18. Calm Before the Storm
eighteen
LUCA
Guilt eats at me for removing the protection symbols every time Red drew them. It doesn’t matter that Grammy told me to, or that I did it to keep her from getting in trouble with Gunnar. I should have found a way to learn what they were before I touched them.
“I think we should let James know what’s going on. If these symbols are protecting us from Amber, then he should probably be surrounded by them too,” I say to Ryland, Orym, and Trevan. Glancing around, I see that Grammy and Red have come outside too but aren’t quite close enough to hear our conversation.
“I agree, but he has to be able to be around people and control his urges. I’ve heard that’s hard for new vamps,” Orym replies.
Trevan looks at us for a moment before he speaks. “There is a magical option. It’s a spell that can be tattooed on the skin and prevents vampires from being able to feed off a being without permission. If you warn your packs that it’s coming, I can do it from here and cover everyone.”
“How is that possible?” I ask, but Ryland already has his phone out, starting the text chain. Within a few minutes, everyone will be aware of the new ‘ink’ coming their way.
“You’re going to take away James’ ability to prove he can control himself. Why would you do that?” Red steps closer and glares at her father.
“To protect you all, of course,” he responds.
“Leave me out of your spell. I trust him, and I don’t want a mark that will prevent him from feeding on me if he needs to.” Her words echo between us, and I understand her irritation.
“I agree. Protect the packs, but I don’t need it. James won’t hurt us. We’re his family,” I say, knowing it may not be the smartest decision I’ve ever made. If we were in a situation where I was not able to agree to him feeding from me, and the result would be him being harmed, I don’t want that.
“You’d risk your lives just to keep from hurting his feelings?” Orym asks. I’m not sure I can explain my reasoning in a way he can understand.
Luckily, I don’t have to. Ryland holds up a hand. “I don’t want the mark either. If we get into a situation where James needs to feed and we somehow can’t give consent, I want him to be able to take what he needs. I agree with Red and Luca; he won’t hurt us.” He turns to Orym. “It’s your decision, but you know if the roles were reversed, he’d agree with us.”
“It’s not like he has some sort of wolf protection. I get it. He trusts us with his life, we should do the same. I don’t want the mark either. But the rest of the packs need it,” Orym insists.
“Of course,” Trevan agrees.
RYLAND
With the protection tattoo spell in the works, I call Dec. James needs to be here, because he needs to be part of what’s going on.
“What’s wrong?” he asks the second he answers my call.
“Can you bring James back now? We have deliveries on the way that will take care of his needs, and my people are protected. He needs to be here for this. We’ve learned things and are preparing for Amber.” I don’t waste time explaining everything on the phone. If he wants to know, he’s welcome to stay while we discuss it with James.
“Eli is finishing up the implant now. We’ll have to test it, but as long as it’s positioned correctly, I should be able to have him there in an hour. Is there any reason for me to bring back up? You said your people are protected; does that mean from him, or from Amber? You know new vamps don’t have the best control,” Dec explains.
“Red’s father is Fae. He’s casting a spell that will keep James from feeding on the packs without consent. He won’t be able to hurt anyone here.” I purposefully leave out the part that his pack won’t be getting the mark, because it’s not Dec’s business. We’ll tell James when he gets here, and if he shares with his brother, that’s his decision.
“That’s fantastic. He’s been worried about hurting someone because he can’t control his thirst. I’ll bring some bags with us, even if you have deliveries set up. I’m sure Eli will put a rush on those when he finds out that we’re headed back out there. I’ll text when we’re on our way.” He hangs up the call without another word.
“James should be back within a couple of hours. We need to make sure the packs are protected as soon as possible. I trust him, but Dec said he’s struggling with control. I don’t want him worried about hurting one of the littles,” I bark at Trevan.
I need to run. Red, please stay here. I’ll take Luca or Orym with me, but I need to know that you’re safe.She nods and threads her fingers through Luca’s. I understand her silent signal. I need Orym’s reassurance right now, and I should make sure he’s good with his decision to not have the protective mark. Especially since he was against James being turned in the first place.
I lock eyes with Orym and jerk my head toward the forest. We take off running, waiting until we’re into the trees to shift. I welcome the pain of my body rearranging itself to set my wolf free. Once we’re shifted, my senses are heightened. Smells are more intense, colors are brighter, and I can run faster.
Are you sure you don’t want the protection tattoo? I ask along the bond, glad that we don’t have to shift back to have this conversation.
I’m sure. It took me a bit to understand, but I do now.
GARNET
The forest is quiet now, too quiet. I don’t trust the peace that seems to be surrounding us. When Ry said he needed to run, I bristled. I know he saw, because he immediately offered to take Luca or Orym with him. If they’re not here when James gets back, I’d rather have Luca here than Orym.
I need Luca to prove to James that he supports this. We all need to show James that we love him and trust him. Honestly, I was shocked when Luca agreed with me and said he didn’t need the mark. This situation isn’t easy, but we’ll get through it together. I just have to trust my mates and they have to trust me.
“I need to meditate for a bit. Would you like to join me, or just stand guard like a growly alpha?” I ask Luca with a smirk. I already know his answer, but it’s way more fun to tease him about it.
“Growly alpha, of course. I mean, I do it so well,” he quips back at me. I love that we can be ourselves again. We’ve been through so much lately, that I started to worry I’d lose this.
I fist my hand in his shirt and pull him to me for a hard kiss. His arms wrap around my waist and he drags me against him. I don’t even care this time that my father and Grammy are watching. Luca is my mate, and this is perfectly natural. Life is too short to worry about what other people think.
“Keep telling yourself that you’re not a cuddly teddy bear,” I tease, pulling away from him. I walk over by our picnic table where there’s a small patch of grass under the shade of a tree. I settle in to meditate, and as I close my eyes, I sense Luca standing guard. I know that even if Amber attacks right now, I’ll be safe. Luca won’t let anything happen to me. I have no problem putting my life in his hands.
I focus on my breathing. In, out. Slow and steady. I feel my magic pulse inside of me and wonder if this is something new. Don’t fight your magic, daughter. Let it ebb and flow. It will guide your meditation and protect you from harm while you’re in there.
I should feel annoyed that Trevan invades my meditation, but instead, I’m relieved for the instruction. I let myself relax, doing exactly as he suggests. My magic flows around me inside my mind, a rainbow of colors and textures, swirling and dancing. It’s hypnotizing, and relaxing is easier than I’d anticipated.
For this meditation, I want to commune with the Moon Goddess for guidance. I need to know that I’m following her desires. If I’m somehow meant to be her champion, I must know what she expects. With my magic surrounding me, I reach out to her, asking for anything she can give me. A sign, a conversation, clear instructions of some sort.
The only change I notice is my magic moving faster. There’s no response from the goddess I’m trying to reach. I start to feel disappointed, but I realize that she can’t be everywhere. This must not be the right time to talk to her. Time is the one thing I don’t have, though.
“I know you’re busy, being a goddess and all, but I won’t have another chance to talk to you. Please, just let me know that we’re on the right track. I need to know how far you want me to go to defeat my aunt.” I hate feeling like I’m being ignored, even if I know that I can’t expect a literal goddess to drop everything to talk to me.
I force myself to accept that I’m not going to get an answer. My magic starts to swirl in front of me, creating an oval that looks like the portals Trevan has made for us. A bright white light comes from the center of the oval, and I shield my eyes for a moment.
Someone steps through the opening, glowing in a way that makes it hard to see her face. Her dress is a pale silver that seems to be the source of the glow. The brightness starts to fade a bit, but her head is haloed by a circle of that same bright light. I bow my head in respect, knowing that this is the Moon Goddess.
“My dear child, did you think I would refuse to guide you on this journey?” she asks, reaching out to lift my chin with a finger. I don’t feel her touch, but my eyes meet hers.
“I just figured you were busy and this wasn’t a good time,” I say, feeling the stupidity of the excuse. I should have trusted her to appear when I needed her.
“You must rely on the strength of your mates and your powers to defeat Amber. I understand that she is your aunt, and that makes this difficult for you. There will be no other option but to take her life. If you don’t, she will continue to hunt you. And you will be the only one who can kill her. I fear if you hesitate when the chance arises, all will be lost.” Her words send a shiver up my spine. This is exactly what I feared.
Knowing that I have to kill Amber isn’t a new feeling, but I’d hoped that something would change. “I want to separate her from her magic. But that won’t be enough?”
Sadness fills the goddess’ eyes as she looks at me. “No, child. There is no way to do that without killing her. And if you did somehow find a way, that would leave her the ability to reverse it and take your magic as her own. There is no other way. Amber must die so that you and your mates can protect all the innocents.”
ORYM
I appreciate that Ryland checks on me but wonder why he thinks he can’t trust my decision. I don’t want to fight my alpha on this. We have better things to do than argue about something that’s pointless.
We’ve been gone a while. Should we head back?I ask along the bond. We run along the marked trails, racing between the trees and giving our wolves freedom to do as they like.
Probably. James will be back soon. We should be there to explain things to him.That’s all I need to hear for me to turn around and run back toward our home. I know that once this is all over, we’ll be building a new cabin to give us more room, but I enjoy how crowded our small home is. The closeness of it comforts me.
And there I go, thinking about things that aren’t important in this moment. Right now, we have to be focused on the fight with Amber. Nothing else matters if we can’t defeat her. I know that the guys and I think she has to die, but Garnet doesn’t want to do that. I hope that we can find a solution that will give her peace. I hate thinking that she’ll have to do something that goes against her heart.
Ryland slows as we get close to the cabin, and I follow his lead. I wonder if he’s sensing something that I haven’t yet. When he starts to shift back to human, I do the same. “Is everything okay?” I ask, stopping him from walking away.
“I think so. Red’s not answering on the bond, but that doesn’t mean there’s a problem. I don’t want our wolves to interrupt if she’s meditating. You know how delicate that process is,” he answers. I nod, and we walk through the trees into the clearing.
Sure enough, Garnet is sitting on the ground under a tree with her eyes closed and her magic swirling around her. Luca watches with wide eyes and a goofy grin. I can’t help thinking that’s the way all four of us look at her when she doesn’t know.
Ryland and I walk quietly over and stand next to him. She’s been doing this since you guys left. She doesn’t seem upset anymore, so I haven’t bothered her. Concern washes over me for a moment at his mention of her being upset. What could have upset her while she’s meditating?
I’ll stay here to help guard her, if you want to talk to Trevan about the spell.I make the offer and Ryland nods before walking away. I know he’s concerned about protecting the innocent people in our territory. Even if we trust James, this spell will protect them from any vampire feeding without permission. That’s a huge advantage, when we may end up fighting vamps that are being controlled by Amber.
My heart aches knowing that we aren’t done with this fight yet. I want to move on with our happily ever after.
JAMES
I wake from the implant surgery feeling famished. “Why am I so thirsty?” I ask Eli as he removes the IV from my arm.
“Because you’re a new vamp, and your body is getting used to the craving. You’ll get the hang of it. Trust yourself,” he says. I wonder if he means it, since they’ve kept Delilah away from me the whole time I’ve been here. If there was nothing to worry about, wouldn’t she be safe with me?
“So, what now?”
“Well, now we take you home. We tested the UV implant while you were knocked out, and it works perfectly.”
“Eli, I can’t go home yet. I have no control over these cravings,” I argue, grabbing his arm and forcing him to look at me.
“You’ll be fine. The Fae has taken steps to protect anyone you might hurt. And my guys are delivering your supplies right now. By the time we get there, you’ll be all set up. If you can’t trust yourself, then trust me.” I know that my brother trusts this vampire with his life, and I should too. I’m just not sure that they understand how reckless I feel right now.
Within minutes, Dec and I are in the SUV and heading back to the forest. I feel like I’m heading toward my doom. I appreciate their faith in me, but I’m terrified that I’m about to do something I’ll spend an eternity regretting.
As we walk through the forest toward the cabin, I see wolf shifters watching us. They don’t look scared, and I realize I’m not feeling the urge to attack any of them. This is strange, since I’ve felt that urge continuously since I woke as a vamp.
“What did Trevan do?” I ask, following my brother toward my home.
“I’m not sure. Why?” he replies, turning to look at me. “Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m good. It’s just strange how none of these people smell the way they did last night.” The revelation feels strange to say, considering how badly I wanted to drain them all a mere twelve hours ago.
“They said there was nothing to worry about. I’m glad they were right,” he says. We continue through the paths until we reach the clearing where Ryland’s cabin stands. I feel a tug inside of me and wonder what that’s all about.
Since I haven’t had the urge to kill anyone, I step into the clearing to find everyone waiting for me. It feels strange to be the center of attention. Almost as if they’re waiting to see what I’ll do, like I’m an experiment. My eyes are instantly drawn to Garnet’s, and I freeze.
All I want is to go to her, but I’m scared. What if I hurt her? I can’t take that chance. I’ll keep myself away from all of them as much as I can. “Eli’s men delivered a new fridge and a few days’ supply of blood for you,” she says.
GARNET
I hate how much distance is between us right now, but I sense his hesitation. I hold myself back for a moment, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.
“That’s great. Thank you.” His response is polite and reserved. It almost feels like when our bond was damaged.
“Fuck it,” I mutter and race toward him, not giving James a chance to do anything but catch me when I jump into his arms. I kiss him deeply, my tongue delving into his mouth and exploring. I gasp when it scrapes along his new fangs, but not from fear. I’m excited for him to bite me, even if I won’t admit that to anyone.
His arms tighten around me, and I hum in response. It’s only been a day, but I missed him. I ease back from the kiss and look at him. I can’t explain why, but he looks a little different. It’s like his features are sharper somehow.
“I know, it’s weird. But I’m mostly still me,” he whispers, hugging me tightly to him and pressing his nose against my neck. “Why do you still smell as amazing as you did yesterday, but no one else does?”
“Because I don’t need a spell to protect me from you,” I answer. “None of our family took it. We trust you. You won’t hurt us.”
His arms release me as if I’ve burned him and he jumps backward ten feet before I fall on my ass. “Fuck, James, what was that?” Ry steps forward and helps me up while staring at my new vampire mate.
“I thought everyone was protected from me,” he responds.
“Everyone who needs to be is,” Ry answers. “We don’t need it, because you won’t hurt us. The four of us are the only ones not covered by the spell. Because we don’t need it.”
I can feel the confidence Ry is exuding, as well as James’ fear. “I know you’re worried about it. But honestly, James, you don’t have to be. We trust you and we know that you’d never hurt us.” I wish he could believe my words, even though I understand why he can’t.
The tears in his eyes nearly break my heart. I want to hold him and reassure him, but every time I step closer, he backs away. I don’t know what we can do to convince him that it’s safe for him to be here. He takes a deep breath, then steps closer. “I’m terrified that I’ll hurt one of you, or worse. But I’ll try. I need your assurance that you’ll stop me if I do something to harm you.”
“We’ll find a way to restrain you,” Ry says calmly. “But we won’t need to.”
Luca and Orym move closer now, and the four of us approach James. He stands still, hesitating, processing, waiting to see what happens next.
“See? This isn’t so bad, is it?” Orym asks.
“I’m actually feeling calmer with the four of you so close. I’d expected the thirst to take over. What is going on?” James is as confused as the rest of us. We all look at Dec.
“It’s part of the mate bond. You’ll keep him centered and grounded. I would think it should work the same way with your magic. The five mates together will be stronger than on their own,” he explains.
That explains a lot of things that both Trevan and the Moon Goddess have said. The five of us need to stick together. And I’m certain we can do that. For the first time in a while, I finally feel like we could defeat Amber and save everyone.
Confidence feels good, and I’m determined to hold onto this feeling for as long as I can. Ry clears his throat, though, and I know that it’s time to tell James what he’s missed.
“What is it?” James asks, realizing that the mood just changed.
“Those symbols Red drew on the wall before?” Ry starts, and James nods. “Those were for protection. She drew them again today, but Trevan was here, and he explained that they’re Fae magic. We have to leave them up, and the five of us need to be here for the protection to work.”
“Oh. Wow, that’s crazy. How did you discover the symbols? I thought you didn’t know you were half Fae until after you’d been drawing those for a while.” James’ statement and question draw me back into the conversation.
“The Fae elders were trying to communicate with me, but I didn’t realize it until last night. I actually talked to them. They didn’t mention the symbols, but if my father says that’s what they are, then I believe him,” I explain.
“So, that’s just another piece of the puzzle falling into place. I’m realizing that you were right when you said we each have something to offer and a part to play in this. And I’m sorry it took me so long,” James says, pulling me back into his arms.
I sigh against his chest and let him hold me for a minute. “As much as I want to stay here with you guys like this all day, we have a lot to do. And we’re running out of time. The Wolf Moon is tomorrow.”
I watch their faces as they process what I’ve just said. We all knew it was close, but I’m not sure anyone was aware of just how close. I’m ready to get this over with, and can’t wait to face off with Amber, now that I’ve spoken with the Moon Goddess and have my mates with me.
Everything is falling into place, and I’m not afraid anymore. Even knowing that I’ll have to kill Amber, I’m ready to do what I have to. There are innocent lives on the line, and they’re depending on us to save them. I won’t let them down. We will win this and save as many lives as we can in the process.