WITSEC

Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Dr. Bolton squeezed me in the next day via teleconference. I was grateful because I hadn’t slept a wink last night.

“Hello, Shiloh,” she said as she appeared on my computer. She was an elderly woman who reminded me of the actress Helen Mirren. Her hair was snow white and pulled back into an elegant French twist. She wore square-framed glasses that gave her an intelligent look to match her intelligent brain. Dr. Bolton had helped many victims of violent traumas over the decades. “How have you been since we last spoke?” she asked.

“I’m not okay,” I answered honestly, and caught her up on everything that had happened in my life since I’d hung up on her. My new house, my new school, the guys. I didn’t tell her about our relationship. I figured that was a topic for another day. I saved the issue of my nightmares for last. She jotted down notes on a legal pad as she listened.

“I’m going to prescribe you something to take before bed,” she said when we were coming up on the hour mark.

“As appealing as it sounds to be a zombie, I don’t want to be numbed out,” I said.

She jotted that down, too. “It won't do that. It’s to calm you so you can sleep and hopefully keep you asleep all night,” she explained. Then she looked me in the eye through the screen. “This medication isn’t a solution. It’s an aid, and a temporary one.”

I understood what she was getting at and nodded.

“I’m going to be frank with you,” she warned. “Healing is not easy. You’ll have to talk about things I know you don’t want to. Do you understand what I’m saying, Shiloh?”

“I’ll have to talk about that night.”

“Yes, but we’ll take it slow,” she said. “I would like to see you again tomorrow.”

I picked up the medication Dr. Bolton had prescribed me from the pharmacy after our session ended. I was nervous to take it. I fiddled with the bottle, listening to the sound of the pills sliding around inside, as I debated. Even though I was pretty sure the text messages I’d received were from Cassy and her friends, I was still scared. If I took this drug, would it put me in such a deep sleep I wouldn’t hear if someone broke in?

I debated whether or not I should get out of my comfortable bed and spend another night in the panic room on the floor. My sore back and tired body protested.

I grabbed my phone off my nightstand and pulled up Colt’s contact. Before I could talk myself out of it, I hit call and put the phone to my ear.

He answered after two rings. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“It’s late. Are you okay?” he asked.

I winced. It was close to midnight and he still had school tomorrow. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called.”

“No, no. It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep,” he assured me. “Talk to me.”

“I started therapy today.”

“How did it go?”

“She prescribed me something to sleep, but I’m nervous to take it,” I admitted.

“Why?”

I had to think before answering. “I don’t know how it’s going to affect me.”

“Want me to come over?” he asked.

“I want you to, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea. I’m still upset.”

“You can still be upset with me while I hold you,” he said.

I squeezed the pill bottle in my hand. “Okay.”

“I’ll be right there,” he said, and we hung up.

I climbed out of bed to disarm the alarm and unlock the door so he wouldn’t have to. By the time I was twisting the deadbolt, he was on the other side of the door. I opened it and gestured for him to come in. After I locked up and rearmed the alarm, he took my hand and led me back to the bedroom. He watched me take the medicine Dr. Bolton had prescribed and we got comfortable in the bed, facing each other.

“Your voice matters,” he said. “I’m sorry we didn’t talk to you.”

“Do you not feel comfortable being intimate with me because I’m a mess?” I asked.

“I don’t think you’re a mess and I have never thought that. As for sex, I’m ready to take that step when you are. I—we just didn’t want you to feel pressured to take that step with us on top of everything you’re dealing with.”

“I love that you tried to put my well-being first. I really do. I can’t even describe how wonderful it is to have that, but that doesn’t mean you get to decide what you think is best for me and expect me to be alright with it without talking to me first.”

He nodded.

“As for our relationship, don’t ever leave me out of those conversations again.”

“It won’t happen again,” he said and tucked my hair behind my ear. “You already sound and look so much better.”

“I feel a little bit better. I’m hoping I’ll feel a lot better when I wake up tomorrow,” I said, snuggling into my pillow.

He scooted closer. “Can I kiss you goodnight?”

I smiled a little. “Yes.”

Closing the space between us, he gave me a sweet and quick kiss. “Goodnight,” he whispered.

“Goodnight,” I whispered back.

I woke up the next morning and smiled. I hadn’t dreamt and I felt fully rested. Overjoyed, I rolled over and climbed on top of Colt. He let out a groan. “Wake up,” I said and peppered his face with kisses.

He caught me by the back of my neck to hold me in place. His lips captured mine before he flipped us. The back of my head hit the pillow and he held himself over me. Breaking our kiss, he said, “That was a good way to wake up.”

I beamed up at him. “I didn’t have a nightmare and I slept all night.”

“That’s great, babe.” Smiling down at me, he pushed a strand of hair away from my face. “I love it when you smile.”

I reached up and grabbed the back of his neck. “Do you want to give me another reason to smile?”

His brows rose. “What?”

“Kiss me,” I said, pulling him close.

He leaned the rest of the way and the moment our lips touched, a consuming heat took over. Our tongues danced and he groaned as I nipped at his bottom lip. I ran my fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp as his mouth traveled to my neck. His tongue slid over that sweet spot under my ear and my thighs squeezed around his hips, which caused his pelvis to get closer to mine. I could feel that he was hard. I smoothed my hand down his bare chest and cupped him through his shorts.

He hissed. “Babe, if you touch me there, I can’t guarantee I’ll be good.”

“I don’t want you to be good,” I said and swallowed nervously. “I—I want you.”

He lifted his head from my neck and stared down at me, eyes searching mine. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I said with confidence and pointed to my nightstand. “I have condoms in there.”

He looked surprised.

My cheeks became hot. “I’ve been ready to take this step with you for a while.” I might have been a virgin, but I knew the risks with sex and I wanted to be safe. Making an appointment to get on birth control was on my list of things to do today.

Colt reached into my nightstand and grabbed a condom. He tossed it on the bed next to us and sat back on his haunches. He flicked his fingers toward him. “Come here.” I sat up and he grabbed the bottom of my shirt. “Arms up,” he ordered and I did as told. He carefully lifted my shirt up and over my head. He tossed it aside as his gaze dropped to my breasts and an intense desire filled his eyes.

Feeling shy, I had the urge to cover up, but I resisted. With a pounding heart, I let him look.

He hooked his fingers into the bands of my sleep shorts and underwear. “Lift your hips, babe.”

I arched back on my hands and lifted my hips for him to remove the last of my clothes. Just like he’d done with my shirt, he tossed my shorts and underwear. His eyes bounced all over me, as if he didn’t know where he wanted to look more. The wait to see what he would do next was a delicious torture.

He scooted back a bit and pushed my legs open slowly. When he dipped between them, my heart tried to leap out of my chest. He kissed me a few inches up from where I really, really wanted him to kiss me. He moved a tiny bit lower, then a little bit lower again, drawing out my torture. When his warm mouth covered my clit, I fell back against the pillows, sighing. I felt his mouth form a smile before his tongue lapped over me, making my toes curl.

He chuckled. “Do you like that?”

“Yes.”

“How about this?” he asked as he sucked me into his mouth.

My thighs squeezed around him as I groaned. There weren’t any more questions after that. His tongue circled and flicked over me to the point of madness. I had my fingers fisted in his hair, holding him to me. When he eased two fingers into my soaking core, I was on the brink of coming.

“Colt,” I moaned, needing him to get me there, and he didn’t disappoint. He curled his fingers inside me as he pumped them in and out and didn’t let up on my clit. I couldn’t focus on any one thing he was doing, only how it all made me feel. The orgasm hit me and my back arched as I cried out.

Colt wiped his mouth on my inner thigh and sat up. Staring down at me, he smirked. “You okay?”

Panting, I nodded. My poor heart, which was already racing, sped into overdrive as he scooped up the condom. He pushed down his shorts and boxers and his thick shaft sprang free and stood at attention. Then he tore the foil wrapper open and rolled the condom on.

His eyes met mine as he crawled on top of me. “Are you ready?”

I nodded.

He reached between us and aligned himself with my entrance. I inhaled sharply as he pushed inside me. There was a tightness and stretching that was uncomfortable. That was expected and I knew it would pass. Once he was all the way in, I exhaled.

He kissed me. “Are you alright?”

I kissed him back. “Yes.”

He withdrew a little and pushed back in, doing light and shallow thrusts that allowed me to relax around him and begin to enjoy what was happening. He must have felt the change, because he withdrew further and drove back into me quicker.

I smiled.

“Why are you smiling?” he asked.

“Now I see what all the fuss is about,” I said, gripping his shoulders.

He smirked down at me. “We’re just getting started.”

He moved into me faster, coaxing from me moans and pleas for more and more.

“I think you mean harder, babe.”

“Harder?”

“This,” he said, thrusting into me.

It felt so good, I squeezed my eyes shut to savor the feeling. “Yup. That. Harder, please.”

He did as I asked. “You’re going to be sore later.”

“I don’t care,” I cried, feeling myself getting close. “Don’t stop.”

“If you don’t want me to stop, you better open those pretty eyes.”

I forced them open with a scrunched brow. “I’m going to cum,” I panted.

He leaned down, smiling. “I know you are,” he said and kissed me. It took a few more thrusts and his tongue stroking mine to ignite my orgasm. Colt swallowed my screams and groaned against my mouth as I dragged my nails down his back. He didn’t stop driving into me as I fell apart into a million pieces under him. Instead, he picked up his speed until he slammed into me one last time with a grunt, finding his own release.

I rubbed my hands up and down his back as we caught our breath. “Did I hurt you?” I asked him.

He huffed a laugh. “I’m supposed to ask you that.”

“I’m fine.”

“Just fine?”

I smiled. “Would you like me to rate this experience?”

He shook his head with the biggest smile. “Always the ballbuster.”

My smile didn’t waver as I stared up into his eyes. “It was perfect.”

He pressed his lips to mine and kissed me passionately. We stayed like that for a while, kissing, touching, and enjoying being as close as we possibly could be to each other. It was the connection I had wanted and what I felt in that moment was better than I could have imagined, because it was love. I was in love with him.

Colt slowly pulled out of me and climbed off the bed. Just before he disappeared into my bathroom, I got a glimpse of his back. I grimaced. He had red claw marks from his shoulders down to the middle of his back.

I sat up and searched for my pajamas. Once I found them, I put them on. When Colt returned from the bathroom, I tossed him his boxers and shorts.

He gave me a tiny grin as he stood there naked and perfect. “Are you kicking me out?”

“No, but you need to get ready for schoo?—”

The sound of the front door unlocking followed by the alarm cut me off.

“Shi!” Creed yelled into the house.

“Get dressed,” I whispered to Colt before dashing out of my room. I could hear the beeping of Creed entering in the alarm code as I rushed down the hall. The alarm was off by the time I stepped into my living room and found Creed, looking as if he had just rolled out of bed.

“Hi,” I said and he looked in my direction.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Did Colt stay here last night?”

As he asked that, Colt walked into the living room and stood beside me.

Creed studied us, looking from Colt to me.

Colt cleared his throat. “I’m going to leave so you two can talk.” He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss before heading for the door. Creed’s eyes followed his twin as he walked out, then looked back at me, frowning. “You forgave him?”

“I did.”

“But not me?”

I folded my arms across my chest. “He and I talked and he apologized.”

“And then you slept together?”

It took a lot of effort not to react. “He spent the night.”

He moved closer, with a predatory look in his eye that made me retreat backward until my back met a wall. He didn’t stop his approach until his body was pressed against mine and his hands were flattened on the wall, caging me. “You look like you’ve been thoroughly fucked, Shi. Your lips are swollen, your cheeks are pink, and your hair is wild, like it got well acquainted with the mattress.”

All I could do was gape at him like a drowning fish for a few heartbeats before recovering. “What if I was?”

His hands fisted on the wall. “I’m jealous.”

“Yeah, well, I’m still mad at you.”

“That’s why I’m jealous,” he snapped.

“You can fix that.”

He pushed off the wall and took a step back. “I would. I’d get on my knees now and beg you to forgive me, but I can’t get over that you ran. You ran instead of talking to us, which was something you were mad at us for not doing.”

“I wasn’t running from you.” My shoulders slumped a little. What I was about to tell him was going to piss him off more than he already was, but I went on to tell him anyway. I told him about the text message and everything that had transpired after.

“Why didn’t you say something?” he snapped. “That was so incredibly stupid, running off on your own like that.”

“First of all, I was mad at all of you, and second, if it had been Mr. X, he would have killed you to get to me. I had to separate myself from you.”

“You should have told us. I don’t care how pissed you were or are.” He shook his head. “I find it hypocritical that you're mad at us for making decisions about you when you turn around and do the same exact thing.”

“You don’t know what he’s capable of,” I seethed. “He’d gut you in front of me and then strangle me with your insides to teach me a lesson. He’s a psychopath who thinks I only belong to him. If he ever found me?—”

“He won’t,” Creed assured me.

“If he did, I’d do whatever I could to save you four from what he did to my family. If that meant running, I’d run. If I had to fight him, I’d fight.”

Creed opened his mouth to argue and I covered it with my hand. “If I had to walk back into the home he murdered my family in—the one place I’m terrified of, because I barely escaped with my life—I’d do it. So long as you were all safe.”

Creed shoved my hand away and wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me to him. He slammed his lips onto mine. In between kisses he said, “I’m so mad at you I could—” His hand smacked my butt, startling me.

“Creed,” I admonished between kisses.

Both of his hands squeezed my butt before he lifted me. I quickly wrapped my legs around his waist and he walked me to the dining room table. He set me down and cupped my face. “I’m sorry,” he said, pulling away. “I fucked up and I promise not to make decisions that involve you without talking to you first, so long as you promise to do the same.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but this time he covered my mouth. “I’d go in that house with you.”

Tears filled my eyes.

“All of us would. Don’t take that decision from us,” he said.

One tear escaped, then two, both rolling down my cheeks.

He removed his hand from my mouth to wipe them away. “If that fucker ever shows up, we run together or we fight together, but more importantly, we protect each other together. Promise me, Shi.”

“I promise.”