Chapter 9
My blood jolted, and not even Raffe’s presence could calm me. His answer would fundamentally change certain things between us, fated or not.
Now, I wished I hadn’t asked the question. There was safety in not knowing, but that wasn’t fair to him or me. The question would always linger in the back of my head. I wanted to understand who I was mated to.
He licked his lips and scoffed. “So that’s what you think of me?”
A vise constricted around my heart, but the damage was done. “I’m asking you about it, right? Instead of taking their word.”
“Because kidnappers are ethical and would never lie or bend the truth.” He arched a brow as his eyes darkened with hurt.
The spot in my chest radiated his hurt and disappointment, which pissed me off.
“If I thought all of that was true, would I bother asking you about it?” I rolled my shoulders, the dried mud driving me insane by how badly it itched. “If someone would’ve told me that in August, I wouldn’t have even considered asking you because I would’ve assumed it was true. Remember when you labeled me a social pariah in class? That wasn’t out of the kindness of your heart.” He didn’t get to be upset with me for wanting his side of the story, and worse, the longer he deflected, the more I feared it was true. Why else would he be so defensive?
His hands tightened on the steering wheel, and his jaw cracked from how hard he was clenching his teeth. “I hated every second of that. Do you know what it’s like to have to do something like that to your fated mate? Even then, I knew who you were. I knew it the second you ran out of the woods the night you arrived. I felt your presence as you jogged into the woods, and the only reason I didn’t follow you was because you moved like a human. When you ran out, you became the very person that I had to protect from any pain and harm.”
I shook my head, my blood increasing to a slight fizz. I needed to calm down, but he didn’t get to turn himself into the victim. “Yet you did each one of those things to me.”
“Dammit, Sky.” He hit his palm against the steering wheel. “That’s not fair. You weren’t the only person struggling. It wasn’t easy for me to want to be with you and have to pretend I couldn’t stand you while you were being attacked every second or damn near imploding. Not to mention how Slade hovers around you like a dog in heat.”
I tensed. I hated the way he spoke about Slade, but I was wise enough not to say anything about it. I didn’t need to add to our already tenuous moment, but I felt like I was betraying Slade—especially after he’d risked his life to save mine—by letting Raffe talk about him that way. “I don’t want to argue. I was just asking a question. I get that you’re risking a lot to be with me. That’s why I walked away from you when Keith found out we were secretly together.”
That was the hardest thing I’d ever done, but I couldn’t be with someone who was struggling over whether to stay with me. I didn’t want him to resent me later.
I huffed out a breath. “I wasn’t trying to dredge up the past, but clearly, that needs to happen. To be clear, I wanted you the entire time, even when you were being an ass. I wasn’t the one fighting you or trying to make others view you as less than a person. You don’t get to paint me as the instigator. That was all you, Keith, and your father.”
Even after Raffe had claimed me and I’d been kidnapped, Keith still looked at me—even in wolf form—like I was worse than scum.
“But that picture looked bad, so I wanted you to be aware they’d shown it to me, and I need to hear your side of the story. If that makes me a bitch, so be it.” I stared straight ahead, the familiar roads coming into view. We were about five minutes away from campus. I placed my hands on my … well, mud since I couldn’t even feel the jeans underneath with how thick the mud coated me. I tried to regulate my breathing. If my emotions got stronger, my blood would surge close to a hum while we were in a car. I did not want to find out how that would go.
He hung his head slightly. “I’m not trying to make you feel that way. I’m sorry. And yes, that’s good information to know because they could be recruiting people by using that image depicting me as a monster. It also means they had someone watching and taking pictures.” He grimaced and blew out a breath. “That particular attack haunts me.” His voice thickened with regret, mirroring the heaviness in my chest.
I was feeling him.
How was that possible?
The strange presence within me churned, increasing my urge to reach out to him and take away all his pain. I hated seeing him this way and would do anything to alleviate his guilt so he’d never feel this way again.
I laid my hand on his, but he didn’t respond, and his attention remained on the road. A sharp pain shot through me.
“The picture was right. When we reached the abandoned warehouse, there weren’t any humans there. Only vampires,” he said raggedly.
A gigantic lump lodged in my throat, but despite the horror, I didn’t want to pull my hand away. He regretted that day, and I needed to be there for him. Whatever had happened was a burden to him.
I opened my mouth, unsure what to say, but he continued, “What the picture doesn’t reveal is the five humans they were holding in a different location. They were manipulating their minds, making them want to remain blood slaves.”
Mouth snapping closed, I swallowed, making a loud gulping noise around the lump in my throat. “Blood slaves?” I shivered; the thought was horrible. I’d been bitten by a vampire multiple times, and it had hurt. I understood people had their kinks, but the sensation of those bites was something I couldn’t fathom anyone enjoying.
The black iron sign with the words Evergreen Elite University molded into the center appeared in front of us, held up by its two gigantic brick pillars. Usually, the campus felt like home, but not in this moment … not with this horrible story.
“In the old days, when the human population was smaller, vampires would acquire blood slaves so humans wouldn’t question why they had bite marks they couldn’t remember getting.” Raffe pursed his lips like the words tasted bad. “The vampires would usually have a human family live with them so they could feed off six or seven at their leisure. The families were ostracized because they would always wear layers of clothing to hide their marks despite the warm weather. They were deemed strange, and often, the family line died off because no one would marry their strange children, and the vampire would then move on to another family.”
I inhaled sharply. That sounded similar to my experience growing up with people finding me strange and not wanting anything to do with me. Those poor kids. In a way, I understood why the wolf shifters had tried to keep vampires away from heavily populated areas.
We coasted into campus, the huge brick sports stadium where the football team played towering on our right and the student center straight ahead. The cherry trees around the lawn in front of the building, which students lounged under during the warm months, were bare in the cold weather.
Raffe turned left toward the apartment buildings, passing the soccer and tennis courts. “That’s what a few of the vampires were attempting to do again, but they were living away from the family to go undetected.”
Then it hit me. They’d picked a smaller city so they could feast on people without the wolves noticing.
“Dad got word of the situation through a supernatural intranet board monitored by an anonymous source who claims to be a witch. They were passing through the city and sensed the magical essence of mind manipulation on the humans at the local market.”
I hmmed. “Is it normal to post anonymously?”
He nodded. “People reporting something like that don’t usually share their identity. Supernaturals tend to be vindictive, and it’s essentially a safety net to protect the whistleblower.”
Made sense. My dad worked as an accountant at a large company, and I knew it had a number where you could report violations anonymously.
We passed the administration building, and Raffe pulled into the apartment parking lot. I kept my junky old Honda Civic parked in the back corner, but Raffe parked in a reserved spot in front of the path that led to the two five-story cement apartment buildings.
My focus went to the nearby woods, which were part of the Cascade Mountains forest that trailed up the side and back of the campus. I fixed my eyes on the tree line at the edge of the women’s apartment building on the left, where I’d gone to find Raffe that fateful night Dave had kidnapped me.
I couldn’t hold back a shudder.
Raffe took my hand, rubbing his thumb against my inner wrist. The buzz between us thrummed to life, and my pulse raced.
“We found the humans, and Lafayette removed the manipulations on them once the bite marks were healed. Adam, Keith, and I led a group of wolf shifters to the warehouse.” He closed his eyes, and his face twisted. “When we arrived, we asked for the ones responsible to come forward. Said they were the only ones who needed to be punished, but all the vampires laughed.”
My stomach roiled, but the weight of my concern lessened. As I’d believed, Raffe hadn’t ruthlessly attacked these vampires. Pictures might be worth a thousand words, but they could also be deceiving.
“They told me to head back home … that I didn’t have the strength to do anything to them.” Raffe ran his free hand through his hair, tousling it. “Then two of them attacked me. I was prepared, but Keith and Adam … well, they believed their role was to protect me. The other vampires thought Keith and Adam were attacking them, and chaos erupted. I lost control of the situation, and five of the men with me died, along with all the vampires.”
I tried to pull up the photos in my mind because I only remembered seeing vampires dead on the ground. I counted the people who’d been standing behind Raffe—eleven wolf shifters. “The picture showed only dead vampires and all your men alive.” Had the Veiled Circle photoshopped the picture?
He turned to me with glistening eyes. “By the time the vampires were dead, five of my men lay on the ground with them. I wouldn’t lie about that.”
His hurt seeped into me, and my vision blurred. I squeezed his hand. “I believe you, Raffe. I just can’t believe they’d try to—”
“Drive a wedge between us?” He arched a brow. “Paint me as a murderer to further their cause?”
Those were fair points. “More the latter. It’s going far beyond wanting their rights back and into some sort of perverse quest for vengeance.” They were willing to do anything to take my mate down, and I wanted to make them hurt for what they’d done.
“I didn’t realize how far things had gone, but right now, I want to get my mate inside our home, help her get cleaned up, then hold her in my arms.” He turned off the car. “Can we not talk about all this for the rest of the night? I can’t stand not holding you any longer.”
His eyes glowed faintly, and that presence inside me stirred harder. With the yank strengthening in my chest, I had no qualms. “Of course.”
He exhaled and smiled. “Good. I was hoping you’d say that.”
He exited the car, and by the time I opened my door, he was already there, helping me out.
I smiled so wide that my cheeks hurt. “I’m feeling a lot better now that I’m warm. Well, other than being itchy.” I glanced up at the half-moon, noting it was descending. It was around two in the morning, which was good, given how much mud was caked on me. It was the middle of the school week, and most people were asleep.
Wrapping an arm around my waist, Raffe shut my door, and we made our way to the building. The cold night air had me stepping closer to him. Maybe I wasn’t as back to normal as I thought.
We entered through the double-glass doors and rode the elevator up to the fifth floor. In the light-gray hallway, we turned left. My mud-covered socks padded on the dark-gray carpet, leaving splotches of dirt behind. I cringed and stopped to remove the socks. A cloud of dirt swirled around me. Okay, that hadn’t been the smartest idea, but I was committed at this point.
Raffe chuckled, and I turned to find him smiling at me adoringly. My heart sputtered, and we headed to the apartment at the end.
I entered the code to the door and paused. “Where’s Cat-Keith?” The last thing I wanted was for my adopted cat from the animal shelter to attack Raffe as soon as I opened the door.
“She’s fine.” Raffe shook his head. “She and Lucy have come to an understanding while you’ve been gone. She’s in Lucy’s room.”
Learning that the two of them had formed a connection made me smile. I would’ve never believed it based on Cat-Keith’s reaction to Lucy the day I’d brought her home. “Good. I didn’t want her to attack you.” I wasn’t sure I had the energy to fight her off.
I entered the apartment with Raffe on my heels and headed straight into the one full bathroom in the middle of the small hallway that led to the two bedrooms.
Now that I could shower in my own place, I was eager to clean off the itchy dirt. I turned the water on in the marble-tiled shower and removed my clothes, trying to keep the dirt flakes to a minimum.
Raffe entered and grabbed a clean white towel from under the counter. He placed it on the sink for me.
He opened the glass door and pointed at my clothes. “I’ll put these in the washing machine and clean up behind you.” Something like sadness still shadowed his eyes.
I slipped into the shower and gasped, the water warmer than expected. I stepped under the spray.
The dirt still clung to me. I grabbed my vanilla-scented shampoo and started cleaning myself from the top of my head down. After I’d washed my body once, the water was still slightly brown. Not like when I’d first gotten in, but I had more work to do. As I washed the bites on my neck and wrist, I realized they were already scabbing over.
The sound of clothes dropping pulled my attention from my wrist. Raffe closed and locked the bathroom door and joined me.
My breath caught as I scanned his body. He was an amazing, caring person and built sexier than any god could ever dream of. I wasn’t sure how I’d gotten so lucky.
He took the bar of soap from my hands and worked up suds, then guided me to turn around and washed my back where I couldn’t reach. I could feel his anger swirling inside me as he growled, “Those vampires will die by my hands.”
His strong hands kneaded my back, working out knots I’d thought would never disappear. The buzz of our connection and the way his hands worked my body had need flaring within me. I no longer sensed sadness from him. Maybe I’d been paranoid after our earlier conversation.
He spun me around, allowing the water to run down my back, and I stepped toward him, needing to kiss him. The yanking almost swallowed me whole. Having him here like this had the presence inside me urging me forward.
I needed him.
Before I could kiss him, he moved under the spray to clean himself. I wanted to help him, but I stood there transfixed by the way his muscles flexed as he washed his entire body. Somehow, this was more erotic than foreplay.
When he cleaned his already hard dick, something inside me snapped.
I surged forward and kissed him, and he pulled me against him. His tongue swooped into my mouth, and I reveled in his minty taste. I wrapped my arms around his neck, needing to touch him and also have him support my weight.
He spun us around, my back against the tile so we were both in the water.
I freed a hand and trailed my fingers down his chest, causing him to quiver. He groaned, taking a small step back, and growled, “You’re injured. I’m trying to behave. Though my wolf wants to claim you all over again, we should wait.”
I whimpered. “My wounds are already healing, and I’m clean. I feel fine, and I need you after being apart for so long.” I closed the small gap between us and took him in my hand. Holding his gaze, I started to stroke him. “We can clean up afterward since we’re already here.” I waggled my brows. “You got into the shower with me.”
His hand fisted my hair, tilting my head back so I could stare into his face as the water poured over him. He rasped, “I got in to get clean and wash your back.”
“I’m not complaining.” I stroked him again, and I watched as his resolve shattered.
“I need you too,” he said and kissed me. He released my hair, and his hand brushed my nipple while he slipped his other hand between my legs. I continued to stroke him, and his fingers circled the spot between my legs at the same pace.
Unable to hold my head up, I leaned it against the tile wall, and his mouth went to one breast.
I moaned, unable to stop myself. I clenched with need so hard that I nearly combusted, but all that accomplished was making his fingers work faster as he sucked my nipple into his mouth. My hips ground against his hand, and he slipped two fingers inside me.
My body was on fire.
My muscles tensed as he moved his fingers and tongue faster.
Our bodies were slick with water and desire. His breathing turned ragged as his hips jerked in time with my hand. We worked each other’s bodies into a frenzy.
My orgasm consumed me. My muscles tensed, and pleasure rolled through me, my body spasming around his fingers, urging him to go faster.
As soon as the ecstasy eased, I tried to pull away, hypersensitive to his touch, but he held me firm.
“I’m not done with you. Again,” he growled, his words igniting something wild inside me.
With that, my body was ready for him all over again. “Not this way. I want you.” After being apart for so long, I needed him inside me.
He shook his head. “You’re hurt. I don’t want to do anything that will cause you pain.”
“Please, Raffe.” I understood he was afraid that I wasn’t well enough to take him. “I need you.”
Something like relief crossed his face. “Gods, I need you too, Skylar. You swear you’ll tell me if I hurt you?”
I increased the speed of my strokes and answered, “I swear.”
“Thank gods. You still smell like vampires where they bit you, and my wolf can’t take it. All I want to do is make love to you over and over again until you remember only me and how I feel.” He stepped between my legs and lifted me against the wall.
I nodded. “I want that too. Please.”
He pressed against my opening and slid inside, filling me. My head thumped against the cold tile, a slight discomfort that ebbed.
He placed one hand behind my head, keeping me from hitting the wall again, then pressed his mouth to mine.
With him inside me, I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him closer so his body pressed to mine, and he sank deeper.
Then he thrust inside me. Each time he completed me, our souls merged more. In my chest, I felt his love and desperation so strong that they only added to mine.
Soon, that knot of desire tightened again, my release imminent. Our kisses became messy and urgent as our pace quickened.
The presence inside me jerked, and I suddenly had the urge to bite him.
What the fuck was wrong with me? That couldn’t be normal. What sort of human wanted to bite someone? Had Glinda and Warin done something to me when I was unconscious?
Raffe’s mouth pulled away from mine, and he kissed down my neck to a spot above where the vampire had bitten me. The urge to bite him intensified just as the urge for him to bite me crashed down even harder.
“Make their smell go away,” I panted, using my free hand to grab his head and press it hard against my skin. “I want to smell like only you again. Bite me.”
He groaned, his teeth raking my skin, pushing me closer to an orgasm. I shuddered against him and panted, and he bit gently into my neck, the experience bringing me closer to the end. Then he kissed the spot where the vampires’ fangs had dug in.
“The other side too,” I said, chasing my pleasure.
He didn’t hesitate. As he moved to the other side, I saw his glowing eyes so bright it was breathtaking. He bit me carefully as he pushed hard inside me and stilled, and I writhed against him, ecstasy exploding through me.
His body quivered with his own release, and I dug my nails into the small of his back instead of giving in to the strange temptation to bite him.
Being with him like this, with our souls fully connected … I needed this more than I needed to breathe.
He peppered kisses over my face then pulled away and stepped back into the water. I followed him, not ready to give up touching him. I pressed my lips to his, and our tongues tangled again.
“You don’t know how crazy I was while you were gone. I didn’t sleep. I was so determined to find you.” He pulled away and stared deep into my eyes. “I love you, Skylar, and they’ll never take you away from me again.”
His love filled the spot in my chest, and the strange presence eased back as if it were pouting.
“I love you, too,” I whispered. I cupped his face. “Which is why we need to dry off and dress so we can both get some sleep.”
His eyes warmed to a cobalt hue. “You don’t know how much better I’ll sleep tonight now that I’ve claimed you again. I didn’t hurt you, right? I tried to be gentle.”
“You were perfect. I needed you to do it just as bad as you wanted to.” I kissed his lips again. “Let’s go to bed.” Exhaustion inched up on me.
He grinned. “Now that is something I can do.”
Raffe put on sweatpants and a shirt, and I headed into my bedroom. My lilac comforter was still askew from when we’d had sex the first time, right before I was taken. I bit my bottom lip, remembering that moment as I moved to the gray dresser and removed a pair of lilac pajama bottoms and a black T-shirt.
I climbed into the queen-size bed and stared up at the purple paper butterflies I’d made back home, which I’d threaded through the light fixture so that they hung down like a cascading chandelier.
When Raffe entered the room, a tender smile graced his face, but that sadness was back in his eyes. I hadn’t imagined it earlier. I could feel the warmth of his love in my chest, but I could also feel hurt.
He climbed into bed beside me, and I couldn’t handle it anymore.
“Raffe, what’s wrong?” I asked, knowing I couldn’t sleep with him feeling like this. I should’ve pushed him about it earlier.
“Noth—”
I sighed. “Don’t lie, please.” A faint odor drifted to me, but I didn’t worry about it.
“You need rest.” He kissed my forehead and stretched his arms out to me.
I shook my head. “I won’t be able to.” I suspected what it was, and even though he was still being loving and amazing, I hated that I’d hurt him. “Earlier, when I asked about the abandoned warehouse, I didn’t really think you’d done something wrong.”
He arched a brow. “But you weren’t sure. You asked the question. If you knew, you would’ve just told me.”
Shit. I had known better, and I’d let those people get inside my head. I wanted to punch myself. “I’m sorry. It’s just—”
A loud knock at the front door caused Raffe to snarl and jump to his feet.