Chapter Eighteen
Wolf
M y heart races through dinner because the more time I spend with Janelle, the more I know she’s my future. Dinner has been great, and the conversation is flowing. There has been no lull since we initially laughed about our nervousness. I love hearing about the kids, her dreams, and talking about my dad. Janelle knows about my military days and my PTSD. She’s gentle about it and asks questions to understand how my mind works.
I paid for dinner and held my hand to her and we left the restaurant hand in hand. “Let’s walk before we head home.” The city is silent as we walk downtown, even with people walking around us and cars driving by.
“This city is beautiful during Christmas. The kids love the lights and all of the fun activities.”
“We always do some fun activities as a club to raise awareness of what we do. It’s always a fun time.” There’s a bookshop where we stop because we notice a few books the kids would like. As we walk through the aisles together, we pick up some books to read for Chloe at bedtime, adventure books for Abel, and history books for Dillon. Janelle and I browse some books for ourselves as well. We read the back of the books; some are quite steamy. I lean into her, “Maybe we can reenact some of the scenes in the books.” Janelle does something that completely shocks me; she turns to face me and kisses me right there in the romance aisle. It’s a deep and heated kiss. “We need to buy these and get home. Right now.” I grab her hand, dragging her toward the register and making Janelle laugh. I am on high alert and must feel Janelle’s body near me. I need to taste her, feeling her writhing under me.
The ride back to Janelle’s place on the bike seems to take forever. The way her body pressed against mine, her arms squeezing my waist, and feeling her chest rise and fall against my back has me very aware of Janelle. Pulling into the driveway, I shut off the bike and helped Janelle off the bike. We grab the books and walk up the sidewalk to the house.
Once we’re inside, we remove our shoes by the door. I grab her hand, taking her to the couch. We sit close, and I place her hair behind her ear. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” Her cheeks pink with my compliment. I lean in to kiss her, and she meets me halfway. My hand wraps around the back of her neck pulling me closer to me if that is even possible. The little moans she makes as I deepen the kiss has me squeezing my thighs. I want this woman so fucking bad.
Her hands find their way to my jacket, tugging it off my shoulders with a sense of urgency that makes my pulse race even more. I let it fall to the floor without a second thought. My fingers thread through her hair, tilting her head so I can deepen the kiss. She tastes like wine and something sweeter—something distinctly Janelle.
“Are you sure?” I ask breathlessly when we finally break apart for air. My forehead rests against hers, and I’m doing everything I can to keep myself from diving back in. “I don’t want to rush you.”
She cups my face, her eyes searching mine with an intensity that makes my chest tighten. “Onyx,” she says softly, her voice trembling just enough to make me pause. “I’ve never been surer of anything.”
That’s all the confirmation I need.
I stand, pulling her up with me as we make our way down the hallway toward her bedroom. The house is quiet, the faint creak of the floorboards beneath our footsteps the only sound accompanying us. I can feel her fingers gripping mine tightly, a mixture of anticipation and trust in her touch. My heartbeat pounds louder with every step, echoing in my ears like a drum.
When we reach the bedroom door, she hesitates for just a moment before pushing it open, revealing a warm and inviting space that feels distinctly hers. There are small touches everywhere—photos of the kids on the dresser, a soft blanket draped over the bedframe, and a faint scent of lavender lingering in the air.
I pause at the threshold, suddenly overwhelmed by how intimate this moment feels. It’s not just the physical pull between us; it’s everything—the laughter we’ve shared, the trust we’ve built, and the quiet strength she’s shown me time and time again. I realize that being here with her means more than I ever thought it could.
Janelle turns to face me, her lips curving into a reassuring smile that makes my knees feel unsteady. “You okay, Onyx?” she asks, her voice carrying a playful lilt that contrasts the tenderness in her eyes.
I nod, swallowing hard as I step into the room. “Yeah,” I manage to say, though my voice comes out a little rough. “I just—this feels big, you know?”
Her smile widens, and she takes my hands in hers, guiding me further inside until we’re standing at the foot of the bed. “It is big. But it’s also just us,” she says softly. “And I trust you.”
Those three words do something to me—like they’ve unlocked a part of my heart I didn’t even realize I’d closed off. My fingers tighten around hers as I take a deep breath and let myself sink into the moment.
“Okay,” I whisper back. “Just us.”
She steps closer, her hands sliding up to rest on my shoulders as she leans in. She steps closer, her hands sliding up to rest on my shoulders as she leans in for another kiss. This one is softer, slower—like she’s savoring every second of it. My hands find her waist, pulling her flush against me, and I can feel the steady thrum of her heartbeat against my chest. It’s grounding in a way I didn’t expect, calming the storm of emotions swirling inside me.
Her fingers trail from my shoulders down to the hem of my shirt, hesitating there for just a moment. When she looks up at me, her eyes searching mine for permission, I nod. She lifts it over my head and lets it fall to the floor. The cool air hits my skin, but all I can focus on is the warmth of her touch as her hands explore the scars on my back.
She presses a kiss to one of them—a small gesture that makes my throat tighten and my eyes sting. I want to tell her how much that means to me, how much she means to me, but I can’t seem to find the words. “You’re incredible,” she whispers, her lips brushing against my skin as she speaks. “Every part of you, Onyx. Every scar, every story… it’s all a part of who you are, and I wouldn’t want you any other way.”
Her words hit like a thunderclap in my chest. I’ve heard variations of that before—people trying to tell me my scars don’t define me, that they’re just marks on the surface. But with Janelle, it feels different. It feels real. She isn’t dismissing them; she’s accepting them as part of me.
I grip her waist tighter, pulling her closer until there’s no space left between us. My lips find hers again, this time with more urgency, more need. The heat building between us is undeniable, but there’s also this undercurrent of something softer—a vulnerability we’re both sharing in this moment.
“Janelle,” I murmur against her lips as my hands trail up her sides, I pull back just enough to look at her, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. “You’re the incredible one,” I say, my voice thick with emotion. “You’ve been through so much, Janelle. And you’re still here. Still standing.”
She shakes her head with a small laugh, her fingers tracing idle patterns on my arm. “We’re not doing the pain Olympics tonight, Onyx,” she teases, though there’s no bite in her tone. “This is about us. Not what broke us, but what’s building us.”
I blink at her words, stunned by their weight and truth. She has this way, this maddeningly beautiful way, of cutting right to the core of things, stripping away all the noise and leaving nothing but clarity in her wake. It’s humbling. And it’s terrifying. But it’s also why I’m here, why I can’t pull away from her even if I tried.
“You’re right,” I say, my voice steadier now, though my heart is still doing somersaults in my chest. “This is about us.”
Her smile softens, and she steps back just enough to tug me toward the bed. I let her guide me, the trust between us an unspoken thread pulling tighter with each passing moment. As we sink onto the mattress together, the world outside feels like it’s melting away. It’s just her and me, wrapped up in something that feels bigger than either of us but grounded in this small, sacred space we’ve created.
The way she touches me—gentle yet purposeful—feels like a discovery. Her hands map out every inch of me like she’s memorizing every detail, every curve, every scar. It’s almost too much, the way she looks at me like I’m the only thing in the universe worth noticing. My breath catches in my throat as she presses her lips to my collarbone, then to the hollow of my neck. I feel like I’m unraveling, piece by piece, under her touch.
“Janelle,” I whisper her name like a prayer, my hands sliding up her back to pull her closer. “You’re killing me here.”
She chuckles softly against my skin, her breath warm and teasing. “Good,” she murmurs, nipping lightly at my shoulder. “Because you’re driving me crazy too.”
I can’t help but laugh, the sound breaking through the intensity of the moment like a ray of sunshine. “We’re quite the pair,” I say, my voice low but filled with affection. “A bounty hunter and a mom of three. Who would’ve thought?”
She stands before me, and I crouch down to gently nip at the delicate curve of her neck. My lips trail down her skin, feeling her pulse quicken beneath them. I let my hands explore her, too, tracing over the curves and planes of her body with a reverence I didn’t know I was capable of. Every soft gasp, every quiet moan from her lips spurs me on, urging me to show her just how much I want her—how much I care for her.
“Onyx,” she whispers my name like it’s a prayer, her fingers tangling in my hair as she pulls me closer. The sound of it sends a shiver down my spine, and I can’t help the small smile that tugs at my lips.
“Yeah?” I murmur against the hollow of her throat, pressing a kiss there before looking up to meet her gaze. Her eyes are dark and full of something that makes my stomach flip—desire mixed with trust, with love.
“Don’t stop,” she says softly but firmly, her voice carrying a weight that makes my chest tighten in the best way possible. I nod, my lips brushing against her skin again as I follow her silent command, letting her guide me as much as I’m guiding myself. Every touch, every kiss feels like a promise I’m making, and keeping, to her. The world outside fades into nothingness as we lose ourselves in the connection between us. Each kiss, each touch is a conversation, saying all the things we don’t have words for yet. Her breath hitches as my lips graze her shoulder, and I pause, letting the moment linger.
“You okay?” I ask softly, pulling back just enough to search her face.
Her lips curve into a smile that’s equal parts sweet and mischievous. “Better than okay,” she whispers. “But you really don’t have to keep asking.”
I chuckle, feeling a little sheepish. “Sorry. Old habit.”
She shakes her head, her fingers brushing my cheek. “Don’t apologize. I like it. Makes me feel… cared for.”
I grin at that, leaning into her touch. “Well, get used to it,” I say, my voice low but steady. “Because that’s not changing anytime soon.”
I gently take the bottom of her shirt and look for permission from her in the same way she had done with me. Her nod is subtle but sure, and I carefully lift the fabric over her head, letting it join mine on the floor. My breath catches as I take her in—her strength, her softness, every inch of her that tells a story I want to learn by heart.
“God, Janelle,” I murmur, unable to stop myself. “You’re beautiful.” I softly press my lips against the curve of her breast, savoring its warmth and softness beneath my touch.
Her breath hitches, but she doesn't pull away. Instead, her hands find their way to my face, cradling it as if I’m something fragile, something precious. I don’t think I’ve ever been looked at like this before—like I’m not just wanted but needed. It’s overwhelming and grounding all at once.
I slowly trail my lips to her other breast, savoring the taste of her skin as I slip my tongue out to caress it before pulling back just slightly, my breath mingling with hers as I look up at her face. Her eyes are half-closed, her lips parted in a way that makes my heart stutter. She’s breathtaking like this—completely unguarded and trusting me with every part of her.
“Janelle,” I whisper, my voice thick with emotion. “You’re everything.”
She lets out a shaky laugh, her fingers sliding through my hair and tugging gently. “You keep saying things like that, and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with myself,” she murmurs, but there’s no hesitation in her touch, no doubt in the way she holds me close.
“Just let me love you,” I reply softly, the words leaving my lips before I even realize I’ve said them. And oh, how true they feel. They hang in the air between us for a moment, heavy and raw, before she leans down and captures my mouth in a kiss that steals my breath away. It’s not hurried or frenzied—it’s deliberate and filled with meaning, like she’s answering me without needing to say a word. Her lips move against mine, soft and sure, and I lose myself in the way she feels, the way she tastes.
I pull her closer, my arms wrapping around her waist as if I can keep this moment frozen in time. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” I murmur against her lips, the words tumbling out before I can stop them.
She pulls back just slightly, her eyes locking onto mine with an intensity that makes my chest tighten. Looking into my eyes, "Let's not speak anymore. I want you to show you how much you mean to me." She gently brushed his lips against mine, igniting a fire within me. "I want to make love to you until the stars fade from the sky."
My hands find their way to her hips, pulling her closer until there’s not an inch of space left between us. Her words echo in my mind, and all I can think about is making her feel safe, cherished, adored.
Slowly, I lay her back onto the bed, my lips never straying far from hers. The way she responds to me—her soft sighs, the way her body arches into mine—it’s like a melody only we know the lyrics to. I let myself get lost in it, in her, because right now, nothing else matters.
I sit up and trail my fingers down her stomach to the button on her pants. Her breath catches as my fingers linger there, and she gazes up at me, her eyes searching mine. I pause, letting the moment stretch, giving her the chance to say no, to stop this if she wants to. But instead, she reaches down, her hand covering mine, guiding me to undo the button.
"Onyx," she whispers, her voice barely audible but filled with a kind of certainty that sends a shiver through me. "I trust you."
Those three words hit me harder than I expect. Trust isn't something I take lightly—not with my past, not with hers. It's a fragile thing, and yet here she is, handing it to me like it's the most natural thing in the world. I kiss her again, slower this time, pouring everything I feel into it—my gratitude, my desire, my promise to never break what she's giving me.
As I slide her jeans down her legs, she watches me with an intensity that makes my heart race. She is wearing a red bra and lace panty set, but my gaze is drawn to a small damp spot on her lace panties, igniting a deep primal desire within me. My inner beast awakens, yearning to possess her completely.
Leaning forward I put my face in the apex of her thighs and cannot stop from taking a big breath in and smelling her essence. The scent of her is intoxicating, like a drug I never knew I needed until now. It’s earthy, real, and uniquely her. My breath hitches as I steady myself, pulling back just enough to meet her gaze again. Her cheeks are flushed, her chest rising and falling with each shallow breath, but there’s no hesitation in the way she looks back at me. If anything, there’s an unspoken challenge in her eyes—a dare, a plea.
"Are you sure about this?" I whisper, my voice low and raw. I need to hear it again, to know that every step forward is one she wants as much as I do.
Her hand slides into my hair again, tugging just enough to send a delicious shiver down my spine. "Onyx," she says softly but firmly, her lips curving into that same sweet yet mischievous smile. "Stop overthinking and just love me."
My lips quirk into a grin before I press a soft kiss to the inside of her thigh, letting my lips linger against her skin. "Your wish is my command," I murmur, my voice thick with affection and a hint of teasing edge. I glance up at her, catching the way her eyes flutter closed, how her fingers tighten in my hair like she’s bracing herself for what’s to come.
"Patience," I murmur against her skin, trailing kisses down one leg and then back up the other. Her body trembles beneath me, her breath coming in short gasps as I take my time savoring every inch of her.
"Patience?" she repeats, her voice a breathy mix of frustration and laughter. "You're killing me here, Onyx."
I chuckle softly, nipping at the sensitive spot just above her knee. "Good things come to those who wait," I tease, though my own pulse is racing like never before. The truth is, I don’t want to rush this—don’t want to take a single second for granted. She deserves more than that. We both do.
Her laughter turns into a low moan as I press a lingering kiss to the spot where her thigh meets her hip, my hands gliding slowly up the curves of her legs. That sound—God, that sound—is going to haunt me in the best way possible. It’s like a melody I didn’t know I needed to hear until now.
"Onyx," she breathes, and there’s something in the way she says my name that makes me pause for just a moment. It’s not just the need in her voice—it’s the trust, the vulnerability, the way she’s giving herself to me completely. It takes everything in me not to lose myself right then and there.
"Yeah?" I breathe against her skin, my lips brushing so lightly it feels like a whisper.
She lifts her head slightly to look at me, her dark eyes full of emotions I don’t think either of us can name yet. "I’ve never…" She hesitates, biting her bottom lip like she’s unsure if she should continue.
I pause, my heart pounding as I lift myself up just enough to look her in the eye. "Never what?" I ask gently, brushing a stray strand of hair from her face. My voice is soft, but there’s no mistaking the weight of my curiosity—and concern.
She swallows hard, her cheeks flushing even deeper. "I’ve never… been with someone who made me feel this way," she says finally, her voice barely above a whisper. "Like I’m not broken. Like I’m… worth something."
Her words hit me like a freight train, and for a moment, I forget how to breathe. God, this woman. How could she not see how incredible she is? How strong and beautiful and worthy of every damn thing this world has to offer?
"Janelle," I say softly, my fingers tracing gentle patterns along her side. "You’re not just worth something—you’re worth everything." My throat tightens as I speak. "And I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that to you, if you let me."
The last shred of self-control evaporates as I slide my fingers beneath her lace panties. "Do you like these?" I whisper, and she shakes her head frantically. Without hesitation, I tear them apart at the sides, revealing her bare skin to me.
Her body is beautiful and I look to see her bare pussy I can't help but admire the glistening arousal between her thighs. "God, you're so wet for me," I rasp, my voice thick with desire. Her cheeks flush even more, but she doesn't say anything as I slip a finger inside her. Her pussy gripped my fingers and I thought I may orgasm just from how her juices gathering on my fingers.
Her body clenches around me, and she moans softly, her eyes slipping shut. "Feels so good," she mumbles, arching her hips against my touch.
"This is just the beginning," I promise her, my voice raw with need. "I plan on spending all night worshipping every inch of this gorgeous body of yours."