enough.
Knowing you got more from that piece of metal than everything I’d poured into you, into us.
” I exhaled slowly. “I don’t want to hear your apologies, Ayda.
I just want to know where the fuck I went wrong. ”
“You haven’t gone wrong,” she said, easing closer to me.
“Weren’t you listening? Or maybe I didn’t make it clear enough.
I always feel safe with you, Drew. I always know you’re going to stand in front of me when trouble comes at us head on.
I always know that when I’m scared I can look at you and know things will be fine…
for me. It’s you I worry about. I want you to know that if trouble comes at us, I will be able to stand next to you and fight to keep you breathing.
I want to defend myself to make sure you have every ounce of your focus where it needs to be.
I know it sounds stupid. I know it’s not an excuse for lying, but that’s why I bought a gun, and why I wanted to learn how to use it. ”
She reached out, her fingers inches from my abs, silently begging to touch me.
I stared at her hand, twitching my jaw to stay in control.
“If that’s true, that’s the exact reason you should have come to me from the start.
” I tilted my head, looking straight into the blue of her eyes as sweat dripped from my brow.
“If you wanted to be strong, you only had to say the word and I would have made you strong. If you’re going to be stupid enough to stand beside me in any battle we go into ever again, you had better hope you’ve been trained by the best. And that ain’t Sutton, Ayda.
” I moved closer until my chest was pushing against her hand and my body was towering over hers.
“I’m the best. I fight better than anyone.
I shoot better than anyone. I train better than anyone.
I protect what’s mine better than anyone, and you are fucking mine.
Do you understand that?” I breathed down on her, closer than I’d been since she walked into the room, my eyes penetrating her baby blues.
“You’re mine. My responsibility. Mine to protect. Mine to save.”
The fire that raged in her eyes wasn’t anger. With every mine I spoke they flared hotter and burned brighter. Her hand trembled against my skin, and her chest rose and fell with tight breaths. “Will you teach me, Drew?”
“Will you ever lie to me again?”
With her gaze still locked onto mine, Ayda held us both in place, her lips closing as she swallowed deeply. “No. I won’t. I don’t want to.”
I carefully stroked her cheek just to feel her again. My eyes searched hers frantically as I swallowed down the anger and tried to let the love I had for this woman take over.
“One day you’ll realize that as long as I have breath in my lungs, I’m always going to put you first. Whatever visions you’ve got in your head of being the warrior princess who saves the wounded alpha, forget it.
I’ll protect you always. But I will make you stronger—if that’s what you want.
I will help you feel safer… just in case you need it.
” A small smirk tugged at my lips. “Which you won’t. ”
Ayda’s eyes broke contact for only a moment as she dropped her gaze to my lips.
“Better to be prepared and never need it,” she whispered as she glanced up again.
“Plus, it’s a good excuse to get sweaty with one another.
Especially if you teach me how to beat the crap out of that thing.
” She tipped her head in the direction of the bag, and let a small smile show beside the earnest request.
“Steady, Rocky, I have some conditions first.”
“And they are?”
“Well, first of all, it’s as fundamental as fuck that you forget everything Sutton has taught you. And I mean everything.”
She rolled her eyes into the back of her head for a moment, nibbled her bottom lip and then turned those blazing blue eyes back on me. “Done. You know how he drones on and on. You end up tuning him out half the time anyway.”
“That’s the cowboy in him. Makes him shoot straight and walk with a swagger, but that’s all the man has.
” I brought my thumb and index finger to her chin, gripping it gently.
“Secondly, we focus on your strength before we pick up a gun. If you want to survive you have to rely on the tools you were born with over anything else. Understood?”
She nodded and dropped her gaze for a moment. It only took a second, but her eyes finally rose to meet mine again. “Then in full disclosure, I should probably mention a couple of things that happened today because carrying that gun made them a little easier to face.”
“What things?”
“After you left the diner, I got a really creepy feeling of being watched. I couldn’t see anyone there, but I could feel them staring at me like they were measuring me up for something.
” She raised both her hands and put them on my shoulders.
“If I could have seen anyone it would have made me feel better about it, but there was nothing. Then, when I was walking home from work…” She swallowed.
“My ex from high school showed up and followed me for a bit. I shot him down, but he was persistent. Deeks showed up as I was getting annoyed, and Jacob assumed Deeks was the boyfriend I’d told him about.
I let him assume. He doesn’t need to know anything about my life. ”
“When you say he was persistent…”
“He kept making lewd suggestive comments and tried to persuade me into allowing him to give me a ride home. I said no. Repeatedly.”
I narrowed my eyes as I studied her. Ayda looked nervous. Whether that was because she was scared of my reaction, or whether it was this ex who had shaken her up, I wasn’t entirely sure.
“I’ll take care of him. He won’t come near you again,” I told her as calmly as I could.
And I would. I needed someone to pour this anger out on.
Someone who would fight back. The bag just wasn’t enough.
“And as for the weird feeling you got, I’ll have the men ride out.
Check the area and the town borders. Make sure no Emps or Navs are circling.
Better for us to be safe since we destroyed an entire MC just months ago. ”
“Do what you have to. I trust you.” Ayda smiled up at me. “I just hope it wasn’t my overactive imagination that made me feel like I was being watched. I just couldn’t shake it. Even when I was walking home, it was there.”
“You? An overactive imagination?” I raised a brow. “Imagine that.”
It was her turn to smirk at me. “I would ask you what that’s supposed to mean, but I think I know.” She bit her bottom lip again and pressed up to her toes, her arms moving so she could wrap them around my neck. “Are we okay?”
My arms circled her waist, and I pulled my chin back so I could look down and see all of her. “We will be,” I whispered. “Just let my wounded ego stop crying in a corner, and shit will be back to normal in no time.”
“Can I kiss it better, maybe coax it out by stroking it a little?” she teased.
“Stroking always helps.” I dug my fingers under her ass cheeks, sucking in a breath before I hoisted her up into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist until she was the one looking down on me. “Kissing. Licking…” I began to walk us around the room slowly. “Sweating. Fucking.”
“How about sucking?” she whispered, her smile turning seductive.
“Sounds like the perfect apology.”
“Shame I get the better end of the deal.” She leaned down slowly, her lips brushing mine. “I love you, Drew Tucker.”
“I love you, too, darlin’. I really fucking do.”