THIRTY-SEVEN
I n tenth grade, I made a list of my dreams for senior prom.
First on that list was Clay Diaz picking me up with a corsage, admiring my beauty. I wanted to take those cheesy couple photos at Ollie’s in front of his mom’s rose garden, which I’d frame and display on my bedside table until the end of time. I wanted to Boomerang a cheers with champagne flutes in the back of the limo with Kassie. Also cheesy? Totally. But rom-coms have deluded my expectations, okay?
I’ve dreamed about this night ever since Kassie and I watched The Kissing Booth at a sixth-grade sleepover. We consulted Google immediately, ogling sequined gowns, making collages filled with celebrities we’d love to go with, curating the perfect romantic slow-dance playlists, and gushing about the day it would finally be our turn to go to prom.
And now, here it is. The best day of a teenager’s life, after years of anticipating, commiserating, and meticulously planning.
Things aren’t going exactly as planned. My hairdresser, Alice, butchered my updo. She went buck-wild curling the hair framing my face into tiny old-lady ringlets. It’s not that I have anything against curls. But this is far from the loose, old-Hollywood glam waves I presented in my album of inspiration photos.
“I have to do them tight because your hair is so pin-straight and coarse. It’ll fall throughout the day, trust,” she kept insisting as I watched the horror in the mirror.
It’s been two hours since I left the salon and it has yet to fall. In fact, I kind of resemble a hobbit. This does not bode well for my trust issues. Even Mom had to stifle a snort when she picked me up.
Unfortunately, my appointment ran late so I don’t have time to fix it. I have exactly forty-five minutes to do my makeup and get dressed before Clay picks me up.
I’m naked in the bathtub frantically shaving a patch of hair on my upper thigh when Clay shows up. He’s a good half hour earlier than I instructed last night via text.
As I hastily rinse the shaving cream off my legs, Mom answers the front door. I hear her squeal in delight. Footsteps pad into the living room and she says, “The famous Clay Diaz. Charlotte has told me so much about you!” Kill me now.
I struggle to zip my dress without assistance as Mom fawns over Clay in the living room, asking about Model UN, where he’s going to college next year, and what he hopes to do with his life. Then she tells him he’s the spitting image of one of the characters in the book she’s writing. I’m shocked he doesn’t flee.
By the time I muster the strength to emerge from my room, Clay is sitting stiff backed on my couch, gripping the armrest. He’s wearing a black suit with a pinstriped gray tie. There’s something different about his hair. Gel, perhaps? It’s combed back like an old-school gangster. All he’s missing is a fedora.
“Hi,” I say. I spot my dirty llama-print socks strewn over the cushion next to him. Cool. Cool. Cool.
“Hey, Charlotte,” he says with a half smile, eyes darting to my hair, and then back to Mom behind me. He looks flat-out nervous, very different from his usual chill self.
“S-sorry I’m late.” My face is hot from rushing around and blow-drying my chest to get a water stain out of my silk dress. “You look ... nice.”
He smiles. “Thanks. My mom insisted I wear a suit.”
I laugh, disturbed. What would he wear to prom other than a suit? There’s an awkward beat of silence as I wait for him to return the compliment, but he doesn’t. Maybe my hair really is that bad. Instead, he extends a hand toward me, clutching a clear plastic box containing a pale-pink corsage. The corsage is beautiful, with a little bracelet attached made of tiny pearl-like beads.
I open the box and put it on my wrist, admiring it from all angles. “It’s gorgeous. Thanks, Clay.”
Mom claps her hands together, stands abruptly, and pats herself down like a TSA agent. She does this when she’s looking for her phone, which is usually either lost between the couch cushions or in the cup holder of the car. This time, it’s on top of the microwave. “Can I take some photos of you two in the front yard before you leave?”
We head outside and snap a couple unflattering photos before Mom lets us go.
“Kinda shy, eh?” she whispers as Clay heads to his Jeep. I can tell she’s really thinking, Hmm, not too sure about him. I give her a warning look and her expression softens. “Don’t be nervous. Just have fun! And don’t forget to be safe tonight.” She gives me a suggestive wink. My mom has turned into Amy Poehler in Mean Girls .
“Bye, Mom,” I say before hopping into Clay’s Jeep. “Sorry about her, by the way.”
“It’s cool. She’s nice.” He seems unbothered, eyes trained on the road ahead.
I really should have planned some talking points ahead of time, because right now, my mind is blank. Why is it that I can’t summon a single word in Clay’s presence? It’s like he has some weird hold on me that renders me unable to speak English.
In fact, the only words we exchange the entire drive are the directions I give to Ollie’s.
When we arrive at Ollie’s, a whoosh of relief escapes me. Maybe things will be better once we’re around everyone else. Being alone in a vehicle with someone you don’t know all that well is awkward, after all.
The low pitch of Renner’s laugh carries across Ollie’s sprawling waterfront yard. I squeeze my eyes shut as I adjust my dress at the end of the long gravel driveway.
Just ignore him like you always have. Don’t let him ruin yet another monumental high school event.
Unfortunately, Renner is the first person I see as Clay and I enter the yard.
His charcoal suit is perfectly tailored, fitting nicely along his broad shoulders. The warm summer breeze pushes his hair slightly askew, like a SoCal surfer dude. But it’s his dazzling smile that makes my stomach roll.
His eyes quite literally crinkle at the edges. I imagine them bursting with cartoon hearts as he admires Andie, who’s striking pose after pose for the professional photographer. A ping of envy hits me as I take in Andie’s long, flowing, bright-orange two-piece that accentuates her fit body, making her runway-ready legs appear even longer. While most of the girls have opted for curled updos, she has a sleek, pin-straight ponytail, softened with newly trimmed curtain bangs that fall on either side of her face. She’s a vision, even next to Kassie, who looks like an ice queen in a silver-blue, crystal-adorned gown, half updo, and lush stick-on lashes. And I’m a stubby toad compared to them both.
I guess I’ve always been a little jealous of Andie, even before this whole Renner debacle. While Kassie has always been my best friend, she’s never made that distinction between me and her other friends. Whenever we’re in photos together, she always calls us both “besties.” And in birthday posts, she calls me “one of” her favorite people. She’s political, I’ll give her that.
After Clay ditches me to play beer pong with the guys, I take refuge in Ollie’s kitchen, helping his dad prepare appetizers. His dad is a sweet, soft-spoken man who takes every opportunity to lament about how music “just isn’t the same these days.”
He’s chattering away about how the Red Hot Chili Peppers should be required listening in American high schools when Nori summons me outside to take group photos. Despite her gorgeous gown, the first thing I notice are her bangs. They hang just above her brows, slightly uneven on the left.
“You. Look. Hot,” Nori whispers, arm linked with mine as we head toward the photo area.
“I look straight from the Shire. But you look amazing. And you ... you cut your bangs,” I say, reaching to adjust a strand before the photographer snaps an unflattering pic.
“I know. I didn’t want to. But then I felt like I shouldn’t mess around with fate, you know?” While I’ve explained to her multiple times that my “time travel” was just my overactive imagination, she’s still convinced it was some strange cosmic event.
“So you cut them anyways?”
“I had no choice. Haven’t you seen those time-travel movies? If you try to screw with the outcome, you always wind up drastically screwing up your life,” she says through a smile. “You said I seemed happy in the future, so the last thing I need to do is not cut my bangs and end up destitute on the streets or something.”
I consider explaining Uncle Larry’s reverse grandfather paradox to her, but that’s a lot to digest as we take prom photos. So I just nod. “Fair enough.”
Group photos are a whole new brand of chaos. There are variations of pairings, poses, full group photos, girls’ shots, guys’ shots, et cetera. An argument even breaks out over who gets to be in the center of the group shots and who gets stuck on the end. (Spoiler alert, I voluntarily go to the end to avoid controversy.) And when it’s our turn for couples’ photos, the photographer decides Clay and I need a lesson on “natural smiling.”
When we pile into the limo, Clay sits with the guys in the back. Kassie and Andie are taking selfies near the front. The only open seat is smack dab in the middle. Right next to Renner. Of course.
He stiffens when I plop next to him, eager to rest my poor feet. “Feet still hurt?”
“How’d you guess?” I groan.
Renner digs into his pocket and pulls out a handful of Band-Aids as the limo pulls out of Ollie’s driveway. “Need one?”
I give him a wary look, half-mad at myself for not packing extras. “Why do you have a pocket full of Band-Aids?”
“Am I not allowed to carry first-aid supplies?”
I don’t bother to answer as I gratefully pluck two from his hands. “Thanks.”
“How was brunch with your dad?”
His question takes me off guard. I didn’t think he’d remember.
“So ...,” he starts when I don’t respond. “You’re here with Clay.”
“Obviously. Why do you care?” I ask, placing a Band-Aid over a newly formed blister next to the strap of my heel.
He shrugs, readjusting in his seat. “I don’t. I just—I wanted to make sure you were having a good time together. I know tonight is important for you.”
“We’re having a blast, thank you,” I say deadpan, although I’m not so sure about Clay. He seems wholly uncomfortable with this whole prom thing.
Renner follows my gaze to Clay, who’s sought solace with the guys, seemingly forgetting I exist. “Are you, though? Because you’ve got your mad face on.”
“My mad face?”
He nods.
“A natural by-product of being near you, yes,” I say, too tired to come up with anything wittier.
“All right. Whatever you say,” he says, though his tone tells me he doesn’t buy it.
“Instead of pestering me, why don’t you go dote on Andie? Your actual prom date?”
His eyes widen. “Come on. You can’t be mad that I agreed to take Andie days before anything happened between us.”
My instinct is to deny, deny. “I’m not mad about that, Renner,” I say, though I’m pretty sure my face is a dead giveaway. “But good on you for always thinking everything is about you. And for the record, nothing happened between us.”
“You really think that kiss was nothing?” he whispers. He’s right, of course. It was everything. But my pride won’t let me admit it.
I shake my head. “Nope. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.”
“Okay, if you say so.” We sit in awkward, stilted silence. Renner finally deflates, exasperated. “You never even gave me a chance to explain. You just ran out—”
I hold my hand out to stop him. “Why are you doing this? You know I like Clay. Why can’t you just let me be happy for once instead of always trying to ruin everything?” It comes out louder than intended, catching Andie’s and Kassie’s attention in the front of the limo.
I can see the pity in his face. The downturn of his lips. The sad, dopey eyes. Before he can respond, Andie plops herself smack between us, half on my lap and half on Renner’s.
I take this as my cue to move and snag her previous spot next to Kassie.
“Everything good with you and J. T.?” she asks pointedly, fluffing her hair in her compact mirror.
I flash her a fake smile, willing Renner to disappear into a cloud of dust. “When are things ever good between us?”
“Don’t let him get to you,” she warns.
“Oh, I won’t,” I declare.
J.T.Renner may have ruined freshman homecoming, but he won’t ruin my prom.