Chapter 22
CAROLINE
Iwas shocked when Aunt Augusta didn’t insist we go to the theater tonight as originally planned. She’d never paid any attention to my musings about how nice it would be to have a quiet evening at home, insisting we needed to be seen at every event.
Her sudden change of heart caused me no small amount of concern.
After the argument in Henry’s study hours ago, I didn’t see her again.
The staff told me she was feeling under the weather and had asked for her dinner tray to be sent up to her room.
Since Henry was out, I’d also eaten alone in my room.
I should have been taking this opportunity to bask in the silence, perhaps spend the evening reading , or… I frowned.
The hours stretched out before me, and I didn’t know how I was going to pass the time. I couldn’t very well write to my acquaintances back home since everyone with whom I would normally correspond was in London for the season. Perhaps tonight would be a good time to start a diary.
It was nine in the evening, and I was essentially home alone.
How ironic that for the first time this season, I didn’t want to be home.
I wanted to go out and, hopefully, run into Lord Kendrick again.
Everything had been turned upside down today, and for some unfathomable reason, he was the only person who could soothe my worries.
I threw myself backward across the bed and stared up at my bedroom ceiling. Candles were lit, and shadows flickered across its surface. I considered ringing for the maid and going to bed early. Perhaps Aunt Augusta would speak to me again tomorrow.
But I couldn’t make myself sit up. Instead, I continued to stare up at the ceiling and tried not to picture Auntie’s expression. At times like this, her resemblance to my mother was quite inconvenient. I hated disappointing her, even though my current situation wasn’t one of my making.
I rolled onto my side and tucked my legs onto the mattress.
Logically, I knew that Auntie didn’t blame me for what had happened.
The debacle was all Henry’s fault, after all.
But Henry didn’t seem to have a conscience, and he was probably out cavorting with Lord Penham.
Heaven knows what type of trouble they were getting into.
I just hoped that the next time he lost a gambling debt, he didn’t see fit to scrawl my name on a piece of paper again.
A soft knock at the door startled me from my spiraling thoughts. I sat up on the edge of the bed to find Auntie opening the door.
She looked down at me. “We should talk about what happened.”
I nodded and remained silent while she paced. Finally, after about a minute, she turned to me and took a deep breath. “We need a new plan.”
I tilted my head and waited. She seemed to have already given this matter some thought and come to a decision. I needed to know what she was thinking before I could formulate my reply.
She settled next to me on the bed and turned to look at me. With a soft smile, she tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “You remind me so much of your mother.”
I had to swallow back a sob. “I think the same thing every time I look at you. You and Mama are so similar. At times, I can almost pretend I haven’t lost her.”
Auntie shook her head. “She was much more carefree and adventurous than me.”
That surprised me. “I never knew that.”
Her smile held more than a hint of sadness.
“It was always my biggest disappointment that I couldn’t give my husband children.
But between you and Henry, I always felt that at least our family line would continue.
But now this whole mess with Lord Kendrick…
” She shook her head. “We could leave London.”
My heart began to race. This was exactly what I’d wanted a few short months ago. Unbelievably, Aunt Augusta was offering me the opportunity to go home and avoid the rest of the season.
“I know you didn’t want to come to London and find a husband, but I thought I was doing the right thing by insisting.” She clutched her hands in her lap and stared forward. “I shouldn’t have forced you to come.”
I covered her hands with mine and squeezed them. “You couldn’t have known what Henry would do.”
She shuddered and turned to look at me. “You truly don’t want a husband?”
I shrugged. “Perhaps one day. I don’t understand the hurry to wed before one is even twenty years of age.”
She laughed. “This is such a mess. So be truthful, Caroline. Do you wish to return home?”
Part of me wanted to leap at her suggestion. I could return to my beloved Dorset. Last year had been so tranquil, going for long walks in the morning, practicing my mediocre skills at the pianoforte in the afternoon, reading, sewing little gifts for…
I frowned. I’d been sewing small blankets for the babies my acquaintances would one day have.
I’d amassed quite a little collection of small gifts suitable to give a new mother.
I’d left the monograms off, of course, telling myself I could add them once my friends started marrying and having babies.
But now, when I thought back to that drawer of blankets, a strange pang settled in my heart, and I came to an unexpected realization. I’d been sewing those blankets for my own future children. I just hadn’t wanted to admit it.
“We could return next year,” Auntie said, clutching my hands within both of hers.
“Just say the word, and we’ll return to Dorset.
There will be speculation about our early departure, yes, but…
” She sighed. “Nothing scandalous has happened so long as no one learns about that promissory note.” She frowned. “Lord Kendrick won’t say anything?”
I shook my head. “No, absolutely not. He just wants his winnings.”
“So he won’t reveal the truth. And you promised him that you’d pay what he’s owed from your dowry.”
I nodded. “It is sufficiently large that I will still have more than enough left over.”
“Unless your brother decides to lose another gambling debt.”
Now it was my turn to frown. “He can’t give me away twice. Lord Kendrick has the prior claim, and I am not inclined to use the money my parents set aside for me to pay off all his gambling debts. Not when he has land and two estates.”
Aunt Augusta smiled for the first time since entering the room. “Of course not. He’s no longer a child and will need to learn to settle his own debts. Especially since he has so little concern for his sister’s well-being.”
I winced, but I couldn’t deny the truth of her statement.
“So, tell me, Caroline. Are we leaving?”
I don’t know why I didn’t jump at the opportunity to say yes.
No, that wasn’t true. I knew exactly why.
Lord Kendrick. I couldn’t help thinking he’d be disappointed if I left London.
Which was the height of foolishness. He wasn’t interested in marrying me.
For all I knew, he could be bedding another woman at that very moment.
I took a deep breath and met Auntie’s gaze. “We are already here, and the season will be over soon enough. We might as well stay a little while longer.”
Her entire face lit with joy, but her words held more than a hint of disbelief. “You want to stay.”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“Does your change of heart have anything to do with a certain Legendary Lord?”
I tried to ignore the heat creeping into my face. “Of course not. I’m surprised you think I’m that foolish.”
She bumped her shoulder against mine. “You would hardly be the first woman to set her sights on an unattainable young man.”
I turned to look at her, wondering what secrets she hid. She’d shared so little about her personal life. “Lord Kendrick has no interest in marrying me.”
A sly expression entered her eyes, and my heart began to beat faster because I knew exactly what she was going to say.
“Perhaps we can change his mind.”