WITSEC

Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

What I wouldn’t give for a cigarette. That thought kept tumbling in my mind. I still had a carton left in the bottom drawer of my dresser. The temptation to go get it made my skin tingle, but I kept my butt planted in my chair at my kitchen island as I drank my third cup of coffee.

I was so wrapped up in battling back that temptation that I didn’t know someone was in my house until I felt them touch my shoulder.

“Shiloh.”

My soul tried to leave my body as I jumped out of my chair. Half of my coffee sloshed over the rim of my mug and splashed onto the counter. I faced who was behind me, finding Knox. I put a hand to my chest. “Cheese and rice, Knox.”

“I knocked on the front door and called out to you when I came in,” he said.

I chastised myself for being so spaced out as I grabbed a tea towel to clean up the spilled coffee. “What’s up?”

“I need to pick up the food for the party. Come with me.” It wasn’t a request.

I gaped at him. “You haven’t picked up the food yet? The party starts in a few hours.”

“I’ve been busy.”

I left the kitchen with my mouth pinched shut. I would not judge his wait ‘til the last possible minute party-planning style. Nope. I shoved my feet into some sandals and grabbed my purse.

We drove to the grocery store in Knox’s Camaro and almost the entire ride was silent. Almost.

“We need to talk about this morning,” he said out of the blue.

“I’m sorry you saw my vagina, Knox,” I snapped, feeling mortified. “I would appreciate it if it was never brought up again.”

He kept his eyes fixed on the road. “I wasn’t talking about that.”

“Oh.”

He pulled into the store’s lot and found a parking space toward the front. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

I watched him shift the car into park but not turn off the engine. “We’re not here for food, are we?” I asked.

“We just need ice, but you would have suspected something was up if I asked you to go get ice with me.”

I clasped my hands together tightly in my lap. It was a subtle way I could react without letting him know I was upset. “And you say I’m a pain in the butt.”

“You’re avoiding answering.”

“I have been sleeping,” I said nonchalantly, hoping he’d feel like he was making this a bigger thing than it was.

He frowned at me. “When was the last time you got a full night’s rest?”

“I’ve had a rough couple of nights.”

“You haven’t slept since what happened with Jacob?”

I shrugged.

“You haven’t really talked about what happened.”

I laughed dryly as I stared out the window. “I haven’t talked about Jacob because there isn’t anything to discuss. I am disturbingly unfazed by what he tried to do to me.” My tone had turned bitter and there was no hiding my irritation. “I was terrified at the time. But there are different levels of terror. Ones that will leave scars on your soul forever and completely break your sanity. As you try to move on, you’ll find yourself in a constant state of hating the idea of tomorrow, yet hoping you’re strong enough to see it.” I let out a sigh and leaned my head back against the headrest. “With that said, it’s completely normal to have difficulty sleeping. You’re making this a bigger deal than it is. I’m sure I’m going to sleep like a baby tonight.”

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself of that?”

I unbuckled my seat belt and climbed out of the car. “Let’s get the ice so we can get back.” I did my best not to slam the car door.

Knox turned off the car and followed after me. “I think you need to consider talking to?—”

I stopped in my tracks just before entering the store and whirled around to face him. “Just because I’m an orphan and alone, I don’t need you to step in to be a parental figure for me.” I regretted my harsh words the moment they left my mouth, but my need for him to let it go had overridden me.

His expression hardened. “I’ve never seen you as a child.”

“Then why?” I snapped.

“You seriously don’t know the answer to that?”

My shoulders slumped. He was an overbearing, pushy butthead because he cared. “I’m acting like a brat.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “At least you’re self-aware.”

I scowled at him. “Are you aware that you can be a real ass sometimes?”

That got him to smile. “I’m fully aware.”

Fighting to not smile, I shook my head. “Thank you for worrying about me, but I am fine.”

His smile dropped. “You’re not fine, Shiloh.”

That was true. “I’ll be alright, though.”

“Would you tell me or any of us if you weren’t?”

He was asking me to promise something I wasn’t sure I could deliver. “I think you’d know if I wasn’t.” Before he could push the matter, I grabbed his hand and tilted my head toward the store. “Can we please get the ice and get back home? I still have a bunch more decorations to put up and need to finish Keelan’s cake.”

He stared down at my hand. I thought he might pull his from my grasp. When he didn’t, I tugged a little as I took a step toward the entrance. His fingers closed around mine and we went inside.

Music was playing inside and out back. All the decorations were up. Colt and Creed had blown up all the balloons for me. Snacks and drinks had been set out on the dining room table. The bell rang as I was writing Happy Birthday, Keelan with frosting on his two-tier, double-chocolate cake. Creed went to answer it. All of them had been standing around me in the kitchen as I finished the last touches to the cake.

Standing up straight, I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand. “All done.”

Keelan smiled. “It looks amazing.” He and Knox were leaning against the kitchen counter near the sink. Both had beers in their hands.

Colt was sitting at the island, smiling at me. “You got frosting on your forehead.”

Keelan grabbed a napkin and held it out to me.

“I was bound to get chocolate somewhere.” I took the napkin and wiped at my forehead as I walked over to the sink. Turning on the tap, I washed away the chocolate all over my hands. “I’m glad I didn’t get any on my clothes.” I was wearing the new white cover-up dress over my new white bikini.

As I was drying my hands on a tea towel, Knox stepped closer. I froze mid-drying as his hand came up under my chin and he gently swiped his thumb along my jaw. “You got chocolate here, too.”

“Hey,” a feminine voice said.

“Hey, Stephanie,” Keelan said.

Stephanie was the beautiful front receptionist who worked at Desert Stone. She didn’t like me, and I had a feeling it had to do with her feelings for Knox. I scrunched my nose at the thought of her being here. Knox’s brows lifted in question. I schooled my face before I turned.

Stephanie was staring at me, eyes narrowed a little. She looked from me to Knox before returning her attention to Keelan. She plastered a smile on her face and held out a gift bag to him. “This is for you. Happy birthday!”

Keelan took it with a kind smile. “Thank you.” Keelan looked to me. “Is there a place we can put gifts?”

“Yes, there is.” I moved to take the gift from him at the same time Creed returned to the kitchen.

Stephanie looked back and forth between Keelan and me as I took her gift from Keelan’s hands. “Does she live here or something? Why do you need to ask her where to put your gifts in your own home?” She let out a dry laugh like she found it funny.

The tension in the room became thick and all the guys seemed to go still. Even Creed froze before taking a seat on the stool next to Colt at the island.

Keelan’s kind smile dropped. “Shiloh busted her ass to make today extra special for me. It makes her happy for everything to have a place and what makes her happy makes me happy.”

I was as shocked as I was touched by what he said.

“Oh, I didn’t know you two were dating,” Stephanie said.

The tension increased and I took that as my opportunity to leave the room. I didn’t want to hear Keelan correct her. I set her gift on the coffee table in the living room, then went to Colt’s room to get mine. As I walked into his room, the doorbell rang again.

Needing a minute, I sat on Colt’s bed next to my gifts for Keelan. Shame was twisting up my stomach. I should have been the one to correct her about Keelan and me. I hoped Colt and Creed didn’t take me dashing out of there the wrong way. Maybe I was overthinking things because I felt guilty about having feelings for my boyfriends’ older brothers.

“Shi.”

I looked up and saw Keelan standing in the doorway. “Sorry. I was just about to head out,” I said, grabbing his gifts.

“What’s going on?” he asked as he moved into the room and sat next to me on the bed.

“Nothing.” I fiddled with a hair tie I had around my wrist. I needed to pull my hair up. As pretty as it was down, it was too hot, especially if we were going to be outside, hanging by the pool.

He pointed to the gifts I was holding. “Are those for me?”

“No, I bought these for myself,” I teased, making him smile. “I was bringing them out for you to open later.”

“Can I open them now?” he asked.

I held one out to him. “You’re the birthday boy.”

He opened the first one and pulled out two sets of pajamas for men. One set was Superman, and the other was Batman. He let out a genuine laugh as he looked them over. “Now we can match,” he said.

I handed him the second gift and he unwrapped it, revealing a collector’s edition box set of all the seasons of Game of Thrones . He looked it over, reading that it came with bonus scenes. “Our Game of Thrones dates are going to be even better.” He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. “Thank you, baby girl.”

I hugged him back. I made the mistake of breathing his scent in. It was addictive and heady. Keelan pulled away slowly, stopping when our faces were inches apart. He cupped my cheek and his eyes dropped to my lips. Right then, I wanted nothing more than for him to kiss me. I wanted it badly, but I wouldn’t do that to Colt and Creed again.

I pulled away, clearing my throat. “You’re welcome.” Needing to occupy myself, I took my hair tie off my wrist and twisted it around my fingers. “We should return to the party.”

“I’d rather stay in here with you,” he said, making my heart skip a beat.

My hair tie flew out of my hands. “Dang it,” I said, standing from the bed. I searched the floor, not seeing it anywhere. “I’m going to have to run back home and get another one.”

Keelan searched the floor. “Maybe it rolled under the bed or nightstand.”

I got down on my hands and knees. I felt around under the bed and behind Keelan’s feet. When I stuck my hand under the nightstand, my fingers landed on what felt like my hair tie. I scooped it up. “I found it,” I said, holding it up to show Keelan. Staying on my knees, I began to gather my hair on top of my head.

Keelan stood from the bed and smiled down at me. “You missed some,” he said, curling a tiny chunk of hair by my ear around his finger.

The bedroom door opened and Colt walked in, Knox a step behind him. They both froze, staring at us. Colt’s eyes went a little wide and Knox looked pissed.

I finished getting my hair in a messy bun and dropped my hands. “What?”

Colt cleared his throat. “What are you doing kneeling on the floor?”

Before I could answer, Keelan snorted.

“Apparently I need to teach all of you how to lock a fucking door,” Knox snapped.

“You have no room to talk,” Keelan shot back, smirking. “It was only this morning we caught you with Shiloh laid out on the kitchen island.”

“That wasn’t what it looked like,” Knox seethed.

Keelan gestured to me. “And this is?”

“Time out!” I barked. “I don’t understand what is going on.” I looked to Colt for clarification.

He looked like he was trying desperately to keep a straight face. “We walked in and saw you on your knees in front of Keelan.”

“So? I dropped my hair tie and it rolled under your nightstand.”

“You were pulling up your hair and it looked like…” Colt trailed off.

I looked up at Keelan and then it clicked. I sat back on my haunches as heat bloomed in my cheeks.

“There it is.” Keelan grinned down at me.

Wide-eyed, I looked at Colt again. “You thought I was about to go down on Keelan?”

He rubbed the back of his head. “Well…”

“You thought I would cheat on you?” I was crushed. I shouldn’t have been surprised. I had feelings for Keelan, and I’d acted on them once with a kiss. The damage had been done, and I’d lost their trust.

“What?” Colt asked, looking perplexed.

I looked down at the floor. If he and Creed couldn’t trust me, how was our relationship going to work?

“No, babe,” Colt said, taking a step toward me.

“What are you all doing in here?” Creed asked as he appeared in the doorway. “Keelan, did you forget that everyone is here to see you?” Creed’s gaze landed on me and his expression hardened. “What happened?”

“I’m guessing none of you have talked to her yet?” Knox asked, sounding pissed.

Creed’s anger evaporated and Colt looked…guilty?

Keelan shrugged at his older brother. “Don’t look at me. They’ve been hogging all her time.”

I looked around at all of them. “What?”

Knox cursed and moved toward me. “The three of you need to get your shit together,” he snapped as he grabbed me from under my arms and lifted me to my feet. “Come help me cook.” He didn’t leave me much choice. He ushered me from the room. “Don’t cry,” he said as we walked through the house.

I stopped walking in the dining room and spun around to face him. “I’m not going to cry. I just…I fucked up. I kissed Keelan and now they can’t trust me.” I wouldn’t cry for that.

His eyes bounced all over my face. “What would you do if that was the case?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I’d need some time.”

“For?”

“To come up with a game plan to earn their trust back.”

His brows rose.

“Is that what they’ve been meaning to talk to me about? What happened between Keelan and me?” I asked.

“What they want to talk to you about is between you and them.” Knox gestured toward the back door. “I need to get the grill set up.”

Before I could turn to go out back, the doorbell rang. Knox moved to go answer it, but I grabbed him by his shirt. “I’ll answer it.” I walked past him. “I’ll meet you outside,” I shot over my shoulder.

I opened the door to a very good-looking man standing outside. He towered over me with a hand braced on the door frame. He had raven hair and his eyes were covered by dark sunglasses. His bottom lip was pierced and the white T-shirt he wore looked a little snug against his muscled, tattooed arms. The gift he held in his hand looked dainty against his tattooed fingers.

“Hi, are you here for Keelan’s party?” I greeted.

He took off his sunglasses, revealing a familiar shade of aquamarine eyes. “I am. Who are you, gorgeous?”

I felt a body behind me before a grumbly voice said, “Off limits.”

The guy smirked at Knox over my head. “Oh, really?”

“I thought you said you weren’t going to make it,” Knox said.

“I said I’d do my best to make it,” the guy corrected. “We were down a mechanic at the shop, but we finally found someone to hire a few days ago.”

Knox nodded. “The price of being the boss. I’m glad you were able to come. It’s been too long.” He put his hand on my shoulder. “This is Shiloh.”

I held my hand out. “Hi.”

He gave me a charming smile that reminded me of Keelan’s and engulfed my hand with his tattooed one. “Micah. How did a sweet little thing like you end up with this mean bastard?”

“I said she’s off limits. Not that she’s mine,” Knox said.

“Keelan’s?” Micah asked.

“It doesn’t matter who she’s with,” Keelan said, coming up beside me. “She’s off limits, you womanizing fool.”

Knox pulled me back a step and Keelan squeezed by to hug Micah. Micah returned the hug with a big smile and loud pats on Keelan’s back. “Pot meet kettle, cousin,” he said to Keelan. “There have been times you showed me up when it came to picking up women.”

Keelan pulled away. “That’s because I’m prettier than you.”

Cousin? “I thought his eyes looked like Colt and Creed’s,” I blurted out loud.

Micah’s attention flicked to me. “It’s a Stone gene.”

I glanced back at Knox, then forward at Keelan, taking in their golden-brown eyes.

“We have our mother’s eyes,” Keelan said, answering the question I was sure I had written on my face.

I felt Knox tense up behind me. I couldn’t remember a time Knox had ever mentioned their mother. Based on his reaction to Keelan speaking of her… “Well, it was nice meeting you, Micah,” I said quickly. “Gifts go on the coffee table in the living room.” I turned to face Knox. “Let’s go grill some food.”

Knox stepped aside so I could walk ahead of him.

Colt and Creed walked into the living room as we were heading for the backyard. As I was walking by, Creed grabbed my hand and pulled me down the hall.

I glanced back at Knox. He watched us for a second before continuing on toward the backyard without me. “I was going to help Knox,” I said as I let Creed lead me.

“You can help him in a minute,” Creed shot over his shoulder.

The moment we walked back into Colt’s room, Creed spun around and picked me up by the backs of my thighs. My legs locked around his waist and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I faintly heard the sound of the door closing behind me. As he held me, Creed walked toward the door until my back met a chest—Colt’s chest. Colt’s hands went to my hips and Creed took another step forward, pinning me between them. I couldn’t breathe without my rib cage pushing against both of them.

“We need you to listen very carefully, because we’re about to have that talk you wanted,” Creed said, his eyes boring into mine. “You are our girlfriend. You wanted to know how this is done. To be honest, we don’t know.”

“You have to have some idea. Weren’t you in a relationship with the same girl before?” I asked.

They both tensed up. I hoped it was out of surprise and not out of lingering feelings they still had for Emma.

“My money is on Keelan,” Colt said behind me.

“That bastard does love to let shit slip,” Creed grumbled.

“You’ve also mentioned her,” I pointed out.

Colt’s hands moved up to my waist. “We cared for her, but what we have with you is different.”

“How so?” I asked.

“She was selfish and spoiled,” Creed said, his tone curt.

“Creed,” Colt admonished.

Creed looked past me at his brother. “She was and you know it.” Creed’s eyes flicked to mine. “I didn’t see the negatives—how she took and took from us. She never wanted to get to know Keelan and Knox.”

“She hated Knox,” Colt said. “And he hated her.”

“She didn’t understand our bond or what it was like to lose a parent. She was our girlfriend, but she wasn’t what we needed. I didn’t realize that until you showed up,” Creed said.

Colt’s arms wrapped around my stomach and hugged me from behind. “You’re the least selfish person I know, babe. Hell, you fight us when we try to do anything for you.”

“From the very beginning, you included Keelan and Knox,” Creed said. “You not only take Knox’s bullshit head-on and throw it back at him, but you understand why he is the way he is.”

“You slid into our lives like you were always meant to be there,” Colt said.

If they kept saying wonderful things like that, I’d start crying.

Creed leaned his forehead against mine. “So when I say I don’t know how this works…it’s because you’re not just what we need, but what Keelan and Knox need, too.”

I stopped breathing and I forgot how to blink.

“Well, Knox isn’t exactly on board yet,” Colt added.

Creed rolled his eyes. “After catching him this morning with her splayed before him like his personal buffet, it’s very obvious he’s in denial.”

That knocked me out of my shock. I really wished they’d forget that had happened.

Colt sighed. “He thinks he’s being a good brother.”

“He’s being a stubborn ass,” Creed snapped. “But let’s get back to the point we’re trying to make.”

Colt brushed his nose along my ear and whispered, “We know you have feelings for them, too.”

I was about to deny it, but Creed kissed me before I could. He pulled away with a smirk. “You aren’t allowed to be in denial like Knox. We see how you look at them. The only reason I’m not turning into a possessive caveman is because you look at us the same way.”

“This is the talk Knox said you needed to have with me?” I asked.

Creed nodded.

“After you kissed Keelan—” Colt started to say.

“And Knox,” Creed interrupted.

“Knox kissed me,” I corrected.

Colt huffed a laugh. “Regardless of who kissed who, the four of us knew it was time to have a talk about our feelings for you and how that would affect us.”

“So the four of you all discussed sharing me?” I asked. I was a little peeved I hadn’t been included in that particular conversation. What if I didn’t want to be shared between the four of them? Not saying I didn’t. It just would have been nice to be asked.

“When you say it like—” Colt said with a strained voice at the same time Creed bluntly answered, “Yes.”

I appreciated the bluntness for this particular conversation, which was causing my head to spin a little. It had taken me a while to wrap my brain around dating Colt and Creed, but also pursuing relationships with Keelan and possibly Knox? “That’s the talk you had when Jacob attacked me?”

Colt’s arms tightened around me. “I shouldn’t have asked you to leave. You told me about him, and I should have made sure you got to your car safely.”

I threw an arm back and around Colt’s neck. I tilted to the side a little so I could see him. “Don’t do that. You had no way of knowing what was going to happen.” I pulled on him a little, wanting him to kiss me.

He saw what I wanted and pressed his lips to mine. He moved one of his hands under my chin, holding me in place as he stroked his tongue past my lips. Every time they kissed me, it set my blood on fire and that heat always rushed between my legs. Forgetting that my legs were wrapped around Creed’s waist, I tried to squeeze them shut.

Creed’s hands moved to my butt under my dress. “Not that I’m complaining about where this might head, but it is Keelan’s birthday and we’re not done talking,” he said, sounding amused.

I pulled away from Colt, a little breathless, and faced forward.

Creed took in my flushed appearance and swollen lips with a torn look.

Colt cleared his throat. “Do you understand what we’ve told you, babe?”

“You’re telling me it's alright for me to date Keelan and Knox as well.” I was relieved that I hadn’t screwed things up between us and ruined their trust after I’d kissed Keelan. I unhooked my legs from around Creed. He set me down on my feet and I stepped out from between them. “I’m going to need time to process everything.”