WITSEC

Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The next morning, I jerked awake hours before my alarm was due to go off. I lay there trying to calm the pounding in my chest. Keelan was sleeping soundlessly next to me, which I was grateful for. He needed to rest.

Once I was calm, I rolled onto my back with the intent to go back to sleep. Instead, I found myself staring at the dancing shadows on the ceiling as my mind became overwhelmed with thoughts. Thoughts of what I needed to get done that day, what assignments were due for school, which in turn reminded me of Cassy. Then I found myself thinking about her father, the sheriff, and then I was thinking about Logan, which pulled Mr. X into my thoughts. That was my breaking point.

Careful not to wake Keelan, I pushed off the covers and crept out of his room. I went home and changed into yellow athletic leggings and a matching racerback top. By the time I was stretching in my front yard, the sun was starting to rise.

Before I took off running through the neighborhood, I set a timer on my phone for one hour. That was it. I refused to let my run exceed that.

At the end of that hour, the sun had risen from behind the mountains and I had worked up a good sweat. It amazed me that even though it was late October, it was still hot out. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I turned off the alarm. I was down the street from my house and felt the temptation to run the rest of the way.

One hour. No more, I told myself and made myself walk.

As I approached my house, I saw Knox sitting on the steps leading up to my porch, drinking from a coffee mug. Walking toward him across my lawn, I pulled my earbuds out. “Did I wake you when I left this morning?”

“I went to check on Keelan and you weren’t there. Did you have a nightmare?”

I shook my head. “I woke up and my brain wouldn’t let me fall back to sleep. I figured a run would help me clear it.”

“Did it help?” he asked as he brought the mug to his mouth to take a sip.

I nodded.

“How long did you run for?”

“I only let myself run for an hour.”

Knox stood. “You’re allowed to run for however long you want. As long as you’re not running to avoid dealing with things.”

“I know. But it’s so easy to cross that line—to chase the pain that I can control versus feeling the pain I cannot. So for now, I’m going to take baby steps.”

Understanding, he nodded. “Want breakfast?”

I fought to not smile and failed. “Does breakfast come with stipulations?”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “I need my sacrificial lamb.”

I laughed. “They’re not that bad.”

“With you, they’re not that bad. With Keelan and me…well, let’s just say I’ve been told to fuck off more times than I can count.”

I snorted and started up the steps, passing him. “I’ll be over after I shower.”

He grabbed my hand, stopping me as I reached the top of the porch. I spun around, finding myself taller than him for once with him standing on the bottom step. He didn’t seem to like that and moved up a step, bringing us to equal heights. He leaned close as he pulled me to the edge. I knew what he intended. At least, my heart did. Why else would it be beating a million beats per minute?

His lips were a breath away from mine when I blurted, “I’m all sweaty.”

He pulled back enough to meet my eyes and I could see the incredulous look he wore.

My cheeks became hot. “You don’t care?”

“No,” he said simply.

“Right, ignore me,” I mumbled as I fisted the front of his shirt and touched my lips to his.

At first, his mouth stretched into a smile against mine, and then he returned my kiss. The kiss was short and chaste. I wasn’t all right with that. For too long he had held back from me. Now that he was mine, I’d stretch these moments for as long as he would let me. Before he could get too far, I recaptured his mouth and the first thing I did was suck his bottom lip between mine. The moment I grazed my teeth over it, he let out a guttural noise and his hand went to the back of my head. The way he kissed me back was anything but chaste. It was demanding and skilled in a naughty way. Especially his tongue. Gosh, that tongue was muddling my brain with the way it was stroking mine. Normally, I tried to give as good as I got, but found my resolve fading fast.

His hand flattened on my stomach before he broke away. It was probably for the best. My knees had been moments away from buckling. If I hadn’t been holding onto his shoulders, they probably would have given out sooner. Feeling his hand still pressed against my stomach, I realized that I was leaning very far over the steps. He took another step up, moving me to stand upright and safely on the porch as he did. “Go shower,” he ordered as he dropped his hand from my stomach and made his way back down the steps.

I put my hands on my hips as I watched him walk back to his house. “Because I was already going to take a shower, I’ll let that little bossy moment slide.”

He smirked over his shoulder. “I don’t care what you have to tell yourself as long as you do as you’re told.”

My mouth fell open. For a moment I was speechless. Then a mischievous smile pulled at the corners of my mouth. “Just for that, I’m going to take a longer shower. I’m feeling really dirty and there are certain areas that might need extra attention.”

Knox paused just before entering the house. I noticed his smirk hadn’t wavered as he glanced at me. “Well, if there is a need, make sure you’re thinking of me.”

Knox went inside, leaving me standing there, gaping.

I took a fast shower. Deciding to do my makeup after breakfast, I put on an olive-green sundress with cap sleeves and nude wedges I found in my closet. Leaving my hair down to air-dry, I headed next door.

Keelan was sitting at the kitchen island drinking coffee when I walked in. Noticing me, he said with a tired smile, “You look beautiful.”

I passed him, heading for the coffee maker. “Thank you.”

Knox, who was cooking at the stove, turned and his eyes looked me up and down. “That was quick.”

I stiffened for a breath before I pulled a mug from the cabinet and began filling it with coffee. “I’ve had a lot of practice getting myself…” I trailed off on purpose and turned back around with a filled mug in hand. As I passed him, heading toward the fridge to get the creamer, I finished, “Clean.”

I knew I had won when I caught the corner of his mouth lifting before he turned back toward the stove.

“Wow,” Keelan said, drawing our attention. With his good elbow on the counter, he rested his chin on his fist as he stared at me with awe. “I don’t know if I should be proud at how brazenly you delivered that or sad that you didn’t blush.”

“Maybe the four of you have corrupted me?” I shot over my shoulder as I grabbed the creamer from the fridge and used the counter to the right to stir some into my mug.

A body molded itself to my backside and lips grazed my ear as a hand slid over my lower stomach. “Oh, baby girl, if that’s true...” Keelan said in a low voice that gave me goosebumps. “You’ve just made me very determined to find new ways to make you blush.”

His seductive tone set my blood on fire and just like that, heat traveled up the back of my neck to my cheeks.

He huffed a laugh. “Maybe we haven’t corrupted you as much as you thought.” His words promised he had every intention of continuing my corruption and his confidence assured me that I’d enjoy every minute of it.

I made myself take a sip of my coffee instead of letting out the whimper I blocked in the back of my throat. He chuckled, giving me the impression I hadn’t been successful in hiding the effect he had on me.

“Breakfast is almost ready,” Knox announced, reminding me that I needed to wake the twins.

Keelan kissed the top of my head before stepping away to return to his seat at the island.

I took one more sip of coffee and proudly walked out of the kitchen on steady legs.

I went to Creed’s room first. He grumbled when I first tried to wake him, but once he realized it was me doing the waking, he tried to grab me. As much as I wanted to fall into bed with him, I knew breakfast was almost ready and Knox would come looking if I took too long. Creed cursed his eldest brother as I backed out of his room.

Colt was already awake when I poked my head into his room. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, scrolling through his phone in nothing but his boxers, which left most of his tan and hard body on display. I took in the sight, and I couldn’t seem to stop staring even when his head turned in my direction. He stood, his face lit up. My gaze dropped down his smooth and defined chest. As if to a beacon, my eyes were pulled to the V of his hips.

Colt had taken a step toward me, then stilled. When I was finally able to look away from his body, I found him smirking. He flicked his fingers in a come here gesture.

I shook my head as I kept my feet planted in the doorway. “If I come in this room, we’ll miss out on breakfast.”

“I’ll buy you breakfast on the way to school.” His voice was deep and pure seduction. It awakened the butterflies in my stomach and it took a lot of effort to stop them from flying south. I was sure he would buy me breakfast later, after he sated a different hunger showing in his eyes.

Colt took another step forward at the same time I felt a presence behind me. Arms wrapped around my middle before lips started kissing their way up my neck. “I’d rather eat something else for breakfast,” Creed said, and bit lightly on the spot just below my ear that he knew would make my toes curl.

Oh-my-lanta. This is so unfair. On their own, I’d found that I barely had the strength to resist them, but together, I was a goner.

“Shiloh isn’t on the menu,” a stern voice said from behind us.

Hearing Knox was enough to smack some sense into me and I wiggled out of Creed’s embrace.

Colt and Creed smirked at their brother, unashamed.

“Shi is always on the menu,” Creed said.

“Consensually, of course,” Colt added.

Knox folded his arms across his chest, frowning at his little brothers.

“I should have taken a longer shower,” I mumbled to myself and moved past Creed, then Knox, heading back toward the kitchen.

As I walked away, I heard Knox say, “You horny shits better be taking things at her pace. Just because you started having sex doesn’t mean she’s ready for everything.”

“You should be having this conversation with Keelan. We’ve always understood the pace we’ve needed to take with her,” Colt argued, and that made me stop just before exiting the hall. It was rude to eavesdrop, but I didn’t care. They were talking about me and I wanted to hear it.

I felt Keelan come up next to me as Creed’s voice carried down the hall, “Yeah. Keelan is the dirty bastard who’s been playing teacher in the bedroom, which honestly, I don’t know if I want to punch him or thank him, because fuuuuck .”

Keelan chuckled, gaining their attention. “By that reaction, I’d say all the thanks belongs to Shi.”

The three of them glanced at me, even Colt, who was standing in his doorway, now dressed in basketball shorts.

Could your whole body blush? Because every inch of my skin felt hot.

Creed grinned at me. “Oh, I’ve thanked her.”

Holy moly , he was giving me naughty flashbacks of his head between my legs, and from the cocksure smirk he held, he knew what I was thinking, too.

“I was going to thank her again this morning,” he continued. “Until my older brother decided to cockblock?—”

Knox smacked the back of Creed’s head, then gave Keelan a look of disapproval.

“Don’t give me that look,” Keelan said, his tone turning serious. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I don’t do anything with Shi she isn’t ready for.” Keelan glanced at me for just a breath of a second, and in that brief moment, I saw uncertainty. I didn’t like that. He may have been intense and seemed to have difficulty restraining his naughty side when we had sex, but I loved it. I didn’t like it when any of them held back from me. I understood why. I wasn’t as experienced as them and my past had damaged me in a way that I couldn’t fix overnight, no matter how much I wished I could. But was it wrong that I wanted them to throw caution to the wind—to an extent, of course—and be with me completely? I gave in to them completely in those intimate moments.

My posture straightened. “Do you all think I am incapable of telling any of you no?”

Colt, Creed, and Keelan wisely stayed quiet.

“Regardless, they still need to take things at your pace,” Knox said.

“My pace isn’t glacial, Knox,” I said, my patience wavering a bit.

Knox frowned, but his voice was calm. “I didn’t say it was.”

I exhaled slowly, regaining control. “I know you all mean well.”

“I’m sensing a but coming,” Creed mumbled.

I shook my head. “No buts. It’s just, everything…what we’ve done so far…” My cheeks became hot again as I stammered over what to say. “Don’t change the pace. Not that there really is a pace anymore. I’m already having sex with you, for crying out loud. Well, most of you, and I’ve told two out of three what I’m not comfortable trying yet.”

Keelan’s brows furrowed. “I’m ninety-nine percent sure I’m not one of the two.”

“It hasn’t come up yet. That’s why I haven’t told you,” I explained.

I could see that Keelan was about to ask what it was, but Creed spoke before him. “I find that surprising. Then again, you’d need another one of us there to do it.”

“I’m not ready for the one-on-one experience either,” I grumbled, beyond embarrassed.

Knox, who seemed to realize what we were talking about, let out a curse.

“Ah,” Keelan said. “I think I’ve caught on.” He smirked at the twins. “Sounds to me like you two assholes need to take a couple of steps down from the top of that moral hill you’re standing on. It hasn’t even crossed my mind to take that step with Shi.”

Creed gave him a disbelieving look. “I highly doubt you haven’t thought about doing it with her.”

Colt groaned, rubbing his hands down his face.

One side of Keelan’s mouth lifted. “Still didn’t even consider bringing it up. Shi is in no way ready for that.”

“We didn’t bring it up,” Creed blurted, making me wince. What I wouldn’t have given for the ground to open up and swallow me in that moment.

“Creed,” Colt said low, tone full of warning.

“You really expect me to believe that Shi was the one to bring up anal?” Keelan asked.

“Cheese and rice! I did! I brought it up! I brought up anal and double penetration. My butt is off-limits. All right?”

They had all gone quiet. So quiet you could hear a pin drop. Until Colt, who had his eyes closed and his hand draped over his nose and mouth, snorted. Keelan turned away from me, his shoulders shaking. Creed was the first to let a laugh escape. That was what broke their control and had all four of them exploding with laughter that bounced off the hall walls. Even Knox, who was a little hunched over, had a hand on the wall as if to keep him from losing his balance. It was a beautiful sound despite it being at my expense.

Trying not to laugh with them, I said, “It’s not that funny.”

That seemed to set them off more. I waited until they calmed down with my arms folded over my chest.

Colt cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, babe. We weren’t laughing at you.”

“I’ve heard that before,” I grumbled. “At least I’m not naked this time.”

Keelan’s head whipped toward Colt and Creed. “You laughed at Shiloh when she was naked?”

Creed frowned at Keelan. “Not because she was naked.”

“She just happened to be that way when the topic came up,” Colt explained.

I could see Keelan wanted more information, but it was time to drop this mortifying conversation. “Now that is settled, can we go eat before the food gets cold?”

“Yes,” Knox said, seeming just as eager to move on from what we were talking about. “Let’s go eat.”

We all sat down at the table and filled our plates with the delicious food Knox had made. Colt placed some French toast on one side of my plate a second before Creed dropped sausage on the other. My heart clenched a little as I stared down at my plate.

“Do you not like French toast?” Knox asked as he added food to his plate.

“I love it,” I said sullenly. “Shayla and I made French toast for my mother every year for Mother’s Day. It was her favorite.”

“We would make our dad chocolate-chip waffles for Father’s Day,” Creed said, and that seemed to surprise everyone.

“That’s right,” Keelan said with a sad smile. “Knox always lost his shit every time the two of you stole a handful of chocolate chips whenever his back was turned.”

“You stole the chocolate chips, too,” Creed grumbled. “You just never got caught and played the innocent bystander when we did.”

Keelan’s smile grew into a somewhat happy one. “I can’t help it, I'm older and wiser.”

As Creed and Keelan bickered, I took notice of how silent Colt and Knox were. Knox was quietly eating as he watched his brothers go back and forth. He appeared bored, but there was sadness in his eyes. Colt seemed to be frozen, lost in his thoughts as he stared down at his untouched plate. Hoping to comfort him, I placed my hand on his forearm.

“My dad always requested an omelet with whatever we wanted to put in it. He loved surprises and always looked forward to finding out what ingredients we’d choose each year,” I said, shifting from their dad to mine, hoping to ease their pain. “One year, when Shay and I were little, we wanted to make him a green eggs and ham omelet. We put ham and every green vegetable we could think of in it, which included broccoli and peas. It must have been so gross, but he ate every bite like it was the most delicious omelet Shay and I had ever made him.” My eyes welled up and I had to blink a couple of times to keep any tears from falling.

“Our mother loved banana pancakes,” Knox said, shocking all of us. Even Colt looked up from his plate.

“She loved banana everything. Banana cream pie and banana bread and muffins,” Keelan said, looking from Creed to Colt and back again. “When she was pregnant with you two, Dad said that all she wanted to eat was banana pudding.”

As Keelan talked about their mother, Colt and Creed hung on his every word. Their mother had passed away from lung cancer when the twins had been six, which would have made Keelan eleven and Knox thirteen. Knox and Keelan had more time with and memories of their mother, whereas Colt and Creed probably didn’t remember much about her. If they did, I had a feeling they weren’t memories of when she had been healthy.

Silence blanketed the table as we ate. Since I had been the one to drag us all down memory lane, I felt obligated to pull us out of it. “Anything eventful going on at work today?”

“I’ll be working from home,” Keelan said.

“You shouldn’t be working at all,” Knox grumbled.

Keelan shrugged. “You can’t finish the preparations for the mud run tomorrow and find coverage for all my classes.” With Keelan’s injuries, it’d be a while before he could teach again. Last night, I had offered to help in any way that I could, even if that meant teaching the class with someone else. Keelan had explained that with everything that was going on with the sheriff and Jacob, it might be best to take a break from teaching with him. I agreed. My life was full of…hurdles and that wasn’t fair to the women paying for the class.

“I need to find someone to help me with Shi’s training on the weekend, too,” Keelan added.

“I’d suggest Derek, but he’s covering the front desk,” Knox said.

“Derek?” I said.

“Derek’s our fill-in guy,” Creed said. “He’s worked in every department.”

“The guy has impressive MMA training,” Keelan added.

“He hates teaching classes, though,” Colt said. “He prefers one-on-one teaching, which is why he does personal training.”

“I thought personal training was to teach people how to get into shape?” I asked.

“It is. We don’t offer one-on-one self-defense training,” Knox said.

Keelan gave him a look that clearly screamed W.T.F.?

I wasn’t surprised. I had a feeling that was the case. It was one of the reasons I had been reluctant to let Keelan train me. By the look he was giving Knox, he was worried me knowing would cause issues with our arrangement. “So Derek is a no-go,” I said, moving the conversation on.

The four of them stared at me, then exchanged looks with each other with varying tells of surprise. Like always, Keelan was the quickest to recover. “Derek wants to continue working the front desk part-time so he can still do personal training. We just need to hire someone to cover what’s left of Stephanie’s shifts.”

“If you give me a week or two to find someone, you can ask Derek to help you with Shiloh’s training,” Knox said to Keelan.

Keelan looked at me. “Would you be comfortable with that?”

I shrugged. “Sure.”

“We should make a decision about the Halloween party,” Creed said, changing the subject.

“It’s not a good idea,” Knox said at the same time I said, “Have it.”

Knox frowned at me, and I could see he was getting ready to argue.

“You have to trust me to know what I can and cannot handle,” I said to him. “I’m so sick of missing out on things. I used to love horror movies. I don’t remember what it’s like to feel the thrill and excitement of being scared for a stupid reason. So much was taken from me, and if I ever want to get any of it back, I have to try. If all I can handle is to stand in the middle of a Halloween party for ten minutes, then at least I gained ten minutes. It’s a small step, but it’s still progress.”

They became quiet as they seemed to process what I had said.

“We’ll keep the decorations tame and Creed or I will stick by her side,” Colt said, siding with me.

I squeezed his hand, smiling.

Keelan looked at Knox. “Want to chaperone a high-school party?”

Knox gave him a look that said that was the last thing he’d want to do.

“And by chaperone, I mean we lock ourselves in one of our rooms and play video games,” Keelan added. “It’d be one less room the horny high-schoolers try to screw in. Plus, we’ll be close if anything happens with Shi.”

I arched a brow at Keelan. “You know you’re dating a high-schooler, right?”

“Nope.” Keelan shook his head, standing. “You’re supposed to be in college.” He pointed at Colt, then Creed. “You’re the one dating the high-schoolers.”

Colt and Creed both rolled their eyes at him as he scooped up his empty plate and took it over to the sink.

I glanced from Keelan to Knox and back to Keelan again. “Does it bother you that I’m still in high school?” The insecure question left my mouth before I could stop it.

Before he made it to the sink, Keelan stopped abruptly and turned around to face me with a blindsided expression. “I was only playing around.”

I looked at Knox. He was staring at me and appeared a little angry.

Was he mad that I’d pointed it out?

Knox is a man. You’re just a girl still in high school. Stephanie’s stupid voice filled my head.

Doing my best not to show what I was feeling, I looked away from him and stood from the table. “Speaking of school, I need to finish getting ready.” I passed Keelan to set my dirty plate in the sink.

I could feel them all watching me.

“We’ll take my car today,” Colt said. There was a hint of irritation in his voice.

I glanced at the table as I headed for the door. Colt held an unreadable expression as he stared at me. Creed and Keelan, though, were glaring at Knox.

“Okay,” I shot over my shoulder. As I went to close the front door behind me, I could have sworn I heard Colt say, “Seriously, Knox?”