Chapter 16
Zoey
Spending another two days stuck in the lodge with Monte was a lot of fun. It surprised me just how much I enjoyed talking to him. We still kissed and made out a little. He held my hand as we sat by the fire talking to pass much of the time. And he held me as we slept each night.
But he refused to pressure me for any more than that.
And honestly, he shut me down every time I’d tried.
My body was one giant ball of needy nerves, but I understood where he was coming from.
He was so sure about us, and I was terrified just thinking of forever.
Because that’s what we were tiptoeing around about—forever.
It was a lot to think about and logically I knew that adding sex in the mix would only cloud my judgement further. But despite our hands-off policy at the moment, I could still feel the bond between us growing and that worried me too.
At what point do we cross that point of no return?
Mine, my wolf growled at my thoughts.
I sighed. If I were being honest with myself, I hit that point two days ago when he’d told me he was all in and put the ball in my court.
My skin was itching to go for a run. I knew it was the first thing I’d do when I got home.
We’d gotten word yesterday that the last of the fans and paparazzi had checked out and moved on yesterday, but we gave it another twenty-four hours just to be safe. That’s what I’d told Monte at least. Really, I just wanted a little more time like this before facing the real world.
“Have everything?” he asked.
I nodded.
We took a back elevator down to the first floor where Karla had our cars waiting. I hated that we had two vehicles because it meant being separated from him for the drive back. And I wasn’t ready to be alone with my thoughts or face the feelings I had for him.
“Can you believe that just one week ago I was arguing with Denny about going to a stupid party at Theta?”
I groaned and rolled my eyes. “And I was running around like a madwoman trying to make sure it was all going to be perfect. I had no idea you would be sabotaging my whole life just a few hours later.”
“Me? You can’t blame that on me. If it hadn’t been for Denny, I would never have showed up at that party. And if the rest of our time at the ARC is any indication, then we probably never would have crossed paths. So I vote to blame him.”
I beamed up at him. “Okay. I’ll be sure to tell him thanks the next time I see him.”
Monte grinned. It was so warm and real, unlike so much of my life.
He leaned in and kissed me.
“You take the lead. I’ll be right behind you. Just drive carefully.”
“I always do.”
It was weird how much I disliked being alone in the car on the drive back to school. I’d never minded being by myself. In fact, I usually preferred my own company to that of others. But not this time. And knowing Monte was just behind me wasn’t helping.
We had only left the lodge twenty or so minutes before my phone rang.
I glanced at my dash to see who it was . . . Monte.
My heart swelled and I quickly answered it.
“Miss me already?”
“God, yes. Even seeing you right in front of me isn’t helping. It’s too far away.”
I giggled. “I know what you mean.” And I did, too.
“Next time we ride together,” he said, definitively.
“Next time I run away from you and you run away from me to try and figure things out we’ll ride together?”
“Exactly.”
I laughed and settled into the drive ahead. He told me crazy stories about his childhood and his friends. They were still thick as thieves from the sounds of it. And I was surprised to find I knew almost all his Pack friends that were at the ARC with him.
“It’s crazy to think of our next stage in life. I already know Sadie won’t be coming home. She’ll be moving to Westin Pack.”
“That’s impressive.”
“Well, Pete’s already working for Westin Foundation so it makes sense.
Plus, sophomore year they moved there and loved it.
Pete had his job, and Sadie attended a human college not far from there.
Her mother was human and she’d gone there, but the nostalgia had worn off and when Pete had the option to pursue his master’s at the ARC, they’d both come back.
They’ll be graduating together in the spring.
Boy had Remy been relieved to have her close again.
While I know it is definitely not the same because Sadie is not his true mate, I do kind of understand how he felt with her away. ”
“Because me being twenty yards away is a close comparison to her being hours away in a different town?”
“Exactly. I mean toss in the whole true mate hormones and shit and it’s practically the same.”
The rest of the drive passed quickly as he shared more about them and I told him all about my Pack and the friends I’d grown up with, too.
Before we knew it, I was passing through the iron gate of Archibald Reynolds campus.
Home . . . at least for a few more months.
We hadn’t ventured into next stage plans or anything.
I knew Monte was waiting for me to make some decisions before he hit me with that sort of stuff.
And I wanted to tell him I was all in too, but it scared the shit out of me.
Every time I opened my mouth to say the words, nothing came out.
I just froze. I suspected he knew it too.
When I pulled up into the parking lot and turned left to park as close to my room as possible, I assumed he’d follow. Instead, he stayed straight and then turned right so he would be closer to Delta Omega Gamma. It made sense, so why did it leave an empty feeling in my chest.
“Welcome home, Zoey,” he said.
“You too. I wonder how many people recognized you in that teaser video?”
“Maybe. It’s hard to say. I’m sure the doghouse noticed. But then they maxed out my voicemail box days ago, and I purposefully have not looked at texts.”
“For the first time in forever, I’ve barely even glanced at my phone. I think it was dead most of the week and I haven’t checked it today because I’ve been talking to you the whole drive.”
My mind was already whirling through the massive to-do list I needed to make after taking a week off. Ugh! I dreaded it. That terrified me. I always loved work, but the thought of it now almost sickened me.
“It’s weird. I somehow know you’re freaking out right now. It’s like I can feel it,” Monte said.
“But you’re on the other side of the parking lot, nowhere near me.”
How could that be possible?
“I know, but am I right?”
“Yeah, but—shit! Monte, this isn’t good. Is our bond really getting that strong?”
“Afraid so, doll. Is that what’s freaking you out?”
I could feel him too. He was nervous as he awaited my response.
“No, but it might be now.”
He chuckled. “Do you want me to come and walk you home?”
“I’m okay.”
“Okay. Let me know if you need anything. Doesn’t matter the time. I won’t be sleeping anyway.”
“Why not? After that drive I’m going to sleep like a baby.”
“Good. Get some sleep for the both of us.”
“But why aren’t you going to sleep?”
“I’m sure I’ll manage,” he lied. And I knew he was lying.
What was going on?
I parked, got my stuff out and walked to the house. A part of me wanted to sneak in through my bedroom window and not deal with anyone, but I knew that was only going to prolong the inevitable.
Instead, I decided to face it like a woman. I walked right through the front door . . . and no one was there.
“Huh.”
I wandered around the house, but no one was home.
There was never a time when no one was home.
Deciding there must be a big party somewhere or something, I went to my room, unpacked, took a shower, and crawled into bed.
Expecting to fall fast asleep, I instead just laid there staring at the ceiling.
Sleep eluded me.
My bed was usually my favorite thing about coming back from a trip, but this time it felt cold, empty, and uninviting.
Because Monte’s not here.
That truth hit me hard. I’d gotten used to him snuggling me at night. He made me feel warm and safe. And maybe I’d become a little addicted to that—to him.
I was already in my pajamas, but it was dark outside. Maybe I could make it over to Monte’s window and sneak inside. I was pretty certain he wouldn’t mind one bit. So why was I so nervous just thinking about it?
Deciding to be brave and throw caution to the wind, I grabbed my phone and headed back out, PJs and all.
“Zoey, is that you?” Chloe asked.
“Yeah, I’m back.”
She hugged me. “How was your trip?”
“Um, good. Got tied up longer than I expected. Paparazzi found me.”
“Oh. I assumed it was because of Monte.”
“Monte?” I gulped.
“The allusive doghouse brother. You know the one. The two of you are the talk of campus.”
I groaned. “Everyone saw that teaser?”
“Oh yeah. It was hot with a capital H.”
“It was just a teaser. He’s an instructor at the lodge I was at.”
She gave me a knowing look. “Babe, that was a genuine smile you were flashing at him. I’ve only seen it a few times and I’m your favorite sister.”
“Favorite might be an exaggeration.”
She nudged me and grinned. “He’s cute.”
“I may have noticed.”
“He’s been missing too, and his brothers haven’t heard a peep from him.”
I groaned again. “He’s back, too.”
“I figured. So again, how was your trip, really?”
“Wipe that smile off your face. It’s not what you’re thinking. Nothing happened.”
That wasn’t entirely true, but not a lie based on her standards either. Physically, aside from kissing, nothing had happened. Yet, I craved his physical touch right now.
“Where is everyone?”
“The doghouse. They’re throwing a big party tonight. It’s the place to be, as always.”
“So why aren’t you there?”
She shrugged. “I was. I know this is going to sound insane, but I’m kind of tired of all the parties. A quiet night in just hanging out with you and catching up sounds perfect.”
I cringed, and I knew the second she saw it.
“Sorry. You were on your way out, huh?”
“No, of course not,” I lied.
My phone dinged with an incoming text. I grinned when I saw it.
MONTE: Are you okay?
ME: Everything’s fine. Stop worrying.
MONTE: Can’t help it. This is weird.
ME: Totally weird.
“Who are you texting? I’ve never seen that look on your face before.”
I sighed and put my phone away. “It’s no one.”
“Liar. There used to be a time we told each other everything. What happened to us?”
There had never been a time I told her everything, but we had been a lot closer than lately.
“I don’t know. I think with all the fame I started pulling away from everyone. It’s nothing personal. It’s just a lot to deal with.”
“Which is when you should be leaning on your friends the most.”
“Sorry, Chloe. I guess I never really thought about it like that.”
She shrugged. “Probably easier said than done. I know a lot of people were jealous of you when things took off, but not me. I see the pressure you’re under and the constant need to perform.
It sucks. I think that’s why that teaser video hit so hard.
You weren’t pretending to be Zoey Unboxed.
You were just Zoey Rey, and I miss her.”
I hugged my sorority sister. “I miss her sometimes too,” I confessed.
“But that’s not who I am on social media.
I got really upset when I saw that teaser.
Bryan didn’t even blur the background, he just threw it out there raw without my opinion.
People were able to find the place really fast and the lodge got swarmed.
They camped out for four days waiting to catch a glimpse of me. ”
“You mean us, right? Because your followers cannot wait to see more of Monte. It’s funny, I remember him freshman and early sophomore year. He was always tagging along with Remy and the guys. He’s cute.”
He was way more than cute, but I didn’t say that and let her continue her ramble.
“Tia had the biggest crush on him, and he wouldn’t give her the time of day.”
I bit back a growl, hating hearing any other woman’s name with his.
“And then he just sort of faded into the background. I’m not even sure why.
Last year I only saw him at D.O.G. parties.
Oh, and English. We had Briggs together.
Oh wait. Are you still having trouble with her?
Maybe Monte can help. He was a total teacher’s pet.
Could be worth a try. Maybe it’ll get you on her good side. ”
“Why do you think he’d help me like that?”
She gave me a knowing look. “Because I’ve never seen you look at any guy the way you looked at him in that video.”
I groaned. “I hate that video. I’m going to murder Bryan for it the next time I see him.”
My phone dinged again, but this time it was an email confirming the link to the video shoot. It was like he knew I was cursing his name or something.
“Definitely not Monte. Must be Bryan. Back to work time?”
I looked up at her and shook my head. “It is, but I think it can wait another day.”
She lit up. And a part of me felt bad for having shut out so many people in my life when my popularity spiked, especially those that had been my friends all along.
I had my reasons for it, and there had been a lot of jealousy and mean things said back then, but Chloe hadn’t been one of them as far as I knew.
Maybe it was time to stop lumping everyone together and give people the benefit of the doubt.
We hung out in our pajamas just talking, laughing, and catching up for much of the night. It was fun. I’d needed that more than I ever imagined. But once she called it a night and went to bed, I was left sitting there all alone and then remembered why I’d left my room in the first place—Monte.