16. Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Sixteen
Demetric
T aking Daizha to see her mama had me thinking heavily about mine. I know I said I had nothing for her ass, but knowing she was sick had me in my feelings. What if something happened to her, and I still had this hatred in my heart? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something like that happened. So, I made up in my mind that I was going to go holla at her once I left my meeting with this nigga, Goon. When I pulled up to the restaurant, Kev was already sitting in his car waiting for me. He got out when he saw me, and we headed inside together.
“Did he say what this shit was about?” he asked.
“Nah. Whatever it is, I hope it doesn’t take all day because I got shit to do,” I voiced.
Once inside, the hostess led us back to the same office we met him in before. He was sitting there with the same nigga, who I learned was his cousin Blaze.
“Wassup, youngins?” he greeted, and I nodded before taking my seat. “I’m gonna make this quick because I got some other shit to do. I just wanted to inform you that I see you lil’ niggas out there working. Shit makes me feel like a proud father and shit. You know them Italian muthafuckas hit me up on the shit you pulled?” He stared at me stone-faced like that shit was supposed to scare me or something.
“What the fuck they callin’ you for? You ain’t my fuckin’ daddy?” I snarled.
“You damn right I ain’t yo’ daddy. I’d break yo’ fuckin’ face if I were for thinkin’ you could talk to me like that. Zeus being too soft on yo’ ass,” he smirked. “Yeah, nigga. I know Zeus ya pops, but we’re not here to talk about ya family tree and shit. I liked how you handled ya self with that situation. I was tired of dealing wit’ them niggas and I sent them to you. I knew they were gon’ try you and I’m proud to say I like you handled that shit. What you do with that extra money?”
“I’on need yo’ approval and I gave the shit to my girl.” This nigga thought just because his name was Goon, I would be scared of his big ass.
“I knew it was a reason I liked you. You remind me a lot of myself when I was younger. Check it, though. Watch ya fuckin’ mouth ’fore I crush ya fuckin’ windpipe. Secondly, I like you lil’ niggas, so I’m gonna be sending more muthafuckas y’all way. My wife whining about a nigga not being home much, so if you can handle the shit, then I’ll get shit in motion.” When he finished, I couldn’t believe what he was saying.
“Hell yeah, we can handle it. You know how to reach me when it’s time.” I got up to leave, and he stopped me.
“Damn, nigga. You ain’t gon’ thank a nigga?” he snarled.
“For what? I ain’t call you. You’re asking me to take a load off of yo’ shoulders so you’on get in trouble wit’ ya wife and shit. The fuck I’ma thank you for that for?” I cocked my head to the side, waiting for him to respond.
“This lil’ nigga got heart,” his cousin mentioned.
“I’on need no hype man,” I snapped.
“Yeah, I picked the right muthafucka. Get yo’ ass from outta here before I change my mind.” I smirked and left out of the office with Kev in tow. As soon as we got outside, he started his bullshit.
“Aye, next time I’m staying my black ass home. You always going in there acting like you got a death wish,” he complained.
“Man, shut yo’ bitch ass up. The fuck you come for if you gon’ complain every damn time. You scared of that nigga or something?”
“I ain’t scared of shit, but the fuck I look like volunteering to die for?” He looked at me with that dumb ass look on his face.
“Whatever, scary ass nigga. I’m up. I got shit to do.”
“Aight. Hit me up later.” We slapped hands, and I got in my car and headed to my next destination. I called Daizha first, though.
“Hello?” she answered.
“Wassup, baby girl? What you doing?” I asked.
“Sitting here with Jaylen. How did your meeting go?”
“It went.” I didn’t talk to her too much about what I had going on, but she wasn’t in the dark.
“That’s good. You’re on your way to see Juanita?” she asked.
Huffing, I answered. “Yeah.”
“Okay. Remember, you wanted to do this so don’t be too hard on her, okay?”
“I hear you, baby. I’ll there a lil’ later, aight?”
“Okay. Be careful.”
“Always.”
I rode the distance to the facility that Juanita told me that she was staying in. It wasn’t far from where I was, so it took me no time to get there. When I got there, I sat in the car for a few minutes before I got myself together. Once inside, I headed straight for the receptionist area and asked for Juanita Cole. After waiting for about ten minutes, I was called back, and I met Juanita in what I assumed was a common area. When she saw me, her face lit up.
“Hey, Mee…Demetric. This is a surprise,” she greeted.
“Yeah, I know. How you been?” I asked.
“I’m okay. A lil’ weak, but I’ll be fine.” I’d be lying if I said that her telling me she was weak didn’t bother me, because it did.
“You been eating?”
“When I can. I can’t keep much down most days. Enough about that, though. How have you been?”
“I’ve been straight. Adjusting to this relationship shit,” I answered honestly.
“You make it seem like it was your first one?”
“Technically, it is. I had women, but I never claimed any of them.”
“Why is that?”
“Because of you. I didn’t want to get attached to anybody and then they up and left me. I wasn’t equipped to handle that shit a second time.” She looked at me with eyes full of regret. I know I said I would work on forgiving her, but the shit was hard.
“I’m sorry about that, Demetric. I really am. I knew I couldn’t continue to subject you to that lifestyle, so when they came, I let you go. I felt like you were better off. Once I told the worker to look up your father, it was like the Universe wanted you to have a family like I knew you always wanted. I don’t want you giving Zeus a hard time because he really didn’t know about you. I only messed around with him a few times. He was actually the only guy I messed with for months. That’s why when I got pregnant, and they told me how far along I was, I knew it was his.”
“Did you try to get in contact with him so you could tell him?”
“No. I left well enough be enough. We were both young, but I did what I had to do to provide for you. I did my best. You never went without and always had the best that I could afford.”
“You know I used to wish my mama was a crackhead instead of a hoe? I really thought a crackhead would be less embarrassing than seeing my classmates’ daddies come in and out of our house. That was some fucked up shit to experience, but you know what? I’d rather that than being shipped off to a group home. For three years I waited for you to come back for me, but you never did. That shit fucked me up.”
“I never took relationships serious. I gave Zeus and Isabella hell for the first three years there, until Zeus put me on my ass. I guess that was around the time he learned he was my pops. You know I dated older women so I could try to fill that void that you left?” She didn’t say anything.
“The last woman I was with was thirty-three. She was childish as fuck, but I kept her around.”
“You and Daizha look around the same age. How did you get with her?” she asked.
I laughed at the thought and said, “she literally ran into me. She was crying about her nigga, and I felt compelled to help her. Shit was strictly platonic for a while. Somewhere down the line, it got deeper and neither one of us fought it. We bonded over the shit that happened to us in our childhood. We understood each other, so I felt right.” I shrugged.
“What happened to her?” she asked.
“That’s not my story to tell. Maybe she’ll be willing to share that with you.” She nodded.
“Did you have more kids?” I asked.
“No. I can’t have any more children. That was one of the reasons I wanted to reach out to you. When I die, I didn’t want to be turned over to the state and disposed of. I wanted family to have my ashes. I didn’t want you to continue living your days wondering where I was. Whether I was dead or alive. Meechie, before I leave here, I need for you to forgive me. Even if you don’t mean it, I need to hear you say that you forgive me. I don’t want to leave this side and my only child hates me. I don’t think I’d be able to deal with that.” I looked at her while I was processing what she was saying. She was right. I needed to forgive her. I just gave Daizha this same speech, so I’d be a hypocrite not to take my own advice.
“Ma, I forgive you. The shit really fucked me up, but you did send me to my pops, so I can give you credit for that. That turned out to be one of the best things to happen to me. He never treated me like a foster kid from the moment I stepped foot into their home. Isabella didn’t either. I may not have any biological siblings, but me and Jaylen are real close. I’d go to war with the whole world about her. I can say thank you, because you didn’t deal me a fucked hand. I just wish you would’ve been there, but I can’t do shit to change that.” She nodded as she wiped the tears away from her eyes after listening to me. I meant what I said. I had to forgive her in order to move on and get my life in order. I wanted to make sure however long she had left here was worth coming back into my life. I want her to enjoy it, and I want to be able to experience it with her.
“Thank you, baby. That’s all I needed to hear.”
It felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. This was long overdue. It may have seemed too late, but I was still grateful to have a chance to reconcile. I stayed and talked to her for another hour or so before I left. She walked me to the car and once we got outside; she turned to me and asked for a hug. That shit had me feeling like that ten-year-old lil’ boy all over again. Ma Izzy did a damn good job at filling the void, but it just wasn’t the same.
“I love you, baby,” she said.
“I love you too, Ma,” I croaked out. Shit felt foreign to call her mama let alone tell her I loved her.
I waited until she was back inside before I pulled off. I looked at the clock to check the time. I still had time to catch Zeus at the shop, so I wouldn’t have to go all the way to their house. Pulling up to the shop through the back, I noticed the trucks being packed up. When I went inside, I found him and Ced in his office.
“Wassup, Meech?” Ced greeted me.
“Ain’t shit. Wassup, Pops? You got a minute?” I asked, taking a seat by Ced.
“Y’all need me to leave?” he asked.
“Nah. You straight. I ain’t discussing no top secret shit.”
“Wassup, son?” Zeus asked.
“I went to see Juanita,” I disclosed.
“And how did that go?”
I shrugged. “It went. We talked. I asked questions, and she gave me answers. I told her I forgave her for the shit since she made sure I was wit’ you and shit. She told me the real reason she came back, too.”
“And why was that?”
“So, I could identify her body so she wouldn’t have to go to the state. At first, I wanted to curse her out because she was asking me to do the opposite of what she did for me. But the lil’ boy in me that wanted his mama couldn’t let her go out like that. I mean, I forgave yo’ lying ass. I might as well give her a shot, right?” I saw in his face that he didn’t like that I called him a liar, but shit, it was the truth.
“I’m gon’ let that shit slide, because I know you’re trying to filter through your emotions. I will say this, though. I’m proud of you. I know that may have been hard for you to do, so tell me what changed your mind?”
“Daizha. She reconciled with her people, so I figured I could do the same.” He nodded.
“Well, I’m proud of you, son. You don’t know how much time you have left so enjoy all the time you have left with her.” I nodded in agreement.
“I need you to do one favor for me, though.”
“What’s that?”
“You remember what I told you happened to Daizha?” I gave my pops a rundown on Daizha’s past because he wanted to know what attracted me to her and how we formed a bond that fast. I told him and he was just as pissed as me.
“Yeah, I do. What you need?”
“I need you to get rid of that nigga,” I stated.
“Get me a name, and I..”
“Vincent Dixon,” I cut him off.
“I’ll get right on it,” he said.
I stayed and told him about the meeting that I had, and he sat back and smiled and told me how proud of me he was that I was handling business without his help. That shit felt good for him to acknowledge that fact.
“Aight, old heads. I’m out. I’m ready to go lay up wit’ my girl,” I stated.
“Aight, now. Laying up leads to babies,” Ced said.
“And we’re grown, but we ain’t on allat right now. I just like being up under her is all.”
“Tender dick ass nigga,” Zeus joked.
“Yeah, aight. Like you ain’t the same way wit’ Ma Izzy.”
“Izzy knows what’s up. I sling dick and run shit,” he mouthed off.
“So, if I tell her what you said, she’d agree?” I smirked.
“Get yo’ snitching ass out of my damn office. You bet not go runnin’ yo damn mouth either,” he threatened.
“If you scared, say you scared.” I laughed and left him and Ced old asses back there while I went home to my girl. When I got there, she was in the kitchen.
“Damn, you always have it smelling good in here.” I kissed her neck when I got close. “What you cooking?” I asked, trying to get a better look.
“Chicken, shrimp, and sausage alfredo.”
“Hell yeah. It’s almost done?”
“I’m actually finished, so we can eat when you’re ready.”
“Bet. I’ll be right back.” I went to wash my hands and when I came back, she had my food and a glass of milk sitting on the table across from her.
“So, how did things go with Juanita?” she asked after we blessed the food.
“It went better than expected. I didn’t get mad, and I let her talk like you said. She broke everything down to me and even told me why she came back.”
“Why did she?” she asked.
“So I could bury her.”
“Oh, wow. I hate that was the reason, but it’s better than nothing, right?”
“That’s what I said. Shit crazy though, because I don’t know what day is going to be her last. She looked weak as hell today, but I promised her that I would spend as much time as I could with her.”
“That was sweet of you. I’m proud of you,” she smiled.
“Oh, yeah?” she nodded. “So a nigga gets a reward, then?” I smirked, and she returned the gesture. I was finally seeing life differently and had a reason to be genuinely happy, and I wouldn’t change shit about it.