Chapter Seven
Janelle
I t’s late when I finally manage to get the kids to bed. Abel, always the protector, asking me a dozen questions about the security around the house. Dillion, who is less concerned with the details, simply wanted to know if Wolf would be stopping by often. Chloe, too young to understand the full gravity of the situation, has been content with a simple assurance that "Wolf is watching over us."
Alone in the quiet of my kitchen, I replay my earlier conversation with Wolf. Her presence brings a mix sense of relief and anxiety. Relief because I know her capabilities and trust her implicitly, anxiety from the looming threat that make such protection necessary. And then there is something else, a fluttering in my chest whenever she looks at me a certain way. A feeling that’s so foreign to me but welcomed.
I pour myself a glass of wine and sit at the kitchen table, my mind wandering back to when I first met Wolf. She has come into my life during a time of turmoil, wearing her strength-like armor but carrying a gentleness in her eyes that contradicts her tough exterior. This complexity draws me to her, the silent understanding that she has faced her share of battles. The phone on the counter buzzes, snapping me out of my reverie. It’s a text.
WOLF: Everything is quiet outside. Settle in and try to get some rest. I'll be around if you need anything.
I smile, my fingers hovering over the keyboard as I type out a quick response.
ME: Thank you, Wolf. Goodnight, and stay safe.
I place the phone down and stare out the window into the neighborhood's darkness. It’s a clear night, the crescent moon in the pitch-black sky. It’s the kind of night that’s perfect for sitting on the porch and listening to the quiet of the world settling down if circumstances were different.
Instead, I wish that Wolf could be here, not just as a guardian but as someone to share the silence with. The warmth in her words through that simple text message feels like a small beacon in the dark, comforting yet highlighting how much I want her close.
The wine swirls in my glass as I take another sip, letting the rich flavor settle my nerves. I glanced at the clock; it was getting late, but sleep felt distant. My mind is too wired, filled with what-ifs and plans for keeping my family safe.
A soft noise from upstairs catches my attention, and I stand up quickly, heart pounding with a mix of fear and readiness. But then I hear a small giggle; Chloe probably snuck out of bed again, looking for one last adventure before sleep claims her. I shake my head with a soft chuckle and make my way upstairs.
As I tiptoe into Chloe’s room, I find her sitting in bed, clutching her teddy bear and grinning sheepishly. "Mommy can't sleep," she whispers, her small voice filled with mischief and innocence.
I smile, moving to sit beside her on the bed. "It’s late, sweetie. You need your rest," I whisper back, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she leans into my body.
Standing, I help her in bed, and as I get her tucked in, smoothing back her hair, Chloe looks up at me with sleepy eyes. "Will Wolf keep the bad dreams away, too?" she whispers.
I smiled, brushing a kiss on her forehead. "Yes, baby, Wolf will also keep the bad dreams away."
Back downstairs, I settle on the couch with my wine, thinking about how much my life has changed. From thinking my soon-to-be ex-husband is one thing and turns out he is something else to meeting the Wild Jesters, especially Wolf. Pausing for a moment, not only have my physical surroundings changed, but my emotions are also in turmoil. Am I developing feelings for Wolf? It’s a question that keep nudging me, persistent and unnerving. She’s strong and protective, yes, but also surprisingly gentle, the exact opposite of everything I've known before.
The house is quiet now, with only the occasional creaks and whispers of a settling building. I wrap a blanket around myself, feeling oddly exposed despite being alone. It’s funny how the mind plays tricks on you at night; every shadow seems to hold a threat.
I must have dozed off because the next thing I know, there’s a gentle knocking on the front door. Startled, I glance at the clock; it’s past midnight. Heart racing, I grab the baseball bat I keep by the couch and creep toward the door. I pray quickly before peeking through the peephole, my breath caught in relief. It was Wolf, standing there with a small but reassuring smile.
I open the door, trying to appear composed despite the adrenaline coursing. "Wolf, is everything okay?"
She shrugs, eyes scanning the quiet street behind her before returning to meet mine. "Couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Wanted to make sure everything was okay here."
I let out a nervous laugh, feeling both grateful and slightly embarrassed by my anxiety. "I must look like a mess."
Wolf steps inside, her presence filling the small entryway. "You look just fine, Janelle. Better safe than sorry, right?"
As I nod, our eyes lock for a moment longer than necessary, and the air between us charged with an unspoken understanding. She’s here because she cares, not just out of duty.
"Thank you," I say quietly, my voice thick with emotion.
She dips her head and glances around. "Everyone asleep?"
"Yes," I confirm, leading her into the kitchen, where I offer her a cup of coffee, which she accepts gratefully.
As we sit at the kitchen table, the earlier tension begins to ebb away, replaced by a comfortable silence that speaks volumes of our developing friendship.
Wolf sips her coffee, then sets the cup down with a gentle clink. "You know, Janelle, it's not just about the job for me," she begins, her voice low and earnest. "I care about what happens to you and your kids."
There’s more that she wants to say or maybe that’s just my thoughts projecting onto the situation. "I... I appreciate that, Wolf. It means a lot to us."
She smiles a little pink coloring her cheeks, but the seriousness in her eyes make the smile seem more poignant. "Good. That's good."
Outside, the wind picks up, shivering through the trees and against the house. It seems like nature itself is waiting for our conversation to unfold.
The silence stretches on for a moment before I gather my courage. "Wolf, can I ask you something personal?"
"Of course," she replies, her gaze steady.
"It's just... well, how do you manage it?" I ask, swirling the wine in my glass nervously. "The danger of your job, the uncertainty—how do you keep from getting overwhelmed?"
Wolf leans back in her chair, considering the question. "Honestly, it's not easy. I try to find something to anchor myself to that keeps me grounded when everything else is flying off the handle."
Her eyes drift to the window, watching the leaves flutter wildly in the wind. "For me, it's remembering why I joined the Wild Jesters in the first place. It's about more than just the adrenaline or the camaraderie; it's about making a difference, even if it’s just one person at a time. They're not just a crew; they're family."
She turns back to me, her expression softening. "And recently, it’s also been about coming here, knowing I might make things a little better for you and your kids."
My heart skips a beat at her words. It’s clear now; the connection isn't just in my head. Wolf cares genuinely and sincerely. "That means everything to us," I manage to say, my voice barely above a whisper.
Wolf bobs her, her gaze lingering on mine before she looks away, perhaps sensing the shift between us. "Anyway, that's how I cope. Finding meaning in the madness."
The room is silent again as we both contemplate her words. Finally, she stands, stretching slightly. "I should probably check around the house one last time before I head out," she speaks matter-of-factly.
I nod, grateful for her protective instincts yet feeling reluctant about her leaving. "Thank you, Wolf. Really."
She smiles and move toward the door, pulling on her jacket. I follow her, watching as she checks each lock with meticulous care.
Outside, the moon hangs low in the sky, casting long shadows across the yard. Wolf pauses at the edge of the porch, looking back toward me. "Keep your phone close, Janelle. Call me if anything, even just a strange noise."
I agree, feeling a mix of safety and sorrow as she climbs onto her motorcycle. The engine roars to life under her skilled hands, and for a moment, the night seemed to pulse with its beat.
As she pulls away, the sound fading into the distance, I feel an unexpected emptiness. It’s silly. Wolf is just doing her job, but it has become more than that somewhere along the line.
Shivering slightly in the cool night air, I lock the door behind me and lean against it. The house felt different now—safer but also lonelier.
I can no longer deny it; my feelings for Wolf were complicated. Is it just gratitude? Admiration? Or something more profound I was afraid to name?
Returning to the living room, I catch my reflection in the hallway mirror. The look in my eyes startle me—there is a depth of emotion there that I haven't allowed myself to acknowledge until now. Shaking off a lingering chill, I grab another blanket from the closet and wrap it around myself, trying to warm up physically and emotionally.
Sitting back on the couch, I couldn't stop replaying our conversation. Wolf's words echo in my mind: "Finding meaning in the madness." She did that; I may need to start doing that, too. I need to find my anchors and reasons to keep moving forward despite the chaos of my past and the uncertainty of my future.