Chapter 25
Wizard
When I finally check my phone again the next morning, it’s after we woke up, made love, and lounged in the bath.
I had to be reasonable and suggest that we at least pretend that we’re going to order breakfast at some point.
My phone was the last thing I thought of.
It’s been in the pocket of my jeans, turned off.
I trusted Maverick and Dravin with the club’s security.
They know what to do in case of an emergency.
Nothing else was more important than my time with Esme.
I wanted it to be just the two of us, without outside distractions.
I don’t like the number of texts that pop up as soon as I power my phone on. My mom and dad are the opposite of most people’s parents. They don’t try to call. They’re not big texters either. Before I even read any of the messages, I have a pretty good guess as to what they’re about.
I’d be a liar if I said my blood pressure doesn’t spike to new levels. I can relax about most things, but not this.
The first round are from last night.
Mom: Sandra says she saw you leaving Hart and that you had someone on the back of your bike.
Mom: I suppose if there’s one good thing about having a son in a biker club, it’s that most of this town knows you and your bike by now and they’ll tell me if anything strange is going on.
Mom: With my own son, who won’t tell his mother anything himself.
Mom: I’m not so old and na?ve that I don’t know what that means.
Mom: I know you. You’re my son. You wouldn’t just put anyone back there. We all know you. Esme and James break up and a few days later she’s on the back of your bike? How do you think that’s going to go over?
Mom: How do you think that looks, or don’t you care?
Mom: Your brother is going to be home eventually. He’s going to find out. It’ll drive him mad.
I pause after reading that one. It sounds a lot like she knows exactly when James is going to be back. I can almost hear her scolding tone, all the worry pressing into her voice. For my brother, not for me.
Mom: Your brother might seem like he doesn’t care about anything, but he does. He’s very sensitive when it all comes right down to it.
Okay… that makes me think that James called her, or that he’s already there. I set up the security cameras at their house, but I don’t have access to them. I could get it, if I wanted to, but it would take some effort with this phone.
I glance across the room, at Esme. She’s digging in her backpack, tugging on clothes.
She catches me looking and smiles the softest, sweetest smile at me.
My stomach cramps. I don’t want to keep this from her, but I’d also like to be sure before I tell her that James is back.
To do that, I’d have to call my parents, and there’s no way I’m going to.
I shouldn’t have even turned this on. I should have left myself unplugged.
I don’t want to ruin this time for Esme by burdening her with something that we can’t do anything about until we’re back in Hart anyway.
There are more texts. I keep scrolling down, scanning them quickly.
Mom: I know that you’re ignoring me. You never have your phone off. Not even at family Christmas dinners. It’s always screens, screens, screens.
Mom: Neal! Answer me.
Fuck. If my mom stopped to think for two seconds about any of that, she’d realize how wrong those messages are.
I’m sure she’s taking my perceived silence as answer enough.
I didn’t want this to be the way that my parents found out about me and Esme, but honestly?
I don’t know that I ever wanted to tell them.
It’s not their business. If they don’t understand me, then they won’t understand this.
They’ve always been, and they always will be, Team James.
They can go on being the people they are, and I can go on being me. We can exist in Hart. I won’t let them chase me away, and I certainly won’t let them chase Esme away. I’ll protect her. I never planned on managing them. I don’t know what I’d planned, really.
I said that was it, but I didn’t mean I was going to cut them off forever. I meant that I’d stop letting everything slide. I wouldn’t let them treat me the way they always have. I’d speak up for myself, and definitely for Esme.
“Wizard? Are you okay?”
The phone drops from my hands and lands on the bed. “I’m… something. I haven’t decided yet.”
Esme tugs a fresh tank top on, with no bra underneath. “Is it the club?”
“One of my mom’s friends saw us riding out of Hart.
” I wish I didn’t have to say anything. I keep my voice neutral, so that I don’t reveal how pissed off I am about people prying into our lives.
“She told my mom that I had someone on the back of my bike and mom’s been blowing up my phone.
I had it turned off, which I never do, but this is our time away.
I trust Dravin and Maverick to hold everything down at the club.
I didn’t need to be checking my phone every couple minutes. ”
She rolls her bottom lip between her teeth. “Is it bad?”
“It’s not bad. It’s annoying. It’s—I don’t even know what it is.
” I open my arms and she falls into them, sitting on my lap and hugging me while I hold her.
My heart picks up and some of my annoyance bleeds away.
I enjoy the scent of her, her warmth, her arms draped around me in a protective hold instead.
“I don’t know that I want to devote the energy to giving it any attention.
They know now, and that is what it is. I’ve always been bad at speaking up for myself, but it’s time for boundaries.
If that means staying away and not talking to my parents until they can think things over for themselves, then maybe that’s for the best. No amount of me wasting my breath is going to get them to hear me or see reason. ”
“That’s very true. Still…” She rubs small circles on my back.
“I’m sorry this is so difficult. This isn’t me blaming myself.
This is me saying that I know what it’s like to wish that I could have said that my parents were my heroes growing up, or that they inspired me, or that we were best friends with each other.
I think it’ll be different now, but it’s—it’s uncomfortable. It’s painful. I get it.”
She does understand. Not just because she’s empathetic, but because she’s been a part of my life for so long. She knows exactly how my parents are.
“I’m not gonna answer her.”
“Is that okay? I think you should text something back if it’s going to make you upset. I don’t want that for you. I’m fine with whatever they’re going to say.”
“I’m not. I made that clear when I went over there.
If I respond with anything, it’s gonna be a repeat of what I told them, and then I’ll make sure that I don’t answer anything else.
Maybe I should block their numbers so they can’t text me.
If I have to read stupid shit every day while they sort themselves out, I’m gonna lose my mind. ”
“I’m only sorry that it hurts. I know it does.”
I want to protect her, but there she is, with more than a little bit of a protective edge to her own voice. “Thank you.”
She kisses the back of my neck. “Want to have breakfast?”
I toss my phone onto the chair where my clothes are. I face Esme, smiling an easy, genuine smile because she’s here, in my arms, and life doesn’t get much better than that, even if there are some parts of the background noise that need adjustment.
“I’d love breakfast with you. In bed. I’ll call down and they’ll bring it up. I’m all about sampling other foods off your body.”
Esme gets two minutes into the menu when my phone rings. We both glance at it. I curse, thinking that my mom has graduated from blowing up my phone with texts to calling, provoked by my silence. I don’t mind nearly half as much when I see Raiden’s name on the screen.
I don’t mind until the first thing Raiden says is, “Your brother is outside the clubhouse, screaming for you to come out.”
Fuck. I knew that my mom’s texts about James were weird.
“What? He’s—”
“Yeah. Not in Mexico anymore. Want me to call the cops? I think a good old-fashioned arrest might do wonders.”
Like most clubs, we do pay something to the cops in Hart, but they’re not a bad bunch overall, and haven’t given the club any problems over the years. Still, it’s not like we call them. Ever. More the opposite. Thinking about Raiden doing it makes me want to laugh, although none of this is funny.
Tyrant pops up on the phone. “We could also let him in and show him the basement.” That’s sorted other not so great types out real fast. “It’s nothing short of miraculous, how people grow up in a hurry when they’re facing down a whole host of pissed off guys and a tray of shiny, sharp objects.
” Tyrant clears his throat. “To be clear, we wouldn’t actually torture him. ”
“He could probably use a few punches to shut up his asshole mouth. Or a good gag. I’d be fine with either.”
“It’s up to you,” Tyrant says. He’s serious. “What would you like us to do?”
My eyes track to Esme. I’m not sure she can hear anything, but she knows something is fucked judging by my tone.
“I’ll be back later this afternoon. I’ll ride over to my parents’ house.
My mom was texting me endlessly and I figured that I’d have to say something.
She mentioned my brother, but not that he was home.
” Esme winces and I want to ride straight to Hart and do something that I’ve never done in my life: pound my brother into the dirt.
“When you tell him to leave, give him a printout of the amount he owes the club and ask what his repayment plan looks like. Tell him to have it ready. I can grab it from him this afternoon.”
“You’re not going over there by yourself, are you?” Raiden asks.
“No. He’s not,” Esme cuts in. She plops down on the bed beside me. I guess that answers that question about whether she can hear what’s going on. There’s no room on her face for argument. She’s absolutely certain about this. “I’m going with him. We’ll head straight there from here.”
“Esme…” I protest.
“James has said every terrible thing to me that you can imagine. This isn’t anything new. I’m not afraid of him. I’m not scared of your parents either. They can say what they want. It doesn’t make it true. I don’t want you to go there by yourself. You’re not alone anymore.”
“You’re definitely not alone,” Raiden confirms.
“We can send someone with you,” Tyrant urges.
“I think this is something Esme and I would like to do by ourselves, if that’s alright? If James doesn’t give both of us a solid apology and discuss repayment terms, then it’s club business.”
Tyrant and Raiden respect family and they easily respect my decision. “Be safe,” Raiden urges.
“Call us if you need anything,” Tyrant adds.
“I will. Thanks. And thanks for taking one for the team here.”
They both let me know that they don’t mind turfing James out of there, and it’s not my fault he showed up, then they hang up.
I already have an apology ready, but Esme cuts me off. She gathers my hands up in hers and squeezes them. “Nothing James does is your fault. Not one thing he says or has ever said.”
I lean into her, dragging in a shuddering breath that goes down hard in my lungs and stays trapped and burning. “I won’t let this ruin our time together. I’m not worried about me Only about you. If he says anything or does anything—”
She stops that with a kiss. It starts out filthy and desperate and slows down into sweet nips and tugs at my bottom lip and ends with me melting against her. “This is our time,” she insists.
I know she doesn’t just mean these few days that we took for ourselves.
She means all of it. Nothing is going to come between us.
Not my parents, not James, not the town or anyone in it.
She knows how hard I’ll fight for her and she looks at me like she’d fight the entire world and drape it at my feet if anyone hurt me.
“We still have a few hours,” she urges. “Let’s have breakfast.” She’s already climbing into my lap, squeezing her thighs against my waist. She’s only half dressed, in a tank top and her panties.
I power off my phone and hurtle it back onto the chair.
It’s gonna stay there until we’re ready to leave.
I’m not cutting our time together short by so much as a second.
I’m not going to sit here and brood about what I can’t control or how this conversation is going to go.
It’ll happen. My brother will probably be his usual asshole self.
There’s a slim chance that he might listen to reason.
He sounds pissed, ranting outside the clubhouse, but there’s nothing I can do about that either.
He has quite a few hours to blow off some of that steam before I get back to Hart.
I’m not counting on my parents for any help in this.
I’m sure about one thing only, and it’s that I’m going to make sure I’m heard.
Those boundaries will be carved into fucking stone.
“Let’s have breakfast,” I agree. “There’s literally nothing more in the world that I’d rather do than share it with you.”
“Despite the distractions?”
“Not despite or in spite of. Just that. Breakfast. You and me. I won’t let anything change that.
Not the past, and not my family.” I realize how much of a bubble that sounds like, and bubbles inevitably burst, so I kiss her and thread my hands around her waist, splaying them out at the small of her back to support her.
“You’re my forever, Esme. You’re my hope, my dream, my future.
You’re my story, and there’s still so much of it to write together.
I’m so happy that we’re doing this together.
The hard days are hard and the shitty parts suck, but we’ll get through it.
We’ll have more of these perfect moments.
They’re great because you’re here. No other reason. ”
She’s barely breathing by the end of it.
I’m scared that I went overboard and got way too intense, but then she grasps my shoulders and kisses me.
I kiss her back, throwing myself into it like she does, letting her know that there’s not a single part of me that isn’t hers, and that nothing is gonna change that.