WITSEC

Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

“You left your shoes behind,” Knox said as he stared down at me. “Keelan has them.”

I tightened my arms around my legs. “Okay.”

“Why did you decide to hide in here?” he asked me. “Keelan’s office is right across the hall.”

I was sitting behind his desk on the floor. “I’m not hiding.”

“That didn’t answer my question,” he grumbled.

Because I need you , I almost said. I hated that I had three wonderful guys who made me happy, yet I couldn’t stop feeling his absence. “I shouldn’t have come in here,” I said and got to my feet.

He didn’t stop me as I walked by and headed for the door. Chase me , I begged in my head. I made it all the way to the door and stopped walking.

Stop being a coward, Shiloh.

Instead of walking out, I spun around. I met Knox’s eyes. He was standing behind his desk, his hands in his pockets. “You said to me once that you only apologize to people you care about. You never came to me. You didn’t try to make things right with me. Or was avoiding me your way of telling me you didn’t want to?”

He looked away and I felt my heart crack.

“Did the other morning mean anything to you?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said. “It did.”

“Then why? Is it because I refused to sit back and let you dictate what’s best for me?”

“No.”

“Damn it, Knox!” I exploded, moving closer to him, leaving only the desk between us. “Use your fucking words and tell me why you don’t want me!”

Anger etched his features. “I want you. I want you so bad it’s driving me insane!”

I held my arms out at my sides. “Then what’s holding you back?”

He pointed to the door behind me. “Them.”

“What about them?”

“If your relationship with them doesn’t work or if it causes a rift between them, they’re going to need someone who wasn’t involved to bring them back together,” he finally admitted.

There went the rest of my heart. Shattered. I wasn’t worth the risk to him and what was really messed up was that I couldn’t be mad at him for it. He was ensuring his family wasn’t going to fall apart. “Thank you for telling me,” I forced out and numbly walked out the door.

Creed and Keelan were standing in the hall. By their somber expressions, they had overheard. Keelan was holding my shoes.

I held my hand out for them and without a word, Keelan handed them over. “Can someone take me home?” I asked.

Keelan looked at Creed. “You take her home.” He tilted his head slightly toward Knox’s office door. “I need to be here a little longer.”

Creed nodded. The two of them were quiet as I put my shoes on and grabbed my gym bag from Keelan’s office. Once I was all set to leave, Keelan kissed my head goodbye and went into Knox’s office. Creed laced his fingers with mine and the two of us went home.

The next morning, I was getting my school bag packed when there was a knock on my bedroom door. “Come in,” I said.

Logan walked in about a step. “I was wondering if I could ride with you to your school. I have a meeting with your principal and then I have a few errands to run after.”

“Errands?” I said. “And what are you meeting my principal for?”

“I want to speak to him. There’s got to be a better way to keep you safe at school, and I also want to see if he ever looked at their security footage of when your tires were slashed at school.”

“I forgot about that,” I mumbled.

“You had a lot going on,” he said. “I reviewed the footage of when the sheriff attacked you. Unfortunately, he spoke too low for the camera to pick up his threats.”

“Great,” I said caustically.

“But we do have it recorded of him shoving his way into the house. I sent a copy of that footage to Ian and I made a copy for the lawyer I have a meeting with this afternoon.”

“You found a lawyer?”

He nodded. “We need to get ahead of this sheriff and we need to do it quickly, because it won't be long before he comes after you again.”

Fighting back my worry, all I could do was nod.

“Because you refused to talk to me, I spent most of yesterday evening watching the footage from the cameras outside,” he said.

I hung my bag on one shoulder. “I went to bed early.” Which was kind of true. I’d come home and shut myself in my room for the rest of the evening. I gestured to the hall. “We better get going.”

He moved to the side for me to walk ahead of him and I did. “I’d like to start over and properly meet your boyfriends. I was thinking we could all have dinner tonight,” he said as he followed me.

I stopped in my tracks in the center of the living room and turned to face him. “Really?”

“I know they’re important to you. They were here for you when I wasn’t. I would like to make an effort to get to know them.”

It was nice that he was trying to make an effort and I supposed it was his way of trying to make things right. “Alright. I’ll invite them.”

The two of us locked up and headed to my school. Just as I pulled out of the neighborhood, red and blue lights flashed behind me.

“What did I do?” I asked Logan as I pulled over.

“You didn’t do anything,” Logan said as he opened my glove compartment to retrieve my registration. “Just cooperate.”

I was scared, but Logan’s calm demeanor helped me keep it together. I rolled down my window as two cops got out of the squad car. One went to my window and the other went to Logan’s.

“License and registration,” my cop barked.

I held my hand out for my registration, which Logan was still holding. Logan leaned over to look at the cop at my window. “You going to tell her why you pulled her over?”

“Speeding,” the cop lied. I had just pulled out of my neighborhood. I hadn’t had time to get my car up to the speed limit before they’d pulled me over.

“What’d you clock her at?” Logan asked.

“License and registration,” the cop barked again.

I wiggled my fingers at Logan. He had told me to cooperate, but here he was not doing that. Logan gave me the registration, but handed it over with his badge as well. I handed them, along with my ID, to the cop.

“You two with the sheriff’s department?” Logan asked.

“That’s correct,” the cop at my window confirmed with a haughty tone as he opened Logan’s badge bifold. The cop reacted slightly to seeing it, then looked at his fellow cop through my car.

Logan pulled his phone out of his pocket. “If you continue on with this intimidation tactic your boss, Sheriff McAllister, put you up to, I’m going to need both of your badge numbers right now,” Logan said, with this cold, authoritative tone.

The cop closed Logan’s bifold and handed everything back to me. “That won't be necessary. It appears we pulled over the wrong car.”

School was…well, it sucked. I walked Logan to the principal’s office and then I went to find Colt and Creed before class started. For most of the day, it was as if I were outside my body looking in. This morning had rattled me and I couldn’t focus.

At lunch, as I sat with Colt, Ethan, Isabelle, and a few of Ethan’s football buddies, I felt the urge to leave. I wanted to get up and just start walking. I’d walk all the way home if I had to. The sound of Amber’s laugh two tables over only made the urge stronger.

“Where’s Creed?” Ethan asked. “I thought yesterday was his last day of lunch detention.”

“He’s meeting with our coach.” Colt sounded off when he spoke and that had me looking up at him. Colt’s eyes met mine and I saw the hint of sadness in his face.

I stood from the table and left the cafeteria. I made my way to the building that housed the school’s pool. The swim coaches’ offices were located inside. When I entered the building, I spotted Creed sitting in the bleachers, staring at the school’s giant pool.

I climbed up and sat on the bench next to him. “You okay?”

“I quit the team.”

I’d had a hunch that was going to happen. Ever since he’d admitted he hated competing. These past two weeks being suspended from the team hadn’t seemed to faze him. If anything, he’d been glad to have the excuse not to go to practice. “How do you feel right now?”

“Relieved.”

“Then why do you look sad?” I asked.

“Because I’m worried he’d be disappointed in me.”

I put my hand in his and laid my head on his shoulder. “Your dad?”

He nodded.

“He’d want you to be happy, Creed. That’s what all parents want for their kids.” I squeezed his hand. “Now, he probably wouldn’t be happy with what I’m about to ask you.”

“What’s that?”

“Have you ever ditched school before?” I asked.

He snorted. “Yeah, why?”

“Will you ditch school with me and take me to get ice cream?”

He finally looked at me, surprise lifting his brows. “Right now?”

“Please?”

“What about Colt?”

“Of course, I always want him around, but would it be alright if you and I had some time to ourselves?”

Without letting go of my hand, he stood. “Let’s go.”

Creed called Colt once we were in his truck. As I sent a quick text to my uncle saying that he wouldn’t need to pick me up, I listened to Creed tell Colt about how he’d quit the team and that we were leaving for the day.

“No, I’m not taking her on a date,” he said into the phone. “I know you won the bet. We’re getting ice cream and going home.”

I smiled. I had forgotten about the bets they had made the last time we had raced. Colt had won the honor of taking me on a date first.

“Tell him he can take me on that date this weekend,” I told Creed.

He passed on the message and they said goodbye to each other after that. Creed tossed his phone in the cupholder and pulled out of the school’s parking lot.

“Was he upset?” I asked.

“Not at all,” Creed assured. “He said to have fun and reminded me about the bet when I told him I was taking you for ice cream.”

“Have you two decided what you want me to dress as for the Halloween party?” Because I had lost the race, they got to pick whatever I wore.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea to have a Halloween party, Shi. I don’t want to put you in a situation that will cause you distress.”

I loved that he wanted to put my needs first. They all did that. “What does a Halloween party entail?”

“It’ll be like Ethan’s party, but with costumes,” he answered.

Halloween was two weeks away. “I want you to have it and I want to go.”

Creed glanced at me, looking unsure. “What if something triggers an episode?”

I looked out the window. “I’m working on fixing that.”

“You went through something very traumatic that you still have difficulty talking about. I know you’re feeling better, but healing isn’t going to happen overnight.”

“I know that!” I snapped. Creed went quiet and I felt guilty for snapping. “I’m sorry.”

He removed one of his hands from the steering wheel and grabbed mine. “It’s alright.”

I laced our fingers. “I’m just so tired of missing out on things because of him. When I do, he wins. I don’t want him to win anymore.”

He brought the back of my hand up to his lips and kissed me there. “I think your uncle was right.”

I frowned at him.

He gave me a small smile. “You’re stronger.”

“I don’t know if I’m any stronger than I was before I hit rock bottom.”

“I wouldn’t say rock bottom. We wouldn’t have let you get that far,” he said.

“I didn’t want to live anymore, Creed,” I admitted.

His hand tightened around mine.

Guilt hit me. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him that. “I’m sorry if I upset you.”

He hit his brakes and turned down a short road that led to a park. After parking in a spot under a tree, he twisted in his seat to face me. “Don’t ever be sorry for telling me what you’re going through. I’m so fucking happy you’re finally opening up. It just breaks my heart that you ever felt that way.”

“I don’t feel that way now and I’ll do everything I can to not feel that way again,” I assured him. “I know it’s still hard for me to talk about that night.” My thoughts drifted back to Saturday night and how I had gotten sick after telling them just a little bit of what had happened. “For a short period of time each day, I’ve been letting myself think of that night. Before, I pushed everything that had happened to the furthest corner of my mind and with all my might, I refused to venture there. I didn’t want to remember what I felt, the pain, the fear, the overwhelming agony. Since I’ve allowed myself to take peeks, I do feel all of those things, but surprisingly, I mostly feel angry. Dr. Bolton says there are different stages of grief. I think I’m in the angry stage. I'm angry at Logan for leaving me when I needed him. I’m angry that I understand why he did it. If I had the opportunity to kill Mr. X, I’d do it. I’m, of course, angry at Mr. X. And I’m angry at myself.”

“Why are you angry at yourself?”

“Because I took on the guilt of losing my family and I still do sometimes. I hate that I almost let fear destroy me. I get that there isn’t a road map to acceptance and moving on. I get that some roads are longer than others and the decisions we make determine which road we take. I’m mad mine took me down a long one.”

“The long road isn’t so bad,” he said. “I’ll walk it with you.”

I shook my head, smiling.

“What?” he asked.

“You say things that make me fall in love with you more and more.”

His brows rose and the biggest smile stretched across his mouth. “You love me?”

Blushing, I looked out the window at the empty park. “Maybe.”

I heard the click of him unfastening his seat belt before he grabbed my chin. He made me face him, his beautiful aquamarine eyes boring into mine. “I love you, Shi,” he said and kissed me. I could feel the love he poured into that kiss as he devoured my mouth.

I unfastened my seat belt and crawled over the center console onto his lap. He reached down to the buttons on the side of the seat and it moved back, giving us more room. His hands went to my bare thighs and slid them up under the skirt of my dress until they reached my butt.

I trailed kisses down his neck and I knew I’d found his special spot when his fingers squeezed my butt over my underwear.

“I’m guessing this means ice cream will have to wait?” he said.

“Maybe you have something I want to lick more,” I said, brushing my nose against his ear.

He groaned. “I see Keelan has corrupted you. Remind me to thank him later.”

Smiling, I returned my lips to his. “You’re just as dirty.”

He moved a hand between my legs and rubbed me through my underwear. “There’s nothing bad about being dirty. Especially if it gets your panties this wet.” He pushed my underwear to the side and his fingers slid over my clit to my core. He pushed two fingers inside of me and cursed. “I wish I could have you naked.”

I pecked his lips. “You’ll have to use your imagination.”

As he pumped his fingers in and out of me, he said, “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

I rocked my hips, meeting the thrusts of his fingers.

“Will you ride my cock the way you’re riding my fingers?”

I smiled. “There’s only one way to find out.”

He pulled his fingers from me and grabbed his wallet from the center console. He pulled out a condom and tossed his wallet onto the floor without a care.

I scooted toward his knees and unbuttoned his pants. I reached inside of his boxers and pulled his hard cock free. As I stroked him, I held my hand out for the condom. “Can I put it on?”

He handed it over with a smirk and leaned the seat back a little. He got comfortable with his hands laced behind his head as he watched me tear open the foil packet. I rolled the condom down his shaft and scooted up his lap. He didn’t take his eyes off me as I aligned him with my entrance and eased down. His smirk dropped and his hands flew to my hips. “Fuck,” he drawled.

I put my hands on his chest as I sank lower and lower. Once he was fully sheathed inside of me, I exhaled. “I’ve never been on top before. Do I just bounce?”

His body shook with silent laughter and he tucked my hair behind my ear. “Just do what feels good to you.”

“I want you to feel good, too.”

“Whatever you do will feel good. Trust me.”

Biting my lip, I lifted up and slid back down him. That felt good, but it was missing something. I lifted up again and rolled my hips as I slid back down. That made us both groan. I did it again and again. He squeezed my hips, urging me to go faster and to slam down onto him harder. So I did.

“There you go, Shi,” he praised before leaning up to kiss me. “Do you love riding my cock?”

“Yes,” I panted. I felt my orgasm nearing and I chased it. “Creed,” I breathed. “I’m going to cum.”

He thrust his hips up, setting me off. I fisted his shirt and my head fell to his chest as I came apart. Just as my orgasm began to subside, Creed hooked his arm around my lower back and flipped us.

I let out a little yelp as he laid me on the seat. He threw my ankles onto his shoulders and began driving into me with hard thrusts. I threw my arms above my head and grabbed a hold of the head rest, needing something to hold onto because he was fucking me toward another orgasm. “Fuck!” I cursed.

“You’re gonna cum for me again, Shi,” he said as he pounded into me.

My legs shook uncontrollably and my toes curled in my shoes as I came again.

He grunted as he came, his thrusts turning into short spurts until he stilled inside me. Both of us were sweaty and breathing laboriously. That didn’t stop Creed from leaning down and kissing me.

I laughed around his kiss.

He pulled away a little to meet my eyes. “What?”

“You have me bent in half,” I said, looking at my feet still resting on his shoulders.

He smirked down at me. “I hope it doesn’t bother you, because I plan on bending you in all sorts of ways when I fuck you.”

I looked forward to it.