12. Chapter 12
Chapter 12
Lilli
The following week I trudge into school with a headache. I brooded the whole weekend before letting it go. Wolf isn’t interested, and I’m being foolish in my conquest. It’s time I moved on because my heart hurts bad enough as it is.
I haven’t seen Darcy since the blowout at the field, which means I haven’t confessed the sad news about her shoes. I assume she’s skipping today and glumly I follow my classmates into the auditorium for a last-minute assembly.
While the principal drones on, I search the crowd, chewing my lip only to whip around when I hear someone say Darcy’s name.
“I heard she was arrested.” The whispered words send a shiver down my spine, and I turn to stare at the freshman behind me.
She shrinks under my gaze, but I ignore it and rasp, “What did you say?”
“Wh-What?” she stutters.
“About Darcy?”
Her eyes brighten and she leans forward. My stomach roils at the cloying strawberry scent clinging to her hair as she licks her lips and glances around all covert like.
My skin prickles and I clench my fingers into fists because I know that Daddy would not appreciate getting a call from the school today or any day for that matter. Especially to hear that one of his daughters punched another student in the face.
Finally, the girl says, “She was arrested. Her mama too. My dad said the sheriff went on a rampage over the weekend and he’s rounding up a buncha those bikers for prostitution too.”
Her gleeful smile blurs as the world around me fades. Are the Saints involved in prostitution?
“Is your sister really with one of those psychos?” she asks, and I look up.
“Why?”
“Cuz, my dad said he might arrest her, too. She really a prostitute, Lilli?”
Visions of the sheriff in that cruiser the other night fill my vision and black dots dance before my eyes.
Am I responsible for this? Wolf kept telling me, but I didn’t listen. What if the sheriff tells my parents? What’s going to happen to Miriam and her baby?
Standing, I ignore the students who begin to whisper and stare as I push through them, down the bleachers and toward the doors. I don’t know how my legs hold me because my limbs are numb. After pressing the bar to open the door, I rush through before staggering down the hall.
To these people, she’s the topic of nasty gossip and I’m the perfect reverend’s daughter. They don’t understand who we are and my heart burns for their stupidity.
I’m at a loss as to what to do but I’m afraid both because I know my parents are not going to take this lying down and I made trouble for my sister, Wolf, and his people for my own selfishness.
Once I’m alone in the bathroom, I approach the sink, clutching my chest and wheezing through the lump in my throat. Just a few weeks ago, I was a dull girl with a boring life. Now, everything has changed.
Darcy’s been arrested and Miriam and Wolf’s friends aren’t far behind. All I wanted was to protect my sister and now I’ve created a mess that I can’t fix.
When the door whooshes open behind me, I wipe my eyes and meet Rachel’s worried stare in the mirror. She searches my gaze before saying, “What’s wrong, Lil?”
A shiver wracks me, and I drop my chin, whispering, “I’m in trouble.”
Mama’s waiting for me when I come home. With ice in my veins, I set down my bag and pause just inside the door. She eyes me quietly while I sweat before she says, “Is it true?”
“What?” I whisper, which is foolish because Mama doesn’t like anything but complete subservience and pretending only heightens her rage.
Her hand is in my hair before I can react, and she wrenches me around before shoving me to my knees.
Unfortunately, we’re too close to the kitchen table and my skull rebounds off the edge. Biting back a cry, I grab my head as she snarls, “You think you can bring shame to me? Me!”
She pounds her chest, her eyes wild and I slowly shake my head. I want to deny it, but I know it wouldn’t do me any good. Even if I weren’t lying, she would never believe me over the sheriff. I’m damned, either way.
“Who?” she spits, and I bow my head. Maybe if I’m quiet, she’ll lose steam. Except Mama won’t let up until she’s satisfied. I could sit here for hours and listen to her rant, or she could slap me around until her arms get tired.
Sometimes she has Daddy use the whip. The worst is the closet though and I’m praying that she will be satisfied by flaying me with her words.
“Answer me,” she shrieks, and I flinch, the sound ratcheting the ache building in my skull.
“I don’t know,” I whisper, and she smacks the side of my head. With a moan, I shrink away as she paces around me, her rapid steps matching the frantic beat of my heart.
Finally, she stops and looms over me once again. Freezing, I close my eyes and brace for impact when she says, “Go to your room. No food. No water. Two days, Lillith Anne.”
My limbs almost fail me as I rise and stagger to my room. I got off lightly. Two days in my room without food and water pales in comparison to the other punishments that I’ve endured. Still, my soul burns at the prospect because for once, my instinct was to fight back, and this does not bode well for my future in the Abernathy household.
“You don’t have any other choice,” Rachel insists, throwing the jeans I borrowed from Darcy at my face.
Grabbing them out of the air, I glance at the door. I’m worried about leaving after Miriam’s experience at the hands of Daddy and his punishment but more so what they will do to Rachel if they find her helping me.
I don’t have a choice, but Rachel does. Regardless, she ignored my pleas for the last thirty minutes while we argued about her being in my room and what I planned to do.
Grumbling under my breath, I slide the jeans on, except once again, I have to suck in a breath to get them past my hips. Why would anyone subject themselves to this kind of torture?
When Rachel hands me the tube top, I eye it dubiously before pulling it on, followed by one of my button-down shirts that I tie around my waist. Maybe I should be more comfortable showing my skin after my first few adventures but I’m still uneasy.
Rachel cocks her head, and I watch from the corner of my eyes as she looks me up and down with a slight smile. Ugh.
Grimacing, I mumble, “Don’t get any ideas.”
With a shrug, she turns away and I watch with a pulse of worry. It’s bad enough I’m caught up in this and Miriam too. I can’t imagine what Mama would do if we all went to the dark side.
I guess I will worry about this newest turn of events when I return because with every minute I stand here, the clock ticking down in my brain sends me into a tailspin of fear and regret. I need to find Wolf and tell him what I know. It’s the only answer that feels right.
I just hope that he understands.
Ignoring the anxiety tightening my chest, I pull my hair into a ponytail and slather on the purple lipstick Darcy gave me. She’s a rough chick with a seriously bad attitude, but I like her free spirit. She didn’t deserve to get caught up in my mess.
The boots Wolf harassed some poor girl into giving me lay on the bed, and I eye them with a frown as Rachel says, “You can’t wear your tennis shoes.”
Rubbing my brow, I say, “I’m not walking all that way in heels. I’ll break an ankle.”
“Here,” she says, holding out her hand.
Looking from her to the wadded-up cash in her palm and back, I shake my head, but she shoves it my way and says, “Yes, call a taxi or a rideshare or whatever. You can’t walk that far, Lil.”
“Rae, that’s your money—“
“I know, and now I’m giving it to you.”
After searching her eyes, I slowly nod, my chest warm when she squeezes my fingers. I’ve never felt closer to her than I do now, but I wish it wasn't under these circumstances. This is so messed up.
“Okay, but I'll pay you back,” I say, stuffing it in my jeans and picking up the boots.
Rachel covers her smile while she watches me struggle into the thigh-high boots and when I stand, my feet instantly begin to ache.
Shoot.
“Okay,” I say on an exhale, “I’ll be back later.”
She nods and I cross the room to hug her. I don’t know who’s more surprised, but she hides the emotion behind a brash smile while I commit this moment to memory. We may be prisoners of our parent’s world, but at our core, we will fight for each other. That means more to me than I can ever express.
Rachel follows me to the window. At the corner of the house, I wave before stepping out onto the street. It’s quiet and dark and after sucking in a breath, I cut between the two houses behind us before emerging on the street on the other side.
The walk is achingly quiet but for my heavy breaths as I survey my surroundings and pray to everything I try to believe in, that no one sees me. Three houses down, I pause when a light turns on in the upstairs window of the house I’m walking past. I try to remember who lives there but it escapes me, and I hope this means it’s not one of Daddy’s parishioners.
The light blinks out and I lean over, grabbing my knees as I suck in a painful breath. That was close. Too close. I need to hustle but with every step forward, my feet hurt in the horrible, torture devices on my feet.
Finally, I’m clear of the neighborhood and I stop at the laundromat, where I collapse to the bench just inside the door. My feet throb before the pain in my arches recedes.
A woman folding her shirt glances at me strangely, but I ignore her and eye the last pay phone that exists in this town. Most people have cell phones, but my parents refused the added expense of providing them for us, something to add to the list of reasons why we’ve always been different.
Luckily this one still exists but it asks for change and with a frustrated sigh, I lean my head against the cool metal. I only have cash, and I don’t have a credit card either. Now what?
“Problem?” the young woman asks, and I turn to her with a sheepish smile.
“I need to order a ride.”
She cocks her head, eyeing me for a moment, and says, “You have cash?”
Nodding I pull it from my pocket, and she glances at it and me before whipping out her phone. “Where are you going?”
I give her the address for the track, and her brows flicker but she doesn’t comment. Once she’s entered it, she looks up and says, “Twenty bucks.”
Silently I nod, and she presses okay, confirming the ride. After handing her the crumpled twenty, I say, “Thanks.”
She turns away with a small smile and I wait on the sidewalk, glancing around uneasily. Just because I made it out of my neighborhood and I’m not in my normal clothes, doesn't mean no one would recognize me. My hands sweat, and I swipe them nervously along the denim, my anxiety ticking up with every moment that passes. What if Wolf isn’t there? Is it wrong to go there and potentially make this worse?
Finally, my ride pulls up and I slide inside, staring out the window quietly. My stomach is tied in knots at the thought of seeing Wolf again but beyond that, I’m praying he doesn’t send me away in a rage. I don’t know who else to talk to, besides Duke who I hope would listen but he’s also in charge of my pregnant sister.
Leaning my head against the cool window, I consider just running away but to what end? Miriam and Wolf’s friends would still be at risk and it’s not like I have the means to just leave. Besides, I can’t back down when this is my fault, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself after.
The flash of the cars lined up at the track blinds me and I sit up with resolve, wiping away my tears. This is my only option, and I will face the music, even if it burns me in the end.
When I step out onto the dirt, my feet immediately protest in the boots and with a grimace, I walk down the line, searching the cars revving their engines. I don’t see Duke nor his vehicle, though. Maybe they're not here? But is Wolf?
The place is packed, and I circle the grounds twice before pushing through a group blocking my path, but all I get for my efforts is a headache and pinched toes.
The rev of the motors draws my attention and with a weary sigh, I sit down on a stump and watch the cars take off from above the crowd.
Cheers ring out, the racket deafening amongst the roaring engines. A red car with a pretty, black stripe takes the lead but soon it's outpaced by a blue number with cool rims. Behind them, as they duke it out are the remaining vehicles, spilling dirt and exhaust into the air.
Caught up in the action, I sit up when the blue car veers to the left, only to freeze when a smarmy voice says behind me, “Want a hit?”
Spinning on the stump, I eye the stranger smiling wide, absently noting his missing front tooth as I stutter, “No.”
He waves the drug around in the air before wiping his hand down his shirt, covered in grease stains, and smelling vaguely of sweat and something musky.
“Aw c’mon now,” he says with a wink. “I got something we could share.”
Looking around, I shake my head. I’m at the edge of the crowd and achingly alone. It was incredibly stupid of me to put myself in such a precarious position.
“Um, no thanks,” I say, before standing.
When he touches my arm, a shudder rolls through me and I step back as he says, “You—“
“Sprocket! What the fuck are you doing here?” a deep voice booms over my shoulder.
Sprocket? The weirdo stiffens and glances to his right and left while I turn my head. Holy crap! I didn’t think a man could be so tall and well…huge. He’s a veritable giant, towering over me, even in the ridiculously tall boots.
His pretty blue eyes meet mine and he winks. Heat paints my cheeks, and I drop my chin as he turns back to Sprocket and barks, “Well?”
I flinch at the deep, booming demand as Sprocket, whines, “It’s a free country.”
The giant chuckles and I shiver. Beyond his ginormous form, he has a stripe of hair standing on end across his head, dyed a rainbow of colors that I can’t help but stare at. How did he get his hair to do that?
He’s also wearing the same vest as Wolf. While I’m relieved that this man may be able to help me find Wolf, I’m also appropriately cautious.
Maybe this was a mistake?
“Free country? Ain’t nothin’ free, Sprocket. You know that,” the giant says, spreading his arms. “Now I’m feelin’ pleasantly relaxed which is why I’m letting you go, but don’t come back. Got me?”
Sprocket’s shifty gaze bounces from me to the giant before he nods. Bemused, I watch him disappear into the trees before turning back to the giant patiently waiting.
“Um, sorry,” I stutter when he grins. “I’m looking for someone.”
I don’t know what he wants but I’m hoping it’s not trouble because there’s nothing I can do against this wall of muscle. Nothing…
“No problem, darlin’. But you’re breakin’ my heart because I don’t think you mean me,” he says with a smirk and another wink for good measure. I can’t help but be charmed by his twinkling blue eyes and sexy smile.
I also don’t know if he’s serious because he’s easily twice my age. Beyond that, he doesn’t hold a candle to what Wolf makes me feel with a grouchy frown.
“Uh,” I say, shaking my head. “I’m looking for Wolf. Have you seen him?”
The giant’s smile drops, and I suppress a shiver at how just that changes his facade from friendly and flirty to downright menacing. Wow.
Cocking his brow, he says, “Wolf? Darlin’, you may be lookin’ for him but he ain’t lookin’ for you.”
Okay, that was way harsh but not untrue I concede. Either way, my cheeks flame once more as I say, “I’m not…I don’t. I just need to see him.”
“Fucker always gets the good ones,” he grumbles. “Okay, c’mon. He’s probably down by the track.”
Although I already checked down there, I’m hoping he knows more than I do. So, I stumble after him in the boots, wishing I had just worn my damn tennis shoes. It’s not like I’m here to impress the jerk.
Still, images of his dilated eyes perusing my form in these torture devices send a shiver through me and I admit, I want him to see me in them, even if only to remind him of what he’s missing.
At the edge of the track, the giant waves at me and says, “Wait here.”
I’m not about to argue because I’m not sure I can walk any further anyway. Instead, I lean against a tree as he disappears into the crowd before closing my eyes.
My stomach is a roiling mass of nerves at the thought of seeing Wolf again and despite my desperate reminder to keep it together, my body has other plans.
Except the longer I wait, the more frustrated I become. My feet are killing me. Images of Wolf with the pretty chick at the Saturday Market dance over my vision and the giant hasn’t returned. Maybe it is true. Maybe Wolf doesn’t want to see me.
Now what? Willing back a surge of pathetic tears, I push back through the crowd. My heart jumps into my throat when I think I see Miriam but when I shout her name, a girl I don’t recognize turns.
Despair claws at my chest and I stumble to a stop. This was useless and now I have to figure out how to get home.
Yay.